I enter into tunnel vision with each drop of wetness hitting the pavement sounding like a different note on a grand piano each key softly splashing and misting away into obvlivion the lucky ******* and I just sit here in my sin again until my friend saves me and digs me up from underneath whatever it is today that is covering me up whatever it so happens that I have had enough of to tip the scales of fate in favor of bubbling fizzing alcoholic waste and so I pace wondering what changed what gave my brain permission to become entagled with my heart because it certainly wasn't me or the essence of what is me or what character I pretend to be or what my ego thinkgs I would like to be and I love you this I know outside the group effort that tries to trick me that they're me and even they sometimes have to get on their knees on chorus of yes she is amazing but they always follow it up with a she's too good for the real me you really ought to just set her free and spare her misery and grief and thus therefore I have not talked to God very much lately and I'm struggling with my spirituality like all these things that I have attached myself to and held on to over the span of my lifetime has continuously been proven incomplete or false entirely and I'm green now because I'm jaded and I hate it because I feel as if my passion is dwindling at best in all aspects and it's frustrating and such a ******* mess emotionally and again I drink and it's not because of you it's me or maybe more accurately it is something that has been desperately trying to **** me the only problem is that I am not as weak as it thinks and when I have a best friend that is always at ringside with me I'm always in the battle and I will not quit I will not give up even when I'm in tremendous peril and the fact that I might be sterile is like a microcosm of my life in general where I want a family and a wife and kids more than anything yet the alcoholism makes me not the most eligable bachelor and of course socially sterile like a ***** in jerusalem I sing my hymn of loneliness wanting to connect with Him but feeling inaqequate in sin

A young man sits in deep
contemplation, plotting to
escape her clutches.

She beckoned, and he
couldn't refrain.

Now he's entrapped, serving
his dark lorde. Not as glamorious
and not as it has promised.  

What used to be his
refuge is now the leach,
draining him dry.

He came as the archer,
now he's leaving an empty
shell, void of any emotion
and sentaion.

starting  as pain,
turning into pleasure,
leaving him....

Beaten

Broken

Shattered

Numb

The breast that once
nourished, is now the ***,
tantalizing cracked lips, and burning
ones throat. Over and over until
one has drinken into obvlivion.

Though he is forever in her debt,
his heart and soul still show promise.

What has been devoured has not yet
been killed.

Hand in hand, she turns to
see his eyes veer.

The darkness may have striked,
but of the countless it has
consumed, the odds of him
prevailing fair pretty well.