Looking into the eyes of the man who hurt me I found what wasn't said.
You were content with your actions,
so I was content with my decision.
You put me in the back of the class, I put you front row in mine.
You abused your privileges of having me so now you're stripped from them.
Last night was a turning point, I realized that you choose what you feel. Your emotions do not conquer you, you conquer your emotions! And I choose my happiness over you, you've hurt me enough.
Jun 8, 2016
Jun 8, 2016 at 6:53 AM UTC
Lost in my own made up reality of us, I forgot that you're just a boy.
You don't deserve the honey from my comb.
The breakfast in bed.
The dinner followed by foreplay and passionate ***
You don't deserve it.
I never thought out of a million people it would be you.
You were the moon that lit up my sea of naked flowing water,
dark
rushing
stop
slow
breath down my back, love me till I realized that you love me the same way I love you.
You lied to me and you kept lying.
I trusted you with my heart, mind, body and soul.
Isn't that enough?
You're so incompetent.
But as those waves settle and the storm dissipates,
The clouds move and you're revealed. Not your representative but your actual being.
Your intentions and true feelings are revealed.
I feel dead.
This was the end of the road for the love we shared, I still love you.
But, this tragedy has turned me cold and I'll never love the same way again.
I pray that the next man I meet won't resemble a boy and will be the man that I need.
Jun 7, 2016
Jun 7, 2016 at 12:24 PM UTC
Love is like the 90's..
Filled with real connection.
I wish I was born in the 90's..
Back then love was impatient,
Love was
Adoring and meaningful,
Love was ..
real
I miss the feeling of genuine love
and to be g,
I don't even think I've actually experienced it.
But the music...
The music is what tells it all..
In this generation, everyone is afraid to love.
To us
To them
Love is indeed a title more than a feeling.
You don't fall in love suddenly in a day and you sure as hell don't fall out of it the next.
........................
Our definition of love is not a true one at all.
We just give "love" to receive "love" to feel
loved..
Yet we find our definition of real love in all of the wrong places.
Through *** through smoking, drinking..
But in reality.. Thats not how we want to be loved.
That's not how we intended to be loved
To be
cherished
We're lost..
And we're going to make the next generation even more confused than we are.
We ****** up, I don't know how or when we did.. But we ****** up.
Bad
Dec 3, 2015
Dec 3, 2015 at 10:39 AM UTC
I've come to peace with the fact I can't have you.
You were my little case of love,
You inscribed your name in my walls.
An as I lay my head to rest,
I only think of you.
Holding me as you did that night making this jawn a emotional mess.
You were the storm while I was the silence before.
I was not heard.
You continued to be
young
wild
And
free
You will never be mine and I will never be yours.
Indefinitely you are blind.
Open your third eye and see me!
I can not see for you, realize that it is me who you are looking for!
Or maybe...
It is me who is blind.
Maybe I'm just as forgettable as the ordinary girl strolling by you on your worst day.
But even familiar faces appear in dreams.
You will never settle for this queen that awaits you to be her king.
So **** you really,
I should of never added you to my body count and allowed you into my heart and mind.
Nov 12, 2015
Nov 12, 2015 at 9:00 PM UTC
I'd rather soak in a hot bathtub surrounded by candles with blueberry tea
than to fall in love just to fall back out.
Truth is
I don't love to be loved, I love to fix
but all that results in is me losing bits of me.
Truth is
I'm selfish.
I want you to give me all of you but I don't want to give you any of me.
Truth is
I'm lost in a world that is nothing but hatred and envy. I don't know who I am and I don't know what I want.
Truth is
Every time I think I have it together..
I lose my grip on reality.
Truth is
The good never last to long once you get comfortable.
Truth is.
I'm just another lost person lost in my head of unclear thoughts.
But the bad thing is,
my thoughts are always active.
Oct 25, 2015
Oct 25, 2015 at 5:02 PM UTC
I'm becoming a monster
I'm becoming a monster!
Clawed my way out the gutter
My rage is what allows me to conquer!
I'm becoming a monster.
I'm becoming a tyrant
RUN, RUN, RUN
old feelings and brains that are mindless
Love that grew old and moments that were timeless
I'M A MONSTER!
scripted in my own story to **** and defeat
destroy and watch the innocent decease.
I'm...I'm not a monster.
I am a victim
a victim to what every woman I have ever been with...
now perceives me as.
every friend that's ever judge me
every family member that's looked at me strange
deranged... yet, I was just misunderstood
or... am I a monster? I think not
(I transform)
*Yet, the blood rushes through my veins
as I think of you in pain...
It's like a sudden high for me
to see your heart gasping for air and your mind trapped in chains
You're so vain. You're so weak!
my lips tingle and hands cringe when you speak.
You were an angel to me 8 months a go...now you're a demon who like the devil, reaps...what is it you seek?
INNOCENTS!
what is it you say... FINISH HIM.
Now you're scared...and you should be...
The tables have turned
I'm the monster now.
I will expose you!
it's your demising moment...I seek.*
(transforms back)
I lost it...Control...Hope...Sanity...
Myself and now...
You.
but you were already lost
You were already gone.
My transformation was caused by you.
I'm not a monster...I'm a creation of your twisted dark fantasy,
of your poison.
**Because really...
The monster...
Is you.**
Oct 24, 2015
Oct 24, 2015 at 4:15 PM UTC
I fell in love
Because you told me everything I wanted to hear.
And now I'm a member of a club
That is nothing but confusion, confessions, ****** desires of affection and majority of it comes from fear.
I fell in love
Because you pleased my mind, my heart and my body.
I don't think I actually want you,
I just want you when I want you so when I crave that, I can actually believe that, you'll be sincere in this love that your about give
to me
And make me feel
Lovely
I'm confused.
She told me I'd lose.
Myself in the process of correcting others.
Now my heart belongs to two too many..
I love you
no
I love you
wait
I think I love you
I'm just lost in a situation I put myself in.
I'm pinned.
Confined,
To deal with mine.
Hearts that I have broken,that will be broken,
Is this my token of gratitude?
Nah
I'm just a ****** up person
Making ****** up decisions
******* up everyone's lives
That'll most likely cause a collision in their lives in the long run.
I am the reason people have trust issues,
I'm indecisive.
I will lead you on and make you feel lifeless.
I'm sorry.
I didn't choose to be this way..
My father wasn't there so how can you expect me to love you
the right way?
It would be correct to say,
How can I give love if I myself never felt that way.
Oct 24, 2015
Oct 24, 2015 at 11:23 AM UTC
This was a new place.
A new perspective of my out look on life it's self.
I stared out into the ocean of velvet sheets fluttering in the wind.
I jumped from the cliff in hopes of a kiss of softness.
Suddenly I met whiteness and forever fell in a abyss.
No sound.
Just a empty hole lined with my mistakes.
I should stop serving myself my mistakes for breakfast.
Oct 23, 2015
Oct 23, 2015 at 2:27 PM UTC
8:57am do you ever see someone crying and you just want to hold them ?
8:58am only if they truly are breaking down..
8:59am I just care so much about other's... I just want to comfort everybody.
9:01am and that's what your always the one to get hurt in the long run.
Oct 23, 2015
Oct 23, 2015 at 9:02 AM UTC