Love too much
Hurt too much
Always needing a heart to touch

Limitless sources of abundance so clear
No ability to cause you harm or unnecessary fear
Sometimes momentary blindness, inability to truly hear

Critical lapses of  excruciating, intensity from my vivid past
Try, as I might, to make the most healthy relationship last
As days turn into nights, I wish a moment of bliss with you that would last.

Not sure anymore, of anything that is real
Putrid, agonizing, annoyance seems to keep me off keel
Hoping, dreaming and wanting for my positive feelings to be real

Lustful thoughts of our time together feel ****** and surreal
In the midst of the anger and bitterness,  I realize I am able to feel.
Seductive, entranced, mesmorized with true love stamped within our hearts, forever sealed.

The dripping of the lukewarm indecision has grown old, decrepit and shames me in despair
Ready now for the realness of  a soul mate, never knowing one that cared.
So here it goes, where it ends, know one knows… now that my soul has been given and shared.

In the end, where I have always been
Crushed within the lions den
Here I am, nothing hidden, never knowing the why and when.

My heart is now yours and given of my free will
Never again will I have to trudge up  the loneliness hill.
The love that I seek has been found in you
With a light in our eyes, yours sparkling blue.

The things in my past that riddled me with fear
When the darkness replaced the light is no longer here.
I'm trusting you to love me and hope it is true.
This poem was written especially for you.

I Solemnly Swear
No else would ever come close or ever compare.
To your unconditional Tender love and care.
Unaware that my hearts under repair.
Im Mentally Gone but Physically There.
Could this be a Secret love affair?
Can't you sense the attraction in the atmosphere?
maybe its in the confidence that you wear?
Because Out of the corner of my eye
One day you caught me by suprise
I think you could be my angel in disguise
All in my feelings, you Got me over here mesmorized.
The Presences of this King was Strong and So bold.
With Such beauty my vision could barely behold.
Truth Be Told,
You precious to Me, more valuable than Gold.
From that moment on I knew you already had my heart sold.
Something intrigues me to you.
Is it because you are Respectful, Honest, and True?
Maybe its in reference to the little things you do.
You are Something so Extraordinaire
Hard to come, So Exquisite and rare.
Even when I'm broke you got me feeling like a multi millionaire.
You give me butterflies.
Got me floating like the clouds above in blue skies.
Having vision about you and I
Becoming as One and Unify.
You as my King and Me as Your Queen.
You are the drug and Im the Fein.
I need you so bad I could scream
You are surreal to me like a dream.
You set my heart on fire.
With a passionate buring for desire.
My Confession is I sit here secretly watching you and Admire.

Sincerely Your
Secret Admirer.

She used her sway
Like a dangling watch
Swinging on a chain:
She stopped my eyes,
I was mesmorized,
Entranced,
In a post hypnotic haze.
If she snapped her fingers
I'd cluck,
I'd bark,
Do whatever she'd ask,
But she kept on swinging
And left me panting
In post traumatic stress.

I became mesmorized by the water filter attached to the sink
From ***** to clean the water glides
Doing so to please each humans needs
Water the necessity, the core of living, life, existence
Filling each cup of energy
Filling each cup of life
Filter: a device to remove impurities
My mind drifted and with shaky hands I began to remember
Filter: a device to remove impurities
How similar I though how similar
Filtering , like  my speech daily ,y words altered to be clean
To build into the right sentence, the sentence that fits into a specific place  set and stone
Once it is filtered there is not return to *****
I remember as a child the day I was told to filter
The day I was told to engage myself within myself
To intertwine words in between my bones and hide them there untill they we're spell checked
to play hide and seek, more hiding than seeking
Make sure the words find approval
Ecspecially  through man, because the word man is placed in woman
But woman not in man
As a defiant child I questioned life's reasonings
A woman found me, an adult figure I clung to like the last leaves on a tree
She spoke elgant and quiet
You cannot stand alone young girl you must think before each syllable flys like birds from the cage in your mouth
Suppress your  mind disable yourself so you can exist among the superior
For generations to generations this is the curse
but such a blessing to live
We do not question humanity or the man in the w-o
You were born this way dear you cannot help whats under your skirt
I will train you to deal with the cards you have been dealt
But never speak of my teachings for out loud we are equal
I opened my ears like arms for a hug and stitched my mouth like buttons on a shirt
Ten years later I stand at my kitchen sink and I feel the words under my ribs and the sentences wrapped around my neck
I open my trap to let go of the misspelled words under my ribs
But there gone, seeking and seeking I want all my words back but they evaporated, forgotten among the earth
I take the filter and twirl it in between my fingers
Holding freedom between palms
filter: a device to remove impurities
I pour a glass of ***** water and take a sip, a gulp,
oh. the glorious tast, the glorious taste of impurity

Love too much
Hurt too much
Always needing a heart to touch

Limitless sources of abundance so clear
No ability to cause you harm or unnecessary fear
Sometimes momentary blindness, inability to truly hear

Critical lapses of  excruciating, intensity from my vivid past
Try, as I might, to make the most healthy relationship last
As days turn into nights, I wish a moment of bliss with you that would last.

Not sure anymore, of anything that is real
Putrid, agonizing, annoyance seems to keep me off keel
Hoping, dreaming and wanting for my positive feelings to be real

Lustful thoughts of our time together feel ****** and surreal
In the midst of the anger and bitterness,  I realize I am able to feel.
Seductive, entranced, mesmorized with true love stamped within our hearts, forever sealed.

The dripping of the luke warm indecision has grown old, decrepit and shames me in despair
Ready now for the realness of  a soul mate, never knowing one that cared.
So here it goes, where it ends, know one knows… now that my soul has been given and shared.

In the end, where I have always been
Crushed within the lions den
Here I am, nothing hidden, never knowing the why and when.

My heart is broken in a million pieces you must now mend with your love.
Quite a task, indeed,  for anyone…. But your love surely comes from above.
And if you hurt me in any way, stand in line with all the others that who claimed they knew love.

if this pulsating addiction through my brain
can be more than madness
than I
I am more than nothing
cause when something so big, its condemed to itself
all it has left to do is diminish
into hunderds of icy little peices
covering my body
seeping down into my grittle bone
haunting under the light pole
polariods laughing in my head
dimmed creatures
humming
kiss me
kiss me
haunted

Im am so mesmorized for you
and the way you sit with your hand on your cheek
smoking your nicotine
speaking about venice and the lions in your closet
your blushing and speaking red
and I am watching you

I am watching you
--
move your tongue lightly on air and
tell me your stories in the most
simple word,
please
the creses in your forehead
shedding all the deatil
I am afraid to be too close to you

watching your hair fall to the side of your face
watching your veins pulsate
adorning your 5 o'clock shadow
you pushed me against the window pane
and shoved everything you had

that break me till I cant break anymore
kind of
love

I throw my arms above me---
to where I cant see them anymore
little dimness tracing at my vision

but am I blind now
or was I blind before
or am I still blind
or was I previously blind
or is this you
and this is my cycle
and you always come back

but I can never find you
and I am nowhere to be seen
perhaps on some forgein path

on my way to buy chardonnay and mint

he looks into her eyes like an astronomer completely mesmorized by the constellations above
and mapping and plotting every crevice of her body

The little ladys name was ramy she did not eat for 89 days. She would always pick fruit, and think of girls carrying cabbage. She would stand tall and always feel the air of the nearby mountains. She would race with the girls every morning for five days. She would stare into the sunflower, she would touch the wheats, she would zone out into her child hood thoughts. The little lady ramy, was her name. She had a brain malfunction, she would take corn and sway them all the time. She fell into a hypnosis and didnt come out alive. She quivered into a black machine. The lady was now in a dangerous scene. The little children would say hi misses. They would hold their knees. They would run away into the air surprisingly. The little lady would picker. She was a good lady but she forgot to hang up her white sheets. Every evening she would feel the laughs of the five girls. They would sleep orange, they would twirl in delight. The little lady was mesmorized.

I found him in a field, his feet bare and flowers in his hair.
He moved like a leaf dancing with the wind.
Mesmorized, I needed him for my own.
I fought a great battle to prove my love,
I conquered Dragons and Witches,
Slain Monkeys and Midgets.
When that battle was over, and I had won
He mended my wounds, he sang me songs of promise
A never dying love. I was in heaven, and he was my God.
We often wandered the field were I first laid eyes on him,
The wind sang songs of joy and the flowers danced when we would kiss.
The whole world seemed to embrace our love, and claim it for their own.
We would often lay just holding each other.
For a love like ours is best when minds are silent.
When messages that words bring aren't misconstrued.
Than a great cloud of white smoke engulfed the two of us,
our hands clutched together tightly, sweat and blood dripping down our arms.
The whirlwind of trouble, blew to hard for us to hold on.
We had been torn apart.
I wondered day and night, looking for the lover lost.
I climbed mountains and swam across oceans.
My heart sang only one song "Let me come home, Home is whenever I'm with you"
On day 456; I found him.
I found him in a faraway city of broken buildings, and ruined trees.
The flowers we loved so dearly are dead here. They did not dance the way they had for us once before.
I crept slowly into a rundown house, To find him in bed with another.
Singing the same songs of promise and a never dying love.
My chest opened up and out fell my heart.
It shattered into a million pieces there on the floor.
The sound startled the two new lovers,
He looked at me. He had lost the look I had once discovered.
His eyes shined like emeralds. There was no love for me in there any longer.
Our time had come to an end.. Bittersweet forever in my heart.
I shall never love another. He was the one for me.
I just wasn't the one for him.

The lack isn't enough
The absence of another set of hands is proving to be tough
No ones asked me how I'm doing for quite awhile
I remember your bed
I remember how much we didn't care about each other's pasts or the lingering of our own deadly thoughts
If you are the golf course and I am the rain then I'd like to go back to that night and remember how it felt to be completely ****** up and utterly insane
But I'm tired
No
I'm exhausted
A year ago I was not alone
I had dug a hole in a boys heart and filled it with suicidal thoughts and unanswered questions, both his and my own, and destroyed myself while calling it "love"
I think I was hiding
Using him as a mask
Because I was terrified and needed someone to provide me with a flask and cigarette addiction
The past is the past
But the past is all I have
The present is proving to be boring and the futures a *****
I guess I'll just be alone for now
Get dragged by the snow drifts and mesmorized by the wind
Stand out in the freezing snow and think about how I never feel warm anymore
Cause when I'm alone I'm cold to the core
Bored

The Night is young as i move towards the woods I run into a shadow, as i look into the shadows eyes i see disperse with anger and rage. As i come upon the shadow himself i notice the shadow itself clinging on to me as if im the shadow itself. He stays so close beside me, he's a coward you can see; I'd think shame to stick as that shadow sticks to me! One morning, early before the sun comes up I notice my shadow is gone. As i think and wonder where has my dark friend has gone to. Mesmorized in my own little world, as the sun comes down and darkness approaches my friend appears lurking behind me. As i try to hold him my hands just go right through him. I tell my shadow friend that i miss him so much that next time please dont leave me alone? Shadow responds in a angry outburst and says i will outlive you? and live forever. As i move on heartbroken the night has become day, as my shadow has vanished from me , as i wonder if my shadow will ever return to me. I reach out with my rage as my shadow disapage....Mr.X

Nervous                            why are you
Nervous  
Look at that smile  
Look at that face

Intriguing as it is
I havent asked  your name
Your nervous laugh
That nervous  tone  you make
Everytime
I come near your grace

Dont take it to heart
When you first spoke
My heart choked  
Couldnt  talk back
Mesmorized

The attraction of  your sun
Burns with the sole purpose of
Desire

I wana bathe in  the  forever sun

Why why are you nervous  
Why did i walk away

Collect my tears
Steer them towards the residue of my pain,
Those years never to be regained
Blinded by open eyes,
Traumatized
Irrigate those memories,
Wash me free from my mental cemetery

For years I dreamt of you,
Did you dream of me?
I walk through the rain,
Daydreaming of your warm hand in mine
I look out into the distance,
Searching for a love which is profound

I am the ocean,
Swallowed alive
I breathe deeply,
Content,
Mesmorized by you, a boy
Heaven-sent.

My eyes grew dim
That moment
I first saw you

I swear you took my soul
breathed it in
And wrapped around your
Sweet sugar tongue

I watched mesmorized
As you inhaled
My smoke fumes
Watched me dance
around the room
Spinning on such sweet
afternotes of you

I tried to speak
As i watched my feet
Stood backwards
And felt your finger tips
Glide inside of me

I gazed up and down at you
But to no end
You said we could only be
Lovers after dew

Never before
And never again

I spring
Every winter
Waiting for you

I close my eyes and begin to dream
Of a world that includes you and me
You sing to the birds with beautiful symphony. That gets my heart mad.
I hold your hands that are soft and warm.
I kissed your lips and made me freeze cold
I looked in your eyes and I was mesmorized from a beauty that only angels posses
You touched my heart and I couldn't be more alive .
Feeling your love that got me hepnatized
We hug each other all night.
I whispered I love you and I always will.
You are like the sheath that covers my heart
That holds it right and protects it from harm.
Her beauty made the roses sway and her soul lightens up the sky.
This moment was a moment I wanted to keep til I die.
Her love is so amazing that our hearts are beating at the same time.
Love I always want you to be mine and nothing to keep us apart even if my soul leaves my body and my body is burned to ashes.
My soul will keep loving you and waiting to see your pretty face.

Can I please
Just eacape reality for a day
As I lay on the floor
Drowning in music
And every memory of before

Let me escape reality
As I bleed out
Behind a closed door
And fade away

Let me escape reality
As I burn myself
And stare at the flame
Mesmorized by how I made it
Through the day

Let me escape reality
As I bite myself
As I have no other way
To feel the pain

I want to fade away
From reality

I want to watch the blood
Drip down my arm
My thigh
Or any other place
Shy of view

I want to watch the flame
As it turns my skin white
And burns the thoughts away

I want to watch the bruise
Form on my skin
When I bite myself
And it splits apart from within

When I harm myself in many ways
I can escape reality

When I watch the blood
It mesmerizes me
With the way it flows

When I feel the burn
It soothes me deep within
As the only thing I can think of
Is now the pain
And not the painful
Memories

When I bite myself
My thoughts numb and dissappear
As I dissociate
From reality

Music isn't loud enough anymore
I can't write enough poems
Your cuddles make me insecure
And drawing is too much effort for me to cope

there is an opening in my heart that will light a simple spark to what we need to know
nestled in the very fabric of man's existence is used to shun the resistance at every circumstance...
Among the garbage and the flowers
There are heroes in the seaweed
There are children in the morning
feathers flown by angelic beings taunt the very fabrication of my inner minds eye
as I look deep into her penetrating eyes it is only then i could see our future
filled up with hope and love for a better tommorow amidst the pain & sorrow
shadows block the vortex in the brightness of the pupil in my eye
come with me to the garden
alone and chosen to appear
lavender base with a hook in the air
baby's breath permeates the stream of moss left on the cobblestone square
left mesmorized through all those twisted lies does it come at any big enough surprise

love has gained it also has lost through one forbiddens soul that was tossed
onto the forbidden sea nestled in its tranquility in our make believe
marked the one willing to achieve the best out of sullen brevity
the foretaste of whats to become in all of kingdom come it can't be undone
Caviar, wine & cheese
start spreading love's disease
got to be in the move to catch you in the grove
pulls your heart in many directions amidst its aniquated affections
philosophers, intellectuals & average Joes
each of us can embrace loves torn embrace not some Peyton Place from outer space
you can meet me halfway above the sky toward are destined reason why