It is not that I don't love you,
it is just that am tired of trying over and over again.
And I think I should remind you that I know of your kind.
You like revisiting your casualties, right?
I have some bad news for you,
shsh, I am no longer the naive mistress.
Go find the next,
Because I have gathered my pieces and moved on.

k not of the not of whales
and laughter
in the bellow: so old

i am disfigured in this tomb
i am listening
to the cure
and knowing
thinking that you are 18 year elder
my senior
and this is what happened
to Rilke
she was 15 years senior
and she brought to Russia-Asia
and i think
not so much Kant and his thinking
more his living
i can't but i must be awake
for the quake
and mustard gas
and seed spores like spiders
finding the demon-spider
the Hebrew Eigth LEgged
and and and
and and and
and and and

ooh: i need time to breathe
and then the space opens
and i'm looking for the curing word
the PANACEA...
and LOBOTOMY CHRIST
and EUCHARIST
of the PLACEBO
the twins
Panacea and Placebus
these are the Ancient
to counter
modern celebrity culture...
find old celebrities:
forgotten celibrities..

Michael Mcchyntire
Mccintire
the Surds
of England....
and if that's conflating
an admiration of Chinese
writing
then admire Chinese become
Japanese and
Korean
then look at Hebrew...
then avoid Arabic
because of the Quran...
Black Book of Arabic
is as shall be known
of the Quran:
the Black Book of Arabic
and there will a known
people and their language
brought to the fore...
let us leave the Quran  and the Bible
and let us
talk of the Democracy of Letters
and let us compare
literature
beside this book by the brick
thrown
to make ordeal the infrastructure
of man's hope to exist eternal...
          but the needed numbers
will be the dwarfs: throw us another book!
book by brick and brick and pages
of cement
and the whiffs and perfumes of San Francissco
and New York
and the first time i was there
i flew over and landed
in Curt Cobain's and Grunge
might i add the thirst from thinkinng
not saying:
i'd laugh at the joke
because it was playground
Kaiser-MArxier
a language joke
but foon on stage
the silent letter day
the gNOME
of the silent disappearing act:
say Gnosis and then say Diagnosistic...
how you can capture the big G
you do say the silence
and eternal letter
you say the gnome was diagnoised...
you didn't say:
dive-o'nose:
noose of the nose and the know oh ohs...
i opened the veins
and thus drunk wine
so i was drinking my fill
while i'm sure i did the least bit
of misery against
the world i drank
i listened to music
i drank some wine
i was alone
within
and against myself
and the world conspired with me
to just give it a peace of self
as the only piece of the world and the chains
of world and of the self there's the ego by calculation
that can implode the individual
to wage a war against the world:
i wouldn't and i couldn't nor:

         the regiment: the regime
i mean:
within the confines of the anti-solipsist
who started talking to Oedipus about
Anti-Oedipus
and Christ and Solipsus...
     and the Darth Sq'uid...
    the sqy for every shy...

         i was there when men where
solely the subjects of existence
while the women where
the objects of existence
one can say
that there is Life and Existence
as much as one can instill
the words:
there's Life and there's Nature..

so much of Nature can be explained
by Existentialism
without the postmodernist artists
we have the existential philosophers....
but here i am
i am saying to you:
nature can be treated on par
with existentialism...

shsh: 'ere *** z'ee SKY ZORES
scissors scissors scissors
Edvard:
scissors scissors scissors...
sky-zores... screat: screet:
concrete: ***** 8 draws on quarters...
more wine: mon fredo!

i said silent accent
that ******* wong is my wok
i mean you studying people
via me studying people
have i taken your body
or have you taken my mind
i feel i'm writing in the freedom
cage of bachelors
and you are thinking about
the electricity in the house...
i must be trying to get into
the SYNCH...

alone so i write
i'm thinking of bringing the great
Slavic Hoard
not Horde... the Hoard
of a personal Library:
i was in a house
where only 1 cockroach got in...
but i was the one who brought
Aristotle
Jon Fosse
and Knausgaard into the house
like when i took a room
at university
and on my walls
were the pictures of
Plato
Marquis de Sade
and Napoleon...

    and just imagine the routines of out intimacy
and i'm just alone
and the night comes
and i don't want to be alone
with God or Hell
and my parents have their lives
and i'm so suddenly complicated now
and now knot more
if i could not ask for divine inspiration
ifwith the library
extended: i could give more room
to these books:
but the Charles Dickens are Victorian
books and they must get out
unreadable
so waste of space...
but i'm keeping the Shakespeare
i'm bringing the 6 volumes:
because you probably didn't see
Junkowski's and the DZIU...
Madziu: przestan sie bawic w latawca
i tez strusia... dziu in less the Capital culture
transit:
so fiendish collateral:
the t.v. isn't on..
there is a weirdness in the air
because the refrigerator is going to get
butchered
and someone is going to eat
a tonne of ice-cream
and have zits and **** and thighs a'comin'

             air b'n'b back home and i'm on discount
two homes
but apart from the person that i am
i think i'm drinking because
boredom
i don't think i have a physical problem
it's not an addiction
but a mind-construct...
the body is in dualism: is it not?
yes: i will continue to drink
yes i will continue to smoke
yes i will continue to believe in God
because i Fear and i Fear in God
i do not Believe in God:
i Fear in God!
i Fear in God!

when i'm with my woman
i go from the TDs and the TBs
and the shakes
from 1 litre of ***** per day
to bring me down: Mr Kite Blue Man
Kiteblue Man...

but this addiction is alligned
to my body
not my body
alligned to the bodies of others
i mean:
sober up in your
drunken sleep
walking from mirage to mirage
drink while walking
through the desert
then drink magic mushroom juices
in the amazon...
and so few are named from
that study
of how the bay leaf works in cooking...

date? dirge: the forge stood on Edi's hill
Edinburgh: Edie's ol' Edies'...
Edinburgh my learning curve into discovering
Eddie the Slayer of many Edie apostrophe-and-plural-article
(s)...
        
intellectually if i were to spend time alone
it's crucial to rekindle
self-guru non-goo-rah...
for the sake of the mountain
and the gleaming stone of envy
and the river as the false
of Heraclitus...
reimagining Hereclitus' River and
Matthew... Faucet
part time plumber:
Jack O'Roo...

the river unto Heraclitus
but leverage me with Heidegger's Hammer
and i'm just in allign mode
Allan... Allan... Allan...
Mort.. Mort... Mort...

   give me Hereclitus' river
and i will give you Matthew's tap tap... drip...
tap tap... drip...
i can tell you the difference
between each droplet of water...
i became master of this dark art...
if you listen closely:
not two taps of water are alike...
there are 2 taps per 2 seconds

which was sort of funny to my parents
there are 2 x 2 = 2...
there ewas the 2 x 2 = 2...
depends on the letter...
when making a tunnel:
this is called blind tunnel building
2 x 2 = 2
when
you have, tools: 7, 1... 5
                      Z...
          L                        nurse...
the Greeks are getting ctrl+c tariffs...
             waiting...
and i wish i drunk the aphrodisiac
of the ******-active
just new next north yorker
so cool play it cool
so much little village people
or Mrs. Grays'

       i still don't know how to properly
write the plural and possessive
articles...
i have a custard fudge of confusion
like most
people in the outside world
with pronouns
i don't simply know how
to write
the possessive article with
the plural article...
i'm getting ᛋᛋ back...
Throne's
Thrones'
is
zest-esses...

               but that wasn't the example
i looked
and i decided
but what are we beside just
bringing children into the world
what does that call
this daughter if not Pope
my little ******
i want to create a Female ******
i want to give
a birth to a Female ******
using my mind...
i want my ego to become
a monster
i want Ray Lil' R to be my
monster Female ******...

i am so lost and found
i have a daughter
and i want cupcakes
with candles in their only one
eyes...

the addiction comes
with the brain being relaxed...
like Eslie and Narrator
Brian and the Jess
some Ross some Rose some
i'm thinking
because that ******* Golf Course
is bothering me..
i think i picked that up...
no Golf Course:
you seriously want those Mountains
and the primrose green
of people too confused with
the practice of gravity
as a subject: to other subject matters alinged
but as a stand alone object
like gravity
is so ridiculous for my care and concern
like time and speed...
time and space are...
when you're not comfortable... baby...
i get my demons into parliament
my demons are in parliament
and i have to sit the role
of whip
and curator...
who know what calls them
butg they come
and i wasn't asking...

you think i would be drinking
but when i am alone
and in my library
you have so much untold
and i'm alone
and you're not telling me
don't dream when
i i tell you how you curve in bed sleeping
like Walrus
moves in my bed
then the Giant Squid in Slurp...
or however kindle:
but there is the pedestrian route of god
throughout the lives of life...
the 20th century was almost magical
it truly was magical:
that's when it was all staged
the Apocalypse...
the Armageddon...
but these people that
still ascribe
Christianity
Judaism and Islam
to their name...
           there would never be this one
grand event...
which establishes the fact that
Christ's crucifixion that these patterns
happen: and matter:
but given the dynamic of Time...
Truth-Untruth-Truth-Truth-Untruth...
for one time it is true
but then not true:
depending on what makes more convenience
rather than sense...

i'm addicted to the mind
that thinks this
when this same mind
can't think this
when there's the family live invoked
and there's the pop corn eating
and the night gua4rd fireworks
like *** is
what's unnatural about *******
and *******
i watch it in absence
because i'm really attracted to her
and i'm not going to cheat
so i will drink and smoke
and keep the knot of nuts...

but if that wasn't her greatest ordeal..

the ripetide rhoi:
O wow...
there is the advantage of printing
letters
then flinging words
or if you want to substitute:
there was no criterium
for what: has already happened
and no blissful Zion emerged
like the failings of the Third *****
and... 3rd Republic of France
5th REpublic of Poland...
is this the First Zion Party?