Now, what the hell has just happened to me?!,
I went to sleep and felt quite human,
Alarm goes off, opened my eyes to see,
Two mounds where my little chest should be.

My ****** armpits have just sprouted some fuzz,
There's some hair where my lady garden was,
My beautiful blonde hair is all goopy and limp,
And my face has a likeness to a spotty chimp.

When i went to bed last night, i loved my dear mother,
Now, the thought of a cuddle makes me run and take cover,
Ant lanky Jimmy Owens used to repulse me, no end,
But now all i want is to be his girlfriend?!,


I suppose i will need to start wearing a bra,
And i'll have to smile through the taunts from grandma,
And my father will watch every move that i make,
And i'll have to conform, for my sanity's sake.

Well, tonight, when i lay down my spotty wee head,
I'll lie here and wait for the morning, with dread,
All these transformations, all yuk and all grease,
O lord, will i make it through in one piece?!.

c eileen mcgreevy 2009

It's the pose that will set all the boys from the men,
When they shed all their clothes and you see them, and then,
One of two things will happen upon seeing this pose,
You could run like the devil, or shed all your clothes,
Now ladies, you will know what i mean when i say,
If you dont know him well, then you must run away,
As such a bold move can only be tried,
By a man that you love, and a will to be tied, ahem,
But if ,luckily,like me your man is **** Welsh and keen,
Then you must mount that great band wagon, if you know what i mean,
This bold pose known as "The Naked Man" is centuries old,
So lets keep it alive ladies, dare to be bold,
Let's encourage our men to ditch all their clothes,
So that we can enjoy the lovely naked man pose,
Standing tall, chest out and hands on his hips,
Telling you to come over without moving his lips,
You can feel that you're blushing, and your hearts beating fast,
Bravo, naked man pose, bashfullness is dead, AT LAST!!!!


                                       (c) eileen mcgreevy 2010

There's a stop off point we are brought when we die,
And we're taken there by noble men,
After our loved ones get so say their goodbyes,
We begin our last journey with them.

In a dignified manner, they wheel us away,
And with quiet respect, they prepare,
Gently into a room with our bodies they lay,
Make us look like our lives are still there.

Such a hush will descend on this room for a while,
As those bearers of clothes dress us up,
With respect in their hearts and professional grace,
The rose cottage becomes our final stop.


                               (c) eileen mcgreevy  2010

What's a guy to do, when he encounters you?,
It's not even your looks, your nose is like a hook,
And inner beauty is void, you leave me so annoyed.

You prey on young men, luring them to your den,
Then you **** their funds dry, and will bid them goodbye,
You just toss them aside, god woman where's your pride?,

I can see what you're doing, it's not me you're fooling,
My man's not for the taking, you make no mistaking,
He sees what you're like, he calls you the town bike.

So move along *****, my love's really fussy,
He likes girls with class, not some cheap ******,
Avert your eyes elsewhere, look, there's a teen, over there....



(c) eileen mcgreevy 2009

The sirens,
They always make it seem worse,
But not this time!
Relief was felt in the house,
They knew,
Reality kicked in,
She wasn't walking away from this one!
That eerie silence,
The calm before the storm,
Then,
Panic, tubes, masks,
Certainly not the norm,
Nosey neighbours,
Sandwiches,
Condolensces exchanged,
The prying looks,
The stuff she took,
The pity about her age,
Saddened mingled anger at her actions,
Neglection of left over siblings,
Endless feelings of blame, and guilt,
The stupid, senseless ramblings,
But letting go, in just a while,
She'll leave this house for ever,
Her self destruction, struck a blow..



(c) eileen mcgreevy 2009

I rode behind him, ******* on a handsome steed,
My head against his strong, fragrant, sweaty back,
I'm sure, as we reached the woods with speed,
That he deliberately rode off the beaten track.
A cabin stood not fat from us,my heart began to race,
My body ached for his soft wet tongue, to slip beneath my lace,
The lake was like an ice rink, not a ripple to be seen,
I fantasised my open legs would float him in between.
Dismounting with such grace, he held out his arms so strong,
And swept me down upon the grass, inhibitions gone,
We shared each moment tenderly at first, with touch and taste,
The water hid our mouths and hands,my chastity he chased,
The ripples increasing faster now, our passion mounting so,
And breathless panting i let out, while learning what he showed,
The fluid love between us seeped from me, and then from him,
Explosions i have never felt before, and never since,
We dressed eachother gently, taking in eachothers beauty,
And off he carried me toward the cabin, intent on marital duty..

                       "But That's Another Story"


(c) eileen mcgreevy 2009

MAN= "I thought you thtew those boots out"
In other words="I love your legs in those boots"...

MAN="You get to drive the new car tonight baby",
In other words="I'm getting smashed tonight",

MAN="That **** at the office had a ladder in her tights, how tacky",
In other words="My new secretary has great legs",

WOMAN="My god, look at the state of my hair",
In other words="You haven't noticed my new hairdo",

WOMAN="You look so tired tonight sweety",
In other words="You're not getting any tonight mister",

WOMAN=" ***, that blue shirt you love is too tight, i'll buy a new one",
In other words="I mixed the wash, your blue shirt is pink"...

Woman, Man, man Of Woe? I dont know. Let's just get along HMMMM????


(c) eileen mcgreevy 2009

That ******* pile of bricks will be the end of me,
Its killing me and my love,
I'd fight it, but i dont know which weapons i need,
Its not me he's thinking of,
A hammer would only cause some of the passage,
Openness and conversation do the rest,
But he clogs up at the mention of, tell me "baby",
I dont know what to do for the best,
Do i walk away and leave him to it?
Or do i fight and wait for the bricks to subside?
What if he wants me to walk away, but cant bring himself to say goodbye?



(c) eileen mcgreevy 28/12/09

Oh where have you gone to my old purple coat?,
With your buttons made from the horns of a goat,
How i fought with my mother when she'd make me wear you,
Yet now i just wish that the mothballs will spare you.

I have searched in the attic, where my dress up chest is,
And ive looked in the garden where my tree house is,
How ive hunted and searched for you,my head has no peace,
I so want you to turn up, to give you to my neice.

Maybe one day i'll find you and hold you so close,
And say sorry for hating you and calling you gross,
I feel sure you're hung somewhere warm, in a cupboard,
So until then i hope you're safely covered.




(c) eileen mcgreevy 2010

I've seen them in the springtime,
You put them to such good use,
I've seen them in the summertime,
Show to me, your winter blues.

They shone like diamonds over breakfast,
That spark they'll never lose,
That April sun was shining,
I need to see those winter blues.

Return to me my love,
Forever you i choose,
Those eyes of polar ice i need,
My Chris' winter blues.



(c) eileen mcgreevy 29 nov 2009

I ordered it off an ebay account,
You accepted my bid, i paid the amount,
You promised to post the thing straight away,
But its already been a week and a day...


Its cover all yellow with lovely Will Young,
I looked forward to hear all the songs he had sung,
But no satisfaction is coming my way,
And now it has been a week and two days...


My payment was prompt,and you sent me your thanks,
I want a refund, put it back in the bank,
I will give you just one more chance,that's all i'll say,
Please send me Will Young, off the ****** ebay>>>


(c) eileen mcgreevy 2009

Like the skins of an onion,
You peel at my layers,
Hoping we two become one,
Please answer my prayers.


Laid bare so exposed to you,
All consuming ***** love,
You whisper what you want me to do,
Our parts together fit, like a glove.


Is this a dream, or are you really devouring me?,
Can i open my eyes to see,us sharing my cake?,
Like warm,wet honey, you are pouring me,
I reach that place and begin to shake.


This meal tastes so good to us,
We eat it , but we take our time,
Your custard filling makes me hiss,
Isn't our layercake so sublime?


(c) eileen mcgreevy 18/12/09