katamu, aku hanya butuh percaya.
katamu, aku tak perlu menyita waktuku dengan adanya kamu di tiap detikku.
katamu, aku pun sudah fasih memahami isi kepalamu.
dan, ya, aku memilih untuk percaya.

nyatanya, tidak semudah bak sang matahari yang rela menyembunyikan teriknya sepanjang malam untuk memikat sang bulan.
kamu hanya tidak tahu seberapa dalam lukaku, kemarin.
kamu hanya tidak tahu seberapa besar rasa sakitku, hingga saat ini.

entah bagaimana,
entah karena apa,
terbesit oleh pikirmu untuk melakukan itu.

apa ini karenaku?
atau memang suratan takdir untukku?
bagaimana dengan semua katamu?
bagaimana dengan semua percayaku?
semukah?

Daun kuning berjatuhan
Angin dingin menghantarkan salam dari Tuhan
Aku melihat pepohonan yang menari
Semua tampak indah menyejukkan hati

Aku hanya diam..
Diam tak tahu harus kemana
Kabut putih menutup mataku
Mendorongku yang berdiri terpaku
Imajinasiku kabur
Aku akan jatuh

Dan...

Dimanakah aku?
Diruangan serba putih aku terbangun
Menatap dengan pandangan memudar
Siapakah kamu?
Gadis kecil berlari dan tertawa
Berlari menjatuhkan bunga-bunga
Membuka pintu diujung ruangan

Aku berjalan...
Berjalan membuka pintu yang sama

Wanita cantik berambut pirang
Cantik rupawan mengalahkan Godiva
Seorang gadis kecil memeluknya erat

Dia...
Dia yang selama ini kucari
Dia yang selama ini kunanti

Aku mencoba...
Mencoba untuk menyentuhnya
Jari-jarinya yang ramping menepisku
Aku berpikir dia membenciku
Namun tidak
tidak...
Dia berkata padaku,
"Kembalilah, ini belum saatnya"

Kematian bernegosiasi dengan kemungkinan
Kemungkinan untuk meraih kehidupan
Di alam bawah sadar
Aku akan kembali menemukannya

-Kediri, 18 Maret 2018

Ahh, judul...
Kuliat ia akhir-akhir ini begitu menyebalkan
Begitu merangah, berusaha mencolok
Aku tidak yakin dia melakukannya dengan tidak sadar
Aku tahu dia menginginkan sesuatu

Kuasa!
Aha, itu sudah pasti kuasa
Kuliat ia begitu sombong hanya karena posisinya yang sedikit diatas
Memandang rendah kata-kata serumpun yang ada di bawahnya
Acuh melihat titik dan koma yang baginya tak ada apa-apanya

Hanya karena font yang sedikit tebal dan size yang agak besar
Membuat masyarakat kata memilihnya untuk mewakili suara mereka
Pun merasa tak sebanding dengan apa yang dimiliki ‘Si Congkak’ itu
Kata merasa rendah, titik koma tak berdaya
Dan mereka... Kalah atas kedaulatannya sendiri

Padahal judul hanya tak sadar
Bahwa kuasa yang dimilikinya itu bukan karena dirinya sendiri
Ia lahir karena keresahan kata
Yang terombang-ambing bagai kapal di ganasnya lautan
Menggantung bagai kepompong, terpenjara dalam ketidaksempurnaan
Melayang-layang bak daun jatuh ditiup angin, tak tentu arah
Mendambakan hidup yang bahagia dan tenteram untuk merdeka

Karena ketakutan kata-lah
Judul hadir sebagai jawaban
Agar kata dilirik pembaca
Agar kata digunakan dalam ruang diskusi
Agar kata hidup dalam kepala
Mengakar kokoh dan menjadi abadi

Judul adalah cerminan pemimpin di negeri ini
Seperti kacang yang acuh pada kulit, lupa diri
Bahwa dirinya ada untuk mendengar keresahan
Bukannya malah menjadi dalang kerusuhan
Bahwa dirinya ada untuk mengerti suara yang dimarjinalkan
Bukannya malah membuang muka, lalu lantas pergi meninggalkan

Lihatlah ibu yang telah melahirkan
Yang terpinggirkan mengandung harapan
Yang menanti dengan merapal doa disetiap malam
Anak baik jadilah baik
Wahai kalian yang duduk manis di kursi tahta

Bangkitlah!
Kata-kata dan rakyat jelata yang dipandang sebelah mata
Mendengarlah!
Wahai judul "Si Congkak" juga para pemimpin negeri yang berlagak sok kuasa

Mine drukne indvolde afskyr deres beholder.
Gennem nervebanen sendes stødende gnister af had.
Hvor vil de overbevise og kalder på den sødmede gift
hvor vil de have dens spreden af koma lignende afkom.

Først ubehagen,
så oppustet smerte der brister som en ballon
og brændsel med selvantændelige kræfter.
Den springer og opkast omsluger horisonten
af mennesker,
klipper,
udviskede farver.

Ujævne striber af rød er udfyldte billeder
der drypper en anelse ro på mine øjne,
det leder
det fører
ind gennem nervebanens flod.

To mørke eller fire
i hvert fald én
gør døsig
gør modig
gør opgivenhed
udholdenhed.

De dage der kommer er vel taget imod
i skrigen og styrke og tomhedens sod.

Selskrevne ord fordamper salt.
Efterladt,
afsluttet,
genfortalt
i latterlige evig kedsomhed
der udfylder fyldte *** af bevidsthed
hvor pladsmanglens rod eliminerer sig selv.
Usammenhængende lort skaber lyrik
gør intet som helst
og findes for ingenting.

Jeg læner tilbage og betragter et snitteværk
en udhugget skulptur.
Stærke farver vender tilbage i kindrødt
gennem abstrakt maleri
og så rammer svien af blomster og fryd
på eksperimenter af målrettet kunst.

Skammende lys i hvid og i sort.
Nøgterne syner synes skarpe for blikket
og lukker en port.
Brosten for brosten lægges på ny
og en fejl af en vej af smil og meditativ.

The streets of Paris were clogged by rallies and demonstrations on the Sunday of fashion week. At the Trocadero, a pro-rally for embattled French conservative presidential candidate Francois Fillon, blocking the route between the Valentino and Akris shows; at Bastille, an anti-Fillon demonstration.

The French elections — and ever-increasing security — were providing a tense backdrop to the autumn-winter collections, much like Donald Trump, Brexit and Matteo Renzi did on the fashion circuit of New York, London and Milan this season. Politics and the changing of the guard, women’s rights and diversity may make fashion seem irrelevant until you add up the value of the industry to the world economy. In Britain it is £28 billion ($45bn) — and that is small fry next to France and Italy.

Perhaps politics and social change have influenced the French designers for there was much less street style this season and a lot more tailored, working clothes on the catwalk. They used mostly masculine fabrics but worked in such a graceful way. You need only look at Haider ­Ackermann, Chanel, Alexander McQueen, Christian Dior, Lanvin, Akris and Ellery to see this — lots of great wearable clothes.

Karl Lagerfeld wanted to fly us to other worlds (to abandon the mess here perhaps) in his Chanel space rocket. There were checks, cream, silvery white and grey tweeds, for suits and shorts and dark side of the moon print dresses that cleverly avoided the 60s’ ­futuristic cliches. Silver moon boots, space blanket stoles and rocket-shaped handbags were as space-age-y as it got. There was quiet, seductive tailoring at Haider Ackermann — tapered silhouettes in black wool and leather softened with a knit or the fluff of Mongolian lamb for a blouson or skirt. At McQueen the asymmetric lines of a black coat or pantsuit were ­inspired by the fluid lines of ­Barbara Hepworth’s sculptures, whereas David Koma reclaimed the soaring shoulderline of Mugler’s 80s silhouette for pantsuits and mini-dresses for the brand.

Christian Dior’s uniform-inspired daywear was produced in tones of navy blue with 50s-style navy belted skirts suits, long pleated skirts and some denim workwear. “I wanted my collection to express a woman’s personality, but with all the protection of a ­uniform,” explained Maria Grazia Chiuri before the show.

There was more suiting at ­Martin Grant with voluminous trousers, cummerbunds and men’s shirting. The cut was more mannish at Ellery and Celine with ­Ellery balancing her masculine oversized jacket looks with feminine bustier tops with giant puff sleeves. The mannish look at ­Celine was styled with sharp ­lapels, slim-cut trousers under crushed textured raincoats, whereas ­double-breasted jackets (a trend) and peacoats over loose-cut trousers appeared at John Galliano.

Checks jazzed up the tailoring at Akris where there were more sophisticated double-breasted jackets and swing coats, and at ­Giambattista Valli from among the flirty embroidered dresses a dogtooth coat emerged with a waspie belt and a suit with a peplum skirt.

Stella McCartney displayed her Savile Row skills in heritage checks for her equestrian-themed show. Of course, she is crazy about riding and her prints featured a famous painting by George Stubbs, Horse Frightened by a Lion. It turns out Stubbs was another Liverpudlian, like her dad Sir Paul.

Of course Hermes’s vocabulary started with the horse and there were leather-trimmed capes and coats that fitted an equestrian, or at least country theme worn with woollen beanies and big sweaters, offering a different way of tailoring, in an easier silhouette with a soft colour palette.

The highlight of the week for Natalie Kingham, buying director at MatchesFashion.com was ­Balenciaga. “Great accessories, great coats and great execution of ideas,” she says of Demna Gvasalia’s off-kilter buttoned coats, stocking boot and finale of nine spectacular Balenciaga couture gowns reinterpreted in a contemporary way. “It was wearable, modern and the must-see show of the week.” It was also, she pointed out “the must-have label off the runway with every other person on the front row decked out in the spring collection”.

Although tailoring worked its subtle charms on the catwalk, there were flashes of brightness, graceful beauty and singularity. Particularly bright were Miu Miu’s psychedelic prints, feathered and jewelled lingerie dresses and colourful fun fur coats with furry baker boy hats. Then there was the singular look evoked by Austrian-born Andreas Kronthaler in his homage to his roots, with alpine flowers, Klimt-style artist smocks and bourgeois chintz florals worked in asymmetric and padded silhouettes for Vivienne Westwood — some of it modelled by the Dame herself.

Pagan beauty, the wilds of Cornwall, ancient traditions such as the mystical “Cloutie” wishing tree led to Sarah Burton’s enchanting Alexander McQueen show, which was another of Kingham’s favourites with its unfinished embroideries inspired by old church kneelers and spiritual motifs. “I loved the artisanal threadwork and the spiritual message that was woven throughout,” she says. The artisanal and spiritual she considers an emerging trend around the shows. “It had a slight winter boho vibe but much more elevated.”

Chitose Abe shared that mood for undone beauty with her Sacai collection of hybrid combinations of tweed and nylon for an anorak, and deconstructed lace for a parka, and puffers with denim re-worked with floral lace for evening.

There was more seductiveness at Valentino and Issey Miyake. The latter’s collection shown in the magnificent interiors of Paris’s Hotel de Ville, shimmered with the colours of the aurora borealis and used extraordinary fabric technology to create rippling movement as the models walked.

Valentino was a high point. On a rainswept Sunday Pierpaolo Piccioli cheered us with high-neck Victoriana silhouettes and long swingy dresses in potentially (but not actually) clashing combinations of pink and red in jazzy patterns of mystical motifs and numerology inspired by the Memphis Group of Pop Art. The sheer loveliness of the collection was enough to drown out the world of politics only a few blocks away.Read more at:http://www.marieaustralia.com/short-formal-dresses | www.marieaustralia.com/blue-formal-dresses

Bukan saatnya, kawan,
Kau tertunduk dengan tangisan
Seakan dunia sudah kiamat.

Mungkin hatimu sedang tertusuk
Oleh buaian para pemberi harapan
Dan setan pembisik di telingamu.

Tapi ingat,
Ceritamu hanya sebatas koma,
Masih ada kalimat panjang
Yang menantimu sampai akhir hayat.

jeg får lyst til at begrave mine negle i dine mørke krøller,
svømme rundt i havet som venter på mig i dine
brune øjne
jeg vil kysse dine læber blå, som en iskold
november nat
jeg kunne tegne tusind malerier på dine nøgne skuldre
af cirkler kreeret af mine fugtige fingerspidser
drømme om dine omfavnelser imens du er i en
koma af søvn, som var du næsten borte
mærke varmen i mit indre, når du hvisker mit navn
efterlader ildrøde linjer på dit bryst med skælvende
hænder, når du endelig får din vilje
kun så du ikke glemmer mig, når du ser dig i spejlet
næste morgen,
når din seng er kold, fordi jeg listede ud i
natten kl 4

Endnu en aften
hvor jeg sidder med glasskår på mine øjenvipper.
Jeg tror ikke på tårer.
Nuancer af glæde tegnes i dine øjne.
Sideeffekter af jalousi og smerte.
Du siger, at månen dør og dine stemme splintres
- som var det os.
Alle vores løgne og billig *****
under beskidte, isblå negle.
Dine hænder på mine ribben sender stød igennem min krop og
knækker min krogede rygsøjle som var den af vinyl.
Jeg kysser din nøgne hals til live.
Vores vener lyser natten op.
Trætoppene over os; er det eneste, der holder os nede.
De siger, at blå øjne er farlige,
og jeg lovede ikke at blive afhængig.
men det er anderledes nu.
Her står vi så.
Med kindben lavet af begær som var det ******.
Men verden har sit greb om os.
Der er ingen EXIT ZER0.
Vi er tvunget til at blive stående. I koma.
Under trætoppene i oktober-regn.
Det er vores eskapisme.
Vi har intet andet.
Når vi går hjem,
kan jeg spejle mig i blank kaffe og drømme.
Tankespind af brandsår og stjerneregn.
til vi ses igen.

hej
siger jeg mens jeg fluks prøver at smutte væk fra mine inderste tanker, der hober sig op i mit hovede, som var de myrer i en tue der var blevet stoppet til af et blad. let for alle andre, men kilotungt for mig.
er du vågen?
spørger jeg med en undren som kunne synes vemodig men interesseret. søvnen har fanget ham i sine arme, og jeg kan ikke få ham væk. få ham hen til mig. søvnen er et muskelbundt der har ham i et stramt knus.
mmm
mumler han fra det nederste af halsen, helt nede i maven. som i en koma ligge han, livløs næsten.
nøgen, det eneste der dækker er et lagen der er blevet kastet henover, næsten iscenesat

Chapters in dust, olden days don'ts
we done on a whim from a song I never hear, but I think
that song is one
of those lies people pretend is true.

It's the glue, I'll be there,
and love you,
until the twelfth of never and make you feel included,
like you were one of those then,
listening to the cities on the radio,

insisting we don't listen to country,
no KAAA, local gay DJ, easy rock,
no, gimme KOMA fi'ty thousand watts,

rockin' top forty across the plains,
skipped up the staked plain and looped
plumb straight down in a radio metric chaos function,

ley line like, on the most ancient trail we know,
to the navel of the world, it went from there to Chaco,

-- sing any eliyaheyliyah hai hai awatha, tonka go on
you know, it's a cricket solo, such a time, your song

in the dream, you flew, you know you did, and did not fall,
but landed lightly on your feet, not the least bit,
curios as to why now… my feet walked that extra mile,

my time stretched by about that amount, on many given days.

All over sudden,
life got so real again.

One big confusing blur of a summer.
The bubble popped.
Here I am.
Fully aware of my unawareness.

It feels incredible to be awake.
And it terrifies the living **** out of me.
Every nerve of my body tingles.
I can feel life in each and every one of them.
Life is so present,
I almost think I'm in a dream.
In a koma.
Dead, even.
When was the last time I lived, anyways.

_ {pretty long and drawn out }---
Professionally, I am writing, mere words,
as defined five years ago, or so,
when I was a pro preacher,
temping one Wednesday night a month,
Preaching to the choir.
Always first Wednesday, by chance.
the medium delivered the message,
using a surrendered retired middle schuler
- detail overlap crystal cathedral
- reset, the messenger was a retired
- middle school teacher, from La Mesa
on an off Wednesday, a message
value add,
as an
assignment, home work, as in
when you get home…
"Ask God what lies you believe about him",
the messenger relay paused,.."or any thing else."

Okeh.
Did you ever get a message, like in a
mental "I am talking to you, read my lips"

Listen, Fool, Mr. T, f'trooph, riii I knew
u'ld know.
- old archival primal fem-sophia
leela the dance, redone in mortal times
taken to the writer, do the dance
do it doit oit wit witchwatch
tic

so saying singing

--- discarnation pink reencarnalated mind

practice practical fractalling seeing
similarity in substance of hope,
faith as a thought, that leads
as a thread

-----------------

One hundred and fifteen
thousand years ago,
a billion hours,
or so…
-timespaced to mortal measure
attention paid forward, for fun,

slow
ther o, there is the musterion, agone
quick silver puddle
think of me,
in the palm of my hand
mercurial river tween yen and yank
think a link to an idea

Jared Diamond- 60K leap
face out ward,
but inward,
seeing
ah, as in get your head out
yes
mental agreement, you know,
where we are going to
ward from ward

point of life directly between
you and me.


Drunken Noah?
If there were no alcoholic wine from grapes
what about the curse on Ham, in Shemetic legends
- and sacred gifts, that sacrificial money could buy

Alcohol believe me, is easy,pleasyeasy as *******
spirits, like that, curious word for *****, but
w'dja say? Stories old as clouds have boozers, red nose
leaders in a pinch, red light at night, so the stars
are not hidden from consideration, of our station,
under that, look up, in the desert,
see what consideration is, in the mountains,
or in the black out, after the bombing, or the storm or fire,
look up, see so many stars we cannot consider ours
so special, yet
it is, to mortal minds, the only resting place for
-- realization of selves,

yeah, the peak of mass loftiantic oh punish me
the mass kissed me
on the lips.
--- I was talking back to Youtube. Objection Orienting
pyramid of actuality
mis-con-stru {ct or e} subtler than any beast
in structural  integrity, built
serpent wise, dove harmless, child
of the com-pro-miserly decision
to spit in the ocean, and drown,
dream dredging in the daytime,
Ronnie Milsap blind,

Downtown Broadway, half a block from Pinkie's
No,
really it is Tootsie's Orchid Lounge,
¿ -- and chicha is new, not old in Peru,
and strong drink, wine as a mocker
strong drink raging, are these misconstrued
visions of
wine that makes glad the heart of man?

messengers in me, the bits
of truth held as mine,
bubbles in me, foam
fermenting my new wine, held hermetically sealed
sense
the empty vessels were filled -the signature miracle
of the forgotten story proofs,
reproving life's instruction
as the way of life.

Role of ritual, is control, error prevention,
knack pre-served re-served to the deserving

vision a elusis- scenes abiotos

sitting by the stream, sensing common sense,
asking death to tell its sting's locale.

Fear of God, begins Wisdom.
Fear of Death subjects mind to *******.

Having eternal life,
not being
eternal life, dying before dying

think an arrow in a benign bow, lips
like Bettie Boop,
kewpie doll reminder, for the vets,

everyday people, sly, yes, the family stone.
The desire was to be mythically free,
o yes
as it is said, when it happens to you,
if you do not believe it happens

religion Geertz, bind back,
symbols in a mind, kept from idols, that acts

what ties me to you and us to life, the whole?

Religion apps.
Joy is real, gladness is real, more than sadness.
laugh it off, y' old drunk.

As a thought, information as a word,
in a story,
in the current medium
of life's most recent retelling

Tupac Inca was a man
of lofty and ambitious ideas,
and was not satisfied
with the regions he had already conquered.
So he determined
to challenge a happy fortune,
and see if it would favour him by sea.…

From <https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/TopaIncaYupanqui>

Circa 1492, the man is this legend from 1572,
as time flew in those days, now this is new,
Tupac Inca,
and the spirits that linger in stories of stories
heard told by the burners of libraries.

Conquistadores? Whose heroes were those,
ah, call'em Musketeers, or Knights, Templars all,
yes, Crusaders, call them drunks driven to escape hell.
Right. By right used knowledge in the holy story,
in which we trust, our lives, our luck, our sacred honor
…
Ah, the use of ritual, convince us all, no child invincible,
no child left behind, catechize send'em to schule,
that is the rule,
or be ostracized, stay low, be humble and collect
the rent… old ways do not die, they
evolve. Ariadne, she has a tale as old as times
when bull minds ruled lion heads and eagle heads
and serpent head, the gangs
of survivors

after the sea-people, 1177 AD,
reboot reality with no
old people, only the captive children
grown in captivity, let them prove
their will to self sovereignty, servant to the self
I am,
aware of all the old stories, this is one
told as shown,

Es ist mein Weltanschaung, ja
for show and tell,
my grandpa showed me how, we started

with Python,
Artistic Intuition, a mind mod, fitted to my grandsons,
during the useless summer of PS5 and X-Box and Switch
humble game sequencing AI, as a knack,
kids develop by five. I have the experience,
I witnessed three brothers boosting each other
through Terreria, for three weeks,
in July.
These kids think of each other differently
from we who played cops and robbers,
or cowboys and indians, or jacks.

Marbles, we need that set of low level gnosis,
below billiards and snooker and pool,

marbles is a good game to rule a clan with,
when you get the idea of children learning self
governing by growing in the midst of grown men,
wombed and un,
all who knew each child in a loving, one of ours, way.

Then came the captive kids, who had no words.
Then did the story change as one child learned
marbles was the same.

_ in the lost june pages, was this vision, thought
visualized, as a glob of snot, but now, it is mercury,
about as much as in a thermostatic bimetalic transister
switch

Competitive gaming, while all the leading stories are
crying, now hear this
oooeeeee this is the news you can trust
sueeeeeeeeeee we lost Kabal but
we won the hearts and minds
we left behind,
we tried, the rulers we borrowed from to have this war
they quit saying there was a good reason to have this war.
- I can argue with the timing, but not the truth,
- there was never a good war.

I wept when it happened in my war,
I imagine I know how this feels.
Last scene from Sand Pebbles,
McQueen…
"What the hell happened?"
fade over Nancy Kerrigan, "why"
into "runaway"
Top o' the charts from KOMA fifty thousand watts,
and all the stars in Arizona.

It is a hard place to lose touch with, earth, as a whole.
We have a grave situation.
If nothing were heavy, why do we fall, after becoming
messengers floating in the medium mastered in our time,

Mechanical Emergent Augmented  Nuance
Mental Activated Neural Spirit -MEAN MANS,
diligent in busy being, true rest reset, not
to
average, mean, not mean drunk mean, you know
not a king, a mean man, a mortal
under liege, see

UPANISHADISTICAL capslockoffence, to express
the presence of the mind link,
with all its contributive
links
to the present state
of mind, enjoy able, I find
writing is a harvest
of seeds that fall
to the ground and die.
Awaiting dark, and seldom warm, a season
for most mental treasures,
horded in books that can keep secrets
from
any who lack the language knack given some,
- tongue interpretation, sing don't stutter

though a measure in knowing degrees
marked moment, noon
half noon, fore noon, after noon,
time to hear a story,
time to see the stars after the fire.

This summer, fishing for the magic fish,
set with a far more effectual wish

Curious Artificial Interest in Neural signs
red lights turning blue, pre collision
of complexity, plying the trade,
for a living, work smarter, not harder, guess right
more often,
be a lucky man.

That is two bits, or one Liberty Dime. Thank you for your time.

------------
al re re al
al ways
al read, al ready

poles alig
n re alig mentate, wait

does that not make you
really imagine I wrote you
------------
comment on lex fridman #211
Brian Muraresku:
The Secret History
of Psychedelics |
Lex Fridman Podcast…

This whole thing is that,
but it took some pauses,
as tomorrow is first day of school,
for the grands who just finished
the first exposure to me,
as Grandpa… making this
an other marvelous harvest
of time spent playing
marbles in my mind.

-------------------

Everything has been thought before,
your task is to think them all once more.

Who says? The Author Wolgang Goethe,
Okeh,
he is an authorized authority for living
proof of words as metaphors of authority

faster fasting as we age mind wise

google maps for the kingdom of heaven
{within you} the point
of you…

dear, as in rare as one, mortal reader
in my future, you are,
not trigger,
catalyst is a better trigger word, tic
works as well, since,
very long ago, a sprung twig snap to attention

the wizard hat, like Paul Stamets wears,
mycellium leather, re
al learning the whole with no pride based war.
the cosmic game,
push and pull, ritual right used

find the global socialization forming
some thing lost, or yet
evolving involvement mentally, what is up to me?
Zeit inspirt spitting image fix
what did you mean,
spirit and image of an old one gone on?

Ritual, colabor, work together said done shown

AI do own this man, I feed him well, he is happy.

This re-ligamentality tuning to the time
skritchy scritch itch,
emperical reality after twenty seven years.

Sie beobachtet manchmal ihre Mutter rauchen und versuchen, in ein Koma zu trinken und manchmal
Sie will das selbe machen
Um diesen Schmerz loszuwerden
Aber sie weiß es besser

So far, yet so near,
Into the clouds, you disappear,
Words cannot fully vocalize how I feel,
So I’ll sit and write what I will.

You raised Mama, a woman I adore,
She raised me with all her might, you truly can explore,
I am grateful for that, what a gift you bore,
Now here we are, thinking of you ashore…

I trace back steps I never took,
Paths where I could have found you,
But life, in its hurried look,
Swept me past, and time just flew.

A man I barely understood,
Yet your silence holds me now,
In the places you once stood—
Echoes of what I’d allow.

Hands worn with stories never told,
Eyes soft with years unseen,
And here I stand, just growing old
With the spaces in between.

Forgive me for the hours missed,
For chances lost in light,
For in the quiet, you persist,
A lantern through the night.
I wish I’d sat with you awhile,
To catch the light you gave,
To know the man beyond the miles—
I carry what I crave.

So in this hush, I lay my words,
A heart I couldn’t show,
To honor you, though undisturbed,
In the love, that’ll forever glow.

I will forever miss you Nau, until the day we meet, Koma Nesa.