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"myselff" poems
... This morning: The quiet bleeds when you're not looking. i did not know that the quiet could bleed. Depression enters my room, the garden wails in protest, death kisses my stomach, Sadness whispers that she will not take my chalk outline and teach it how to walk today. Today the sun stops working. My mother buries whatever slowly died in me under the duvet. Last night: i guess, anything can be a gun if the darkness surrounding it is hungry enough i don't know how i make it to his bathroom in time, but i can already feel the autopsies they will preform on me; i tame ugly screams beneath it all, tell myselff it's not suicide if love hangs in my mouth. The other day: "i have no sympathy" "if it's killing you, then why are you still with him" This particular stain of anger never quite reaches my reflection in the mirror. But it sets my clothes on fire. All the same, i seethe endlessly; and slit the throat of forgiveness so it is not an option i could consider. My father wakes up inside of me sometimes; i am not afraid to be a weapon in which i was designed, a nuclear war in which i will return home from. A while ago: "you need to figure things out between just the two of you, none of your girl friends should be threatening my baby boy" "i would have married a man i didn't love..." for the love of GOD--- To ALL the adults who have tasted false wisdom and wish to share it with me; do not speak to me as if you could translate my suffering for me, you do not look like a ghost to me, do not treat me like i do not know that trauma is a thief to my innocence, you do not look like a victim to me, do not ******* tell me* that i am to contain myself to your benefit, because you know nothing but the way my name tastes on your lips, i will paint targetson your back, with your own words-- and i will feed you to the bullet feast when you least expect it. Don't patronize me with your ignorance disguised as watercolors. Later tonight: A little like all at once, all over the world, i fall out of love with you. i used to baptize myself in the things my phoenix would whisper to me, all his solids and shadows oh, the world was so beautiful in his eyes. And how i wish there was a softer metaphor that could lower me into this grief, cause isn't heaven heavy enough, isn't this hurting plenty? Now: i don't know how to describe the aftermath other than---- "*there is just a lonely hum in my mind where my name used to be.*"
0
Sep 22, 2017
Sep 22, 2017 at 12:09 AM UTC
Skaidrum
Watercolors
... This morning: The quiet bleeds when you're not looking. i did not know that the quiet could bleed. Depression enters my room, the garden wails in protest, death kisses my stomach, Sadness whispers that she will not take my chalk outline and teach it how to walk today. Today the sun stops working. My mother buries whatever slowly died in me under the duvet. Last night: i guess, anything can be a gun if the darkness surrounding it is hungry enough i don't know how i make it to his bathroom in time, but i can already feel the autopsies they will preform on me; i tame ugly screams beneath it all, tell myselff it's not suicide if love hangs in my mouth. The other day: "i have no sympathy" "if it's killing you, then why are you still with him" This particular stain of anger never quite reaches my reflection in the mirror. But it sets my clothes on fire. All the same, i seethe endlessly; and slit the throat of forgiveness so it is not an option i could consider. My father wakes up inside of me sometimes; i am not afraid to be a weapon in which i was designed, a nuclear war in which i will return home from. A while ago: "you need to figure things out between just the two of you, none of your girl friends should be threatening my baby boy" "i would have married a man i didn't love..." for the love of GOD--- To ALL the adults who have tasted false wisdom and wish to share it with me; do not speak to me as if you could translate my suffering for me, you do not look like a ghost to me, do not treat me like i do not know that trauma is a thief to my innocence, you do not look like a victim to me, do not ******* tell me* that i am to contain myself to your benefit, because you know nothing but the way my name tastes on your lips, i will paint targetson your back, with your own words-- and i will feed you to the bullet feast when you least expect it. Don't patronize me with your ignorance disguised as watercolors. Later tonight: A little like all at once, all over the world, i fall out of love with you. i used to baptize myself in the things my phoenix would whisper to me, all his solids and shadows oh, the world was so beautiful in his eyes. And how i wish there was a softer metaphor that could lower me into this grief, cause isn't heaven heavy enough, isn't this hurting plenty? Now: i don't know how to describe the aftermath other than---- "*there is just a lonely hum in my mind where my name used to be.*"
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69
Thee sunliqht briqhtenss your eyes as ii look deep into themm You whisper somethinqq as we stand there alonee what.? ii Just cant here you. You start to fadee away.. ii Tryy to holdd you one moree time but ii Cant feel you Dont Goo ii whisper as a tear rolls down my cheek Well Meet aqain you say in a voicee ii almost cant understand Just know that ii love you and dont forqet me. ii Lovee You too and theres no chancee ii will ii walk away *** you fade into a liqht thinkinqq to myselff "Ill Miss You My Love"♥
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Jun 13, 2010
Jun 13, 2010 at 3:49 PM UTC
anaa-alvarez
Sunliqhtt.
Thee sunliqht briqhtenss your eyes as ii look deep into themm You whisper somethinqq as we stand there alonee what.? ii Just cant here you. You start to fadee away.. ii Tryy to holdd you one moree time but ii Cant feel you Dont Goo ii whisper as a tear rolls down my cheek Well Meet aqain you say in a voicee ii almost cant understand Just know that ii love you and dont forqet me. ii Lovee You too and theres no chancee ii will ii walk away *** you fade into a liqht thinkinqq to myselff "Ill Miss You My Love"♥
Continue reading...
13