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Neville Johnson Jan 2019
Sue Venir loved Hugh Biquitous, but he was unreliable, so she confided this to her friend, Di Namic who confirmed he’d been seen with Penny Farthing and Miss Chevous. Then she ran into Ken Tucky, who’d just broken up with Jen Erator, and was known to hang with Mel N. Choly. Together, they and Dan Ube went to a party thrown by Perry Winkle at the house of Dana Point.

Con Valescence introduced Sue to Marine Layer who asked Mr. Tucky to join the conversation, and they’ve been conversing ever since. Lou Kemia couldn’t make the party as he was ill. This was confirmed by Nick Knack who’d been informed by Conrad Alert.

Penny Saver left early, heading over to the home of I. Stan Bul, who was throwing a celebration in honor of Hazel Nuts and Grant N. Aid, who were to be married by Will Power, though Miss Givings, his former girlfriend, did not approve. Celebrants included Buzz Saw, Ma Larkey, Ben E. Diction, ***** Pack and of course Ann I. Versary, who deemed it worthy of being remembered. Tom Foolery was always good for a laugh, which was appreciated by Art I. Face, Dee Vice and Tess Osterone.

Some chose to dine alfresco, notably Flora Fauna, Heidi **, and Ed U. Cate. Barb Ituate was a downer, though Ma Larkey tried to cheer her up, watched by Cliff Hanger who wanted to see what happened, until a dispute arose between Ana Conda and Ann Ticipation, who’d both been vying for the attention of Billy Goat.

Meanwhile, in another part of town, Terry Dactyl was in a dispute with Billy Club over Lilly White because of something Miss Conception had reported after hearing from that duo, Caesar Salad and Reuben Sandwich.

Junior Mints tried to mollify the situation with sugary statements, but was interrupted by Yuri Nal, who said he had to go, and then left with Jay Walking and they were off to congregate with Diane Tomeetya.

At the next table General Jive held court in a warlike mood,  that Cary Cature tried to lighten.  With them were Tex Arcana, whose accent was amusing to Bill Collector, Al Gorythm, Tim Buktu and Marv E. Lous, who always had a great time wherever he went.

By then, Bobby Pin, the luscious seamstress, had given up on Peter D. Out, after seeing him clowning around with Butch Wax and Slim N. None, all of them malcontents and disrupters.

In walked Daisy Chain, newly arrived  from the Southern Hemisphere, along with Sydney Australia. Klaus Trophobic had initially agreed to travel with the two of them, but said he had to stay at home. Frank O’Phile overhead this and confided to Phil O’Sophically that there is sometimes merit to such position.

The restaurant was owned by Ty ****, managed by Chuck Wagon, with the food delivered by waiters Clay *** and Terry Aki , assisted by busboyTara Misou.

The next morning, everyone gathered at the home of Dawn Patrol, who was there with her new husband, Earnest Money, after divorcing Perry Mutual. Deb Enture was her maid of honor.  Nick O’Time was nearly late to the party, driving in with Stu Debaker, via a shaky Uber driver named Manuel Shifting.

Al Acrity was his usual sunny self, but not when Den O’Thieves interrupted his conversation, which was shut down by Kay O.

Sherman Oaks and Van Nuys were late, having gotten mixed up on the location. Cliff Hanger was worried about the falling stock market, and as a result was getting drunk with Jack Daniels. Stan Dup was his usually assertive self, but was overshadowed by the always munificent Cy Pres.

Claude Hopper was dressed in yesterdays’ styles, but that didn’t matter to Dov Tail who  was going into business with Matt Chabox, known for his incendiary personality. They had two other partners to round the group out, **** Ular and Ben E. Fit.

Gar Gantuan loomed large, and was unstable when paired with Mo Mentum, who said in such situations, they needed to involve Otto Matic.

Terry Cloth was wrapped around Jan U. Ary, ogled by Barbie Queue and Coleman Lantern.
Victoria Ryan Oct 2014
Sockets laying low, like a swing with to much rusted chain.

Corneas harshened with florescent grass viridescent  and sky aquamarine.

Snout pointy as the tip of a lustrous knife silver blade, and facing diagonal like a canon before fire.

Two ample, pale, cushions, keeping guard about my mentum.

Little brown chocolate chips, melting upon every inch and centimeter on my countenance.

A mane full of lingering threads colored chestnuts.

Physique of Irish, pure skin filled with angel kisses.

Two stubby branches hanging in action, waiting to be reactivated.

And two vertically challenged limbs, pudgy and not operational.

My presence, positioned vertical, gazing into a transparent sea of glass.
Neville Johnson Jan 2023
***** Nilly and his best friend, Nick Name headed towards Malibu where they were to meet Hope Chest for tea. Uh oh, Nan O’Second insisted on going and then spoiled their plans because she wanted to bring Jack Russell. They ended up having donuts where they ran into Deb Enture, who was cooking up some deal with Sue Ffle.
Gus To was in the parking lot where he backed away from Ty Rade, who was his usual self.  Dan Druff and Stanley Cup attempted to intercede but were thwarted by Mo Mentum who halted their efforts.
Then, lo and behold, Ruth Less accompanied by Miss Ann Thrope shouted invective at everyone. This upset bystander Heidi **, who turned and left with Grant Writer. Ed U. Cated just sat in his car and put moves on Claire Voyant.
I always do this at the first of each year.
Neville Johnson Jan 2020
It is quite an event!
Gerry Atric is old enough to know that Joshua Tree isn’t the right guy for Marine Layer. Anyway, she is more interested in Donny Brook, who had just broken up with Dee Ported, for obvious reasons. There they are, carousing on the Sunset Strip: Perry Winkle, Penny Farthing, Miss Understanding and Poppy ****, when who walks in --- Sara N Dippity, with ***** Nilly and Sal Amander, one on each arm!
Now Sara used to be the significant other of Mort Ify, before him, Pete Moss, before him, Charlie Horse and before him, Al Luminum! Go figure. That leaves Tess Osterone who cannot though she tries, attract any of these fine fellows, so she nurses a drink with Terri Ble, and wails about her latest disappointment with Con Descending.
Trying to calm the situation is Herb Tea, but even he ends up having cross words with **** Tatorial, who finally splits with Paddy Wagon in tow and heads over to see Tia Juana, and if they have time, Nan Tucket.
Why General Jive and Warren Peace are huddled has yet to be explained. Oblivious to all of us Mac Aroon and Junior Mints, shared tasty morsels and a libation with Amber Beer.
Preppy dressed Cord Uroy hangs with the stylsh Art Ist, each trying to make a move on Joy D. Vivre, but they are stopped by Moe Mentum , who had the inside track up until Scott Free, Gus To and Juan Derful surround the crowd, each trying to make some time with her.
Consider Lilli Put conversing with Al Falfa, while Rich People and Cord Cutter trying to listen in, but are thwarted by Mari Gold who interfered with that desire as she was shouting epithets at Con Undrum, who doesn’t know what to do. Miss Issippi cruises in and with Molly Fi, who tries to calm the situation. Watching from the corner is Bob Cat, wary of Miss Creant, who is eying him, all while she is being scoped out by Val I Date.
If life is sometimes a desert, Mo Have personifies it; he has his own problems trying to get out of the way of Uri Nalysis, who is just plain trouble. Jonathan Club is his usual convivial self, making conversation with Trey Chrotomy, who keeps clearing his throat. I was amazed to see Leo **** getting dressed down by Dinah Mite, supported in her criticism by Dee Mise.
Let us turn to the artistic arrivals: Marshall Amp and Art Professor, both adding some zest to the gathering, enabled in part by the always attractive Dee Colletage. Bill O’Lading is a bore until he jumps into the drink with Jac Uzzi, accompanied by Nat Ural, as they view the valley below and drink champagne with Elle Vation. Bobbi Pin pops everyone’s balloon by getting wasted and along with Cara Van is asked to leave. But this paled in comparison to Al Abaster attacking Ana Conda for hitting on her significant other, Tom A. Hawk.
Everyone stays away from Hal Itosis except Sue Venir and Mel Lifluos who avoids discussing the obvious. Commiserating and having a bad time are Marg Inal and June Gloom, but then they’re always that way when they get together.
Moving up in the world is Val Et, with her new recruit, Ann Appolis, decked out in a matching outfit with Lily White. Terry Dactl flew in to convince Dee Nial she had a true friend in Mother Nature, but that she should get a second opinion from Al Egory, any to hear what Brandy Alexander had to say as long as she was not slurring her words.
Everybody loves Gus To, he’s so nice to everyone, even the plain Lyn Olium and the depressing Miss Ann Thrope. We aren’t sure what to make of Sal Amander, who seemed a bit slimy, especially coupled with Beau Dacious. What were they up to? Dan Ube engaged Earnest Money to find out. He reported they were going to fleece Dan Druff and Butch Haircut, who should not invest in their hair-brained scheme.
Al Abama buttered up Cy Pres, hoping for some charity, while Minnie Scule and Tara Bite made an unlikely duo. “Respect” said Jen Uflect, that’s what everyone deserves, as she curtsied at the arrival of Caesar Salad. “Ha, ha, ha,” Heidi ** merrily exclaimed, joined by the mysterious I Stanbul. All he did was complain about the political situation.
Mary Me cannot get enough of Al Falfa, though she would have done better with the always engaging Mo Zart. Too bad he is always with Tom Foolery and Cass Anova, both with questionable motives. I know for a fact that Beau Dacious has crashed this party, pretending to have an invite from Des Ire. Outside, mystified by the diverse assemblage stands Papa Razzi, camera in hand. Hal Leluha tries to talk his way in, but gets nowhere is he is not on the list, says party planner Claire Ify. Mel Ifluous, on the other hand, though not an invitee, does get past the velvet rope, which I surmise is because he is with that wealthy Main Liner, Phil Adelphia.
Back inside the party I encounter Lazy Susan having a drink with Bud Weiser.  Here’s an unusual assortment: Guy Dance, Major Minor, Hazel Nuts and Scott Free. His choice of clothing questionable, Lee Derhosen paints a pretty picture about his life to Al Fresco, who is dismissive. Maybe that is because Mo Hawk puts him down, but he gets some protection from Val Id. Dee Tatched, never a joiner, talks business with Perry Mutual, who is threatened by his nemesis, Vito Power. Jungle Jim back from his travels, has a new mate, Lazy Susan, she having moved on from Leo ****.
How Riff Raff got an invite is shocking and I hope he will depart soon with Lee Ving, Bob N Weave, and Con Descenion. Louis Ville slugs it out, batting away the negative but truculent comments of Claire Ification. Tim Buktu acts like he is in another country, causing Mort Ified to hang his head, all made worse by the mutterings of Carrie On.
Mentor Ing tries to advise Con Flagration to cool it and is helped by
Dolly Grip and Frank Lee Speaking. Stu Pendus addresses each issue raised by Bill O’ Particulars, but he cannot allay the suspicions of Artie Choke, finally saying he must be in a vegetative state if he cannot understand the implications of what he proposes. Bo Tox just stood there, trying to look good.
The last to leave is Senor Ity. Phil Harmonic and June Bug drive him home where he lives with Dana Point and Sherman Oaks.
I always do word play at the first of the year.
Neville Johnson Jan 2024
Hope Less says to Merri Way that Frank Ly has been on her mind ever since Dana Point hooked up with Tim Id. Bea Serious, overhearing this, scoffs noting that Hy Perbole has been dissuaded from this notion.
          Enter Cliff Hanger, Adam Ant and Murray Hill who were hiding from Colin Oscocopy and Ty Lenol also following the same rumor, but they are shushed by Roman A. Clef who says he knows the real story.
          This occurs at the church social organized by Dawn Patrol. Bill Collector and Donny Brook watch from the periphery. Then comes the shouting: April Fools, Chuck Wagon, Moe Mentum and Ruth Less get into politics: it is a no-win situation. Fortunately, Benedict Ion, with the cunning Bob Cat is able to calm the situation.
          Di Alysis, new to town, chats up Peg Leg and Al Gorhythym, laughing about the antics of ***** Nilly and 2 Dollar Bill but Luke Warm is iffy about what he views.
         Rock Bottom, that sad sack, tries his luck with Miss Matched, getting nowhere and is unhappy to see Ray O’Sunshine barge into the conversation as he orders Mart Ini to join in with Lazy Susan.
         Uh oh, here comes ****** Mary with Mel N. Choley who has the nerve to tell Pete Moss he smells.
         Terri Yaki sits with Will Power who, dieting, will not eat. They sit at the same table as Rich N Glamorous, Patty Melt and Miss Quoted.
         Here’s where it gets weird --- Ben E Fit cannot get away from Polly Amorous who pursues him relentlessly while he tries to put moves on the audacious Bo Dacious.
         Hugh Tensils and the aptly named Nick Named joyously interact with Deb It and Dad Nabit, narrowly escaping a falling chandelier which is prevented from harming anyone by Nick O’Time, who is always in the right place at the right time.
         Ty ****, known for being parsimonious hangs with Corporal Punishment, an unwelcome party crasher
          Ray Gun seeks out Phil Anderer to ask about the latest concoction of his pal Al Chemy, learning that he been experimenting with Joy Ride, Long John and Phil Istine.
          Justice Delayed and Justice Denied sit at separate tables refusing to interact with each other.
Geri Atric and everyone’s friend, Amy Able go for a drink with Rose Wine. The bartenders, **** Tator and Gus To introduce them to the scary Mort Ality, who in turn invites over Nick Name, Hope Chest, and Nan O’Second as they would like each other, so he thinks.
     Jack Russell doggedly observes from a distance, pretending to be in  an intense conversation with Deb Enture, which annoys the other participants, Sue Ffle and Ty Rade, who figure out what he is up to.
     Off to himself, for obvious reasons sits Dan Druff, ignored by ***** Nilly, Stanley Cup, and the lazy Mo Mentum. Then the haughty Ruth Less arrives, with her entourage Miss Ann Thorpe, Heidi **, and Dee Pendant.
     The weirdest trio at this holiday party has to be Sven Gali, Sig Alert and Grant Writer. Go figure.
     The chef is none other Herb Dressing, the maître D is Nick O’Time,
     Ed U. Cated stupidly calls out and nearly punches Will Power but is restrained by Charlie Horse, Arthur It is, and the much-needed Ben Gay.
     Hal Ibut orders a meat dish, with Al Falfa going veggie. Penny Less says, “This is rich,” when she hears about the near altercation, while Luke Warm nods wanly.
     Tom Boy gets a kick out of Jack Boots as the couple, Miss and Cal Ulated, try to overhear the conversation but are thwarted by Al Cove, who intentionally loudly speaks over them. Of all people, Tommy Gun shushes them, for he wants to overhear what Buck Aneer and **** Tation say to each other.
     Justin Case argues with Mel Rose, while he hits on Rose Mary, who in turn is trying to avoid Des Titute. Cord Uroy is shunned by Cosmo Politan who hangs with the greedy Ali Mony.
     Mary Land is in an agitated state thanks to Mark Exhibit  who makes it evident Claus Traphobia is closing in on him.
Rich People engages with Cass Anova, while Penny Rate chats up Will Power. Honey Moon, recently married to Gene Splitting, gets an earful from Conrad Warning.
     Needing attention, Molly Coddling coos to Art Forgery, who ambles over with Herb Tea, who is interested Penny Arcade.
     Confused by all the people, there is Frank Ness, who can’t avoid the truth that Benedict Canyon and General Mills just don’t like him, leaving him with the boring Sue Veneer, who is not interested in him either.
     ***** Nilly, flustered, drinks coffee with Maxwell House, gamely sipping along with Three Card Monte. Nick Knacks hasn’t much to contribute to the occasion, then is accosted by Jack Hammer, who nails him in conversation and accuses him of plagiarizing Stan Za.
     Joshua Tree woodenly tries to put up with Tom Foolery, doing so with no help from Tim Id. Tired of the night, Gerry Atric disappears with Jay Walk. Ty Rant annoys Will Call, and is admonished to cool it by Buzz Saw.
     Patty Cakes avoids Phil Istine, who doesn’t care as he follows Perry Patetic around the event.
    Roc Anteur buttonholes Phil Osophy, who is more interested in Bo Dacious. Corporal Punishment consoles himself with Miss Fortune,
     You had to be there.

— The End —