You're still the first name I think of when I scan my thoughts scouring for a thought; when I need a thought to drift myself to sleep to

I want to view you as innocence and I did for a long time and I tried to take your reticence as a sign of neutrality, not belligerence or a sense of mocking

How silly was I, to assume that 5 whole months that you refrained from the topic of me was neutral
That you were just moving on, but not on purpose

But oh my, you've become more belligerent than I ever expected a little girl with a shrunken ego to be and my, I didn't think you could say those things about me. But you did.

But, entropy is apt to only consume us; yet, the scatteredness of our atoms cannot explain why you chose to tell me that I am not right in life

You've defended yourself by projecting yourself onto me and my making me the scapegoat so you can pick up some girl that you don't have to ***** to ****.

And I guess that humanists and I are wrong because well
People ******* ****.

From the moment
I opened my eyes this morning
I felt
Scattered.
I wanted to be bound up in string,
To keep me
From falling apart or
Better yet, in someone's arms
They'll hug me tight, close,
I will feel their warmth
And won't be so
Scattered.
But I
Cannot bring myself
To inflict my scatteredness
Upon them - they have lives,
Too, which are not my own, and they
Shouldn't be in charge
Of my scattered life,
Needing to pick up my pieces.
And I know they say
They are here for me
And I know they say
They don't care
And I know they say
That's what friends are for,
But still I cannot bring myself
To ask.