Hey!?
Why are you sitting there like that??
I don’t know
I just feel alittle down in the dumbs
Oh!?why??
I just feel thar the core of my existence is vain
Why would you say that??
Think of it this way
A carpenter that can’t make smooth tables
An firefighter who can’t put out fires
A singer that is mute
An artist with no art
What are you trying to tell me?
I’ll explain
I have always put my worth in how people respond to me!
I don’t quite get how that relates to the other sentences??!
I’ll continue
I treated my self as an occupation
A career
A position to occupy to be of use
Thinking like this got me to have expecations
And what do you expect from an imperfect being??
I don’t know mistakes i guess?
Your getting it lets continue
Expectations leading to disappointment
Over and over and over and over and over
To me to myself i didn’t know why this was happening
Am I not worthy of getting what I give?
Is something wrong with me?
Is my soul and body that ugly?
Is this face that i see in the mirror a facade
A construct of my broken psyche
Wait hold on a moment!??
So your saying your mad?
I don’t think your crazy though
You quite delightful
Hmm..I Shall proceed…
As I came to this conclusion
And shattering awakening
Despair befell my mind
I even made constructs to contain this shattered mind
What are the constructs you might ask
Pain,Anger,Vices,Will,Madness andEmotions
So Each was like an Espada on my grand table
Headed by a construct I did not create
This kinda sounds like a movie man!!thats raddd!!
Shut up I am almost done anyway
So as the castle crumbled
The unseen constructs took control
And then the realization
Why do I feel pain?
Why do I have to feel this way?
Internal thoughts or feelings never reach the ones directed to them
The pain in my chest after this realisation
Deepened like a void
Why are you unworthy?
Maybe I have the face of a goblin?
The heart of a demon?
The actions of a greedy king?
No one answered my questions?
As i wailed in atmost silence
A chill befell my body
As if the kiss of death
And i saw the construct of the unseen
Ask me do you want it to stop?
I answered,”Yes make it stop”
He answered,”Very well but you won’t come back from this.”
The construct “feeling” was butchered infront of me
And he walked away!
But I remember clearly in its final moments
He smiled as If its thoughts flowed into my head
“Do not fear i do not hold it against you”
This made grief feel the heart of this weak being
Why?!
Do you think i made the righr decision?!
Do you?!
I don’t know
Lets go home now its late
