Ug and Og the cavemen thought they might have a dance
They didn't know quite what to do, but thought they'd take a chance
They advertised throughout the caves for friends to have a go
and many said “what is a dance,” and Ug said “I don't know”

They called in Lug the village chief, to tell them if he could
And he explained, he saw this once just by the local wood
Many people gathered round, and bounced and jigged all day
With beer and popcorn passed around it really was quite gay

So everybody gathered when the big day came around
Ug and Og had made some beer, and popcorn by the mound
Everyone had dressed their best to show off to the crowd
Even Loo from number nine was looking rather proud

Everything was going well, and jigging up and down
When Luggy Doug got hit by Wert for acting like a clown
He turned around to get away and fell right over Loo
Who happened to be in mid jig, and so bounced of big Su

Su went rolling across the floor, and bowled over Lanky Lang
Who reaching out to save himself, punched LooLoo with a bang
Now Bam loved LooLoo very much, so he thought he should
Come running across the crowded floor, to help her if he could

He slipped on beer that Su had dropped when hit by Luggy Doug
And landed on the pile of popcorn. Freshly made by Ug
The popcorn went up in the air, and scattered all around
Then Og slipped up and all the beer landed on the ground

Widow Grimp came from her cave “Whats the noise” she cried
Then spying all the mess about, went quickly back inside
Now soggy popcorn lay around, and no one wanted more
and so the party ended up with a mess upon the floor

Ug and Og were left alone to clear up all the floor
and they were laughing all time. Bout what had gone before
Window Gimp ran from here house with brush and empty bin
and stuffed it full of dried popcorn and took it all back in

Only Ug and Og were left, they thought the party fair
No one got to do much dancing,  that didn't seem to care
Widow Gimp had stocked her larder for the coming days
and the pigs, they had the rest, served up in metal trays

REMEMBERING COLERIDGE

"Ok! Can we have..."
my mind shouts

from its directorial chair
megaphone in hand.

"A MIRACLE OF RARE DEVICE
over here!"

BUT OH! THAT DEEP ROMANTIC CHASM
is still in her caravan.

"Ok...cue camera No. 2 &
where...

where are the SUNNY PLEASURE DOMES WITH CAVES OF ICE
can someone please. . .

. . .get the ****** SUNNY PLEASURE DOMES WITH CAVES OF ICE
please!

"We've got a Coleridge
moment

coming up on his next
footstep!"

"Are all you brain cells
following me!"

Memory goes through wardrobe
dressing each thought

in perfect Kubla Khan
costumes.

"Ok...cue footstep 2000 &
waitforitwaitforit....2!"

"Ok people..!" shouts my mind
"...he's going to remember the

Coleridge any second
. .    .nOW!"

"Cut to...OH STILL UNRAVISHED BRIDE OF QUIETNESS!
wot...wot....cut CUT!"

"Ok...who pressed the Keats button!"

And so it is that a Keatsian personified urn
of Greek extraction

finds itself in Xanadu

as I cross the road
and almost get knocked down

by a ****** big No. 69

and a cursing cyclist
in spangled blue latex.

*

What it is like inside my brain as I try to remember the bits and bobs of Coleridge that bob up and down in the stream of my thought as I try to cross a busy road. The mind is more interested in salvaging the lines of the poem rather than coordinating the feet in order to cross the road still in possession of my life. I survived to tell the tale but...only just.

I guess I was remembering the old comic strip THE NUMBSKULLS that tinkled my pink when I was a young fella me lad and both comics and poems jumbled around in that little mind like so much bric-a-brac or emotional flotsam and jetsam. And so the lines like shipwreck sailors get washed up on the shores of my consciousness.

Our "myriad-minded Shakespeare" as Sammy said of Will and could have been said of me in this poem but not as successfully as either Shakespeare or Samuel Taylor Coleridge.

The Numskulls is a comic strip in The Beano, and previously in The Beezer and The Dandy – UK comics owned by D.C Thomson. The strip is about a team of tiny human-like technicians who live inside the heads of various people, running and maintaining their bodies and minds.

The comic strip first appeared in The Beezer in 1962 and was drawn by Malcolm Judge. In this version they lived inside a man's head rather than a boy's head. The man was never named, but the Numskulls referred to him as "our Man". There were six Numskulls during this time. The 'Mouth Department' was home to two Numskulls, named Alf and Fred. Luggy (Radar) looked a lot like Cruncher, Snitch looked like Cruncher as well except Snitch wore orange, Brainy had no glasses and had no hair apart from around his ears and wore black, Blinky looked the same except he was bald and Alf and Fred had two hairs on their head and wore black and yellow.