Here is the truth for all to see,
I cant be the mommy my kids need.
Broken down by a battle that haunts me night and day.
Having the courage to give them a better life..  Is the true definition of unconditional love..
Knowing that I cant be the mommy they need is a scary thing .

But letting them have a chance of a
Normal life is
The only thing

I know to do..
Being saddened and depressed is
A reality that may come with this choice.

I just hope that one day my kids will understand and respect this decision
And forgive me for not there..

Know that I love them and will never stop.
Mersadie lynm black your my eldest and i love you so to the moon and back.
Maxwell orion howard my middle one
Mommy loves you so much she is hoping you u will understand
I have weaknesses but I always think of you
and Molly ann cowan my little angel i love you so
..
Your smile will brighten the world
And lastly
Stormee rose
You Are to be born in 39 days
I love you also I hope you know
Giving you to Arial so she can bea mommy is the best gift you get..
Your our littlest miracle
Cant wait to meet you and kiss you so light..
As I hand you to your new mommy
Its a honor to be the reason you all get to be alive .. Each of you are special
And mommy will be here when the day comes to explain and hope You understand the reasons
I couldn't be the mommy you all need..
Unconditional love is what I give to you the chance to become all you can be and grow up to
Be amazing adults!
By Annamarie rose newell
December 9th 2016

Seems everyone has someone
Seems like they can keep that someone in their life.
Why is it .. I'm alone..
No one wants this body as their own
Why do I cry so much
Missing out on loves true touch.
What is the reason guys want me
But don't want to have me as theirs

My magical place is lost in time
Past mistakes create a rip in the fabric of LIFE.
My tears trickle down my cheeks
My mental state begins to rattle and shake..
A earthquake it seems
Beats my soul down in defeat

Seems I'm just a puzzle piece in this
Scene.
Nothing I can fake
Nothing I can take
My life is junk yard
Where the unwanted things get thrown. .
Seems my life is not really a source
For someone heart to breathe
Just a messed up battlefield
Where unneeded unwanted unnecessary things end up..

(Why is it that I am not good enough
Am I really that bad)

(I took them away from the life they wanted  n needed)

I ruined my babies lives
I ****** up so bad
I don't know where to go
I lost my mind
Now I know
I can't take it back
My world is so black
I wish that I wasn't  so ******* stupid
Like thaf.
I guess that's why I'm so alone
Because I deserve it
I walked down this road
(Mersadie, mawell, molly..
I'm so sorry..
I failed U

A sorry thought
A dried up tear
A broken promise
A never here
A why did you go
An I don't have a home
A empty life
A messed up strife
A broken bone
A person that's going to cry
This damaged mind
A terrible lie
Never belonged cry
A reality that hurts
That makes me know
I have hurt you the most
I wish it want so
I let you down and let you go
And you don't really know
If I love you like I said
Im really sorry.
That I caused this sadness AnD dread
You need to know I honestly really loved you so .
Its was me that was weak
Broken and alone
My Selfish thoughts
Broke up your home
Its not that I wanted to just give you away
It was what I thought was right where the darkest days would become your light .. These people Rochelle And Jesse were the miracles that shined
And would make you happy once again
But I hope you know I love you so
More then you will ever know
I love you forever
And always
My beautiful first born
My sweet precious gift.

Mersadie your the light
Where it all begins again
Someday we will meet again