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John Milligan Feb 2015
Eye hav a higgoramous, shee tort me orl I knoe
Sheez a clevar Higgoramous az Higorrami goe
Shee tort me orl mi spelin and wen eye pik mi no’s
Ter wypit on der carpit knot rubbit on mi close

Sum peepul saye herz higgorrunt an saye dat shee iz fik
I ate dem orrid peepul dey reely mayk mee sik
I ope dat shee gitz pregerant an az a littel cubb
Eye’ll fead er lotz of kandie an uthar luvly grubb
Eye’ll elp er mummie baff er eye’ll chainge er durty nappie
Shee’ll bee soe qoot an cudelsum shee’l mayk mee viry appy
An wen der cubb gitz biggar shee’ll plae wiv mee an kis
An evariwun wil real eyes dat higgoramous’s iz bliss :-)
Just a moment of madness on a bus journey today1
OUR LIKE US, BRIAN, ONE OF US


YOU SEE WHEN I WAS YOUNG I WAS KNOWN AS A LITTLE SHY BOY

WHO TRIED TO LIVE MY LIFE, BUT I FOUND IT HARD, BECAUSE I HAD DELLUSIONS

OF BEING TIED TO A STAKE, AND KILLED, ALL BECAUSE I WAS A TAD SHYER THAN

THE OTHER KIDS, IN FACT, I WANTED TO BE AS NICE AS PIE, BUT I HAD THESE

WEIRD PSYCHIATRICAL PARANORMAL DILLUSIONS, WHICH MADE ME **** MY FAMILY CAT

AND BE CARTED OFF TO THE PSYCH WARD, AS WELL AS GRABBING KIDS LEFT RIGHT AND CENTRE

ALL OVER CANBERRA IN THE 1980s, YOU SEE I HATED PEOPLE TEASING ME, AND I THOUGHT PEOPLE

WANTED TO SAY THAT I WAS STILL BEING HASSLED, I DON’T WANNA BE HASSLED DUDES, THEY JUST

WANNA SAY, I AM HASSLING BRIAN, THAT SOUNDS SO RAD, AND DESPITE HOW MUCH HE TRIED, DAD NEVER HELPED ME

HE SEEMED TO GET CRANKY MORE THAN ANYTHING, , THAT WEIRD VOICE OF YOUR LIKE ME AND MUMMY BRIAN

AND YOUR ONE OF THE ADULTS BRIAN, IS FUCKEN DOWNGRADING, DAD THOUGHT HE WAS HELPING, BUT INSTEAD

HE DOWNGRADED ME TO BEING SHY, PLEASE, NOBODY PUSH ME DOWN TO BEING SHY, NO MATTER HOW COOL IT LOOKS

I KNOW I WAS LIKE A SHY HOOLIGAN WHEN I WAS A KID, LIKE PLAY COOL FOR LITTLE FAMILY KIDS WHEN I WAS WITH MY MATES,

I STILL COULD HAVE BEEN CURED FASTER IF DAD WASN’T AS ANGRY WITH ME, BUT HOPEFULLY DAVID AND LISA CAMPBELL

CAN CALM THE SOUL AND MAKE THEIR DAUGHTER A NORMAL KID, AND HER PREVIOUS LIFE OF MY DAD, CAN WASH DOWN

ALL OF HIS OLD FOGIE NONSENSE FROM HER SPIRIT, BUT DAD WASN’T PERFECT, MUMS NOT PERFECT, MY BROTHER ISN’T PERFECT

I AM NOT PERFECT, MY OLD SCHOOL MATES AIN’T PERFECT, EVEN IF I A LOOKING AT KIDS MOO COW AND SHIPS, I AM NOT GOING

TO HARM THE KIDS, I LIKE KIDS, BUT IN THE 80s, I WAS MORE STUPID, THAN 2013, MUMMIE DEAREST, AND I HATE BEING LOCKED

IN A PSYCH WARD WITH THE CRAZY PEOPLE, EVEN IF I HAD VISIONS I WAS A CRAZY PERSON, CAUSE I FOUGHT MY DAD AND TEASED MUM

ONCE I PUT A RUBBER SPIDER ON MUM, BUT MUM AND DAD, WERE HAVING ISSUES, WHICH MADE THEM BE TWO SHY ADULTS, THEY HELPED ME

BUT THEY WERE TWO SHY ADULTS, THE ONLY HELPING THEY DID, WAS GIVE ME A HAPPY FAMILY, BUT THEY ARE NEGATIVE ABOUT MY FUTURE

WHICH DRIVES ME CRAZY, I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE A JOB, IN ANOTHER CITY, BUT, MUM IS TOO HELL BENT, ON NOT FUNDING, BECAUSE SHE WANTS

ME TO FEND FOR MYSELF, I DON’T WANT THESE YOUNG DUDES TO WIN THEIR BATTLE WITH ME, I HATED THOSE YOUNG DUDES, THEY ARE GETTING

INTO MY HEAD, IN THE FORM OF MY MATE PAT, SO DAD, GO TO WORK ON THE FUTURE AS ELIZABETH CAMPBELL, LEARN DAD LEARN, BETTY

I FELT KIDNAPPED WHEN I WAS ON RISPERIDAL, WHERE THE CHIPS KEPT ME IN OLD FOGIE TERRITORY, AND MY CARER ANDREW WANTED ME CONVERTED

OVER TO HIS WAY OF THINKING, AND I POINTED OUT JOHN THE BAPTIST BEING AN EVIL MAN, HE WAS, BUT DON’T TELL MUM.

I LOVE BEING CREATIVE WITH ART AND WRITING AND YOUTUBE ENTERTAINING, AND I LIKED THE COMFORTABLE LOUNGES IN NIGHTCLUBS AS I DANCED

TO SONGS LIKE JOEY FROM CONCRETE BLONDE, MY MATE DITCHED ME, I DANCED TO TINA ARENAS  I NEED YOUR BODY, AND OTHER GREAT SONGS

BUT I STILL LIKED LOOKING AT THE MOO COW AND SHIP FORMATIONS ON KIDS LEGS, BUT I LIKE KIDS

I FEEL KIDS HATE ME NOW, BECAUSE, I REPORTED KIDS TYING THEMSELVES UP ON YOUTUBR, DUDE, THAT CAN BE DANGEROUS FOR THE KID, IT CAN

ENCOURAGE HOOLIGANISM AND PHEDAPHELIA, AND I CARE A LOT MORE ABOUT KIDS SAFETY, IF ANY PHEDAPHILE OR HOOLIGAN, SEES KIDS SUFFERING

AFTER BEING ******* ON YOUTUBE, THEY WILL START TO LURE THE KIDS INTO THEI CARS,

STOP TYING YOURSELVES UP ON YOUTUBE, LITTLE DUDES, IT AIN’T COOL, AND I AM SPEAKING AS THE PRINCE OF COOL

YOU SEE THE REASON WHY I WENT TO THE HOSPITAL, DUDES, IS MENTAL HEALTH SAY I AM WELL, AND I WASN’T GETTING ANY HELP, BUT BOTH TIMES

I ACCEPTED HELP, PLEASE MENTAL HEALTH, I AM WATCHING STORIES ABOUT DELLUSIONAL BEHAVIOUR ON YOUTUBE, PLEASE DON’T FUCKEN FALSE HOPE

ESPECIALLY IF I HIT BIG TIME AGAIN, AND I WILL, I ALWAYS WANT A CASE WORKER TO KEEP ME OUT OF THE CRAZY PSYCH WARD


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