(I)

Whose coat is this? Sure as hell isn't my coat. I ain't got no coat with this parka ****, it's *******. I ain't no furry flamin' ******. I ain't no ****** chochy Molly-May-Ze-**** chokin' down chickens and nasalin' a'sniffin' snortin' nasty-*** choch; that ain't me. That ain't me. Look at this coat– I'm like an Eskimo *****. I'm like a butch-**** bull-**** crotch-lappin' a'swimmin' laps in that guy's swimmin' pool. Who's that guy? Who owns that guy? 'Ey, anyone here the owner of this guy– guy ain't got no owner? Whose coat is this? It's nice, real nice. Bet she said, "Does it come from France? Where do I buy one?" I want to buy one, I think I need to buy **** more. I sure as hell need to buy one of these. "And I need one these too and one of them too and I need a petticoat and a tipper-tapper and a whimpratic garfielder and one of them new bartlemores, I need more of them bartlemores. I need more, more, more, more, more, more..." That ain't enough. ****'s from France. ****'s from Paris, that's romantic. You think I'm romantic? I eat hearts for dinner, I chew down nails like nuts for my midnight snack. I smoke cigarettes and spit on concrete slabs, you think that's ****? I'll show you ****. I'll show you Paris, New York City, Rome, romance you in Rome. I'll get real ******' Roman. I'll take you to the desert and make love to you. That's how a free man does a woman, and I'm a real free man. Who's ownin' this guy? It ain't you, it ain't me. I don't own you, you don't own me. I'm a free man:

I said,
"Fire and wood, fire and wood, fire and wood. It is late, it is late, it is far, far too late."

I set
fire to wood, fire to wood; feel that fire fired fresh from that firewood.

I dug the pit,
he gathered the wood,
she started the fire.

She really does make that fire start.

O' how she makes that fire burn,
O' how the wood's wrapped in white hots,
O' how they smoke their smokestacked pipes,
O' tobacco teeming teenagers, tormented by and through youth,
O' adolescence, trending topics, and forget-me-not flowers,
O' old age, Floridan coffins, and coughing  cancers,
O' writers in the mountains writing to be,
O' painters and **** bodies in studies by the sea,
O' thinkers in their mindset, mindsetting the table for dinner,
O' tables set to bursting,
O' wallets so thick,
O' community,
O' society, our social games,
O' hope,
O' peace,
O' that I may be at peace,
O' that I may be content and pray only for peace,
O' how about them true believers,
O' how about that love at first sight,
O' sandstone. My sandstone. That guy sittin' on sandstone.

That's my guy. That's my guy. I own this ****.

Is a man breathing on a mirror the sum of his breaths?
Breaths foggin' a'mistin' my view,
my view of a body and that face,
you're a body.
You're a workin' day's bell,
you're my chill in an Icelandic draft,
you're my spare in a Middle Eastern draft,
you're my pawn in chest-to-chest chess.

You've got this. You've got this. You own this ****.

And it is ****, too. I'd be set, real ******' set, with someone like you. I'll make you a woman, check this parka ****. Coat's mine. I'm a classy igloo runner, runnin' a'ragin' a'czebelskiin' meriteratin', I'll be reiteratin' your points. Check the time, it's late! It's late! ***** was in the grassy knoll turnin' trap tunes on her turntable. Would you listen to that? She sounds late to me, does she sound late to you? I like the music; I like the music. What happened to Woodstock? Where's my watergate, Nixon? Where's my generation, Ginsberg? Where's the meaning? This music's too loud! We're so profound! O' profundity!

Tell me something I didn't know, I'm craving' the new.
Give me the new while I spit on the old,
while I spit on this fine art finely art'd by and for fine artists–
******' fine artists. ******* fine artists.

(You can realize radical-realist realism but you can't be real with me?)

O' fine art!
What fine art!
Which fine artists are dead?



(II)

Looks like they're dead.

Looks like them ******* choked out all them ghettos, choked out all them rednecks, chokin' a'stranglin' by-God-oh-God straddlin' the breeders. I sure did like them babes– babes with their laughin' a'lackin' o' cynicism. They don't know the word "****."

I sure am forgetful–
I forgot that smoke doesn't dissipate,
I forgot how to smell autumn leaves,
I forgot to check the heart against the fingertips,
I forgot why my fingertips went numb,
I forgot to cue in the meaning when the sentence was complete,
I forget to complete my sentences,
I forget who you were wanting when you said, "I want you."

I got as much depth as an in-depth discussion, high hats and electropercussion have got me going. I'm goin' downtown, uptown bourgeois tricked me out, johns and yellow Hummers laid me down and cussed me out. That's not a discussion. That's not my scent scenting my towel, this breath reeks of wintry air– my fingertips went numb.

"I want you."

"Oh would you look at that moon?
Take a look at that moon.
Look at that moon with the ******' mountains.
I love that moon.
That's my moon."

I love darin' a'dusty dareelin' derailin' your dreams, whose dreams are these? They ain't my dreams– ain't no dream derailin' a'nileerad radiatiatin' some hint of joy or Jamison Scotch Liqueur. Drink that ****. That's my ****, I own that ****.
I'm sittin' on this stoop like I own this ****, like this **** owns me; I owed me. I don't own me, you owe me:

Pay up man, feet off the stoop.
Pay up man, be real with me.
Pay up man, you ever thought of a man as a man?
Pay up man, give it in.
Pay up man, give in.
Pay up man, I need you to do me a solid. Do me solid from crown-to-toe, we're toe-to-toe let's do-si-do bro-to-** I'm ready go, **, jo, ko, lo, get low… Now I'm ramblin'. You say, "Ramble in to the stoop and tell me a story."

What's a stoop– who's a stoop? That **** ain't stoop– you ain't stoop. You're stupid. You're a joke, check out the joke. Hey ladies, you seen this joke– joke ain't been seen by them ladies? I'm a joke. We ain't laughin' with you, they're laughin' at you.

O' hilarity!
Such hilarity!
What hilarious histories have passed?



(III)*

"I said I loved him once. I only loved him once."
(And how long once has been...)

I sure did like them hand-holdins,
them star-gazin' moments,
them moon phasin' nighttime nuances,
them fingertip feelin' a'findin',
them sessions o'meshin' limber legs unto steadfast *****,
heads cocked like guns toward the sky,
beyond the horizon
but well
below the belt.

Them star-gazing moments seeing stars seemin' small, I love how they gleam- gleamin' a'glarin' comparin' shine to shine, shimmerin' a glimmer shone stumblin' her way home from the bar. She's drunk. She's brilliant, brilliance of whit and wantin' a'wanderlustin' gypsy nomads- that ***** gyp'd me, no mad man would take a cerebral slam to the face lest them moving pictures are involved. Read a ******' book, it'll last longer. Kiss me on the collar bones, clavicles shone shining with slick saliva pining for my affections. You're clammerin' to feel me, clammin' up (Just feel me.) I want to run my hands through long hair and peg the nausea nervosa to the wall. The writing's on the wall:

The sun bent over so the moon could rise, chanting,
"Goodbye and good riddance,
I never wanted to shine down
on them seas o' tranquilities anyhow."*

O' what a day. What a day.

And the wind ruffles leaves and it ruffles feathers on birds eating worms in brown soil.

What a day. What a day.

And the men under the bridge gather in traitorous conversation of governments overthrown and border dissolution and poetry with meters bent out of tune.

What a day. What a day.

And the billboards are dry for all the consumers to consume, use, and review.

What a day. What a day.

And hearts break messiest when you're not looking.

What a day. What a day.

And the ego and the id and the redwood trees are talking. They're sitting **** in the marshes, bathing in the bogwater while fondling foreign fine wines and whisperin' a'veerin' conversations towards topics kept well out of hand, out of the game, nontobe racin' in races, rampant radical racists betting bets on bent, bald Bolshevik racists wagging Marxist manifestos in the bourgeois' faces, yes. Make it be. Nontobe sanity as the captain creases his pleats, pleasin' her creases and the dewdrops of sweat trailing down the small of her back– down the ridge of her spine forming solitary springs of saline saltwater in the small of her back. Aye-aye, guy's pleasin' a'makin' choices a'steerin'– government's a'veerin' a hard left into the ice.

'Berg! 'Berg!
Danger in the icy 'berg!
None too soon a 'berg!
Bound to bump a 'berg!
O' inevitably unnerving 'berg!
Authoritative 'berg!
Totalitarian 'berg!
Surveillance of *** and the sexes 'berg!
O' fatalist fetishist 'berg!
Benevolent big brother 'berg!
Homosocial socialization 'berg!
Romanticized Roman 'berg!
O' virginal mother 'berg!
City on a hill on a 'berg!
Subtly socialist 'berg!
Nongovernmental 'berg!
O' illustrious libertine 'berg!
Freedom of the people 'berg!
Water privatization 'berg!
Alcohol idolization 'berg!
O' corrupt and courageous 'berg!
Church and a stately 'berg!
Pray to your ceiling fan 'berg!
Biblically borne 'berg!
O' godly and gorgeous 'berg!
Ferocious freedom fighters launching lackluster demonstrations far too post-demonstration feeling liberty and love, la vie en rouge, revolving revolutionist ranting on revolution tangible as
an ice cold 'berg.

'Berg! 'Berg!
O' the 'berg, the ****** iceberg–
You'll be the death of me.

We’re riding,
feels more like flying,
because this car,
feels more like a spaceship,

used to ride in a hybrid with eyes red,
now I ride a Tesla clean as a whistle,
used to use the pen as a sword,
now I use my laptop as a missile,

sorry I’m not sorry if I missed you,
didn’t intentionally diss you,
just been focused zoning on my poems,
keeping it going with my mind on the mission,

listen,

this is the future,
most are out to lunch better catch up,
this isn’t a **** it sandwich this is blessing dressing,
not an invalid salad but an important portion so pay attention when addressing us,

fck,
trying not to cuss too much,
but what the fck,
sometimes too much isn’t even enough,

probably heard that before,
probably didn’t know that was my line,
see when over a million people have read your words,
your words get rewritten time after time,

rewritten but not bitten see there’s a difference,
and yeah I know that the difference is a line and that line’s fine,
and it’s crossed when the message is lost and the spirit leaves the body,
but it’s not when I hear the words repeated in songs and I know those words are mine,

because when I know other people also know albeit sublimely,

I guess that’s what happens when your work outgrows you,
when you hear words you wrote in songs and quotes,
and it gives you that potent mix of anxiety and adrenaline,
which leads you to speeding by throttling the clutch like a throat,

heading north on America’s most west coast road,
going 100 MPH with no MPG up the PCH,
no MPG because the ride is all electric,
like we are running in this lifelong race,

racin’ with Jaden we ride out to our Topanga hideout,
got a whole 10 acre mountain top up there,
where we go to get ghost when we need to get away from foolish folks,
from their flashing lights Hellish cellphones and all their blank faced phony stares,

riding,
feels more like flying,
because this car,
feels more like a spaceship…

∆ Aaron LA Lux ∆

Angels have wings
Well, it depends on your perception
When I first saw you I swear nothing could describe the connection
You looked into my eyes, saw my soul, smiled at me, reached for my heart then offered me resurrection
You asked me why my heart hasn’t been beating in so long
You took a closer look ,saw that it was falling apart and you sung to me a gentle song
And the sound of your voice filled me like air
The touch of your fingers felt like care
My broken heart now pumpin’ racin’ screamin’ cause the last time it lived
it lived in fear,
You tell me Angels have wings
Well, you haven’t met mine
Her kiss is like sunshine
Her soul is like moonshine
Strong, glowing , illuminating

(song lyrics)
Verse 1:
Now I can’t go fishin’, ‘cuz ya’ sold my rod and reel
Can’t go snow-racin’, ‘cuz ya’ sold my snowmobile
And I got flaws - that’s for sure - and sometimes run amuck
But the final straw that I can’t take: Ya’ sold my pickup truck

Chorus:
You can burn the house, shoot my dog and stomp my ol’ guitar
But when you sold my pickup truck, well, Honey, ya’ went too far

Verse 2:
I didn’t care when ya’ bought that stuff on TV’s QVC
Or ‘cause ya’ always thought of me as your private Money Tree
Or catalog-orderin’ ever’thing from within ol’ Sears Roebuck
But I’ll be danged if I’ll sit still since ya’ sold my pickup truck!

Chorus:
You can burn the house, shoot my dog and stomp my ol’ guitar
But when you sold my pickup truck, well, Honey, ya’ went too far

Verse 3:
So I went and saw a gypsy gal, and a curse on you imposed
To put sand in your chewin' gum and runners in your ***** hose
And all your clothes and accessories to never, ever match
And chiggers in your bed sheets - so you’ll always have to scratch!

Chorus:
You can burn the house, shoot my dog and stomp my ol’ guitar
But when you sold my pickup truck, well, Honey, ya’ went too far

Verse 4:
I seen ya’ last Saturday night at Bubba’s Bar and Grill
The image of you in stripes and checks remains within me still
And them red chigger welts upon your nose and face
Tells me that the gypsy curse is workin’ ever’ place!

Chorus:
You can burn the house, shoot my dog and stomp my ol’ guitar
But when you sold my pickup truck, well, Honey, ya’ went too far

I wonder what would happen if you knew,
Those times when I had a glimpse of you,
Smiling with those eyes that can't seem to be true,
Or on that day when we talk about dew,
And how my heart was racin' but you've got no clue,
Oh, what would happen if you knew,
How many times my heart aches for you,
Though in love I still feel blue,
For deep in my heart, I knew it too.
That there can be no such thing as me and you.

-MCJ

It's cold outside but warm within,
Rose candles golden glow,
With you here right beside me -
Let winter say hello!

The fire's all cracklin',  blazin'
On the wall play love's shadows,
Contours of time a-racin'
Let winter winds bellow!

Your eyes like stars a-twinklin'
I'm lit from my head to toes,
The chords of my heart a-jinglin',
Let cold winds blusterin' blow!

Hearts alive, all hustlin'
And the music turned so low,
Whispers of sweet nothings
As winter steals the show...

A white night beaut' unfurlin',
Snowflakes dance so slow,
Twirlin' , whirlin', swirlin'
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

***********


Inspired by the song...

Backpack strapped back to my back packed up ready for the next destination,
got a train then caught a plane from Lisbon to Budapest but got no rest,
now it's time to go again & I’m all out of answers but I do have a question,
if I’ve been awake in this American Dream for so long then when do I rest?

See,
people on the outside say my life is great & they say it with a hint of envy,
they say that I’m who they want to be or at least that’s what they say to me,
& honestly I'm too tired to thank them nor have the patience to engage them,
because I'm racin' to the next destination on a spaceship with a window seat,

daydreaming awake & gazin' out the window wow this view is amazin',
see it's more about what you leave in than it is about what you came in,

but honestly,
I’m depressed,
& honestly,
now that I've got everything else I'd like to finally get some rest,

I'm upset,
still having a good time though I must admit,
because I'm blessed with the rest of the best of the Jet Set clique yes,
but must confess I'd like to find a nice nest where I can get some night rest,

because I’m tired of going whichever direction I'm pulled,
tired of going wherever the wind blows,
& I know it's an honor to receive all these invitations,
to all these events all over the world,

but it's as exhausting as it is awesome,
so I'm searching,
for redemption & as God's son,
through my sins I am praying,

God,
please take me home,
if life Itself is a prayer,
& we bless everywhere that we roam,
then it shouldn't matter that I never made it to church,
it should only matter that I'm a Believer that believes in redeeming his soul,

oh no here we go,
I wanted to take the time to marinate & elaborate,
but I'm writing this at a fast pace with haste because I’ve got a flight to catch,
& if I stay here any longer to take the time to elaborate I’ll be very late,

& once again I put down the pen in order to make my next date,

so I’m back packing,
I’m backpacking as backpacker not a back tracker,
so I'm moving forward because I've got a feeling that I can’t ignore anymore,
which is that there's more in store to explore & everything's still exciting,

& I want to share all of these experiences with you,

but I can't take you with me so instead of inviting you I’m writing cues,
to help you find the clues in all these experiences I'm going through,
as I live it up to the limit of the sky no gimmicks I'll admit to you why,
it's because I’m only living this life & visiting these towns for you,

so come spend some time with me,
so we can be together before we both go away,
because we all know what They all say,
baby tomorrow isn’t promised today,

tomorrow isn't promised today,

& that’s why I’m back packing,
getting ready for the next destination & always ready for action,

backpack strapped back to my back packed up ready for the next destination,
got a train then caught a plane from Lisbon to Budapest but got no rest,
now it's time to go again & I’m all out of answers but I do have a question,
if I’ve been awake in this American Dream for so long then when do I rest?

∆ Aaron LaLux ∆

New Book FREE:
www.scribd.com/document/388173677/The-Holy-Trilogy-Volume-2-Mandalas

Bio HERE:
www.amazon.com/Aaron-La-Lux/e/B00ODPJAOK

I'm a space man
Doing space man ****
I'm a space man
With a space man ship

I'm in a space ship
Doing space ship ****
I'm in a space ship
With a space suit, *****!

I'm a space walkin
Space talkin
Space casin space man, *****!

And I'm just a cadet

A space cadet
With space man jets
Doing space cadet ****

A space racin space man
Doing space man ****

I'm THE
Mother ******
Spaceman, *****

Takin a spaceman ****

L

Old Milwaukee raised me.
Groomed me, shaped me.
Prepped me, made me.
I must have been born for the wild..
Bright lights, long nights.
Skyscrapers, paper chasers.
Yellow cabs, livin' fast.
Dream chasin', heart racin'.
Crowded trains, heat and rain.
Livin' right, rockstar life.
Heart breakers, money makers.
I was definitely born for the wild.
Baited me, hooked me.
Caught me, took me.
New York City has my heart.

picture taking souls escaping click shutter click
times a wasting
2 make haste a makin'
slow turtle slow, the hare did not necessarily win the racin'
its the haste he was makin' that slowd the pace he was pacin'
go turtle go steady as she goes
with er' ribbons an bows
time grows an grows
with er' ribbons an bows

She pushed her cart so frankly,
Eyes straight forward -
Never sidecast,

Nor down to the tray
Showing a splendid array
Of treats
I knew
Were mine.

But then that woman
Went blinking mad!
Racin' her goodie cart
Much too fast,

Rudely ahead,
At things I
Yet
Had said -
Her gown
Screaming

A ****** red.

--

Hair yanked
My eyes
Down -
The drone had stolen my gown!

Rattling wheels
Still forging ahead -

She had given me her
Flute and her
Tongue-tied suit,

(The suit that I knew
Gave them
Control over you),

Her wolf eyes
Wide,
And dead.

My filed down nails
Grew into claws,
Clenching my empty cup,

"I did not drink it!"
"I will not drink it!"

Then the cup was filled back up.

That woman stood still
In front of me -
Hands tied down to her sides,

As she silently mouthed her
Starch-white song,

"There's nowhere
You can hide."

I hurled my cup
With that bitter water
At her blaringly
Condemning
Face,

"I will not eat
Your grinning sweets!
You won't keep me
In this place!"

--

Nuts and bolts
Flying and Floating -
Stinging a rip
In time,

Punctuation
Chasing my words,
In haste -

But,
No trace of her
Could I find.

--

Too much parepin in my water.

All I wanted was a night out on the town with her
With all the love and adoration that I promised her
Fitted cap on my head, felt like a trend setter
A mental slap from my momma; I should’ve known better.

Picked her up, and I was starin’ at her gorgeous outfit
Her fitted top, her cotton blouse, and lookin’ fine without it
Honored to stand beside her, I didn’t mind the clues
I found her very attractive wearin’ designer shoes

Took her out to dinner, we’re conversin’,
Lobster in citric acid – she devours, thinks it’s worth it
The in-house chef comes at our table and asks,
“This is the fifth time you’ve ordered,
So can you make this your last?”

The check is at our table; I offer to pay for it
She doesn’t even glance, pullin’ out her phone
I noticed her nails; she paid a lot for ‘em
Dinner was very painful
She wants me over? I'm startin' to see her fatal halo

On our way to her place, a man was gettin’ robbed
I’m shoutin’ at the attackers - she’s actin’ very odd
Tell her to call the cops to try and get these boys to stop,
“Sorry but I’m in a hurry! I’ll see you at the spot.”

Ten minutes later I’m racin’, and knockin’ at her door,
Reachin’ her place and I notice she’s pacin’ back and forth,
She’s on the phone with a “*****” who stole her ex from her
Angry detonation soon as she got a text from her

She tells a “Jada” on the phone, “***** I don’t give a ****!”
Jada responds “wantin' to let you know and wish you luck.”
But you can tell that she was jealous of Jada’s position
Her ex is treatin’ her better, happy with his decision

I’m wonderin’ what happened; turns out that Jada’s pregnant
“She thinks I care about that, knowin’ that I resent him!”
She claims she’s better than Jada in every single way
With self-respect and sayin’ prayers every single day

Seekin’ some validation, she’s beggin’ for a kiss
Intimate opportunity, she’s hopin’ not to miss
Her sweet, angel hazel eyes are lookin’ sour ‘cause
I’m just exhausted and feelin’ the witchin’ hour buzz

She lashes out; I see the reason why this girl is single
Admits to cheatin’ on her ex and so she’s out to mingle
Pulls out a lash and then proclaims that I should punish her?!
I’m out the door within’ seconds cause I’m so done with her!

It's driving me absolutely insane
that I can't get this girl out of my brain
even though she's a little young for me.

I can't remember the last time I was crushin
I guess it makes for a good discussion
my friends think it'd be good but would she?

Love comes in hearts not ages
hits people at different stages
It's a part of all decisions
makes for emotional collisions
and most of all it brings us pain,
until the perfect person comes along, and brings us everything.

I can't believe my hearts racin
this much over a girl I'm chasin
I want to know if I can win.

The fight for her is gettin fun
I'm wondering if she could be the one
or am I just gonna hurt a girl again?

Love comes in hearts not ages
hits people at different stages
It's a part of all decisions
makes for emotional collisions
and most of all it brings us pain,
until the perfect person comes along, and brings us everything.

I guess life's about taking chances
seeing what come of summer romances
and trying to figure out God's plan.

This seems like such a giant task
but I just really want to ask
if this girl will let me be her man.

Love comes in hearts not ages
hits people at different stages
It's a part of all decisions
makes for emotional collisions
and most of all it brings us pain,
until the perfect person comes along, and brings us everything.

Until the perfect person comes along, and brings us everything.

Burn that **** out at your place
Ash to ground like sun rays
Radiation, pacin'
Facin', racin'
Makin' my way to town
Burn that **** down to the ground
Smoke in the air
Heat level risin'
Seekin' the horizon
Sun down smoke still there
Guns out town folk's lair
Hills with fog, devil's vlog
End of the year
Hollywood air
Fire in the sky
The media's lies
Drain them and turn them
Learn them, and burn them
Mistakes and passions
Rich fakes and cashin'
Luxury and mansions
Burn all that ****
Say that's it
Sin city too
Desert make them move
Burn that **** out at your place
Ash to ground like sun rays
Radiation, pacin'
Facin', racin'
Makin' my way to town
Burn that **** down to the ground
Listen to that sound

to find salvation in this snowy station
with these pasty walls has got my mind racin.
tracing the snowman’s footsteps, erasing all my mis-steps.
the Black Queen is gonna crumble, their whispers turn to mumbles.
I’m sorry for this color,
forgive me for this blunder.
I can’t fight no more, this strong Brown sista.
she’s cracking under pressure,
she cannot find her mista.
but what she need him for?
why ain’t she independent?
why am I not accepted?
just first answer my question.

My Eyes are suddenly open,
Late at Night
Early Morning,
They Certainly aren't droopin'.

My mind is racin' and loopin',
on this phone
with this girl,
You understand, me not hopin'.

Whether it's my problems
Or even us
now or later,
But after all these gremlins.

I'll be grateful that you,
were here, there
to talk, to listen,
and to set me through.

I walk to the lake,
skip the rocks
and to hope,
were everything but fake.

they come to haunt me and taunt me
making me resent things feeling empty
putting thoughts in mind , so sorry!
i design this rhyme to pass time,
Every time i break down,
i feel no chime, quiet like a mime,
losing whats truelly mine, is my mind, that i can not find,
i feel this pain inside i feel derange and i sometimes, engage  
with what in front of me, this saten, is haten, of me cakin,
holdin the Jesus piece,no time wastin, just waitin for my time,
to exceed the needs of success, im patiently pacin,and pacin
yet racin, im late yet early to punch in, im not goin down without a fight with who who ever is lurkin,
am im certain the curtain is clossin ,
im keep spittin and writting my words fighting even if its hopeless, that i will change
and it will get alil bit better,
with alil bit chedder,
ohh this, this otis, gottsa gottsa to be open, and im open, but the world is sooo close, an closen ,and cold and im doing what i been told, years and years im gettin old, i wanna be immortal, enter a portal , everybody knows
times goes off course soo, i stay i on lane, doin my thang , flippin paper empty the pain with a  pens by the stains.
do you know what its like to be a mystery everybody wanna solve ya, but you wanna a revolva to be history, misery loves company, and im comfort by the honesty, of an oddity, that i wanna be,
and i wanna get even, with a these heathens breathin, forever steamin my self esteem is  depleatin , replenish me please jesus!
i need this , vent, **** everybody who i met, did me wrong the first sec, i regret ,and resent and spent times on something true useless, like the rest...of my heart, torn apart grown to beat and spark, but not ****** in the light so i love to dwellin the dark!!!

beatin on the radiator
goin up the elevator
you runnin' through my head
racin' through my mind
driving me crazy
hope you're having a good time
end of the night i'm banging on your door
beggin' you for more, please
lock the door, please
your body suffocates me
more than the cigarette, baby
holds me alive
no compromise
now or never
stupid endeavor
but so ******* worth it I could scream
just like you scream my name
animalistic
never simplistic
and that's just how you like it

Awwww, man, I'm flippin', news reports got me trippin'
My mind's busy racin' foot's tappin, I'm pacin'
They say, and I trust, in a few decades time,
That the icecaps will melt and engulf the coastlines, of
New York and LA, and New Hampshire and Maine, and
New Orleans will be but a massive flood plane,
It's a tad bit insane and alarming to say,
That it's been brought about, by our self obsessed ways,
They say India just had the hottest of days,
Ever seen in its history, see, it's a mystery,
Why we don't act, we have limited time, and
The scientists warn us, as temperatures climb,
While republican senators watch and insist,
It's a "liberal myth" and it doesn't exist,
How I wish I could choke 'em and watch 'em turn blue,
Like the color they hate! It just cannot be true,
We're destroying the means for our species' survival,
Proposals for action all dead on arrival,
Cause Exxon and Shell simply MUST have their profits,
So they buy the elections, and silence the prophets,
They lobby with hundreds of millions in bribes, and
Darken the futures of billions of lives,
Revolt now becomes an imperative need,
We must favor each other, instead of their greed,
We must march in the streets, upon Capitol Hill,
Or on parliament buildings, until we instill,
The fear of the ones who demand something new,
Because, we are the many, and they are the few.

"Still feel the pressure of his touch
Legs clutched
Hearts racin
At the thought of
His face in
Between my thighs, no lie
A kind of fire I can't begin to describe
And so I must wait
I must wait for the both
Him and our wife
Out on a date" ~atiyaebony

Round three o’clock,
I’ll roll over— wide-eyed and violent,
Tummy to the bed;
Leaning on my elbows, thoughts racin’ through my head
Like I never slept at all.

I’ll look around, searching for something
In the empty night; in the empty bed,
Anything that’ll keep me free from my head, but
I won’t find it— just my half-eaten dreams. And me:

Hungry cannibal,
Watching in despair
As they shiver and dissolve, like whispers in the air—
But they’ll come around again; they know me well.

All too soon I’ll step out
From the empty bed
Where the monster sleeps, and I scramble at threads

That shiver and dissolve  in the empty night
Where morning hides. But that’s alright;
I’ve come to love them, the frost and the stars—

Perhaps like me, they’ve got lonely hearts.

Lights are dim
Hearts uh racin
You had me
Passenger seat
Faster and Faster
And
Faster and Faster
Harlequin girls
Boys and
Hold the lover close
Stomach acid
Faster Faster
Harlequin
Dance to this beat
Dance to this beat
Dance to this beat
Faster and Faster

ACTIVITY: Racin' Through
LOCATION: The Milky Way
DIFFICULTY: Super-Duper-Saiyon-Suicidal

(note to contestant marked with )
no tutorial or manual provided for following crash course *

Weather conditions
currently causing
poor visibility coupled
with severe road conditions.
A night in which
a direct drive to
destination
is preferred.
Despite the clear and
ominous signs;
Still I choose
a quick yet unnecessary detour;
And predictably I have to speed
as to be able to hit
Milky Way drive-thru
On time.
As I drive through my mind..

Never parked
am I.
Never have I just made it;
Never have I
quite arrived.
Chronically on my
way. Forever cursed to
be, 'Be there in just
a min'

A hamster-wheel..
Or a one-song playlist
on repeat..
Driven ******* loopy!

A late nineties,
early two-thousands..
Rap, Hip-Hop, RnB
'Best Of: Hits'
created and curated and
written and performed and
produced by:
EXPERIENCE

CONSISTENT  CONTRADICTION
I'm a perfectly consistent contradiction.
I'm oiled by tons of lightweight friction.I'm
spending my time with no time to spare;
while suffocatin' on all the fresh air.
I'm slurrin' my speech with perfect diction,
while truthfully expressing science fiction.
There's not a lot more that I can say,
so I won't take long;
just forever and a day.
My past draws ever closer as my future fades away.
I'll see you in Hell but have a nice day.
I have ultralight opinions that hold lots of weight;
can't draw worth a **** as I'll illustrate.
You may think I'm on your doorstep, but I'm a hundred miles  away.
See you in Hell but have a nice day. I don't know why you're so
insistent that I have to be perfectly consistent.
Can't you see that I'm doin' OK?
See you in Hell but have a nice day.
I gotta  comatose brain that won't slow down;
a friendly warm smile that's sprinkled with a frown.
My mind is racin' 'bout a mile a minute.
Get out of my life cause I need you in it.
I'll take Mastercard or Visa but you don't gotta pay.
See you in Hell
but have a nice day.
Consistency  is overrated,
and lunacy is unappreciated.
Every corner of my coaster has got one roller.
I've gone clinically sane,
while being bipolar.
I'm as short as Paul Bunyan and tall as Tom Thumb;a cross between Einstein and Dumber and Dumb.
I'll wish you a Merry New Year in the middle of May ,and I'll see  you     in Hell but have a nice day!

I wonder what would happen if you knew,
Those times when I had a glimpse of you,
Smiling with those eyes that can't seem to be true,
Or on that day when we talk about dew,
And how my heart was racin' but you've got no clue,
Oh, what would happen if you knew,
How many times my heart aches for you,
Though in love I still feel blue,
For deep in my heart, I knew it too.
That there can be no such thing as me and you.

The funny thing about being in love is that you have to have a heart in order to fall for another. The sad thing about me is, is that i dont think i can really feel anymore. Theres a ghost inside my chest where my heart use to be, it sits in its rocking chair waiting for the light to shine through and the once happy freefall of love to come back. But wait something went wrong in the rewiring of my brain my neurons and arteries can no longer accept the emotions i once felt. I look at everyone around me and i see smiles. I see kisses in between laughs and the ache of remembering i use to want that so bad makes whatever i use to know of the processed emotion of love is torn.  Maybe i cant blame the boy who never gave me a choice, or the man who stood tall and proud and shoved me down into the shell i have become..in a single second i feel on fire just like her now darkened hair, her blue eyes beg me to love her and something inside me wakes up and i have to protect her with my life. The need to hold her in my arms and keep her safe is too strong for me to resist. Momma told me not to fall in love with a girl, she said nothin good wouldve come out of it. But my hands are clammy and my heart is racin i fell in love with a girl who sang such sweet tunes to me and now i can never feel the same about another.

Who am I ?

I patiently asked....
But my answers were not answered....

As i sit under the shed drinking a hunters
I layed all my motives
Under
My heart racin.... that's
A sound of a thunder

Who am I?
Asked my father
The answers i got....
Deviates from one another....
I thought of me and I
But they was the other....
My self
Hidden behind the shelf
Taking orders like an elf
Pointy ears
Strange fears
I heard
All in my head

Who am I in your eyes?🌹