1
the Emir has it in his head he is a poet
and the Emir invites Nasrudin
to an assembly
and the Emir recites his poem
with much ado,
with much loudness and gestures

everyone applauds the Emir
for his poem
but Nasrudin is quiet
and the Emir turns to Nasrudin and says:
“So, Nasrudin – what do you think
of my poem?”

“Sir,” says Nasrudin
“What you recited is not a poem
and neither does it make you a poet”

“Guards!”
screams the Emir
“Take this man Nasrudin
and put him in jail!
Three months let him be there!”

2
Three months pass
and Nasrudin is released
and is invited again by the Emir
to another of the Emir’s recitations
and again the Emir recites his poem
with much ado,
with much loudness and gestures

and again everyone applauds the Emir
for his poem
but Nasrudin says nothing and stands up
and walks towards the guards
and the Emir shouts at Nasrudin:
“Nasrudin – where do you think
you are going?”

And says Nasrudin:
“Sir – I’m saving you the trouble;
I’ll send myself to jail…”

1
Psst! Nasrudin! Pssst!
says the neighbor
at the doorway;
Nasrudin looks down from his roof
where he's fixing some tiles
and sees his neighbor in the street

Yes? Nasrudin asks

Come down, Nasrudin;
I have something to say
that cannot be said aloud;
you must stand at the same level
to hear what I have to say

2
And so Nasrudin comes down
the ladder
and asks his neighbor what the matter is;
and the neighbor whispers:
Nasrudin - lend me a 1000 dollars;
I need it straight away...

Come up, says Nasrudin
with no hesitation,
and he climbs
back up to the roof
and the neighbor follows

3
Now here is something,
whispers Nasrudin
(once they are both seated on the roof)
*that I could not say below in the street
but that can be said
when we are at the same height:
No; now you can go

1
Come, come all
O all neighbors and children
O come and gather in the streets
or be at your window
or at your door
O see Nasrudin on his donkey

2
O…see Nasrudin!
O…see his donkey!
O – Nasrudin is seated on his donkey!
O – see Nasrudin and his donkey:
donkey faces one way
and Nasrudin is seated
facing the opposite way!

3
O Nasrudin, why does donkey
face one way
and you are
seated facing the opposite way?

4
O, donkey and I cannot agree
which way we want to go -
and so neither follows the other!

1
it’s graduation day
and the teacher gives awards
to each :
a book to one
a staff to another
silk or precious stones;
and to Nasrudin
the teacher
gives a donkey

2
It is some years
and the teacher
hears of Nasrudin’s fame
and comes to visit
the House of Prayer Nasrudin oversees
and to pay homage to the Saint
buried just beside

3
O Nasrudin,
says the teacher -
how great your fame
and vast your following
Tell me, which Eminent Saint  
is buried in the mound
beside the House of Prayer
you oversee?

O Master,
says Nasrudin
It’s the donkey
you gave me
It died just 4 years after
and I buried him here
And everyone wants a Saint
so I have not disabused people
of their faith

4
The teacher nods with a smile
and Nasrudin continues:
But tell me Master –
which Eminent Saint is buried in the mound
beside the House of Prayer
you oversee?

Ah, Nasrudin, says the teacher
*though people believe it’s a Saint
it’s really your dead donkey’s mother

1
See, Nasrudin leads his followers
through the streets and alleys
through the markets and the houses of prayers;
and see, Nasrudin shakes his head and ***
and all his followers shake their heads and bums;
see, Nasrudin sticks out his tongue and rolls his eyes
and all his followers stick out theirs and roll their eyes
and Nasrudin shouts:
Hee hee ** ** ha!
And all followers shout:  
Hee hee ** ** ha!


2
And the Visiting Intellectual asks Nasrudin:
What are you doing
leading these people like donkeys
through the streets?

And Nasrudin replies:
I am leading them, Sir
to Heaven or Enlightenment as they will

And how, queries the Intellectual
will you know
they have reached Enlightenment or Heaven
as they will?

Each day, Sir, says Nasrudin,
*I look to see who is no longer following
and such ones have reached Enlightenment
or have gained Heaven, as each desires…
and now Sir, if you don’t mind,
I must go lead a few more hundred
running round the coconut trees
screaming:  
Hee hee ** ** ha!

Nasrudin’s friend visits him
and asks to borrow
his donkey for a day

Oh no, dear friend, says Nasrudin
moving close to his window
My brother borrowed my only donkey
just yesterday…

And just then Nasrudin’s donkey
brays aloud from the garden:
Hee-haw! Hee-haw! Hee-haw!

But - says Nasrudin’s friend,
with a twinkle in his eye -
I can hear your donkey in the garden!
I can hear your donkey!

Ah, says Nasrudin, cool and at ease:
*Who’d you rather believe?
Me? Or a donkey?

1
Bang! Bang!
****-gang! ****-****,
Ting-a-****!

O, all day
Nasrudin
is making all this din
in his home
beating drums and his pots and pans


Hee-haw! Hee-haw!
Hee-haw – haw!haw!haw!
Hee-haw!

And his Donkey too
all day
master and Donkey
making all this noise

2
O Nasrudin, why
do you make this din and noise -
you and your Donkey
all day long?


3
O, says Nasrudin,
Donkey and I are
trying to frighten away
all tigers and wild animals
to keep away from our town

But Nasrudin – there’s isn’t a single tiger
or a wild animal
a thousand miles
round our town!

See! says Nasrudin
Our method works!

Hee-haw! Hee-haw!
Donkey agrees

Nasrudin looks in the magic mirror
that allows him to peep into the future
and he sees many marvelous poems in cyberspace.

So Nasrudin calls his Donkey and he says to Donkey:
See, Donkey – there are so many marvelous poems in cyberspace.
They are beautiful poems.

But Nasrudin’s Donkey says:
Hee-haw! - what’s the use? As far as I’m concerned
the only good poem  is the one printed on paper.

And why is that? asks Nasrudin.

Because, at least when I’m desperately hungry, I can eat paper –
but I can’t eat cyberspace can I? replies Donkey.

See, Nasrudin sits eating
dates…
Oh, but do you see?
Nasrudin eats the seeds too…

O Nasrudin, Nasrudin
why do you eat the seeds as
you eat the dates?

O, says Nasrudin,
*because the merchant who sold me the dates
also charged me for the seeds

See
Nasrudin is in the streets
he rides his donkey;
and see,
the people are in the streets
and the men and women point to Nasrudin
and they laugh;
and the children run behind Nasrudin's donkey
and they roll in the sand
and they laugh at Donkey;
and the youth
throw some old cups
at Nasrudin's donkey and they laugh

and see
Nasrudin sees all this
and he says to them:
*Yes, you may see the humor;
but I don't think you see the irony

1
Nasrudin rushes into
the House of Prayer and
mumbles a quick prayer
and gets up just as quick
to rush off

Wait! commands the Chief Priest
in the House of Prayer
Say your prayers again -
slowly and with dignity!

And so Nasrudin follows instructions
and says his prayers slowly and with dignity
and then he asks the Chief Priest if he can go


2
Yes, says the Chief Priest
And don’t you think
the Mighty Lord is pleased
with your prayer slow and dignified
rather than the hurried
and quick one you offered first?

Not really, says Nasrudin

And why is that? asks the Chief Priest

Why? asks Nasrudin
*Because my first prayer was for God;
the second was just to please you

1
Nasrudin rushes into
the House of Prayer and
mumbles a quick prayer
and gets up just as quick
to rush off

Wait! commands the Chief Priest
in the House of Prayer
Say your prayers again -
slowly and with dignity!

And so Nasrudin follows instructions
and says his prayers slowly and with dignity
and then he asks the Chief Priest if he can go


2
Yes, says the Chief Priest
And don’t you think
the Mighty Lord is pleased
with your prayer slow and dignified
rather than the hurried
and quick one you offered first?

Not really, says Nasrudin

And why is that? asks the Chief Priest

Why? asks Nasrudin
*Because my first prayer was for God;
the second was just to please you

It is night
Nasrudin walks
in the moonlight
He hears horses
Thieves! Murderers!
thinks Nasrudin
and jumps over the wall
and hides in an open, unused grave


The horsemen stop;
they have seen
a man jump into the grave
and they are concerned:
Are you all right, Sir?
Why are you in the grave?

And Nasrudin answers as quickly:
*Why am I in the grave?
That depends on your worldview.
I am here because of you
and you are here because of me!

Nasrudin comes to a new town
and he goes to a store
and he asks the owner:
How’s business, Sir?

Business is good, replies the store-owner

Oh, then, can I borrow ten dollars?
asks Nasrudin

I hardly know you, says the store-owner
I can’t lend you any money

Oh, how strange, says Nasrudin
*In my town they won’t lend me any money
because they say, they know me too well -
and here you won’t lend me any money
because you don’t know me!
It’s a strange world we live in.

Nasrudin rides his donkey
and is stopped in the streets
by a neighbor

O Nasrduin, says the neighbor
I have been wondering long
and you might offer an answer…
tell me: What is the meaning of life?

And Nasrudin’s donkey brays
aloud and brave:
Hee-haw! Hee-haw!
Hee-haw! Hee-haw!

And Nasrudin says to the neighbor:
*I believe my donkey has answered your question;
and now, if you will excuse me,
it’s time for me and my donkey to move on…

Nasrudin is in his early twenties
and he works at the warehouse

See, each worker
lifts 3 sacks a time  
and puts them on a pile
and walks back for more

but see Nasrudin
how he works -
he carries just 1 bag
and puts it on a pile
and walks back for 1 more

Now, says the foreman
Why is it you only carry 1 sack
When others carry 3 at a time?

Sir, says Nasrudin
*I carry 1 bag a time
and make 3 trips in all
But the others
unlike me
are just
too lazy to make 3 trips

O Nasrudin
asks a man
tell of us ritual
and proper procedures:
Which side should I stand on
when I carry a coffin:
on the right, the left,
in front or at the back?
O Nasrudin,
which is proper?


O, dear friend,
says Nasrudin
it doesn’t matter;
just make sure you’re not
inside the coffin!

when Nasrudin was little
his teacher interrupted his lesson
and shouted at Nasrudin:
Hey, you - boy
in the front row!
Are you nodding off
into sleep?

No, Sir, said Nasrudin
*I'm trying very hard
to stay awake!

see
Nasrudin walks
along in the streets
and sees a mirror
lying on the kerb

Oh! what a waste, says Nasrudin
a good mirror thrown away
like this…

Nasrudin picks up the mirror
and looks in it
and then throws it away:
*No wonder
they threw this mirror  away!
What a face!
Who’d want to look
at a face like that!

See, Nasrudin is standing
on the other side of the river
let’s ask him,
let’s ask
how we can get across

Hey, Nasrudin!
Tell us how we can get
to the other side of the river

But* – replies Nasrudin –
*you are already on the other side of the river!

The evolutionist asks of Narudin
which is the wiser:
Donkey or man?

The donkey, naturally, says Nasrudin.

How is that? asks the evolutionist
surprised at Nasrudin’s quick reply


And Nasrudin says:
*The donkey never asks for more burden
than it can carry;
but man - ah, they ask for more
and take on more than they should

The evolutionist asks of Narudin
which is the wiser:
Donkey or man?

The donkey, naturally, says Nasrudin.

How is that? asks the evolutionist
surprised at Nasrudin’s quick reply


And Nasrudin says:
*The donkey never asks for more burden
than it can carry;
but man - ah, they ask for more
and take on more than they should

The evolutionist asks of Narudin
which is the wiser:
Donkey or man?

The donkey, naturally, says Nasrudin.

How is that? asks the evolutionist
surprised at Nasrudin’s quick reply


And Nasrudin says:
*The donkey never asks for more burden
than it can carry;
but man - ah, they ask for more
and take on more than they should

The evolutionist asks of Narudin
which is the wiser:
Donkey or man?

The donkey, naturally, says Nasrudin.

How is that? asks the evolutionist
surprised at Nasrudin’s quick reply


And Nasrudin says:
The donkey never asks for more burden than it can carry;
but man - ah, they ask for more
and take on more than they should

the gathering declares
with great sagacity
how one’s strength decreases
with age:
One is stronger when young;
Weaker when one is old

I disagree, says Nasrudin
I’m just as strong old
as when I was young

How so? asks the gathering
Explain yourself!

*Well, I cannot lift
the rock in my garden -
just the same as when I was young!

There is nothing which cannot be answered by means of my doctrine," said
a monk, coming into a teahouse where Nasrudin sat.
"And yet just a short time ago, I was challenged by a scholar with
an unanswerable question," said Nasrudin.
"I could have answered it if I had been there."
"Very well.  He asked, 'Why are you breaking into my house in
the middle of the night?'"