Molly Upstairs was the first to greet me
as I moved in
immediately she showed me a new tattoo
she had just had done
upper left arm
it looked like a dart board
she didn’t say why but
within five minutes I had learned her father
had been abusive she had crap taste in men
always went for muscle over brains
her fatal flaw
and
how she paid for it oh how she paid
but
I benefited from the muscle as she hollered up
the stairs and a huge bloke in a grubby bat wing tee shirt
and denim cut offs appeared
grinning, calling me Chief,
and carried the rest of my gear in
without complaint and Molly Upstairs
told me a Norwegian lived on the ground floor
computer geek
worked for a software firm on the edge of town
renting cheap creaming his expenses
and a guy called Sanjeev lived next door to me
sweet guy from Mumbai always looking to borrow
an iron
and to go out for a drink with anyone at
anytime anywhere
another computer nerd she reckoned
and she was all legs and little denim skirt and a
pink tee-shirt that said ‘**** Buddy’
and blond hair pulled back in a black scrunchie
and offered to bake me a cake but she
assured me
it wouldn’t be a sponge one
know what I mean
the peel of crazy laughter from above
the sound of Red Hot Chilli Peppers starting up
pounding bass
the shower’s ****
the landlord’s a ****
if you’ve got a motor
don’t park out the back it’ll get nicked
best to drink and smoke
to dull the pain
but always remember
to have a laugh

The world according to
Molly Upstairs.

It took less than twenty four hours
before Sanjeev knocked on my door
and asked to borrow an iron
I gladly obliged and he seemed like a nice guy
we went down to the local bar for a drink
all neon and deep sofas and young fools
who thought
having an unmanageable mortgage was cool
and would drink obscure bottled beers
and text **** all
to ******* people
all the ******* time
but I drank Stella and Sanjeev
drank Guinness
and he was lonely a long way from
his family
Mumbai far far away and
he couldn’t understand divorce
and why I was living on my own while my
ex-wife and kids lived
just up the hill
western lifestyle was clearly beyond him
the finer points
he clearly
would never ever get
but we got steadily more drunk and he grinned
and grinned
and he told me about his faith
about the Hindu religion
and it sounded really good
loads of little Gods running around
doing all sorts of things to each other
pretty cool really all in all
although I am sure my synopsis
doesn’t do it any real justice
but we wobbled home laughing
and he said that’s what he will call me
from hereonin
Captain Wobbly
and I like it
as I’ve been called things much worse
in my sorry *** time
so Captain Wobbly will do
for now
for me.

Hi Dad,
I just wanted to write this to let you know how much you mean to me
I’m not a very open or expressive person by nature
But on this fine day, I wanted to open up my heart to you and let you know how I’ve been feeling
Sometimes we only truly recognize the value of things when we’re about to lose them

About two weeks ago, I thought my life was collapsing
The imminent threat of your demise shook me from within
I often run away from the way I actually feel
For the first time in my life, this was something I couldn’t run away from

You have been there for me since the beginning of my existence
From my first breaths to my journey back to the US
Life hasn’t been fair to you
But you are the gift that keeps on giving

I’ve met many people in life, some of extraordinary caliber
I’ve looked up to many celebrities, just hoping for a chance to meet them
In not one of them have I seen such a capacity to handle other people
You take the world’s blows while giving back more and more

I’m mesmerized by your work ethic and astounded by your grit
Though you’re quick to get angry, your empathy is ceaseless
I wish you all the best in your next life
Honestly, I don’t deserve you, and you don’t deserve this existence

I’m an atheist, so I don’t believe in any higher power
Nevertheless, I see you as the source of my power
Aside from being my creator, you’ve been my source of nurturing
Without you, the world felt like it had lost its meaning

I’m a firm believer in nihilism, the philosophy that there is no meaning to life
In the wake of your ambulance ride, I found my purpose and meaning
Maybe life has no meaning logically, but in my heart, you really matter
I can hide from the world, but not hide from myself

I gave up on my self long ago, but you kept pushing me
So far and so hard that you almost lost yourself
Thanks to you, I’ve had an epiphany on my life
What on earth have I been doing

I feel like I’ve made this a little too dark and existential
So let’s lighten the mood a bit
I’ve seen a lot in your wake
Nothing has amazed me more than your enthusiasm

When it comes to carrying out tasks, you execute them with absolute persistence
Nothing seems to stop you, not even your own body, it seems
You are the foundation of the tree
No matter how much I chop off, you keep growing

So today on this momentous occasion, I come to show my gratitude
I’m quite self-centered and egotistical, so this doesn’t really come naturally to me
Thank you for all that you keep doing
And thank you for being the wake-up call in my life that I absolutely needed

Happy Father’s Day, Sanjeev
I hope that you spend the rest of your life in extreme bliss and happiness
You deserve more credit than you can think of
I just hope one day I can live up to your legacy