Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
Neville Johnson Dec 2021
Benedict Canyon lived with Beverly Hills and stepson, Van Nuys. P. Nut was golfing with Beau Peep, and suggested that Van join them. He declined as ***** Nilly had another foursome with Ali Mony and Mary Land.
        General E. Speaking was at the club, holding forth in his stentorian tones being raptly observed by Al Dente, I. Stan Bul, and if you can believe it, Pia Nissimo.
Moving through the room in search of her next sugar daddy, we encounter Miss I. Sippi, clinging closely to Di Namics on the same prowl. They homed in on Junior Mint, sitting with Al Hambra, Scott Free and Terri Yaki. Val Halla and Buzz Saw introduced themselves to the group, when suddenly Grant Deed fell to the floor, inebriated, stopping the conversation. Marv E. Lous, Mel Ifluous, and Murray Hill carried him, snoring to an easy chair and laid him down.
Cut to Hazel Nuts who was aghast, and turned to Leo ****, making the comment that Buck Wild and Claude Hoppers must have gotten him drunk. Slim Chance begged to differ, asserting it was Gus To, trying to get back at Vin Dictive, who had burned him in a property deal with Grant Deed.
        Ben E. Ficial was amused by **** U. Lar, notwithstanding the looks of Luke Warm and Bea Wildered, who were fearful Buck Wild was going to start a fight with Steve Dore.
        Earnest Money ventured over to Tony Neighborhood, but was shocked at Ana Rexa’s appearance, so he notified Conrad Alert, but Minnie Mise tired to quiet his alert, saying that Tab Oo, who seemed to have the run of the place, demanded the same. Observing this, Martin I said “I need a drink” and corralled Tim Buktu into buying him one.
Tess Osterone was surprising laid-back, maybe that was because his pal, Sandy Beaches, put her at ease. Minnie Appolis, just back from Minnesota, got into an intense discussion with Ruth Less and Mort Ality. I don’t think they like each other.
        Kitty Hawk flew into a rage at smelly Pete Moss, locked into deep conversation with Al Falfa. They both needed a shave and a wash.
Miss Anne Thrope was her usual depressing self, but thank God, she found Ty Lenol to lift her spirits somewhat. Millie Meter went the extra mile for Minnie Van, who struggled to figure out what Al Botross was up to with Tom Foolery.
       What to do with Dewey Decimal, boring everyone who all had his number? So Al Buquerque took charge and invited Hugh Tensils, Ben A Drill and Manuel Shifting to bring him out of his shell.
       Hazel Nuts, surprisingly matched well with Terry Aki, and Mac Rame Teased Mac Arena with a little dance. Ray Ban was a shade introspective and diffident, but had to engage when Polly Ester chatted him up. Take a look at Maxwell House, coffee in hand, who congratulated Gene Splice on his recent editing award. Dorit Os munched on the hors d'oeuvres with Cal Ameri.
       Teddy Bear was his cuddly self, and had a good laugh at Tom Foolery’s antics. It has been ages since Ron de Vouz heard the mellifluous sound of Hugh Kelele’s voice and they immediately embraced.
        What a quartet --- Ma Larkey, Rich People, Oz Mosis, and Ray Vaughn, all who stayed late, always the life of the party.
Perry Patetic moved around the room as though his pants were on fire. Everyone felt sorry for Des Titute: who wouldn’t?
There was Rose Bushes, in the midst of a thorny divorce, to which
Geri Atric could relate, as she had been through the same with Gus T. Winds, who had been represented by the mean lawyer, Ty Rade, who also happened to be present with his chief investigator, Al Ibi.
       Van Couver would not stop extolling the virtues of his native country, so Marshall Amps turned it up to 11 and drowned him out. Finally, Will Power stepped in to tone it down, as Eva Dently was going to leave otherwise.
        Billy Clubs and Lance Corporal stood around menacingly, but it was just for show. Meg A. Phone hit on Jackson Hole. I couldn’t tell if she was getting anywhere. The last to leave were Tex Mex and Dawn Trodden, who had nowhere to go. Cliff Hanger sighed and said he’d be back next year.
Hope Less says to Merri Way that Frank Ly has been on her mind ever since Dana Point hooked up with Tim Id. Bea Serious, overhearing this, scoffs noting that Hy Perbole has been dissuaded from this notion.
          Enter Cliff Hanger, Adam Ant and Murray Hill who were hiding from Colin Oscocopy and Ty Lenol also following the same rumor, but they are shushed by Roman A. Clef who says he knows the real story.
          This occurs at the church social organized by Dawn Patrol. Bill Collector and Donny Brook watch from the periphery. Then comes the shouting: April Fools, Chuck Wagon, Moe Mentum and Ruth Less get into politics: it is a no-win situation. Fortunately, Benedict Ion, with the cunning Bob Cat is able to calm the situation.
          Di Alysis, new to town, chats up Peg Leg and Al Gorhythym, laughing about the antics of ***** Nilly and 2 Dollar Bill but Luke Warm is iffy about what he views.
         Rock Bottom, that sad sack, tries his luck with Miss Matched, getting nowhere and is unhappy to see Ray O’Sunshine barge into the conversation as he orders Mart Ini to join in with Lazy Susan.
         Uh oh, here comes ****** Mary with Mel N. Choley who has the nerve to tell Pete Moss he smells.
         Terri Yaki sits with Will Power who, dieting, will not eat. They sit at the same table as Rich N Glamorous, Patty Melt and Miss Quoted.
         Here’s where it gets weird --- Ben E Fit cannot get away from Polly Amorous who pursues him relentlessly while he tries to put moves on the audacious Bo Dacious.
         Hugh Tensils and the aptly named Nick Named joyously interact with Deb It and Dad Nabit, narrowly escaping a falling chandelier which is prevented from harming anyone by Nick O’Time, who is always in the right place at the right time.
         Ty ****, known for being parsimonious hangs with Corporal Punishment, an unwelcome party crasher
          Ray Gun seeks out Phil Anderer to ask about the latest concoction of his pal Al Chemy, learning that he been experimenting with Joy Ride, Long John and Phil Istine.
          Justice Delayed and Justice Denied sit at separate tables refusing to interact with each other.

— The End —