I was going to write a poem
But I got lost
And when music captures you
It doesn't want to let you go.

Pierced the surface of
Moving life by making
It immobile
Captured it's skin
On the wall
Supported by the
Heartlessness as courage
The whelping innocence
Growing with that hanged skin
Swinging around
Looking around
Hovering around
With joys and laughs
Unaware of the agony
Of that rope of his swing
Nature is destructed
Walls are smirking
Childhood is blinded
With cruelty as bravery
And spring, spring is
Losted forever......

This is no Lament,but an
Ode.I'm on my last hook of
The tune,as I hear voices hollers
On my back.this positivity keeps me
Locked on my de javus.

I'm livin' life like a video,
Onto press forward to my
Ambitions.I'm too proud of
Myself.

I'm on my utmost,every dream
Ends a picture perfect,as I imagine
Myself holdin' a throne at my
Closet.

I'm no Pinocchio but I iPaulistic
Art.im 'til live to the birth of
Next century,'cause I'm the
Third World War Soldier.

I'm a wanderer in disguise,searchin'
Triumph at night.
Guess my dreams ain't real,
Just livin' greatness of my fantasies.
Oh!!this is an omen.

I'm no Osama,but still a Pisces
I vandalize world of neysayers,
Forfeit negativities.

I separate dark and light
'Cause these street lights
Still shows me life on
My grind.

I'm down floor to my knees,
Bow down to all loved,losted
Zulu warriors,for Shaka to
Flourish my greatness.

Dear God,may you please sprinkle
Blessings upon my life,my path
Is grey a winter season.

'Till death takes me,but my
Dreams will forever last.
And if i die today tell me
I will make it through hell,'cause
Heaven is where the heart is.

Once I used to play,with excitement
Once I used to fall..and..rise..with no embarrassment,
Once I used to walk,run and stop...having no destinations,
Once I used to laugh...with no reason,
Once I used to upset...but get easily pleased,
Once I used to cry..without a drop of tear,
Once I used to drama,... Over trivial issues,
Once I used to dance,..without getting accompanied,
Once I used to sleep... Having sweet dreams,
            But NOW...
I have no reason to sing,have no reason to dance..even after getting accompanied,
I have no reason to laugh,to cry or to get upset..over any issue,
I have no reason to create drama or set in silence..
..........have I Losted ....
Artificiality doesn't suit me,naturality don't suit people,
Just because paths are different,destinations don't invite me,
I don't like fake emotions and relation says-"you betrayed me",
I don't want to sit alone..but crowd hates me,
I don't like to explain..and people don't understand me
......Am I stolen...
I just want to be...what I once used to be
Once I used to be...
......"ALIVE"

I*  lied

I told you that I love(d) you.
I thought I did.
You are everything I could desire and ask for..
Yet my prayers of a man that would love me ten times more than I would love him, were answered.
An now I despise the curse I have planted on myself.
I am not in love with you, you intrigued me for a while and then you became a burden.
I know I am wrong...
And I apologize..
I used you for attention to distract me from the penitention that I have placed myself in.
Loved and the losted
Pain that is fought
False assumptions of monogamy
When really
I just find you rather...
Comforting..
But now I am stuck in my own quick sand of confusion and thought.
That maybe one day..
You'll be that love that  was actually losted
As the days roll on I push myself to love you the way I love my tea..
But you are not intriguing to me
A little less for me
A man with baggage that's way to excessive ..
For  me
I just wanted to help you.
Help you to help you heal your own pain because hurt people only hurt  other   people.
My mother warned me before I dived into this amateur love story.
That love isn't always the medicine for pain..

Fierce prose carves & take me down....
The silence of snow and flakes made my world mourn....
Endless reasons to joy still searching for one....
If only but fatefully it's only ifs that mean....
Lest this is the only way or least that falling rain which leaves the brown...
Priorities worth time not excuse that's for an  option....

Loginquitas*:
distance remoteness isolation;
separated from others.

No specification about how it is,
what it is,
if it comes as a wall between
or only a space, unrightfully empty.

Isolation indicates past ongoing,
a thing not just temporary,
but potentially permanent,
a sentence like prison solitary,
like a state of celibacy,
a vow of silence given under duress.

Remoteness means far away,
not just a length of earth -
an Everest of longing,
ice shifting underfoot and when the footing goes,
down another interminable edge,
there the freeze into narrow sleep.

Distance like roads in the Midwest,
seeing for hundreds of miles,
the knowing discomfort, the steady hunger,
a fact that is this:
lost, interminably lost, losted after.

Separated from others is the afterthought,
the side effect, the symptom-sick,
visible, wriggling nakedly.
Worm-like, burrowed into itself.

My Girl loves me despite
What i'm saying?
I'm not too high to realize
What i'm longing.
Too much difference between me and you
I need to take off my wings
I need to pull off my fascinations
I'm insane and my mind losted !
I'm stained around this pain
It's ain't enough.....

Through your sweet smile and round face
Where i'm belonging
I ain't feel alive without my phone ringing
selfish too much 'bout you
Despair but much i needed you
So you can love me much as i can?

To my all questions i ain't go shut up.
So why don't you admit it.
If you did with your choice.
I'm asking !
How far you've given me a space
Do i exist to your life
Do you wishing me right next?
Do you suppose me to kiss?
tight.
Do you suppose me to hug?
Holding me up for a while,
Effortlessly, you'd says  don't know!
Had you seen yourself at my place
Although never i'll meant you to feel hurt.
That's all i got instead,
In the name of LOVE.
19/07/19

(Chorus)
In the love, i was on the 7th sky,
In my own world, but i never try
To listen you,
I've been a deaf, forgot to be true,
Now only regrets remain for not to heard
Her unspoken words
Life be different, we still be together
If i could ever understand her
I've been a deaf, forgot to be true
Now only regrets remain for not to heard
Her unspoken words

(1st verse)
Midnight in the snowy winter
I was about to make a joint filter
Her call was in my brain, when no one in the shelter
A swain guy, a one side lover but deep somewhere
mind refusing him, heart tackling to answer
Losted in her thoughts and ensnared...
I wish i could listen you when you were there
Halfway through the session my mind started wander
Her voice was echoing in the ear, asking if i fear for being alone
Have you ever regret for the things you did wrong?
My heart is not ready yet to accept that you are gone
But somehow i managed to move on, sometime i missed you,
Sleepless night trying to figure out how will i forget,
You broked me babe, i dreamed about our duet
But you don't deserve it, i loved you with all my feelings were in the heart
But you divided it and shattered in two parts.

(Chorus)
In the love, i was on the 7th sky,
In my own world, but i never try
To listen you,
I've been a deaf, forgot to be true,
Now only regrets remain for not to heard
Her unspoken words
Life be different, we still be together
If i could ever understand her
I've been a deaf, forgot to be true
Now only regrets remain for not to heard
Her unspoken words

(2nd verse)
What if i hurted you, were you able to forgive me?
I had a nightmare and bad dreaming
I wish i could hurt you back and break you bad
But my ethics don't allow me to do that
Tell me why you make me sad, you loved me, didn't i loved you back?
I had a wish that your are the one with whom i can spend 9month
Yeah, you heard it right, befor you broke me i was pregnant
You never asked me that, you never feel what i feel
Some serious injuries took time me to heal
I was not your business deal, that look for profit
Now you are alone and its not my fault
I choosed to be happy, i am being with it
Hope you listened me carefully now
How can a broked one have a trust again
I moved on dear, and the new life begined

(Chorus)
In the love, i was on the 7th sky,
In my own world, but i never try
To listen you,
I've been a deaf, forgot to be true,
Now only regrets remain for not to heard
Her unspoken words
Life be different, we still be together
If i could ever understand her
I've been a deaf, forgot to be true
Now only regrets remain for not to heard
Her unspoken words

(hook)
are you faking smile on happy moments sometimes
But only known you are sad deep inside
Why do you always need a guide to provide
A knowledge about a life, can't you decide the way you gonna try
Why? Always depending on other guy?
I had those mistakes, and she said me bye
Don't you think i didnt try, you need always to be right
Be happy be with whatetver you have, or else to get everything you'll have to fight.

(3rd verse)
Then friends entered in shelter, and destracted,
Her words stucked in mind so Started thinking ahead
Since the day we parted, i feel like i'm discarted,
I'm not live and lively, but i'm alone and lonely
When i look at your pictures, they remind me your smooth texture
Sometime i feel loose in my body, babe, on the fantasies of your body
If you can hear me, come near to me sweetheart
Hold me with your palms, and feel my body parts
They all are numb without your lovable heart
I loved the thing that you made a new start,
I was still stucked but with a regretefull heart

I wish i could take back the words that were said
They hurt more than they should have
Our friendship crashed into the void of silence
For what? For a meaningless object that has little to no value over what was losted
I wish i could rewind time and fix what is now broken
The tears that swell up and the heart break deep in my chest

Sometime a simple good-bye...,
Can make us terribly cry.
Feeling of worthless, hapless...,
Life is doing humorous wry.
I don't know what will happen...,
If today I die.
Forget my needs but not my deeds...,
All this happen with me,why.
Every time losted living within own storms...,
One cannt break what already broken...but try.
Living in dreams, but actually sailing nightmare...,
Give me not happiness but peace just not pry.
Hovering over virtual forgotten the real...,
If I state more accept my sry.

Muddled between passion and reliable
Unworthy for both the norms
Authentic to promised words
Glaring to self vowed world
Flung delusion torning the tame
Full of illusion, vanished reason
Unconsciously losted lame
Trapped in deserting game
Combating steps regret the phase
Wanting the crown, freaking the rain
Veining of heart full of swords
Smiling dreams with scattered reality
Unable to find way out to social detention
Fate is cruel in the way to destiny
Unwilling running on the lines of palm
Still with a hope to conquer the desires
Still with a hope to turn the burnt into ashes

i love you happy birthday
you came when i wasn't looking
you came when i was feeling lost
you came when i needed you
you came when i couldn't love myself
you came when you were losted
you came when the timing was right
i wouldn't change a thing
i will not leave you for another
love is real
we found each other when  we both didn't know it
you make me happy
you love me
i love you
you protect me
i protect you
you may be younger than me but doesn't matter you'll all i need
hope you have wonderful birthday
loves alots
happy birthday

In a dark world
Where freedom of speech is lost
And self-confidence can not be found.

In a world
Where the hope of d common man is taken
By some unknown forces that lives in the dark.

Lies a light!.
Which shine more than the stars,
Just like the moon,
Enough to make a dark world go bright.

Just enough light to discover
The losted freedom of speech,
Enough to develop self-confident.

A light that helps to bring back  hope to d common man
And renders the unknown forces powerless.

A light that can say many things,
Just by saying one thing.

That light is d Pen!!.
Oh pen!, What a great blessing u are to all man kind.
Bless are those who learn d skills of d #Pen!!...