kristie-townsend
Fully trained and qualified Holistic therapist, Beauty therapist, Counsellor, Tarot Reader & Lecturer. Specialised in teaching & mentoring students aged 13 - 19 years old. I enjoy poetry & writing. / https://www.facebook.com/HolisticHealthHealerLeicester / http://www.pinterest.com/fieryred1973/
I spoke, you watched my lips move, but you never really listened.
You heard the words that left my mouth but you didn't take the time to understand them
You saw the sadness in my eyes, the tears that welled in them. But you were too busy tending your own worries.
You felt the hurt in the way I spoke but you ignored it. Making me feel worse.
You never knew who I was. You'd already decided. I walked away from you and you let me because you didn't care enough to make me stay.
Apr 15, 2014
Apr 15, 2014 at 4:22 PM UTC
I SEE YOU NOW, AS NEVER BEFORE
I TASTE CONTEMPT, SWALLOW IT DOWN RAW
WANTING, NEEDING TO SETTLE THE SCORE
TIME WILL TELL, WHO REALLY IS ********
YOU THINK YOU’RE “ALL THAT”
YOUR ACTUALLY PERCEIVED AS A ****
A DICKHEAD'S DOORMAT
***** SWALLOW! IT WON'T MAKE YOU FAT!"
YOU PLACE YOUR BABIES IN DANGER
FOR A BRIEF DALLIANCE WITH A STRANGER
NOT UNIQUE BEHAVIOUR
YOU OFTEN TRADE FLATTERY FOR A ****** FAVOUR
EASILY LED, INTO NEXT MAN'S BED
***** ALIVE, MORALS DEAD
BELIEVING EVERY DRUNK WORD THAT IS SAID
WHILST PRETENDING NOT TO NOTICE RECURRING THOUGHTS IN YOUR MESSED UP HEAD
IF YOU CONTINUE
YOU'LL ALWAYS BE DICTATED TO
JUST ANOTHER RANDOM, EASY *****
LEFT FEELING LONELY, USED AND BLUE
IF YOU COULD TAKE A STEP AWAY
IF YOU ACTUALLY LISTENED TO WHAT YOUR CONSCIENCE HAS TO SAY
YOU'D BE SURPRISED AT THE WAY
YOUR NEON SIGN FLASHES - 'EASY PREY'
WAVE GOODBYE TO YOUR SONS, TWO LIVES TORN
JUST AS YOUR FIRST BORN
THE ONE YOU CLAIM TO MOURN,
TOO LATE NOW, APRON STRINGS FRAYED AND WORN
SAY GOODBYE TO TRUE LOVE
COS LABELS STICK FOR GOOD
YOU WANT TO BELIEVE THAT YOU'RE MISUNDERSTOOD
NO DEAR, YOU'RE JUST ANOTHER 'HO FROM THE HOOD'
I FEEL SORRY FOR YOU NOW, YOU’RE NOT TO BLAME
YOU HAVE BEEN MANIPULATED, USED FOR SOMEONE ELSE'S GAIN
SOUL BROKEN, SPIRIT BRUISED
CONSTANTLY IN EMOTIONAL PAIN
YOU HAVE NO DIRECTION IN LIFE
EXCEPT CAUSING DRAMA AND STRIFE
THE ONLY TOPIC OF CONVERSATION BETWEEN YOU & YOUR CREW
IS, WHO IS NEXT ON THE LIST, TO **** OVER & *****
YOU USE WHITE POWDER TO NUMB YOUR PAIN
WAKE THE NEXT DAY, HANG YOUR HEAD IN SHAME
OPEN A CAN, **** ANOTHER MAN, UPSET WHO YOU CAN
LIVING A LIE, YOUR LIFE IS A SHAM
YOU NEED A NEW PLAN - AS QUICK AS YOU CAN!
ARGUMENTATIVE, INSTIGATING THE NEXT ROW
I'M ASHAMED TO ADMIT THAT I EVEN KNOW YOU,
LET ALONE HOW
YOU MAKE MY SKIN CRAWL, I FEEL SICK NOW
YOUR LESSON, IS SIMPLY LONG OVER DUE
YOU HAVE NO SELF RESPECT LEFT AT ALL
IF WHAT I HAVE BEEN TOLD IS FOR REAL
YOU ATTEMPTED TO MAKE ME LOOK SMALL
LOOK YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR, HOW DOES IT FEEL?
TURN YOURSELF AROUND, BEFORE ITS TOO LATE
AND THE PEOPLE THAT LOVE YOU, REPLACE IT WITH HATE
REPETITIVE CYCLE, ON THIN ICE YOU SKATE
YOU'LL BE DISOWNED, ALL ALONE, - STALEMATE
YOU ARE A ******* STATE, LOSING EVEN MORE WEIGHT - FATAL MISTAKE
ONCE MORE YOUR BABIES, FOR THEIR MUMMY, THEY PATIENTLY WAIT
HOPING THAT TODAY THERE IS FOOD ON THEIR PLATE
AND THAT THEY DO NOT HAVE TO SHARE, WITH DRUNKS OFF THE ESTATE
YOUR BABIES THEY NEED THEIR MUMMY
AND HEALTHY FOOD IN THEIR TUMMY
UNLIKELY COS THEIR DINNER MONEY ON ***** YOU SPENT
AND DRUNKEN ANGER & ANGST ON THEM, YOU WILL VENT
WHAT WILL IT TAKE?
FOR YOU TO SEE & ADMIT THE MISTAKE?
HOW LONG BEFORE YOU BREAK?
HOW LONG, TIL THE NEXT GREAT ESCAPE?
WHEN WILL YOU REALISE, THAT IT IS ALL ROTTEN?
WHEN YOU WAKE UP AND ADMIT, YOU'VE HIT ROCK BOTTOM
Apr 15, 2014
Apr 15, 2014 at 4:19 PM UTC
Where is my Mummy?
The terrified child asked, each and every night
Where is my Mummy?
without her I am afraid, please don't turn out the light
Where is my Mummy?
I'm scared...is she alright?
Where is my Mummy??
I am frightened, I need her to hold me tight
Where is my Mummy??
I really do miss her so
Where is my Mummy?
Where did she have to go?
Where is my Mummy?
Why did she not kiss me goodbye?
Where is my Mummy?
tell me please, and this time don't lie
Where has my Mummy gone?
did she leave cos I was naughty? did I do something wrong?
Where is my Mummy?
Tell me, will my Mummy be gone for long?
Doesn't my mummy love me? can she hear me cry?
Why did God choose my Mummy to live with the angels in the sky?
So many kisses & cuddles, yet to give to my Mummy, but now, how can I?
I see no stairway to heaven, and no wings have to fly
Is it because I wasn't a good little girl, Oh how, really hard, I did try
Where is my Mummy??
When will my Mummy be coming back?
Without her love, I am exposed, I am easy to attack
My Mummy did protect me, she made up for that we lack
My Mummy always took so much s**t and she never gave it back
Where are you Mummy??
I search for you everywhere
can you hear me Mummy??
can you hear my heartbroken prayer??
Mummy, Mummy where are you???
Nana said you'd gone to see baby Paul in heaven, is that true??
Grandad said that you were tired and needed a bit of a rest
I asked why didn't mummy have a lie down?? she could have used my bed
Robin sighed, looked straight into my eyes and said "Kristie, our mummy is dead"
The room is spinning Mummy and I feel really, really sick
Come and kiss me better Mummy, I really need you
Mummy please come now, I beg you, come quick
but in my heart, I know, my Mummy isn't coming back
My Mummy really has gone
I don't have a Mummy - She couldn't keep fighting on
I have nothing, I have no one - Maternal Love went wrong
I tell everyone and anyone - I don't have a Mummy anymore
I cry and cry for my Mummy - until my eyes and throat are sore, red raw
but it doesn't do me any good, Mummy doesn't live with us anymore
and gone are Mummy's hugs, kisses & smiles galore
Goodnight Mummy, I hope that you have a really nice sleep
I will always love you Mummy, and your memory alive, I shall keep
I promise you Mummy, I shall try not to cry
For your star I shall seek, wishing & wondering why
I blow to you and Baby Paul many kisses, Mummy
I blow them hard and way up high
I shall see you again, one day mummy
To you I will not ever, say goodbye
So many years have passed now Mummy,
Since you had to go away
and your only daughter still misses you
and needs you, each and every single day
I have to ask you though Mummy -
cos still on mind it does play
Why Mummy?? Why??
Why did you go away?
Why, Mummy, why?? -
Did you not love me enough to stay??
Apr 15, 2014
Apr 15, 2014 at 4:17 PM UTC
I've learned -
that you cannot make someone love you.
All you can do is be someone who can be loved.
The rest is up to them.
I've learned -
that no matter how much I care,
some people just don't care back.
I've learned -
that it takes years to build up trust,
and only seconds to destroy it.
I've learned -
that it's not what you have in your life
but who you have in your life that counts.
I've learned -
that you can get by on charm
for about fifteen minutes.
After that, you'd better know something.
I've learned -
that you shouldn't compare
yourself to the best others can do.
but to the best you can do.
I've learned -
that it's not what happens to people
that's important. It's what they do about it.
I've learned -
that you can do something in an instant
that will give you heartache for life.
I've learned -
that no matter how thin you slice it,
there are always two sides.
I've learned -
that it's taking me a long time
to become the person I want to be.
I've learned -
that it's a lot easier
to react than it is to think.
I've learned -
that you should always leave
loved ones with loving words.
It may be the last time you see them.
I've learned -
that you can keep going
long after you think you can't.
I've learned -
that we are responsible for what we do,
no matter how we feel.
I've learned -
that either you control your attitude
or it controls you.
I've learned -
that regardless of how hot and steamy
a relationship is at first,
the passion fades and there had better be
something else to take its place.
I've learned -
that heroes are the people
who do what has to be done
when it needs to be done,
regardless of the consequences.
I've learned -
that learning to forgive takes practice.
I've learned -
that there are people who love you dearly,
but just don't know how to show it.
I've learned -
that money is a lousy way of keeping score.
I've learned -
that my best friend and I can do anything
or nothing and have the best time.
I've learned -
that sometimes the people you expect
to kick you when you're down
will be the ones to help you get back up.
I've learned -
that sometimes when I'm angry
I have the right to be angry,
but that doesn't give me
the right to be cruel.
I've learned -
that true friendship continues to grow,
even over the longest distance.
Same goes for true love.
I've learned -
that just because someone doesn't love you
the way you want them to doesn't mean
they don't love you with all they have.
I've learned -
that maturity has more to do with
what types of experiences you've had
and what you've learned from them
and less to do with how many
birthdays you've celebrated.
I've learned -
that you should never tell a child
their dreams are unlikely or outlandish.
Few things are more humiliating, and
what a tragedy it would be if they believed it.
I've learned -
that your family won't always
be there for you. It may seem funny,
but people you aren't related to
can take care of you and love you
and teach you to trust people again.
Families aren't biological.
I've learned -
that no matter how good a friend is,
they're going to hurt you
every once in a while
and you must forgive them for that.
I've learned -
that it isn't always enough
to be forgiven by others.
Sometimes you have to learn
to forgive yourself.
I've learned -
that no matter how bad
your heart is broken
the world doesn't stop for your grief.
I've learned -
that our background and circumstances
may have influenced who we are,
but we are responsible for who we become.
I've learned -
that sometimes when my friends fight,
I'm forced to choose sides
even when I don't want to.
I've learned -
that just because two people argue,
it doesn't mean they don't love each other
And just because they don't argue,
it doesn't mean they do.
I've learned -
that sometimes you have to put
the individual ahead of their actions.
I've learned -
that we don't have to change friends
if we understand that friends change.
I've learned -
that you shouldn't be so
eager to find out a secret.
It could change your life forever.
I've learned -
that two people can look
at the exact same thing
and see something totally different.
I've learned -
that no matter how you try to protect
your children, they will eventually get hurt
and you will hurt in the process.
I've learned -
that there are many ways of falling
and staying in love.
I've learned -
that no matter the consequences,
those who are honest with themselves
get farther in life.
I've learned -
that no matter how many friends you have,
if you are their pillar you will feel lonely
and lost at the times you need them most.
I've learned -
that your life can be changed
in a matter of hours
by people who don't even know you.
I've learned -
that even when you think
you have no more to give,
when a friend cries out to you,
you will find the strength to help.
I've learned -
that writing, as well as talking,
can ease emotional pains.
I've learned -
that the paradigm we live in
is not all that is offered to us.
I've learned -
that credentials on the wall
do not make you a decent human being.
I've learned -
that the people you care most about in life
are taken from you too soon.
I've learned -
that although the word “love”
can have many different meanings,
it loses value when overly used.
I've learned -
that it's hard to determine
where to draw the line
between being nice and
not hurting people's feelings
and standing up for what you believe.
Apr 15, 2014
Apr 15, 2014 at 4:16 PM UTC
CUTTING THE TIES THAT BIND
So I cut myself with a knife
just to see if I can still feel anything in this pathetic life
But I feel nothing at all
as I watch my crimson blood fall
I score my skin, deeper and deeper, push the knife in
nothing..... not even a sting...absolutely nothing
I frantically seek a virginal place I can carve, cut away my hate
self loathing, disgust, as I look at myself, what a ******* state
Waiting to faint, as my blood seeps and escapes
but as if mocking me, I have to wait
relief comes at a price, a deadly cost
and reminds me of all that i've lost
tired and sleepy, waiting for death to collect me
I've planned for no one to save me, finally be free
one last slice, just to ensure
deep across artery, my blood pumps no more
Apr 15, 2014
Apr 15, 2014 at 4:15 PM UTC