i always told myself i wouldn't be the same person as my mother,
yet here i am, suffering from yet another ******* hang over.
i was proud to avoid all this **** for such a long time,
but now i can't keep my nose away from any offered line.
always finding boys to love me that have access to narcotics,
i say i want to fix them up, but thats just my hypnotics,
a clever ploy to let myself believe i'm doing something right,
when really i just can't seem to let the drugs leave my life.
many men have come to try and sweep me off my feet,
but when the going gets too good, i push 'em to the street.
not ready to let go of all my self-destructive ways,
even though i beg myself to change this every day.
i know sometime, i'll wake up and be ready to be clean;
some day i will find a way to wash myself of this gene,
because i swear, i was better when i was still a teen,
back when i was obvlious to the feeling of being a fiend.
i know i have the strength to help myself at any point,
but i haven't had a day where i could turn down a joint.
i keep reminiscing of the days where i was doing better,
but i'm still the only one whose saying "don't let her".
i'll carry on in the same way that i have been for years,
try to take it day by day until i defeat my addict fears,
i'll escape the boys that keep me with my wicked ways,
and find myself happy when i can reach those sober days.
