i. throw away the three boxes of
incense sticks that burn your eyes
when lit. When your father asks
you where they went,
tell him,
they’re a firehazard.

ii. before you board the bus, rush
to the bathroom. dump out the
mi sao your mother made
for you.
repack with lunchables and fruit roll-
ups. hide your wooden chopsticks.

iii. rip the buddha necklace off
your chest. with the imprint of the fat
man digging into your left palm, raise
your right hand and shout, “I’M NOT
A BUDDHIST. my mother was.” to the peers
think all Asians are Buddhists and
all Buddhists are Asian.

iv. When they ask you why ‘Vy’
rhymes with ‘bee’ and not ‘my’,
tell them that Vietnamese and
English are two different
languages. But remember to
apologise for the inconvenience.
Look forward to this question for
the rest of your life.

v. If a substitute asks, “Sorry
if I pronounce this
wrong but is Vy [rhyme with
eye] here?” Do not duck
beneath your desk. Do not
correct them. Tighten your lips
into a smile, look them in the
eye and raise your hand,
"here."

vi. avoid going shopping with
your parents, they will ask you to
bargain with the cashier on
how the lettuce ball s a bit too
small to cost three dollars, and
that they should take off a
dollar. when you refuse, they will
try to communicate in broken
English.
this is your cue to wait out front.

vii. when graduation day comes
and your entire family wants to
attend,
say no. it is not important.
it is important. but your
grandmother will tell everyone that
you are the first, to step foot
into college. avoid
this embarrasssment by telling them
graduation is cancelled.

viii. instead of taking pictures with
your “fresh off the boat” family,
borrow Kelly Tran’s, whose
parents are hip and cool and let
her speak English
at home.

ix. are you Chinese?
no

x. are you Japanese?
no

xi. are you Korean?
no

xii. Are you Asian?
…yes

xiii. what kind of Asian are you?
Vietnamese
… American

xiv. You are not Vietnamese-
American. there is nothing
American about you except your
citizenship.

xv. make sure you choose the
furthest college away from home,
where your mother won’t be able
to send you white rice and
kimchi, among other foods that
your white roommate can’t pronounce.

xvi. no matter where you go,
someone will ask you to “say
something in your language”
they say
"your language"
because one,
they don’t know what language
you speak, two,
they don’t know how to
pronounce it. they just
assume you speak one
besides English.

xvii. when your mother calls
while you have company over
and asks,
"con co nho me khong?", pretend
you don’t understand. take a
glance at the people around you
and firmly reply, “mom i’m
busy. i’ll call you later.” lace it
with enough conviction to fool
wandering ears but with less
compassion so that your mother
knows not to stay up late past three waiting.

xviii. tan your skin, bleach your
hair, forget your native tongue.
remember the boys who leer,
grabbing their crotch, whispering in
your ear, “i’ve got yellow fever,
can you cure me?”

xix. stand in front of the mirror.
open youtube and search, “how
to get rid of an Asian accent”
because no matter how western
you look, your mouth will speak
"duh girl likes pissa" instead of
"the girl likes pizza".

**. schedule a plastic surgery
appointment, fix your nose, jaw,
and monolid eyes. people will
try to stop you, “you are perfect
the way you are! there is no one you-
er than you!” laugh at them.
inform them, “the looks of me is
not what society want people to be.”

xxi. pick up the phone. dial
home. hang up. do this five
times. after the fifth, you will
have convinced yourself that you
don’t miss them. it is just the
alcohol talking.

xxii. before you sign up for this
read the fine print. in addition to
losing your identity, you will lose
yourself. becoming a child of
corrporate America is as easy as it
seems. you just have to let go of
your humanity.

radioahead is on now and now its going what theeeeeeeee
ooho noi ** oh boh oh nho  hnoh ooh oh nhoo
whrejhrhehrehrherhehrehrhehre
whwhrahhwerhehrheh
worafdhajrd­jfldfjadjfkadjkja

YEAHHHHHH


UGHHHHH

SECOND COMINNG SEACOND COMING SECOND COMING

no no no no no no no

I had a revelation on the train
GOD has revealed himself
he hides behind flirtation with death
oh he hides
and the music
keeps going
and I have nothing
but the vibrancy of youth golden locked golden key that turns but I am a clumsy troll on top of a mountain, clumsy troll on top of the mountain wearing a frowny face, frowny face

and he drops his giant club in the ground
to sob and cry
because he couldn't get
his soup and wine
oh no
NFJNFODIJFAJDOJFAIDFJAIDJFAJDaf
dfaDOfjafjdf
a
fdjf
adjjf
adjf
j­jaf
dfjafaj
adfa


AFFJAFFAHHHAHHAHHAHHAHHAHAHAaaAHEe
r

herh
heR­RHEHRW WEEEE GOOOOO

lets go goleto glkegoetleeoaerj
doa
fj
dlfja
lfdjk;
fja
k;jf
dfja
df
j
af
aAHNND­ONEEE EODNEEE GONEEE ALLLLL

SPOILED

HES" wearbing a frowny face he's wearing a frowny face
he's crying because he's left to the mountain
in this video game world
press b
press b
press b
press b
press b
press b

****-take mushroom & ZZ muffintop
Midnight Mini Stirrings
Stank *****
Farta fartus stuffed
Stank ***** toot morass ed. Kamikaze! Breaking divine wind
Darkmatter meseeks
Dubh black dove
******* city
Dead beat deity
The shipyard - hindquarters
Erotici, inquisition, questionable greek behaviours, 20 questions of sexytime
"Έλληνες”— Hellenes not all Greek to them
Lokas of Control
Ayo shorty, el shaddai
Blodiau flowers
Veer to where we look - the human body vessel
Empath/Narcissist Identification Battle
Boning a FROG
Self-save spiritual checkpoint
Phi-low-so-phi's lodestone powerbottom beastmode
It is se on. Super se on
Lumatic highway
Hippos, whales and guinea pigs, whoop science.
Cymraeg comerades
Is it actually pleasing a person, the people or is it just complex placation?
Arose from the dead the re-in-carnation
Can't find your sol-song singing somebody else's words, relatability doesn't mean originality, cover songs still deviate, bring newness, otherwise it's just a rendition.
"Past life" knowledge doesn't excuse ignorance of this existence, stories change, or maybe were never comprehended to begin why it passed instead of kept...
Why? R U ikigai?
Late Game Strategy
'Ohelo papa = hawaiian strawberry
Kyrios or kurios (Ancient Greek: κύριος, romanized: kū́rios) is a Greek word that is usually translated as "lord" or "master". Curios-city
Military Swinging
Thic phuc tap, like complicated
Cheating for leaderboard status just confuses
Animal crossing guilt lording trainer
Playing highlander with scarecrow... still losing, dummy thicc
Moose will pu. Svenga kuin hirvi.
Iphimedeia - thirsty crotch, seawater4poisideon
Great big mari sea horse
Sartanistic evolution leaves crabby animals
Mustakala kalmari
Every year it rains fish lluvia de peces en loro
Lackey, lost their chi, the key, the qi
Nyawww nho little
Elementary school, deities in the basics, dirt bodies, aetheric breath, water flow, fire chest/divine spark
Dubh snake moana
Aleph tau indicative of spirit soul, not faux alpha ommegid, cyclical abuser and gaping *******
That's Cap!
Robert's Stafford, friar tuck'd, made a mary out of men
Femme bots and gay frogs are like **** mosquitos
ascended self-mastery not ***-ended self master bait story
Cuckoos & Cowbirds
Invasive self-replicating mutant lobster-like creatures
Marmorkrebs have arrived into ontario
Harwell Dekatron
Dome is slick circulation system - vector curve argument heats up
Ich ky, selfish
Polish this Hungarian milk is klingon scientist - tej, thats french, jeter dumped it/threw it down my trivial extensible job-submission
Toki, usagi, konijn, tho, shasha/shosho, coney
War Tortle & A Half Shiell'd Maiden legend of zelva
Minogame, Chelona, Teknosbeka
Jigglypuff's song - tone, support, attempts
Orchestration, blue whales & summer of salmon hats
lend me your external auditory meatus
Llama glama
Persian carpet flatworm esque ****** fencing alpha omeggids for dominance
Lies and thievery need other people, stay in own lane means more success.
repeated bout effect - can learn almost anything with normalization, but why?
Queen Tyra. KeyRa.
Silvas & Kin - forests & gold
Zena warrior princess
Here kai di kai di
Air bhioran = Scottish gaelic excited
Address and listen to the man
Paying damages vs. Demonstrating repentance with bonus joy
Dzieki polish apppreciation, dzjinke czech out this djinn, jinkies, scoobie!
Velma willhelmet wilhelm william
Shalom implies wholeness
A shiva, a she ra, aethera
Win-win-wind condition

Fibula Dragula bone placement