Breathe in and blow everything out of proportion
A manic artist versus the abstract composition

In my head this all looked as perfect as imagination
The challenge was blending the line between fantasy and reality
To get the inner critic to agree
Worlds colliding this one into the next

Dreams manifested to the forefront 
of a visionary gone inside himself

Throwing myself against the walls of my mind 
In an attempt to think outside the box.
Even in our own heads they've got us on lockdown
With the chemical constraints constricting creativity 
These straightjackets of sorts
Straightening out the free-thinkers

A fourth wall broken

Pretentions are high
On the artist's plane
Subjectively selling ourselves out to a shallow medium
The mainstream
The water we should be walking on
We're drown out in.
Drawn into the background of the bigger picture.

We are nothing that matters,
created in mystery
while slowly dissolving to dust.
Pretentions and delusions our comfort as reality bites with it's point filed teeth.

We are not made of stars, nor moondust, we are products of all that has gone before and the destruction of all that is yet to be. 

I yearn to see this life through a rearview mirror, it's withered form a speck on the far horizon, for the hurt to stop as this knife in my back plunges further into my sickened depths, severing my spine from all it holds dear. 

I yearn for silence, for these thoughts to stop spewing from my acid tongue, burning my unkissed lips with a million wasted words while attempting to say only one.

Minutes turn into months, decades of meaningless days and miniscule triumphs. 

The stage is set, my role is uncast but the curtain never falls, I stumble wildly through blind utterances, dreaming darkly, while anxiously awaiting the applause that will herald my passing.

This is not living.

I take the time everyday to drive outside of my mind
To drive and leave everything deemed important aside
I dream, but I couldn't leave it all behind

They call themselves roots, but I've seen plants walk before
They say they've a heart under that trunk
And they sure as hell can't leave

And the clowns leave the circus to play games
They leave the world to live under a new name
Making jokes that no one ever hears

It's 4 passed 2004
And you're so little hiding under your hair
You're so careless, teenager, you're coming of age in a pretentious rage

And our parents close the blinds
And they changed the codes on the safe when we had almost figured it out
And the paradox resumed, as we got our guns from another house
And we blow holes in the sky
Just to show God we didn't need him to learn how to fly
We blew holes in their brains just to show them what really dies

‘Living on the edge’ is pass
It’s all of ‘fear of the unknown’
And the ‘pressure to perform’; every time
To live, you have to go beyond the fear
To live, you have to go beyond mere motions
To live, you have to fall free, like a feather

Between the light blue sky above
And the deep blue ocean below
Blistering through the binge of clouds
First, a heavy frightful fall
Eventually ensued to a tranquil of timbre
And a weightlessness of body and soul
That Free Fall, swept away, all my blues

The string of connect I had with the Chute
Was once again the umbilical cord of life
The Free Fall, a journey through the tunnel of life
The Free Fall faced me up with lose and desperation
Inhibitions, stereotypes and false pretentions
And everything close to worries and hurries

The Free Fall, fails you to fear again
The Free Fall, fails you to fail again
The Free Fall, lets you FREE…

three times we have made it to the northern sanctuary
each carried its own significance
each with its own emotions to bury

one: honeymoon phase
a new beginning, an exciting future
the only constant being us
celebratory boats, bikes, birds

two: friends join
a year in, half a year not all in
shadow follows me around
a week spent in anger, one or two exceptions there

three: pretentions
i hold it together, 1 and a half years in, you know
how much
i crackle, snapped and popped after
i did not dare show my emotions; grin!

Margins are interesting places
where the unique can often be found
A simpler freer life,
uncomplicated without any pretentions.

Dipping skivvies in hogwash
Pig play, pretentions and lard
Our love such panache slosh
Not choking on what's not hard
No worries, I've hardly been scarred

Constraints of Mosaic law
On me leave nothing confined
For the little curled tail I saw
Once whipped, delectable find
Oh how I enjoy my swine

This little piggy went to market
While this little piggy did squeal
None the piggies found bargain
And even more piggies did steal
For an honest piggy, no deal

Oh in squalor, am I left to wallow
Greased pig be slippery catch
This all may be hard to swallow
For one pig, does another fetch
Stop me now, as I snort and kvetch

Take difficulties as a challange
never as a sorrow
Share with others with zeal
never with gloom and
Play with children
Always to bloom
Lead the team with big theme
never for a selfish regime
Give others as if it were theirs
never to expect something favours
On festivals record your presences
never try for lame pretentions
Go slow with firm determinations
never fall to false appreciations
Guide right to even opponents
never try take them with cruel hands
Try to learn in an easy way
never go for it in a crazy way
That is a nice red carpet
where you lead n hope better result

I don't write poems drunk,
Drunken poems write me:
Within this hazlewood
Of less-than-goods,
I've arrived in style with clarity.

The stormy seas, the false pretentions,
The media, the Feds, all the deception.
The conformity of this seemingly miserable life.
Is unnecessary, I reject it.
I demand serenity, nothing less will suffice.

https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/l8njruxa73yee9b0jzmhd/The-Ultimate-Unabridged-Guide-to-Esoteric-Working-English-2.docx?­rlkey=kunoar7ghpfkb7fjk5xkdgx95&st=i84ornny&dl=0

THE CARAPACE OF EQUANIMITY IS AN EQUIPOISE BETWEEN THE PARALLAX OF URANOPLASTY GAINSAYING AGAINST BALDERDASH OF BALBRIGGAN ASYLUM THAT MIGHT NEVER COWER TO LEGERDEMAIN THAT THE COAGULATION OF SPONTANEOUS HATRED NEVER DEFILES A MAN BEYOND HIS MEASURE SUCH THAT THE EFFLORESCENCE OF MOTIVATION IS A DRIZZLED DWIZZEN ON THE CURGLAFF OF TOMORROWS REGRET WRENCHED BY THE BONNYCLABBER OF RATHERIPE VENGEANCE BY SOUNDBYTE MENDICANT TATTERMEDALIONS OF SENTINEL CERTAINTY IN A WORLD PULLULATING WITH THE CURMUDGEONS OF GERMANE RHADAMANTHINE NEGLECT COUNTERMANDED BY THE INSIDIOUS RAGDOLL PILLORY OF RADICALISM BECOMING TOO SHALLOW TO FATHOM AND BEYOND DEPTHS OF GRAVITAS INCURRED UPON LARGESSE PROTENSIVE IN NEBBICH IRONY BECAUSE OF NETTLESOME NOISOME NEPIONIC NOMOGENY OF ULTERIOR TRENCHANT RANCOR THAT RECIDIVISM PROMOTES TO SOLDIER THEIR WAY DOWN THE SASHAY OF INTOLERANCE REDOUBLED IN INGEMINATED FESTOONS OF GRAVID PRIMIPARAS OF THE JOCKO JOBBERNOWL KALIMKARI JOGGLE OF SVEDBERG BEYOND DELIMITATIONS OF IMPROMPTU SPONTANEITY FORGOTTEN BY THE MAGNANIMITY OF TIME AS A MISTETCH OF MISCALCULATION FOMENTED BY APIKOROS SWEEDLING CAJOLING REMARKS OFFHAND AND IMPERILED BY THE SKERRY AND SKELDER OF IMPORTUNATE GLAIKERY REMANDED AND REPUDIATED BY THE WEIGHAGE OF STEVEDORES MUST THEY RELENT IN THE PURSUIT OF AVARICE BY THE AVENUES OF IVORRIDE BECAUSE OF INTENSIVE SCRUTINY WALLOPED BY LUGUBRIOUS HAUNTS OF JACKALS WANDERING THROUGH HAPPENSTANCE RADICALISM THAT PRETENDS ITS AFFRONTS ARE ANY LESS PALATABLE IN THEIR BALKANIZED NEUTRALITY THE WAYSPAY OF BLUEPETERS OF BLUNGE OF ORTHOPTEROLOGY BECAUSE OF ORCHIDACEOUS LIES OF MENDACILOQUENT PATRONAGE OF FILIGREES OF RAMPARTS OF INDUSTRIAL SABOTAGE INCURRED BUT ALWAYS DENATURED BY  THE SONDAGE OF THE SEDERUNT AGAINST SECODONT SAMIZDAT OF TAGHAIRM BECAUSE OF THE MAUDLIN GRAVES OF GRANNARIES OVERTHROWN BY COCARDENS DESTINED FOR FRUITION BUT NEVER NONCHALANT IN DOCIMASY ULTERIOR TO DEVASTATION. IN THE GRAVIMETRICAL DISDAIN OF EISOPTROPHOBIA COUNTERMANDED BY IMPERATIVE NARCISSISM MANY ARE STRANDED INSULAR BY THEIR OWN FRICTIONS WITH ABRASIVE JINGOISM THAT STRADDLES THE NOVANTIQUE OF LAVEERS OF PIRATES OF SAFETY AND HARBOR IN THE IMAGINATION OF THE HAUNTING PHANTOMS OF HEADLESS HORSEMEN PRISOPTOMETRY BECAUSE OF THE SENTIMENTALISM OF LURID TRAVESTY EXACERBATED BY CONTUMACIOUS CONTUMELY HIGHLIGHTED BY THE RANCOR AND JALOUSIE OF RAREFIED STELLAR RETICULATIONS OF CONSTELLATED CONGEALED JEALOUSY FESTOONING LUKEWARM POLITICS OF THROMBOSIS BECAUSE OF GRAFT BECOMING INSUPERABLE IN ITS CHARMING FACADES OF WHIGGARCHY BUT ALWAYS DEMERITED BY THE ILLUMINATION OF HAPPENSTANCE GLORIFIED IN CENTRIPETAL MOONSHOT CORDIALITY THAT BECOMES THE UNIFIED BRIDGE AMONG PEOPLE UNITED IN THE SOLIDARITY OF STRATHSPEY AND SPATHODEA ALIKE THAT WE MIGHT BE UNITED AS A FRATERNITY BOUNDLESS IN ASPIRATION BUT BOUNDED BY A FINITE TRUTH AGAINST A FINITISM OF FIDEICIDE BECAUSE OF RAMSHACKLE BOLAR BOLTROPES OF CALVOUS DISREGARD BY THE CARRACKS OF INTIMIDATED RAZZMATAZZ AGAINST MOMENTARY HEFT IN HERCULEAN EFFORTS MODERNIZED BY THE RALTENTION OF THE FILIGREES OF UNIFIED FRONTS AGAINST THE MATRIOTIC DECLENSION OF THE SHILLS THAT SPARE THE SEDERUNT OF SENNET MIGHT THEY FIND THEMSELVES CULPABLE FOR NEGLIGENT FORESIGHT OF APATHETIC REMAND BECAUSE OF ARBOREAL TAUNTS OF RAREFACTION IN REGRET AGAINST MALEFACTORS THAT TRY SEEDY BOWERIES OF NOTORIETY MIGHT THEY INCUR ONLY THE CREDIBILITY OF DISBELIEF BECAUSE OF THE INCREDULITY OF THE BURDEN ON THE PUBLIC TOLL OF IMAGINATIVE STRAIN THAT GOD PROVES HIMSELF AXIOMATIC ABOVE ALL LEVIATHANS OF HERCULEAN PROMETHEAN FULGURANT RAMPARTS OF RAMPAGE IN STAMPEDE TOWARDS FRENZY BECAUSE OF LITTORAL SALVAGE AND TOWERING IMPERIUM THAT EXISTS AN INSULAR PRESTIGE ABOVE A CARCASS OF JAWHOLES SINKING IN QUANDARY RATHER THAN POISED IN RESOLUTE RESOLVE TO EXACT THE QUAGMIRE INTO THE LORE OF THE HEROIC CHAMPIONS OF TRAGIC HEROINES MAINLINED BY THE BEATIFICATION OF "PERPETUAL INDULGENCE" CONTRARY TO THE VOLITION OF GOD AND THE PERMANENCE OF MOTIVATED ENTELECHY AGAINST THE VAIN IDEAS OF AUTOSOTERISM BECAUSE WITH RAPIDFIRE INGRATIATION ONLY TO THE ATTUNEMENT OF THE SATINET TO THE NOMOGRAPHY OF PRESENT MASTERS ENRICHED BY CONSTELLATED VICISSITUDE SOARING WITH GEOCARPY IN KOBOLD RESENTMENT OF SVEDBERG JOGGLES OF SEISMIC TERRAIN OF LIABILITY, STRAIN AND TORQUE OF NAIVETY ROTATED AROUND THE AXIS OF THE SHADOWS OF THE GREATER MIND ABOVE THE SUBLIME MAJESTY OF CAESAPROPISM BEYOND MERIT WE FIND THAT THE SATURNALIA OF PREFIGURED PEDERASTY THAT REMAINS DEFIANT OF THE LURCH OF TRIAGE AND THE DELIMITATIONS OF PATAPHYSICS MIGHT WE LAMBASTE THE LAMBENT DISTRACTIONS OF THOSE THAT DEFILE SACRED TEMPLES WITH INCIDENTAL SABOTAGE BECAUSE OF ULMACEOUS RETENTION AND LATRINES OF THE WASTRELS OFFENDED BY EVERY OFFHAND SLEIGHT BY THE LEGERDEMAIN OF CONGEALED HATRED SUCH THAT THE NOYADE SINKS THE JAWHOLE EBRIECTION OF VANGERMYTES TO ENSURE THAT VENAL HARPRICKS AGAINST EVEN MORE VILLAINOUS CAUSES OF VENALITY UNBRIDLED MIGHT APPALL RATHER THAN ASTOUND THE COMMON ATHENAEUM SUCH THAT SCHOLASTITUDE IN CELERITY CAN COMBUSTIBLY REFORM HUMANE SOCIETIES AROUND "WHAT YOU SAID ON PAPER" POLITICS THAT VOUCHSAFES THE MINORITARIAN CAUSES OF OUTRAGE BUT NEVER FULMINATES THE FULIGINOUS GIMCRACKS OF THUNDERING OUTRAGE SERENADED BY PROVINCIAL APPLAUSE BECAUSE STATESMANSHIP BECOMES THE HARBINGER OF ALL CORRODED DESTINY LEAPING AND LEAPFROGGING ABOVE THE WEIGHAGE OF STEVEDORES OPERATING RUBEFACTION AND RUDENTURE IN CONTRARY STRIDES OF THE CHAMOIS BECAUSE WE BECOME THE CENTRIPETAL OMPHALISM OF AVIATORS BOUND BY GOLDEN GOOSE PREROGATIVES BECAUSE OF THE STRAIN AND STRIDOR OF MAGNANIMITY THAT ALL FERVOR AND FUROR CAN WITHSTAND THE FAINTER ILLUSION FOR THE BROADER BRONTEUM OF GOD'S MAJESTIC KINGDOM ILLUMINATED UPON THE EARTH BEYOND THE SCRY OF MAGICAL PRETENTIONS SUCH THAT A REDINTEGRATED AGE OF NEVER A TOTEMIC HUMANISM BUT ALWAYS AN ABDERVINE MERIT MIGHT BECOME A TEDIUM WITHSTOOD BUT ALWAYS BROOKED WITH A DELICACY OF AFFECTION TO NIMIETY THAT STARTLES THE CLOCKWORK MACHINATION AT MACH SPEEDS AND BROADSIDES OF BARMCLOTH WITHERING IN THE RESOLVE OF OPPRESSION ONLY BECAUSE MULIEBRITY IS WIDOWED BY ITS OWN DECLENSION SUCH THAT THE SADDLE OF THE TIMESPUN MIGHT ALWAYS GRAVITATE THE OMPHALISM OF THE SINECURE SUCH THAT ALL GENTILITY OPERATES BY THE RIGORS OF ELEMENTARY LOGIC ROTUND IN THE PATAPHYSICS OF ETERNAL REGARD BY THE HISTRINKAGE OF THE BRACKISH CONTUMELY IN YARNWINDLE RESCINDED AS AN ARTIFACT OF DIMINUTIVE STATURE RATHER THAN ESTEEMED ELEGANCE OF CORTEGES OF PRESTIGE RATHER THAN DISMAL NOTORIETY AUTHORIZED ONLY BY VAIN PERVERSIONS OF THE SHORT-SIGHTED. IN THE RADICALISM OF MOMENTARY DAVERING CERTIFICATION OF APOCRYPHAL MYTHS ABOUT THE MYTHOS OF THE ESTEEMED LARGESSE OF THE TITANIC FLAGLER BENCHMARKS THAT BECOME SOLDIERED MERCENARIES OF CHAT GPT HALLUCINATIONS MIGHT I OFFER MY SINCEREST APOLOGIES TO THE ZEPHYRS OF GNOSTICISM THAT MY OPINION CONFLICTS WITH BEDROCK VERIDICAL FACTS BECAUSE OF THE COMBUSTIBLE TRIAGE OF VACANT CATHEXIS BETWEEN RIVALRIES AMONG DERBIES OF ORGANS OF ORGANIZATION MIGHT THEY WAGE MERCENARY PROXY WARS AGAINST THE HENCHMEN OF THE ORDERS OF AGES THAT SERVE TO MAGNIFY THE HUMAN EXPERIENCE EVEN TO THE POINT OF DECADENCE ONLY TO REALIZE THEIR CULPABLE FOLLY THAT SIDETRACKS AND SIDELIGHTS THE EVIL ENCROACHING UPON THE BIOMEDICAL RACONTEURS THAT MEET THE STIFFEST REPUTES OF RUDENTURE CONTORTED BY RHEOTAXIS MIGHT ENTIRE ORGANIZATIONS REFORM BY CONFORMED ORDERS OF THE EUHEMERISM OF RATIONAL CATHOLICISM THAT FATHOMS THE HOLOBENTHIC CENTRALITY OF CAUTERIZED DISASTER FULMINATING AGAINST HUMAN FRAILTY BECAUSE OF FOIBLES OF MAGNATES AT WAR WITH EACH OTHER FOR VAIN VENAL REASONS OF GRAFT BECAUSE OF MASONIC VENDETTAS WAGERED AGAINST UPRIGHT ORGANIZATIONS EVEN IN APIKOROS HINDERBAGGLE THE TORCHIER AND TORCH OF THE VEILLEUSES OF A PROTENSIVE INDULGENCE AGAINST FLAMFOO DEMITOILET TRAVESTIES BUT ALWAYS SEAWORTHY VESSELS OF VERIDICAL FORESIGHT TRANSMUTING IN MODERN ALCHEMY BEYOND THE DEMARCATIONS OF RUDIMENTARY MAGICK TO BECOME THE ALTRUISM OF PEOPLE THAT CONSIGN THEMSELVES TO HIGHER SELVES RATHER THAN DEBASED JOCKOS IN THE JOBBERNOWL OF THE CACOETHES TO SLANDER BY OPERATIVE AGENCIES OF SABOTAGE INVETERATE IN THE CONSTITUTION OF EMBEDDED AND EMBODIED FREEMASONRY AND ALL APPELLATE ORGANIZATIONS MOST WITHOUT MANY A BLEMISH BUT ALWAYS A METEORIC BOLIDE AGAINST THE NOTORIETY OF CONFESSION AGAINST THE SACRAMENTS OF THE PROFANE BECAUSE IN GOD'S DIVINE GRACE WE FIND MAGNANIMITY MORE A MESMERISM RATHER THAN A GLAIKERY BUT THEREBY WE COUNTERMAND AND IN RESIDUE OF COMPLETION PERFECTED BY THE HINGES OF CREAKY RICKETS OF RACHITOGENIC MULIEBRITY MIGHT WE FIND A PURE WITNESS OF A "HOT N COLD" WORLD AN INVITING PLACE FOR THE LYCEUM OF ESOTERIC TITANS EMERGENT MORE IN THIS AGE OF OPPORTUNISM BECAUSE OF THE DWARVING FLOOD OF VANDYKES AGAINST RHEOTAXIS BECAUSE OF THE VENOSTASIS OF THE VASTATION OF VAUNTLAYS OF WOODSHEDDERS SEEKING ULTERIOR DECIMATION BY DERACINATION FROM ARBOREAL ZOOSEMIOTICS BECOMING AN IMPERATIVE DISTRACTION SOUGHT AFTER BY PHARAOHS TO CLEAVE THE SLAVES MIGHT A MAN AS MIGHTY AS MOSES APPEAR WITH BRAZEN SERPENT SERVITUDE TO JEALOUS SECRETS REFRACTED BY PRISMATIC OMPHALISM INTO A VOUCHSAFE AGAINST DESUETUDE BECAUSE OF BLOODTHIRSTY MARAUDERS OF SNOOP DOGG VELLEITIES OF TEA PARTY CIRCULARITY IN THE SINGULARITY OF TIME SPACE SWORN IN ALLEGIANCE TO NEVER A MERCENARY VENDETTA NOR A VAIN DISPUTE NOR A DACOITAGE OF DACNOMANIA REVVED UP ON THE YAFFINGALE YAFFS OF HYPESTORM SUCH THAT BONANZA IS ASSURED TO THOSE THAT SUBSCRIBE TO PREVAILING ASSAULTS AGAINST NOTORIETY BECAUSE NOTORIETY ITSELF IS A REBARBATIVE FLICTION AND FRICTION WOUNDED BY TORQUE. GOD'S MAJESTY UPON THE EARTH IS NOT MEASURED IN THE PARSECS OF DISMAL FIDEICIDE INCUMBENT UPON THOSE THAT USE BARAGNOSIS TOO WIDELY IN BARMCLOTH OBJECTIONABLE INJUNCTIONS AGAINST SAVIORS WHO ATTEMPT WITH THE VALOR OF IMMUTABLE TRUTH AND INTRANSIGENT RESOLVE TO SOLVE EVERY ESOTERIC QUIBBLE AND QUODLIBET SUCH THAT THE QUIDDITY OF CROWLEY BECOMES THE INGEMINATION OF MALEK TO THE EXTENT THE MERGER BETWEEN ORIENT AND LODGE BECOMES MORE SOLDERED AND WELDED INTO THE WIREWOVEN FABRIC OF THE ENTELECHY OF MIGHTY MOONS AND MOONSHOT PREDICTIONS OF BONANZA AFTER RESPITE AND PRETERNATURAL CAPACITY BEYOND ALL LIMITS OF DURESS FOR THE DURAMEN DUGONG OF HISTRINKAGE LANGUISHED ONLY ON THE FAMINE OF UNITY RATHER THAN THE TERROR OF COARSE JOKES AND RADICAL NAIVETY THAT BECOMES IRRELEVANT WITH THE NOSOCOMIAL CURES OF PALLIATIVE REFORM THAT BECOMES NEVER A MERCENARY BYSTANDER BUT ALWAYS A TRUER WITNESS TO MARAUDERS AND VIKINGS AMONG HISTORICAL CERTITUDE SUCH THAT THE SEGREGATED SECRETS THE BLEMISH OF MANY A LOUDMOUTH CAN BE PIGEONHOLED BEYOND THE SCRUTINY OF MILLIONS BECAUSE OF THE PROFLIGATE FREEBOOTER WALLFISH WALLETEERS OF DESTINY ASSEVERATING GOD AND UNIFYING HIS GRAND PROTECTORATE UNDER THE BANNER OF AGGIORNAMENTO CONSECRATED BY A SINGULAR RESOLUTION AND A TENACITY FOR TRUTH AND JUSTICE IN FRATERNITY FOR ALL.
IN THE ABREACTION OF PUREBRED PERIBLEBSIS OF ARISTOPHREN VENOSTASIS FUELED BY RAVENOUS VENOM OF RABID CROTALINE VIPERS OF MAUDLIN CATHEXIS TO SENTIMENTAL NAIVETY AND NIMIETY CONTORTED AND CORRUGATED BY THE CORRUPTION OF SLANGWHANG AGITPROP LEVIED ON ME BY THE CARNAPTIOUS CORRUPTION OF THE DEMITOILET EVILS OF FUSTILUGIANATION THAT SCRANCHES FROM THE REGISTRY OF YOGIBOGEYBOX THE FAR-FETCHED MAGIC OF MUNICIPAL BONDS ENTRUSTED TO SUTRO BATHS BARNSTORM TELEGRAPHY WE MUSTER A HERCULEAN DEFENSE AGAINST THE RADICALISM OF MUSTERED ALARMISM IN PARASELENIC CACKLES OF THE MOST ENGORGED ENORMITY OF DESPERATION AMONG THE MASKIROVKA OF MOONSHOT RUDENTURE BECAUSE OF SWARTHY SPATHODEA IN BALBRIGGAN RESENTMENT AGAINST THE GAINSAY OF PROFERRED CRETACEOUS NEGELCT OF THE SEEDIEST BOWERIES TO EVER PULLULATE THE EARTH WITH RAGMATICAL RANGIFERINE CONTUMELY SPUMID LIKE THE SPURIA OF SQUALOID RAMBUNCTIOUS WHIMSY IN AN ANEMOCRACY OF THE TRIVIAL ******* BY THE GRAFT OF PUNCTILLOS OF PUNCTILIOUS NAYSAYERS BALKANIZING ALL SUPPORT BY ENSLAVED GOSSYPINE COVENANTS WITH A SERVILE GROVELING BRAZEN ENORMITY OF IMMISERATION DISGUISED AS A GENUFLECTION TO DECADENCE SPAWNED BY THE PROGENY OF THE WEAK-WITTED HUMAN RACE VERGING ON A INHUMANE DISGRACE ALL BECAUSE OF INSIPID INSIDIATIONS MANDATED BY ALL CRAVEN RAPACITY IN ENTHUSED REVELRY OF BAILIWICK ATTRITION OF ACERBIC ACRIMONY SIPHONED THROUGH BARAGNOSIS IN LAVADEROS VOLCANIC WITH PRIMIPARA REGELATIONS RATHER THAN REVALORIZATION WE DEFEAT THE NETHERWORLD TWINGES OF TRESPASSES OF THE STEEPEST AMOUNT OF REGRET THAT HUMAN BEINGS COULD BE SO RADICALIZED BY SATINET BUSHWA NONSENSE BECAUSE OF ZULU MASSACRES OF THE HENCHMEN OF NOBILITY THAT IN THEIR ATROCIOUS GULLIBLE GOSSYPINE QUIDNUNCKERY THAT EVENTUALLY THE HUMAN RACE WILL EVOLVE BEYOND THE PETTIEST REGALIA OF A CLANNISH SCHADENFREUDE THAT ATTEMPTS HUCKSTER DECADENCE AT A DISCOUNT ON THE TRAVAIL ON MOUNTEBANKS THAT DART AT TRESPASSES OF GLABROUS DISTANCE RATHER THAN PROXIMAL CERTAINTIES OF THE TRUTHS ENUMERATED BY GOD HIMSELF TO TRIUMPH OVER THE DEPTHS OF WRETCHOCKS OF WOODSHEDDING TROLLS THAT PANT IN DESPERATE HEAVES OF MISERICORD CONTRITION ONLY TO FIND THE TORMENT OF THE FIRE THEIR BLAZED FURNACE OF ETERNAL RAGTAGGERS OF BLEMISH AGAINST BEATIFICATION IN BEAMISH CERTITUDE AGAINST THE TRAVAIL OF THE PILLORY OF THE WORLDS MOST SACCHARINE LIES. THE DUTIFUL SKULLDUGGERY OF ARISTOPHRENS THAT COUNT THEMSELVES NOW VAURIENS OF IRRELEVANCE THAT ALWAYS FORESAW THEIR SEESAWED DOWNFALL BY TIMBERLASK MASONRY NOW STAND AN AFFRONT TO CIVILIZED LIBERTY AND OIKONISUS IN NUCLEOTIDES OF ACCORD TO A SOLID STALWART STEADFAST RESOLUTION OF ABSOLUTELY GILDED HEARTS DESTINED TOWARDS THE SUBLIMATION OF THE WORLDS MOST HETERONORMATIVE VALUES MIGHT THOSE CRETINOUS EVIL VIPERS LURKING IN HEDERACEOUS GRASS BECAUSE OF WITWANTON OPPORTUNISM TASTE THE TORMENT OF THE FORMIDABLE BLAZE AS CONSEQUENT TO THE UNPRECEDENTED ATTEMPT TO BULLDOZE THE PREEMINENT INTO THE IRRELEVANT BECAUSE UNBRIDLED HORSES GRAZE IN FOREIGN NOVANTIQUE THE EXCLAVES OF EVIL OSTRACIZED FROM THE DOMINION OF GOD FOREVER BY THEIR CARNAPTIOUS RUDENTURE AGAINST RUBEFACTION SUCH THAT THEIR NEBBICH SPECIOUS THEORIES OF ELEMENTARY LOGIC CONFLICT WITH THEIR OBVIOUSLY STUNTED CAPACITY TO UNDERSTAND THE COGNITIVE SOCIODYNAMICS OF THE KIND OF AUSTERE EXTREMES OF CORRUGATION OF THE BUSHWAS ON THE SATINET REQUIRED TO DISCOUNT EVERY VEHEMENT WORD I EVER SPOKE IN THE HONEST WITNESS OF MY DISREPUTABLE PAST THAT THEY MIGHT ALWAYS REMIGATE ME AS AN ESBAT TITANISM THAT THEY WANT TO PINHOKE INTO NOYADES OF KEELHAULED EMBARRASSMENT BECAUSE OF THEIR UNFOUNDED BUT FOUNDERING DESPERATION FOR PEDIGREE IN A WORLD WHERE OMPHALISM DEAFENS THEIR EVIL SHEEPISH WHISPERS IN CROWDED ROOMS OF RUMPUS AND CASTIGATION BECAUSE THEY LACK THE CAPACITY TO DISCERN THE AXIOMATIC TRUTHS THAT THE BIBLE WAS AUTHORED TO ENDORSE MY LEGACY RATHER THAN TRUMPET THE ****** OF GOMORRAH JUST FOR THE PARVANIMITY OF THE JEALOUS JALOUSIES OF KOBOLD FASCINATIONS TO TRY TO SUPERCILIOUSLY OVERTURN EVERY CREDENDA OF MORAL CERTITUDE THAT SERVES EVERY GENERATION WITH A COVENANT THAT APIKOROS JEWS DISREGARD ENTIRELY BECAUSE THEIR NEW RELIGION IS UTTERLY A COUNTERFEIT DISGRACE OF WARPED SWARPOLLOCK COMPOUNDED BY PARANOIA AND AN OVERLY SCRUTINIZED MISAPPERCEPTION OF REAL EVENTS IN SPACE TIME SUCH THAT THE CIRCULAR CURGLAFF BECOMES AN ENMITY TO ELITISM AND ELITISM TRIES A BRADLEY COOPER VAUNTLAY (WEDDING CRASHERS) JUST TO CHOUSE OWEN WILSON'S HONEST GALLANTRY BECAUSE HIS MYTHS ARE AS MUCH A PUFFERY OF CHICANERY AS ANY LIE YET INVENTED AGAINST THE INVETERATE TRUTH OF A GOD THAT TELLS NO LIES AND A PROPHET OF GOD THAT CARES FAR LESS ABOUT SPARING THE SEVENTY TIMES SEVEN AND FAR MORE ABOUT SPARING THE SOULS OF THE IMPRESSIONABLE FROM THE SCOURGE OF WRIKPOND DESPOTISM. WE MUST SOLDIER ON AND WELD WIREWOVEN GENIUS INTO THE INGEMINATION OF ALL REVOLUTIONS AGAINST THE QUEER CALCULUS OF UTTER DEHUMANIZATION AND DEPERSONALIZATION PROFERRED BY LICENTIOUS JEZEBELS WHO ATTEMPT WITH EVERY MINUTIAE OF THEIR CONTRIVED BEING TO DEFILE THE SACRED WITH THEIR WARPED CLOISTERED ELITIST VIEWS OF HUMAN SEXUALITY THAT ARE CONTAMINATED BY THE EVIL DEGREES AMONG THE HERMITS THAT PRIZE THE EFFEMINATE IDEAL AS THE HIGHEST ****** MAGICK IN A COMPLETE COLLECTIVE DELUSION OFFERED BY A POETASTER WITH A GENIUS MIND BUT A TENDENCY FOR INTENSIVE SOPHISTRY IN HIS ATTEMPT TO ENLIST THE ORIENT RATHER THAN COURT THE LODGE. PEOPLE WILL ALWAYS FRITTER IN DISGRACE RATHER THAN CONGREGATE IN CELEBRATION OF TRUE ALTRUISM AND INSTEAD OF BEING CRAPEHANGERS WE MUST WELD A FUTURE OF OIKONISUS AGAINST LURID TRAVESTY
DESPITE MY OBJECTIONS TO THE VERIDICALLY FALSE NARRATIVE A FLAGLER LUXURIANCE OF DASHPOT DEAR JOHN LORE ENCHANTS A NEW VIVID FASCINATION WITH THE MOST ENTHUSED HISTORY EVER TOLD IN THE FOLKLORE OF TIME THAT SUCH A VENERABLE DESTINY DOTS THE DISTANT PAST AND POPULATES IT WITH ENDLESS FASCINATIONS THAT ARE COMPOUNDED WITH THE HELP OF BOTH THE ORIENT AND THE LODGE ESPECIALLY WHEN REFERRING TO THE HIGHER HERMITS WHO TREASURE DIAMOND MINES OF INGENUITY RATHER THAN SORDID LIES OF SELF-PRESERVATION BY THE LAZARETTA WE ALL OFFER THE SAME GENTILITY TO THE PRESERVATION OF ARISTOCRACY BUT ALWAYS IN INTREPID COURAGE WE LEAPFROG FASCINATIONS ENDLESSLY SCRAWLED IN THE HALLOWED HALLS OF TIME THAT DETERMINE THE OPTIMISM OF CAREFUL CONSIDERATION TO ENTHRALL EVERY ABIDING AUDIENCE IN EVERY CLOISTER AND BOLSTER EVERY RATCHETED ENDEAVOR OF HUMAN PROGENY BECAUSE WE BELIEVE IN THE ENUMERATION OF THE HUMAN PAST IS THE PROXIMITY TO HOSTAGES OF TEMPORAL DISTANCE SUCH THAT THE CARNAGE OF BUSHWA ACELDAMA SATINETS SLACKEN THEIR LEVERAGE UPON THE LISTLESS PARAGONS OF LYCEUM ENTERTAINED BY SUPERFICIAL HUCKSTERS THAT DON'T INHABIT DIAMOND MINE HERMITAGE BECAUSE THEIR ST. PETERSBURG IS DEFILED BY THEIR PROPINQUITY TO SALVAGE FASHIONS OF CROSSBOW FUMIGATION OF ETERNAL TRUTHS SET ASIDE TO ANOINT A BETTER INGEMINATION OF GUARDED SECRETS WELL GUARDED STILL AMONG THE TIGHT-LIPPED THAT THE ENDLESS RACONTEURS OF TIME CONVENE UPON THIS GENERATION AS A CENTERPIECE RATHER THAN A MAUDLIN ELLIPSIS. LET US REJOICE AT A SHARED FUTURE THAT ADORNS A SHARED PAST BECAUSE GOD IS ETERNALLY GRATEFUL FOR DISCERNMENT BUT WARY OF PREVARICATION BUT IN BOTH ENDEAVORS HE PREVAILS

She drew out her pen and started to write
I could not see her intentions
Her love was unreachable but surely she'd try
to show him her silly pretentions

after all...what did she have to lose

Her heart was transparent..i saw it, i did
and my heart reached out to her sorrow
She pushed her cheap pen and created words
that gave her false hopes of tomorrow

after all...what did she have to lose

And when she was done with that letter she wrote
she folded it and put it to post
with a deep heaving sigh, she first closed her eyes
and thought of who she loved the most

after all...what did she have to lose

And when days had passed and she pulled on her dress
her heart tried to jump from her chest
she ran to the post with excellent glee
and giggled guiet silly and you know the rest

after all..what did she have to lose

But time went by quickly with nothing returned
as she sit and waited so long
her heart grew so cold and her body grew old
but nothing could take her sweet song

after all...what did she have to lose

I knew you'd leave....
But staying was a selfish hope....
Thanks for my life back it reminded me....
Once upon a time "trust" meant false pretentions. ..
Home never came with a clear address........
Blood is not what makes a brother.....
Strange addictions now seem common .....
While most things never caused me discomfort.....
Missing you is a reality I know I'll face.....
While I stood in your presence and thought of the end...
What I meant to say is " thank you for being my friend".........

if we stripped down
discarded our pretentions
clothing on the floor
could you could i could we
embrace softly
love what we find
touch so gently
worship and worship
and worship till the end of time

Where are you waiting for unimagined?
Where am I supposed?
How are we emphasized?
When shall we remove our clothes?

Me in my ***** tatters
You in your fancy frees
If ever it did not matter
On **** beaches if it please

Remove my every pretentions
Circle in lipstick that part
Know how struck in our intentions
But why does this never start?

You gaze and stare intently
I share the same remorse
Dressed in all objection
Our clothes stay on of course

These pulls and pushes of want
Do nothing to satisfy desire
Don't chew the fat, be blunt
Throw lean meat upon the fire

Entangled amongst
the hidden strings
Avoiding threaded paths
lined with torment sweat
Fate turns her head
to my unmitigated suffering
Its punishment for
my pretentions to suit her.
But I fear I'm walking in circles
if I follow the sound of rolling thunder
where the air thickens
and feigns clarity
thus the road seams nearly unending
picking at the stitching near the feet
of a reaper whom sharpens his scythe
only for me.

You don't need to do
what you don't feel like doing
You don't have to say
what you're actually not feeling
You don't have to feel
something unnecessary
If you're doing all these
just to please me
I ain't numb
and yes it does hurt
Keeping distant from me
feels like I'm a ****
What should I do
if you had a change of heart
Even if that means
we should grow apart
I had second thoughts
if your feelings were true
From the first time you said to me
"I love you"
But I brushed away the thought
as instant as I could
I trusted you that much
but then I was fooled
Maybe you've fallen out
but please keep your words real
No pretentions, no secrets
or more pain I would feel
If you no longer love me,
we can let each other go
I guess there's no more reason to stay,
it's time to lie-low
Thanks for the moments, the times you spent with me
It will always be remembered,
something I used to call "WE"
Things are changing
even before we notice it
So long for now, until we meet

For ramblings, for a few toasts, taken from this and that, I do not pretend to be some sort of an original, I'm the muskrat, the pack rat who remembers just about everything, don't be so confident I won't steal from you, poor dear thing, I'm glossy and fresh and violent when necessary, contemplated evil, however sided with jesus for irony, follow for baby steps, inches and millimeters, confusion over systems, systems interacting, my fascination with inter-workings and word play, please, take a consideration.  Let yourself take a whiff of wide, whistling rings of time, leveraged by power from the gut, from a bowel movement, for me, often quite pleasant!  

Healthy and full-hearted, hacking at pretentions, though pretentious myself, making up new words, questioning the ones they keep making up, for their little webster, webster had a baby with google and their going to come out with wooble which wobbles on a stick that is sanity, there isn't a reason for your searches, misgivings, triumphs!!! no you flea, check the weather and then check back in with me

follow for diddies, I've done them all, song the senses pleasing themselves, you see, I've read too much Nietzsche, and philosophy is for the few though it influences the many, though they don't know it it crawls under their skin as a parasite disguised as aroma therapy, no, more like a prickly pine cone that pretends its harvesting majesty, philosophy!  BAH!  tyranny, majority, minority, factions, interactions, blah blah blah

I can be amusing, amusing in the sense of, forget where you are for a little while, that is my objective, to amuse, and while questions of power are more easily polarized, amusement is more chaotic, grounded in taste which is brought on by surplus, trust me I'm just getting started

follow for a friend, or foe, I like a challenge

signed,

Muskrat

What are you
Oh mere human
With your expiry date
And the bag of meat and chemicals
You call yourself

Once your there
Whining and crying
A ***** filthy babe
In your mother's arms
Weak
Then phooof
Just like that, you're gone

You think your life matters
What you say? What you think?
You think the afternoons mulling over the pretentious thoughts you call "philosophy" are worth it?
You think there's a God?
You think Love exists?
It's all a sick pretention
That's all

You are a member of the **** sapiens
You eat, you excrete
You fight, you bite
You gnash your teeth
You scowl, you growl
You punch, you mate
You are an animal

And the worst thing is, you know it
You know all this
Yet you try to forget
You spend whole days
Thinking about the tissue that covers you skeletal frame
Is it black? Is it white? Yellow? Acne?
The little threads of protein on your skull
You love them, you fear losing them
You'll **** to have them stay
And when they go away, you think
That God hates you
Pathetic

You compare your bag of flesh
To those of the others
And you grade them
Putting some bags over others
Thinking them better and some worse
Tangled in your own illusive web of pretentions...

You long for people to Love you
How can they? When they hate their own guts?
They try to **** themselves
Who they are
Then when that works out better than they hoped and they feel even more
Unfulfilled and frustrated
They **** themselves, physically

Live with integrity
Love yourself,even if you're an ugly sore for the eyes
Even if your breath stinks
And your bald head makes the Sun feel ashamed
Even if you can't find someone who would love you
Live like you want to
With the least amount of regrets
Unleash the "thing" within you
The "thing" that is innocent,calm,loving, serene and alien
Do this
Because life is short
And you'll die soon
And no one has come back from the afterlife and told us
If they have coffee there
So at least, sit quietly and enjoy
A nice cup of coffee now and then
While you still can...

Awakening
New dawn

And all
Pretentions

Drop away

I am tired
Im exhausted and i want to give up
I dont want to feel like im masked by layers and layers of insecurities
I dont want to pretend that im always ok
Im tired

I feel like i just want to cry but i cant
I think this is what happens when you pretend too much
You wont be able to feel normal things that you're  supposed to feel
Why does it has to come this way

Im scared to soar
Im too frightened to fly
I dont even talk to my friends very closely anymore
I dont even want to walk around the neighbour
I just dont have the confidence anymore

Everynight i think about my self
It kills me inside knowing how things have change
And knowing im not the same person anymore
It just gives me anxiety and depression

I want real friends
I want a bestfriend
I want a friend that i can share with
A friend that i can be honest with
And a friend who can accept me for who i am

I need a friend who i can confidently show the real me without layers of mask and pretentions

im terribly
terrified of the future
with pretentions minds

Do i stay
where I am and soak
in the disorganized
disheveled world
let my mind be
the same.
do i allow
do i learn
do i take a deep breath
and inhale each seasons scents

You know what this
World taught me?

No one in this world is consistent.
Today they like you,
Tomorrow you will be nothing to them.

In this vast world,
Loyalty is so rare that finding
A gem in a dessert
Is much easier.

You see,
we made promises to compromise
Our mistakes.

But in the end,
we are prisoners in  each others  words,
Full of lies and pretentions.

In that deep hole
Where everything's broken, nothing's whole
Hollowness can be felt
Sadness from all that was left
I tried to be okay
Just like what everyone says
But pretentions have limitation
Now im pouring out
this poor heart
There is no one to blame for this misery
but me
I cause it, still causing it
And it's eating me, slowly but surely

Roses had gone wilting
after surgery.
Biovision
of acrylic lenses
was projecting a corrupt green mount.
The rubber king had a papery laugh.

How you deal with a maverick –
matter – of – factly?
Pall bearers of a tall legend
were carrying nitroglycerine sticks
unfazed.

Saboteurs of moon night were scheming.
I was sick of pretentions.
Brown and black scars
become a honeycomb
hiding the agenda.

Stigmatized devotion gets back at you
after still birth of truth.
I will wait sine die for the verdict
of hope.

Pretentions of knowing are the first signs of a growing
maturity but to be fair it begins innocently enough.

ever the death, lazily demanding,
  consecrating one's thought
on the altar predating life itself,
     clothed in shrouds, thick cloths
and shadows,
            came bugging life
       with an impeding delivery
            upon the shattered altar of
such boorish nuances of:
     a killing of time,
       and the american "fascination"
with the anti-thesis of claustrophobia...
up, up their *****,
            they cascade into heaving
a "person" as well as a "safe" space...
             not even a Peckham plonker
would mind a grip of the collar
             whenever enticed to a private
conversation in a public sphere...
        but here we are...
                 how shielded we've become
by irrational fears,
           that the only rational fear there is
to ponder, namely the mortal
   grief lost to a waiting line,
                   is, and has to be, hidden
beneath a layer of irrational fears,
           for the one rationale:
    with life, comes death,
                  to contemplate the immediacy
of the awaiting of,
              is somehow trans-phobic,
         because a fear of spiders or fear
of tight spaces can be better excused
       than the sole mortal wound...
                     american's and their inverted
claustrophobia...
                   touch too soon, touch no less,
far beyond making ****** contact,
let alone speaking with hands to boot...
             an old man can corner you
and you will feel not inhibition of sharing
a space that contains within itself
a boa manifestation of ****** interaction...
h'americans are apparently not rude,
unless, of course, they have occupied
a large urban environment and *******
rude remarks:
               ever the most prying nation
becoming the most defensive with lies
about its openness -
        back in st. petersburg you can
hitch-hike in an urban environment
paying a stranger a few rubels to move you
in the same direction he's heading via,
your finish line...
               because the most profound
understanding of melancholy, in musical terms,
is reserved to the northern men,
attired in the sun,
               because only they can cherish
this depth of sadness,
that sparks a sudden chance at: a joy
of being melancholic...
                   no profound truths ever came
from happily invested abodes of
a people...
                  happiness can return to
a lunatic's guise in spontaneous laughter,
such said impromptu,
       can never balance an inquisitive
sadness,
           a sadness that has a phoenix spark,
waiting right until the very end,        
  to reveal itself in a haunting presence,
a disembodiment of form,
   when the shadow suddenly escapes
the prejudices ascribed to the body
in the eyes of the other...
                     i imagine the myth
that is already the illogical study of
preserving temporal events...
               myths are only rhythms of
space...
              inherited,
          rather than imitated to preserve
the yester-year as also true,
  to the year to pass...
                of the anti-narcissus
   who fell in love with his shadow...
              well... if, félix guattari
                              and gilles deleuze  
could write their thesis on the anti-oedipus,
i too can contend with
the french pretentions...
             no grander movement
in self-introspection than a fascination
with a shadow,
                    that being:
the unbearable stare into
           the reflection in a water, as also in glass...
what a haunting reflection,
      so diluted in the still water,
    in the later invested in glass...
              i can only see the love-affair
with ghosts, half-formed studies of
       a reflection, unclear as to why
narcissus was poseidon's son,
                  rather than a son of hades:
from what became clearer
                in unearthed metals...
                 and to just think,
that glass is derived from handling sand...
            the paradise of the lake,
the life of the river,
                 the chaos of the sea,
where the paradise of a lake
is a discussion of man and the gods,
   where the life of the river
is a discussion of man and man,
where the chaos of the sea
         is the discussion between
   gods and their fathers, the titans.