"quiting" poems
Its the feeling you get when your mind is a war zone, a warped home where grimmy thoughts roam, with no guidance or support zone, your so frightened to fight it on your own. More poems of suicide and self harm, you ever dreamt you died and felt calm? Just a truant mind with health crimes, help cant cure a ruined life in Hell's palms. You fell in to a ditch and because of it popping bottles of pills that you mixing your ***** with, then nodding off a bit picturing god and all of it, a doctors on the phone telling you to ***** it. Consistently monitored, the alcohol, the quiting , the six, seven seizures, its the moment a schizophrenic freezes, hearing a voice that whispers when it pleases, the vigilant bulimic, the obsessive and compulsive,the bipolar mood swing and stomach ulcers. Its the hidden issues that the medicine alters. Its the judgmental that the depression repulses ,the anxiety, the psychs with the notes, the post traumatic stress and the vices to cope. The prices of dope,the ice in the pipe that you smoke. The knife the rope, the temptation of slicing your throat. Its the stigma determined to scare you, when the bourbon your served is your urgent repairer. When not feeling nervous becomes rarer and your mom quits her job to become your permanent carer. Its the psychotic episodes, the days that you lost seeking help, but being crazy isn't something I am ashamed to admit, so stay strong anybody who relates to this, please.
Mar 9, 2018
Mar 9, 2018 at 9:58 PM UTC
January 28th:
I don't eat the Doctor's candy anymore cause mama Earth's candy tastes better,
I'm not wasting my time being suicidal, I'm going to die someday anyways.
Everyday is a different trip. Life is just a drug.
January 29th:
FAIL.
January 30th:
Detox day one.
January 31st:
Day two went really well.
The feeling of quiting:
Is kind of like an internal bomb,
detonating & destroying
everything in its path.
&
When the fire finally dies and your covered in ash.
All you can do is wait for the rain to wash away the past & rebuild.
Congratulations, you've reached a good state of mind.
Welcome to Mania. I hope you enjoy your stay.
Apr 15, 2012
Apr 15, 2012 at 1:40 PM UTC
Let us write our stories
Reckon all moments
A passage to self-reflection
With a display box of grandeur,
Fingers on a key pressed,
Levitates a search in no time,
Way out of the crowd
Quiting a reality to roam and wander
Nothing is outside, all within
A big circle of virtual connections,
Without months of eye contacts
No face to face,
Sending empathy through e-thoughts
Having a common ground,
Hope to run faster than Terabyte,
We love seconds more than a minute
WiFi made all worth living
Sending signals to the soul
We will feel it, anyway.
Feb 17, 2018
Feb 17, 2018 at 1:29 PM UTC
One day, the sun lights up the sky
Warm air blows grass from side to side
The next, the clouds are black
Rain brewing between thunderclaps
On that warm day your face shines bright
Conflict run from you without a fight
But when those clouds come storming through
I must learn quick how best to deal with you
Do I give you space or ignore what's wrong?
How do I ensure that today we'll get along?
Questions, questions on my mind
Yet without them I'm just living life blind
For you, I'd rather face every challenge around
Than have lived without your voice a familiar sound
These aren't just words to make a rhyme
This is how I feel daily, all the time
I plan to keep you forever in my life
No drifting, no quiting, at least on my side
Please, please why can't you see
You're one of a kind, I need you close to me
You're not like other friends
No, not even close
You're hot-headed, yet thoughtful
And to me you mean the most
So take my words, my thoughts, my soul
Keep me in your heart wherever I may go
Yes, the weather will change from day to day
Sun in the sky or black rivers that flow
But no matter how dark, no matter how bright
I'll be there through it all, I'll keep you in my life
My love is yours, you never need to say sorry
Because forever and always, you'll be my
Amare
Apr 13, 2012
Apr 13, 2012 at 1:23 PM UTC
I want to quit.
I don't feel like telling them
every thing that goes through my mind.
I never did.
I hided things.
I always hide stuff.
But I don't know when my therapy will end
and that scares me.
Quiting it sounds good right now..
Jul 9, 2015
Jul 9, 2015 at 3:36 AM UTC
Just giving up,
I've thought about leaving,
and i've thought about us.
im thinking about my future,
trying to see how I will maneuver
I think about the money the fame
but you only get it if you play this game
I think about school and where I'll go from here
so much time so much potential.
and I think of an easy way out.
im thinking maybe I'll quit.
Jun 3, 2013
Jun 3, 2013 at 11:22 AM UTC
The lack of your essence gives me the shakes,
I lose the strive to survive,
Quiting begins to sound like a gift,
I need you near
To keep me from collapsing,
Your my best friend
But your also part of the problem,
But still I need you,
You hug me,
Take away the pain,
Wipe away the tears,
Tell me it'll be alright,
But you'd leave me if you knew,
If you knew I'm in love with you,
And in this moment I am a puzzle
With a million missing pieces,
And while your near I feel a little less incomplete,
I need you
Now
And Forever
If only that could be.
Apr 30, 2012
Apr 30, 2012 at 1:37 PM UTC
A lot of **** has been on my mind.
Aside from how much I hate Christmas
I'm focused on making money.
And detoxing
Quiting drinking
Quoting smoking
The fact that I have to end a friendship because she chooses not to respect me, my wishes and our relationship and my girlfriend.
It ***** but that's okay.
But what honestly hurts me the most
Is that, I don't think my girlfriend cares about how I feel.
Sure, last night she talked me through a lot of **** I needed to talk about.
But I feel like I can't talk to her about the way she hurts me sometimes.
She'd never hit me.
She'd never do anything that would make me completely submissive
however
If she feels like she's not in control of her choices she's
obstinate
Unwavering.
I respect it.
It just hurts sometimes.
she talks to her ex boyfriend.
It's not wrong.
Well it wouldn't be if it wasn't the same guy she left me for
The same guy she said
"Well, I just want to see if he's what I want."
And when he wasn't, at least I was still waiting.
The same guy that would lose intresf in her whenever she'd leave me for him.
I'm hurting and my self esteem is **** because of this.
He invited her to go play manhunt and I'm positive had I not been with her that night she would have Humored him at first then gone when she realized it sounded like fun.
The only reason I'm so sure
Is because she told me that she told him next time she'd be down to play.
She thinks "Alex texted me today and tried to make plans but I turned him down so I could be with you"
Or
"I only hug him up for bud"
excuses talking to him.
Man, I feel ******* worthless.
All I know is that I'm over it.
I'm over hearing his name
And knowing he talks to her and she lets it happen
because
Because
Because
Because why?
What makes hearing from him
More important than actually setting me at ease.
Does she not care?
Do I even matter?
I feel like I'm worthless these days
As shallow as it sounds
Making money is the only thing that's helping my self esteem.
I don't even like money.
Dec 20, 2015
Dec 20, 2015 at 11:08 AM UTC
Isn't it funny how you can burn down your own house from the small ember of your last cigarette. How your forgetful toss of your most uncharming habit into the untrimmed brush of your houses surrounding can ruin everything. Your careless toss of the twice puffed cigarette banished in disgust and hopes of renewal and yet your world comes brutally and disgustingly crashing down. It makes you wonder if it's ever truly worth quiting our flawed vices. perhaps our caous and addictions are more us than we think they are and without them we will burn down our entire house
Jul 13, 2017
Jul 13, 2017 at 12:20 AM UTC
Do you ever feel like your drowning?
Like no matter what you do your not resurfacing?
Your trying to scream for help but your suffocating?
Your heart is weak but its beating and all you can do is wish it starts quiting.
Your not even living anymore you're just sinking.
Nobody can even see this happening because they arent caring.
You thought you were striving but inside you are just dying.
Your mind is trapped from the constant lying.
Im okay.
I am okay.
No i am not okay!
I am alone!
I am scared!
I AM DROWNING! SOMEONE PLEASE SAVE ME!
...
...
...
Its okay i understand your busy...
-Been
Apr 5, 2018
Apr 5, 2018 at 10:05 AM UTC
I think that I'm submitting.
That maybe? I am quiting.
That I am tired of the taunting
That this is just so daunting
Maybe I am unhinged?
That I finally flinched.
Sleep is what I dread.
No longer comfortable
in my head.
May 7, 2015
May 7, 2015 at 11:29 PM UTC
loneliness makes my veins hurt. like as if they are being drained of the blood inside of them. loneliness makes my eyes tear up, with all the fluids I drank today to make myself look preoccupied in order for people not to think I'm a loner. I feel lonely.... and it *****
I want to go out with a friend, I wish I had a friend. I want to feel love, not the bf/gf type of love but any love. I want to be loved, I want to be cared for by someone other than my mother who has to love me. I want to not sit alone in my room and cry about being lonely.
I want self growth, I want to be the person I've always wanted to be. someone who is happy and contempt in life. I feel scared and alone. I'm scared of facing reality and the fact that no one cares about me. I'm scared to go to graduation because no one but my mom and brother will cheer for me, I'm scared of that because I'll be embarrassed and probably drop my diploma out of frustration. I'm scared to grow up. im scared to face the even more free time I'll have to fill with self pity in college.
I have to get a job soon and I'm scared ill **** up. I'm scared to do anything that will embarrass me. I dont want to go to a new environment. I want to be able to be happy In a place i know. that's why I regret quiting my job, I knew how it worked and how to do things. but now I'll have to embarrass myself working at a new place. meet new people. fake smile at new customers. fake smile at myself in the mirror.
I always complain and never try to make a change.
as I write this my veins hurt, my heart feels weird. I read last night that loneliness can **** I tried to die last September, but that was on my own agenda.
I'm not sure if I want to die just simply because my heart couldn't take the fact that no one wanted to be around me. it hurts.
I'm tired of the pain. I am so tired of this constant feeling in my veins that makes me want to rip them out.
Mar 24, 2019
Mar 24, 2019 at 4:22 PM UTC
Here we go again,
tears are falling like rain.
Life is now being insane,
and every part of my heart feels every pain.
Dying isn't my goal,
but now I'm thinking if I should fall.
Life is so unfair,
I'm now quiting in every dare.
I can do anything,
but don't push me with everything,
I'm not a toy nor a thing,
I'm alive and I can feel any pain like a human being.
I can fall easily,
I can quit,
I can **** myself,
if that's what you want me to do.
I can hang myself,
I can stab my heart,
I can easily drink a poison,
or even drowned myself in a tub.
I can begged for my life,
I can surrender my own life,
I can trash my effing life,
I can do every wrong if that's what you want.
Can't you see?
I can't think straight,
I can't fight,
I can't even stand.
I'm quitting,
You can now live happily,
you don't have to worry about me,
I'm happy to know that you are happy seing me dying.
I quit!
Mar 1, 2018
Mar 1, 2018 at 6:06 PM UTC