"kristie" poems
I loved the physical pain,
The touch of the gun putting detail on my skin.
A meaning for my family,
Family is my everything.
The Tree Of Life.
That is my tattoo.
I Smiled ear to ear seeing the finished master piece.
Others might say "why do you have a tree"?
They don't understand the significance of my tattoo.
It's for my aunt Kristie who past away,
From the nasty cancer disease.
Sarcoma was the name.
A tragic thing.
tooken away to soon, for she has six amazing kids.
They feel lost without her,
I feel their pain.
I could never regret my first tattoo.
Aug 8, 2014
Aug 8, 2014 at 1:03 PM UTC
Where is my Mummy?
The terrified child asked, each and every night
Where is my Mummy?
without her I am afraid, please don't turn out the light
Where is my Mummy?
I'm scared...is she alright?
Where is my Mummy??
I am frightened, I need her to hold me tight
Where is my Mummy??
I really do miss her so
Where is my Mummy?
Where did she have to go?
Where is my Mummy?
Why did she not kiss me goodbye?
Where is my Mummy?
tell me please, and this time don't lie
Where has my Mummy gone?
did she leave cos I was naughty? did I do something wrong?
Where is my Mummy?
Tell me, will my Mummy be gone for long?
Doesn't my mummy love me? can she hear me cry?
Why did God choose my Mummy to live with the angels in the sky?
So many kisses & cuddles, yet to give to my Mummy, but now, how can I?
I see no stairway to heaven, and no wings have to fly
Is it because I wasn't a good little girl, Oh how, really hard, I did try
Where is my Mummy??
When will my Mummy be coming back?
Without her love, I am exposed, I am easy to attack
My Mummy did protect me, she made up for that we lack
My Mummy always took so much s**t and she never gave it back
Where are you Mummy??
I search for you everywhere
can you hear me Mummy??
can you hear my heartbroken prayer??
Mummy, Mummy where are you???
Nana said you'd gone to see baby Paul in heaven, is that true??
Grandad said that you were tired and needed a bit of a rest
I asked why didn't mummy have a lie down?? she could have used my bed
Robin sighed, looked straight into my eyes and said "Kristie, our mummy is dead"
The room is spinning Mummy and I feel really, really sick
Come and kiss me better Mummy, I really need you
Mummy please come now, I beg you, come quick
but in my heart, I know, my Mummy isn't coming back
My Mummy really has gone
I don't have a Mummy - She couldn't keep fighting on
I have nothing, I have no one - Maternal Love went wrong
I tell everyone and anyone - I don't have a Mummy anymore
I cry and cry for my Mummy - until my eyes and throat are sore, red raw
but it doesn't do me any good, Mummy doesn't live with us anymore
and gone are Mummy's hugs, kisses & smiles galore
Goodnight Mummy, I hope that you have a really nice sleep
I will always love you Mummy, and your memory alive, I shall keep
I promise you Mummy, I shall try not to cry
For your star I shall seek, wishing & wondering why
I blow to you and Baby Paul many kisses, Mummy
I blow them hard and way up high
I shall see you again, one day mummy
To you I will not ever, say goodbye
So many years have passed now Mummy,
Since you had to go away
and your only daughter still misses you
and needs you, each and every single day
I have to ask you though Mummy -
cos still on mind it does play
Why Mummy?? Why??
Why did you go away?
Why, Mummy, why?? -
Did you not love me enough to stay??
Apr 15, 2014
Apr 15, 2014 at 4:17 PM UTC
MY LIGHTBULB MOMENT (Spiritual Awakening) BY KRISTIE TOWNSEND
5 July 2012 at 21:38
MY LIGHTBULB MOMENT BY KRISTIE TOWNSEND
Be careful what you wish for
for one day it may come true
I used to jest about my wishes
in a time before I discovered, just what Magick can do
Karma, I didn't really think that much of
and I'd never even heard of 'The Threefold Law'
didn't pay any attention to spirits
and I'd never considered that I may have been here before!
What the heck's 'The Wiccan Rede"?
Is it something I want or need??!!
So what if I should harm someone
Has this not before, to me, been done??
Why would anyone believe in what can't be touched nor seen?
In Perfect Love? And In Perfect Trust??
What's That supposed to mean??
And why should I read some poetry Written by a woman called Doreen??
Then In my light bulb moment, as quick as a flash!
I thought 'Now I see what the fuss is all about'
and at that very second, for Magick I fell hard and fast!
Saddened for a minute, thinking of what Joy so far I'd lived with out!
My only regret is that I didn't discover sooner, universal energy,
I should have walked this path long before now
For Magick and its power, have opened my eyes - OH and How??!! WOW
Some people think I'm weird,
Others think i'm mad
I came out of my spiritual broom closet
and for that I'm so very glad!
I'm looking forward to my future
with wide and enthusiastic eyes
long gone are empty days all alone
no more sleepless nights, filled with self-pitying cries
I'm the happiest that I have ever been
Thanks to energies that remain untouched, unseen
IN PERFECT LOVE & IN PERFECT TRUST
I will follow My Destiny, My Heart, My Dreams - I MUST!
by Kristie Townsend 12.11.08
Sep 23, 2016
Sep 23, 2016 at 2:56 PM UTC
cutting ties that bind - by Kristie
So I cut myself with a knife
just to see if I can still feel any thing in this pathetic life
But I feel nothing at all
as I watch my crimsom blood fall
I score my skin, deeper and deeper, push the knife in
nothing..... not even a sting...absolutely nothing
I fantically seek a virginal place I can carve, cut away my hate
self loathing, disgust, as I look at myself, what a ******* state
Waiting to faint, as my blood seeps and escapes
but as if mocking me, I have to wait
relief comes at a price, a deadly cost
and reminds me of all that i've lost
tired and sleepy, waiting for death to collect me
I've planned for no one to save me, finally be free
one last slice, just to ensure
deep across artery, my blood pumps no more
Sep 25, 2016
Sep 25, 2016 at 10:55 PM UTC
Where is my Mummy?
Where is my Mummy?
The terrified child asked, each and every night
Where is my Mummy?
without her I am afraid, please don't turn out the light
Where is my Mummy?
I'm scared...is she alright?
Where is my Mummy??
I am frightened, I need her to hold me tight
Where is my Mummy??
I really do miss her so
Where is my Mummy?
Where did she have to go?
Where is my Mummy?
Why did she not kiss me goodbye?
Where is my Mummy?
tell me please, and this time don't lie
Where has my Mummy gone?
did she leave cos I was naughty? did I do something wrong?
Where is my Mummy?
Tell me, will my Mummy be gone for long?
Doesn't my mummy love me? can she hear me cry?
Why did God choose my Mummy to live with the angels in the sky?
So many kisses & cuddles, yet to give to my Mummy, but now, how can I?
I see no stairway to heaven, and no wings have to fly
Is it because I wasn't a good little girl, Oh how, really hard, I did try
Where is my Mummy??
When will my Mummy be coming back?
Without her love, I am exposed, I am easy to attack
My Mummy did protect me, she made up for that we lack
My Mummy always took so much s**t and she never gave it back
Where are you Mummy??
I search for you everywhere
can you hear me Mummy??
can you hear my heartbroken prayer??
Mummy, Mummy where are you???
Nana said you'd gone to see baby Paul in heaven, is that true??
Grandad said that you were tired and needed a bit of a rest
I asked why didn't mummy have a lie down?? she could have used my bed
Robin sighed, looked straight into my eyes and said "Kristie, our mummy is dead"
The room is spinning Mummy and I feel really, really sick
Come and kiss me better Mummy, I really need you
Mummy please come now, I beg you, come quick
but in my heart, I know, my Mummy isn't coming back
My Mummy really has gone
I don't have a Mummy - She couldn't keep fighting on
I have nothing, I have no one - Maternal Love went wrong
I tell everyone and anyone - I don't have a Mummy anymore
I cry and cry for my Mummy - until my eyes and throat are sore, red raw
but it doesn't do me any good, Mummy doesn't live with us anymore
and gone are Mummy's hugs, kisses & smiles galore
Goodnight Mummy, I hope that you have a really nice sleep
I will always love you Mummy, and your memory alive, I shall keep
I promise you Mummy, I shall try not to cry
For your star I shall seek, wishing & wondering why
I blow to you and Baby Paul many kisses, Mummy
I blow them hard and way up high
I shall see you again, one day mummy
To you I will not ever, say goodbye
So many years have passed now Mummy,
Since you had to go away
and your only daughter still misses you
and needs you, each and every single day
I have to ask you though Mummy -
cos still on mind it does play
Why Mummy?? Why??
Why did you go away?
Why, Mummy, why?? -
Did you not love me enough to stay??
In Memory of My Mummy, SYLVIA LUCY LEDWITH (RIP 17.06.81)
#suicide #dying #death
Sep 23, 2016
Sep 23, 2016 at 2:13 PM UTC
D.N.A RESULTS by Kristie Townsend (23.07.07)
patiently I wait for the pain to stop
for blackness to overwhelm my fractious senses
for death to soothe my destroyed emotions
for eternal silence to end my indifferent pretenses
but even drug induced comas
or the gift of life, twice
leaving my children, or those whom proclaim to care
are enough of an incentive for me to wish to remain here
I lost my daddy, Eric, Mr T
I betrayed myself, I fell apart
I believed the DNA results would set me free
instead they broke my fragile heart
But the universe and life unfolds as indeed it should
although not always as I would like or desire
and one day, when I look back
Im sure Ill be glad that It wasnt my time to expire
Sep 25, 2016
Sep 25, 2016 at 5:53 PM UTC
24.07.07 - by Kristie Townsend
3 October 2009 at 17:36
In a darkened pit
a space in which I seem to fit
despair, fear, my escorts here
and paranoia chased hard at my rear
been given a label
a title, of which I am quite able
to stick upon my frowning forehead
whilst still wishing I was dead
suicidial emotions
irrational words spoken
secret ritual, daily self harm
like starvation and cutting my arm
plaster on that fake grin
take it all on my chin
never to surrender, never to give in
for I am merely another child borne of sin
Sep 27, 2016
Sep 27, 2016 at 9:13 PM UTC
The Final Goodbye - Written By Kristie Townsend
5 July 2012 at 21:27
ITS TIME
This is it
The end of the line
I knew that the day would eventually come
When I got that call, it was time
The Can of Worms opened
The fear, The pain -
and all other unexpected emotions provoked
On the stench of death I nearly choked
Who do I now share with?
Who will hear my grief?
How will I ever heal?
on my own again Is my belief
I will see you in The Summerland
I will say Goodbye for now, Hold you tight
Share with you precious final moments
no matter who argues, whatever the fight
My regrets are plenty
my memories few
but at least I can say
that I do have some with you
This is my final line to you
My chance to lay to rest the past
I feel grief, sad and blue and also
as though I always came last
by Kristie Townsend (04.04.07)
Written in memory of My maternal Grandma, Kath Ledwith who passed away the day before. She suffered a very long, painful, agonising passing, May Her Un-tamed and Unconventional spirit now be at peace, free to roam, free from pain, free from the many hardships she encountered on the earthly plane. May the Goddess Love and Guide you Nana. Love you *** (P.S. I miss your Trifles!)
Sep 23, 2016
Sep 23, 2016 at 2:54 PM UTC
Love causes confusion, written by Kristie Townsend (09.04.07)
6 July 2012 at 00:15
LOVE CAUSES CONFUSION..........
I CAN'T SLEEP TONIGHT, BECAUSE YOUR NOT HERE YOU HAVE A HOME,
A LIFE OF YOUR OWN WITHOUT STRONG ARMS TO PULL ME NEAR
I FEEL ABANDONED & AFRAID, CONSUMED BY FEAR
"I'LL RETURN SOON, HONEST"
THATS WHAT YOU SAID YOU'D DO
"TRUST AND BELIEVE IN ME, BABE"
AND I HALF-HEARTEDLY TRIED, HONEST, ITS TRUE!
MY SENSES STIR AND MY SOUL AWAKENS
EVERYTIME YOU WALK IN THE ROOM
MY DEFENCES ARE DOWN, MY FOUNDATIONS SHAKEN
AS I BEG YOU "PLEASE, COME TO ME SOON"
A PHYSICAL PAIN, THAT IS WHAT I FEEL
WHEN YOU ARE NO LONGER HERE
MY ADDICTION AND DEPENDANCY ARE REAL
"OUR LOVE" BEING JEPODISED BY "MY FEAR"
"OLD DESTRUCTIVE HABITS DIE HARD" SAY THE CONSTANT VOICES IN MY HEAD
THEY LEAVE MY EMOTIONS, MY HEART SCARRED & LONELINESS IS ALLEVIATED BY ANALYSING ALL THAT YOU SAID.
I TRUELY HAVE NEVER GIVEN MYSELF TO ANOTHER, AS I DO TO YOU SOUL MATES, BEST FRIENDS, LOVERS
I REALLY WANT TO SEE THIS THROUGH
I BELIEVE THAT YOU DESERVE BETTER,
I CAN NEVER BE ENOUGH FOR YOU
I WOULD WRITE YOU A "DEAR JOHN" LETTER
BUT I CANNOT, FOR IT SIMPLY WOULD NOT BE TRUE
I AM A FOUNTAIN OF SOPPY SENTIMENT
WHEN I THINK OF OR SEE YOU
PREVIOUSLY FULL OF RESENTMENT
NOW I'M FILLED WITH SELF DOUBT & WHO YOU MAY *****
I HOPE THAT YOU ARE A BIG BRAVE LION
COS I'M SCARED ENOUGH FOR TWO
I PRAY YOU'RE MADE OF STRONGER STUFF THAN I AM
FOR I FEEL WEAK, HELPLESS & ALL ASKEW
THE CONFLICTING SWIRL OF EMOTIONS
I HAVE DEEP WITHIN MY CORE
ARE MOST LIKELY TO CAUSE A COMMOTION
IF I SHOULD DARE TO DREAM OF MORE
I PRAY DAILY THAT WE STAY TOGETHER
IF NOT FOR A YEAR OR MORE
HOWEVER MY CYNICISM KNOWS BETTER
MY PREVIOUS EXPERIENCES PREDICT THE FINAL SCORE
I MEAN IT WHEN I TELL YOU THIS,
FOR WORDS ARE ALL THAT I HAVE,
YOU GET THE JIST?
I THINK THAT I'M FALLING IN LUST WITH YOU
AND NO I'M NOT TAKING THE ****
I THANK YOU FOR ALL YOU HAVE GIVEN ME
WHICH IS A LOT, MORE THAN I KNOW
I LOVE, HONOUR, RESPECT & CHERISH YOU
WELL AT LEAST UNTIL THE DAY YOU GO!
Sep 23, 2016
Sep 23, 2016 at 2:51 PM UTC
FOR MY FRIEND.........By kristie Townsend 31.10.09
31 October 2009 at 22:06
I have a friend
my love for her, has no end
through all of the good stuff, and some times that are bad
she proves to me, that she is the bestest friend that I ever had
through all the laughter, and and all the tears
through the passing of the seasons, and of the years
we share with each other all of our hopes, dreams and fears
United, together we confront adversity if it nears
Through thick and through thin
at times when we lose and the triumphs that we win
my friend has been my constant companion, she is strong at my side
She provides all of the tissues, to mop up the tears that I've cried
Petty squabbles and arguements are only a temporary divide
all feelings of anger and annoyance are quick to subside
this poem is for you, my way of saying THANKS
this poem is for my mate ...............................??? you fill in the blanks!!
Sep 25, 2016
Sep 25, 2016 at 4:46 PM UTC
here to go from here?
Nowhere, is my greatest fear
Old habits die hard
Even harder for the emotionally scarred
Whom should I trust?
Will I know the differenence between love and lust?
Should I find 'that man', My Dad, the one I never had
Will it make me, finally, happy? or only, feel more sad?
What does my future hold for Kristie?
from ties that bind, will I finally be set free?
Will I ever meet a man I want to let close, & show him the real me?
Will I ever find true love? will it ever happen to this assertive, scary lady?
I feel as though I am in limbo
I don't know in which direction to go
Trying not to be inpatient, taking it slow
Searching for signs, for my purpose, I do not yet, know
said goodbye to some old faces
cya to some friends I thought I could trust
spend my time visiting lots of new places
keeping my head as ERIC free as I can, JUST!
welcomed into my life, Craig, Julie and Co
I love them like my family, I want the world to know
and from out of dark despair, when I thought there was no one there
Our Love, Respect, Appreciation for one and other, gets stronger and continues to grow
They chose me as their sister, a choice some others didn't get!
They truely love me, no matter, whatever the test results said
I think of them and they of me, each and everyday
Always honest, forever true, they never push me away
So some good has come from the bad
Happier times now begin, following on from the sad
Smiles returning slowly, but surely, look carefully
Starting to feel better, finally, and less poorly, Thankfully
Jul 9, 2017
Jul 9, 2017 at 1:34 PM UTC
Escape Plan (by Kristie Ledwith Townsend)
17 May 2012 at 06:39
I feel no pain,as I slice myself again
all I feel is numb, dumb, brains gone
disgust and loathing at myself, shame
not a chance of laughter, long gone, my fun.
when was the last time I laughed?
really giggled? until I could no longer catch my breathe?
when did I last let loose? Carefree?
when was my sarcasim, last at its best? dreft?
I look at myself in the mirror, what do I see?
who is that? eyes dead? lifeless, staring back at me?
when hollow, insincere words escape empty shell
I pray that today, I finally leave this life, my self imposed hell.
I've planned it now, my final goodbye
down to the very last letter, not even a half arsed try
yes I am thinking of my children, yes I am thinking of you
You'd be better off without me, without the damage you know I'd do
please do not save me, not this time
I want to meet my maker, I want to converse with the divine
I no longer wish to merely exsist, not on this earthly plane
No more shame, nor blame, not in this 'Townsend' name
I am being selfless, not selfish, please ,please see
I am thinking of us all, and not just pathetic ole me
Please don't mourn for something filled with age old scourn
For I will be glad, to no longer be , an involuntary Pawn.
I shall smile at the gates of heaven
if indeed that is my intended destination
pain gone, carefree, just me
finally I can be the spirit I've always wanted to be
if you think me selfish, if you think me bad
save that energy for something more productive
for someone who'll be glad you had
for that is a wasted emotion on me, I am not sad,
for at last feeling free, How I always wanted to be.......
Just me.......Kristie
Sep 23, 2016
Sep 23, 2016 at 3:04 PM UTC
ITS ALL DONE NOW - BY KRISTIE T -12TH APRIL 2007
6 July 2012 at 01:04
ITS ALL DONE NOW, OUR LOVE IS GONE
BITTER SWEET, INTERNALISED PAIN FOR TOO LONG
TO ME IT FELT RIGHT, TO YOU IT FELT WRONG
ITS ALL DONE NOW, ITS ALL GONE
FEAR, PANIC, PARANOIA WON OUT
NO NEED FOR US TO SCREAM OR SHOUT
FOR YOU WALKED, NO, RAN OUT
BEFORE YOU REALLY KNEW WHAT I WAS ABOUT
ITS ALL DONE NOW
OH AND HOW, FOR LOVE, YOU DID NOT ALLOW
AND WE BOTH FELL FOUL
TO OUR FEARS FROM THE PAST, NOT WHAT IS HERE AND NOW
ITS ALL DONE NOW, NO MORE TEARS, NO MORE CRYING
YOU'VE GIVEN UP ON ME, GIVEN UP ON TRYING
I ASK, HAVE YOU ALSO GIVEN UP ON SMILING?
YOU'LL NEVER SEE, THAT DEEP INSIDE OF ME I'M DYING
AVERT YOUR EYES, NO MORE QUESTIONS, PLEASE STOP PRYING.
ITS ALL DONE NOW AND I FEEL WEAK
MY FIERY SOUL UNCHARACTERISTICALLY SUBSERIVANT AND MEEK
FOR IT WANTS TO GIVE MY WOUNDED HEART THE FREEDOM TO SEEK
TRUTH & LOVE, ALTHOUGH RIGHT NOW, THE PROSPECTS SEEM BLEAK
ITS ALL DONE NOW, NO RAW EMOTION LEFT TO SHARE
I'LL KEEP IT LOCKED INSIDE, SEEMINGLY NOT HAVING A CARE
BUT LATE AT NIGHT, I AM HAUNTED, TAUNTED & YOU ARE WHERE?!
I ANALYSE, BLAME, FULL OF REGRET & CONTINUALLY ASK -"DID I PLAY FAIR?"
ITS ALL DONE NOW, THAT WAS THE FINAL FAREWELL
MY VERY CORE, MY ALL, MY HEART BEING TORTURED IN HELL
I SHALL TAKE TIME TO HEAL, FEEL, RETREAT INTO CRABBY SHELL
WHEN, IN TIMES YET TO COME, & I BUMP INTO YOU, MY EYES HIDE MY PAIN WELL
FOR ITS A HUGE AND BLATENT LIE THAT I'M TRYING TO SELL
PRETENDING I'VE RECOVERED, MOVED ON, FROM THAT SPELL OF WHICH I ONCE FELL
ITS ALL DONE NOW
AND TIME IS A GREAT HEALER, OR THATS WHAT SOMEONE ONCE TOLD ME
I WISH I COULD TRAVEL INTO THE FUTURE AND FIND MYSELF HAPPY AND FREE
BUT AT THIS MOMENT OF WRITING, I''M STILL WISHING YOU WERE HERE WITH ME
I WISH YOU COULD SEE
JUST HOW GREAT LIFE COULD BE
IF ONLY YOU COULD HAVE BELIEVED AND TRUSTED IN ME
MY LOVE WOULD HAVE SET YOUR SOUL FREE
BUT SADLY YOU DID NOT ALLOW
AND SO I HAVE TO REPEAT OUT LOUD
THATS IT, ITS ALL DONE NOW
YOU ARE ONCE MORE JUST A NAMELESS FACE IN A CROWD
ITS ALL DONE NOW
SHOUT IT OUT LOUD
KRISTIE BE PROUD
YOU CAN TURN THIS AROUND
ON DAY HE'LL SEE JUST WHAT HE HAD FOUND
WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN HIS, IF ONLY HIS HEART HAD ALLOWED
ITS GONE -ITS ALL DONE NOW
LET GO - LEARN & GROW -FOR YOU KNOW
ITS ALL DONE - ALL GONE
Sep 23, 2016
Sep 23, 2016 at 1:53 PM UTC