sitting here 
with all kinds of thoughts.
trying to force myself to think of god.
- instead thinking about a lost love.
trying to hold my emotions in 
while repeating a prayer over n over
in my head.
i use to repeat the name of someone i loved 
when i felt lost but now i realize that was where
i went wrong .
now looking out the window 
in the dark ,i find a star
the loniest one to look upon
i try to push everything im feeling 
deep inside and wipe each tear before it falls.
all the time trying to keep a smile on my face 
while i talk to god.