Someone you laugh with in any moment of joy
Someone who always makes playtime better than playing alone
Someone you may playfight and wrestle with
Someone you'll always have to catch and throw ***** with in any sport
Football, basketball, baseball all these sports are never meant to be played alone
Even though one can always toss and throw the ball to one self
It will never be the same without another face to throw it to in the yard
No matter the weather, my days are always better seeing you, playing with you, running with you, laughing with you, joking with you but more importantly keeping the love I have for you in my heart no matter where you are
I'll miss you my brother, my friend because even though your gone my love for you will never end

Have you ever been in love with the thought of someone
I just recently figured out that I was
if these signs flash red in your head  save yourself some time and break up with your mind
Here are some warnings that you are falling in love with a preconceived idea instead of the physical real deal
I can daydream for hours about what we can be together
Conversations come easy in my mind
he always seems to know what im thinking and i always laugh at his jokes
He's all i can think about and i wish for every second to be spent by his side
I wonder what he's doing at the moment and can't help but wonder if he's thinking about me too
We playfight and laugh for hours he tackles me onto the bed
We fall asleep watching our favorite movies and wake up to bagels and coffee
We talk about our favorite books and roam the streets of New York
We're the happiest couple in the city and it radiates for miles

My daydream is cut short by my doorbell
It's him at the door
I open it excited to feel again
I am greeted by your face but your smile doesn't make my heart race
You come in for a hug but it's nothing but an empty embrace
We grab snacks turn on a movie but it's not how I pictured it
Our conversations seem to be scripted
Every touch feels like an obligation
We fall asleep to avoid each others distance
We wake up to bagels and coffee
But my favorite book isn't the same as yours
Your favorite song comes on but it makes me cringe
The distance between us feels larger
And it projects through the busy streets of the city life
I realize that I'm not in love with you
I never have been
It's really not you
It's me
Really and my crazy distorted mind
The one that is too imaginative and wishful for me to tame
I need to cut this off
Us
Me
Most importantly
My exaggetory hopeless romantic mind

i hated him at first.
he was short and annoying and stole my book from my table during english so i hated him.
that was how easy it was at age eleven to decide how you feel.

but we became friends, very good friends, actually. he was still short and annoying, but so was i, so we decided it was okay. he was the only boy who would still playfight with me even though i was a girl, and i was glad that at least somebody didn't treat me differently, dangerously. i was glad i stopped hating him.

we were playfighting once, right before first bell, when he jabbed at me and i forgot to move and he got me in the eye. it was an accident and i yelped in pain and he held my head like puppies do, im so sorry and are you hurt and i didn't mean it falling from his mouth quicker than i could tell him i was okay. there is a single bloodshot line perpendicular to my right iris, seven years later.

in year nine he dated the girl i had a crush on. it lasted two months and he sent her a christmas card after the break up, laden with curses and swears and wishes for a terrible new year. she showed everyone, even the teachers, and laughed at his immaturity. i asked him why he did it. he said he didn't know. i told him it made him look stupid. he didn't tell me anything back.

he dated my best friend in sixth form. she said she was relieved i was gay, or else she would be insecure. i spent two years hearing her stress of whether he wanted her, and i began to hate him again. she begged me not to speak to him about it. if he thought that she had ruined my friendship with him, she said, he would get mad. i said nothing. we stopped playfighting.

he texted me a year before their final break up. he told me he wanted to cut it off, but she kept threatening to **** herself. i told him he had done enough and it was time to walk away. he thanked me and told me he missed me. they got back together three months later.

they broke up after nearly four years of on and off. he abused her. he spiked another girl's drink. he let his friends assault women he was dating and told them they were crazy to be upset about it.

he's named for the angel. somewhere in my heart i think he can still be good, but i know that love is for a boy long dead. the man that wears his face is someone i never want to be near. he was always good to me, and it made it hard to hate him. i don't like being the exception. it leaves a terrible taste in my mouth.