in an alternative universe I would have walked out of my hut and approached the police officers peering in and said: sorry, you can't park here, there's a McDonald's delivery truck on site that will be leaving soon and you're blocking access, can you please move the vehicle... which would have spared me the consternation... ooh: I love words that I use infrequently: and that would have been that... but then I wouldn't have the adrenaline to right a wrong and apologise to one person who deserved it (the delivery driver) and that mindless confrontation with a ****** in the form of an old woman shouting at me from the balcony: O **** me Romeo... I'm not climbing to such heights... in an alternative reality I wouldn't have been summoned to write these words... but I did spring into action and the delivery driver lost maybe 15min... that's fashionable for life to somehow become a salient drama of organisms with voices beyond the ruptures tectonic and dogs barking... clearly this woman has been observing me for some time... one slip of my bad judgement and I get scolded... **** me... and it's not even someone I know or care about... but shouldn't police officers know the "hygiene" of how to park a ******* vehicle so that it's not obstructive? Excuses excuses: but no... is there any sympathy for the devil so lowly cast that he has no army, no wealth to contest an argument? who is in the wrong here? who is in the wrong... in the end it was callous of me to presume the car would only be parked for a reprieve... but it's not like a ghost limb lost cause with only a minor delay... trains get delayed... that ******* glaring audacity of critique: why you no robo? why you not robot? erm... because my cognitive range is beyond shouting down on people from a balcony? maybe that?! I have a rich cognitive realm that doesn't descend into such trivialising and watching jeopardy on television? 15min late doesn't imply a ******* irreversible amputation of a limb... give me a ******* break! in an alternative universe: this poem doesn't exist.
a haggard old woman emerges
onto a balcony
brandishing a telephone call
like a pitchfork or a flaming torch:
why don't you respect the time
and the work ethos of immigrants!
I will be watching you,
filming you... do your job!
do your job!
you should have prevented
the police car from obstructing
the access road for the McDonald's
delivery truck... you are wasting
his time!
in her thick immigrant accent
and I'm thinking to myself...
then I coerce her and agree...
I did see the police car drive up
and park where they shouldn't have...
to female officers walk out...
they peer into my security cabin...
see me... ergo: if there's someone
organic in there, surely this access
road must be live... split second mistake
as I was still deep in Military Time
planning my route home,
given it's a Sunday and there is
reduced service on everything
from buses to trains:
1st northern line train out
of Elephant & Castle departs
at 0721
****... that would mean 21minutes
wasted...
1st trains from LST (Liverpool St)
to RMF (Romford)
plat 9 0723 : 0739
plat 11 0733 : 0800
plat 11 0748 : 0815
plat 6 0753 : 0808
Bus stop V at RMF
499: 0743, 0813, 0843
103: 0808, 0838
175: 0803, 0833...
****...
Bus stop D near E & C
35: 0700, 0713 to London Bridge
journey time <15min...
then Jubilee line to Stratford...
17min from London Bridge
if all goes to plan I should catch
the 0748 train...
it could hardly be a noise complaint
and shouldn't the police officers
know better?
I didn't react in time
but I also thought they might
be there for a short while
given their choice of a parking
spot...
but that woman complaining
that a man wasn't doing his job
is... well just that... loud mouth
not enough grit to grind teeth
and manage stoically...
she just wanted someone to shout
at from the balcony...
and while the engine was grinding
a Bach ***** into the ground
and ambient sound
again the audacity: don't pretend
you can't hear me!
Split second decision...
but the police officers saw me
and I saw them...
but being women regardless
of uniform: deer in headlights...
could have waved a friendly
hello and asked...
mea culpa I know I should have
just ******* ran out and spared
myself the headache:
but you hardly think that police
officers could be guilty of bad
parking ethics...
sure... in a traffic accident where
they have to block off the road...
but so brazenly casual in no state
of emergency?
why didn't the police officers get
the brunt of the old woman's anger?
why? because they were women, no?
how else to simplify it
that in my mind I tried to intuitively
allow for the parking to take place...
am I a traffic warden too?
can police vehicles be warded off
from bad parking?
I thought that being in the police
while in uniform gave you some
******* immunity?
and didn't I just play out a:
benefit of the doubt scenario
in my head whereby I thought they
might only park for 15min?
they saw some alive manning
the access road...
so I sprung into action
first via the access gate to the rear
of the police station... called twice...
gave the reg plate...
upon 2nd time was given
suggestion to go to the front gate...
ran round and the clerk
already dealing with one matter
saw horror in my eyes
radioed through, although
we shared a similar frustration
at the somewhat pointless radio traffic...
within minutes: I ran back
apologising to the delivery driver...
same driver who upon entry
also apologised when I said to him:
I'm going to the toilet...
why are you telling me this?
How long are you going to be?
An hour...
went to the toilet walked back
to my hut and so he approached
with a sorry misunderstanding:
well yeah, I don't work for McDonald's
either...
that ******* haggard old woman...
shouting and giving me paranoia
that I now have thinking
she's sitting there all alone in
a pretty plush residential building
where crazy rich Asians come and
go, deliveroo at 2am, prostitutes etc
while I'm just wanting to finish
the Decalogue (short films about: xyz)...
but if police officers don't know
how to park their ******* vehicles...
that just gives me all the more
impetus to finish my driving
license theory in half the planned time
**** of to Poland for two weeks...
get the actual license...
then ******* to Hawaii and never
look back at this place...
this urban cesspit...
