"kelcee" poems
I am Who , I am Suppose Too Be
I am Not the Person , That some Think I should Be
I Lived a very long part of my Life , Not being Me
I tried too Be the Person , That Some thought I should Be
I now know , That All That did , Was Make Me Very Miserable
I shared my Secret with Pamela Jean only , and She Loved Me
I and Pamela Jean , Spent the better part of our Married Life -
Protecting My Secret Life , And Our Happily Married Life Together
I hurt so Much , Now that Pamela Jean , Has Gone Too Heaven
I Still have Reagan Jean & Shelby'Anne Kelcee & They are my Life
I have some Family , Pamela's Family , Who Accept Me as Me
I have Zero Member's of My Family , That Accept anything about Me
I have my strong Faith in My GOD & My Lord & Savior JESUS CHRIST & The Holy Spirit
I know that GOD , Loves Me , For Me & That He alone will Judge Me
I will Ultimately Stand before GOD & Confess My Sin's as Me
I will live the rest of My Life , As much as Possible as Me the Real Me
I am Always worried what Other's think , As I want too Be Accepted
I want too Be Loved & I want too show Others , The Real Me
I am a Beautiful Female / Transgender Woman , I am Me
I was Always Me & I will Always Be Me , I Love Me
Thank You GOD & ALL of YOU , Who Accept Me as Me
I am Stacie Leelah Cheyenne & I Love Being Me
Aug 6, 2015
Aug 6, 2015 at 11:33 PM UTC
Pamela , O' loving Pamela , My beautiful & loving Pamela
We started our beautiful life together , We shared so very much
The mid too late '80s , Were beautiful & so full of the future
That no one knew , Except for GOD , How much time we really had
And so we both enjoyed each other , We both shared so very much
From all of our 9 beautiful & loving Labrador Retrievers , ( Our Kids )
Too our Homes , Hobbies & our many Vacations in numerous states
The one thing , That never changed in all of our entire married life
Was that she Loved Me & I Loved Pamela , My sweet Pamela Jean
We both worked very hard , We even worked side by side for S & P
S & P ??? . Wasn't just a business or even just a job , It was Our's
Sometimes it seemed as though the business actually owned Us
But looking back , There was a lot of times when Pamela & Me
Laughed & cried & Shared beautiful times & bad times together
From our 1st Labrador "" Callie "" , Too our current 2 Labradors
Reagan Jean & Shelby'Anne Kelcee , And the other 6 Labradors
Jack'ie , CJ ( Callie Jean of Callie's Acre's ) , Sammy , Daisey
L.A.B. ( Ellabee ) & Kelcee Jean , Seven are now in Heaven with Pam
As I like too say , Pamela Jean has 7 Labradors , With her in Heaven
I have 2 Labradors with Me down here on Earth , I Love You Pam
I will always Love You Pamela Jean , I will never stop Loving You
You were always the Love of My life , And You always will be
As GOD is My witness , I promise You Pamela , Love is Forever
As You and I took our wedding vows serious on that day in July 1989
For better or worse , In Sickness and in health , Till death do us part
We'll Pamela You're in Heaven now & I still Love You so very much
My Love for You is still On going , And our Love will never End
I will Love You for Eternity , As You & I , Will always be One
The time & the dreams , That We both shared Together as Us
I will never forget , My daily life without You , Is so very lonely
You're Family & Our Friends & GOD , And our 2 beautiful Girls
Are what is absolutely now keeping me going , Day in & day out
Until the day , That We both can & will be Together Again for all
ETERNITY - Just You & Me , Pamela & Me , Me & Pamela :
GOD BLESS ALL , Who read This - Amen :
Aug 7, 2015
Aug 7, 2015 at 8:10 PM UTC
When we first met
Both broken apart
What a good fit
So i thought
A friend to confide in
We built ourselves up
Fun and laughter
Volcanoe in sight
Soon to errupt
A chess piece unknown
Soon to be played
Not knowing the plot
I happily stayed
Years gone by
Beautiful highs
Heartbreaking lows
The sound of your mouth
Erased your lies
3000 miles away
All i wanted was you
Yet blamed for your sins
After waving goodbye so soon
You played your games
Made new friends
Black and white
Numbed your head
My friend moved on
Easch night and day
He made his choice
What could i say
Days with no sound
Conversations ran thin
To hear your voice
Where do i begin
You said you tried
You never went
Another lie
You chose to invent
You had no choice
So hit the road
Not even realizing
You are a fraud
You had your fun
Till u had no choice
The wall torn apart
Now has a voice...
... Kelcee All
Sep 27, 2018
Sep 27, 2018 at 6:20 AM UTC
Back and forth
Day and night
yin and yang
fight or flight
hold that smile
kid yourself later
that ghost Within
is your own creator
Pride & Power
soon will sour
count your blessings
hour to hour
Family and friends
one in the same
they come and go
so remember your name
be kind to all
black a red hearts
forgive yourself
and those who tore you apart
you are no angel
you yourself have done wrong
I write this in hopes
We may all remain strong
...Kelcee All
Sep 19, 2018
Sep 19, 2018 at 4:46 PM UTC
Missing you terribly
maybe you were right
I alwayz told you to fight
Useless, Im taking flight
See you soon enough
this life is doom
as i sit here wallowing
in this dark room
reminding me of you
*** the pain
show me rain
nothing more to give
call me insane
im really tired
ive suffered soo long
please forgive me
right or wrong...
... Kelcee All
Feb 11, 2019
Feb 11, 2019 at 9:53 PM UTC
Feeling so empty... so cold and alone... does anyone hear me... just leave me alone... wanting the silence... but begging for an ear... just hear me out... don't question my dear... so much inside... I can't explain.. I just have these feelings... of sadness and pain...
Rolling eyes and grinding teeth... so much anger... in need of relief... Nowhere to Run nowhere to hide... no one to hold me ...dying inside... hold back the tears quiet the screams nothing is ever What It Seems...
Kelcee All
Apr 24, 2017
Apr 24, 2017 at 10:13 PM UTC
Calling your name
undeniable pain
tortured heartbreak
forced to fake
Justified beliefs
crashing blue reefs
mother nature at play
fierce unbearable dayz...
...Kelcee All
Feb 11, 2019
Feb 11, 2019 at 8:40 PM UTC
casting Shadows... dreams of Faraway days... spinning in circles... my mind is a maze... I often wonder... what the days will bring... as I sit all alone... watching others smile and sing... hoping one day I will be able to say... I am truly happy... at least for one day... until that time... I try and mask the pain... alone with my demons... I often try to tame...
... Kelcee All
Apr 24, 2017
Apr 24, 2017 at 10:36 PM UTC
Paintings removed... the frame still remains... years gone by... but I remember the day... once dependent without a choice... now seeks guidance with their newfound voice... decisions to make... at every turn... hard lessons ahead... won't go unlearned... hold on tight... to friendships made... not all will last... some will fade... you can't prepare... for when your heart breaks... we all have flaws... we make mistakes... we look ahead... and try to prepare... there are no signs... that says stop, beware... we stand in line... waiting our turn... pay attention, stay focused... so much to be learned... what looks like progress... of an attainable goal... can disappear in an instant... with nothing to show...
... Kelcee All
Feb 1, 2017
Feb 1, 2017 at 11:34 PM UTC
Goodbye my love
Soo much sorrow and pain
Constant struggle
Every minute each day
Drowning in memories
As hard as i try
They will not fade
My heart will never the same
You took what you wanted
You have no shame...
Just to be clear
You lost your own game
You will never forget
My name shall remain
Your demons within
You will never tame...
... Kelcee All
Feb 8, 2019
Feb 8, 2019 at 7:26 PM UTC
All holds true
you do what you do
maybe one day
feelings hold true
One Moment In Time
express your feelings outside
recreate the scenario
rearranging your mind
Lego landscape
ready to go
say hello to
the ultimate low
Two to every seven
trying to let go
Odds against you
get attending the show
belief in your scenario
able to get through the show
able to keep them afar
not knowing what I know now
thank you for your time
thank you for listening
a ghost with a voice
that voice my choice
one moment
30 or less
180 turn
never to confess
No Love
No hate
no regret
no pain
All That Remains
is that perfect you
no hard feelings
I just bid you adieu
... Kelcee All
Oct 2, 2018
Oct 2, 2018 at 12:52 AM UTC
Change of scene
dark haunting dreams
unable to escape
her delusional past
Inevitable crash
fueled with sin
gathering force
colossal train
cold steel chains
locked in a cage
uncontrollable rage
acting insane
devastating shame
tortured inward pain
color of red
how much she bled
...Kelcee All
Feb 11, 2019
Feb 11, 2019 at 8:23 PM UTC
We have all been hurt
disappointed and betrayed
We struggle with choices
We can feel sorry for ourselves
run away and hide
fall into a depressive state
let anger lead to revenge
question our self worth
become bitter souls
living a lonely unfulfilled life...
You have a choice to make
let negativity rule your life
or live a positive happy one
remove yourself from toxic people
believe in yourself
know your worth
accept nothing less
surround yourself with positive people
look forward
leave the past behind
be compassionate and kind
let go of your anger
look into your heart
and always FORGIVE!!!
you cannot control
the actions of others
however,
you have control
in how you respond
this is your life
never allow others to steal your power
be strong
stay true to yourself
Set yourself free
hold your head up high
spread your wings
your ready to fly...
... Kelcee All
Feb 11, 2019
Feb 11, 2019 at 7:35 PM UTC
Her World a storm..
yet her smile/laughter fixed...
holding back from All...
Letting it Go
Just a bit...
only when alone...
doesn't she know...
it's only the under toe...
soon she will see...
The beautiful, special, confident spirit we all see...
... Kelcee All
Jan 20, 2019
Jan 20, 2019 at 6:34 PM UTC
Cold dark stare
clearly unaware
open your eyes
if you dare...
...Kelcee All
Feb 11, 2019
Feb 11, 2019 at 8:28 PM UTC
I am not a monster..
just a misguided host
terrible, selfish, Unforgiveable truths and actions...
never wanted to stray...
words spoken...
never wanting to say...
regretting those betrayed...
but as I lay here in the bed I have made...
I am still beautiful...
enough said...
...Kelcee All
Jan 20, 2019
Jan 20, 2019 at 7:22 PM UTC
Flipping through pages... both front and back... identifying moments... of time we want back... we live our lives the best we can... We will stumble and fall, get off track...but just as quickly we heal and we're back...Use memories of past experiences as a tool... Some happy and full of laughter... Others are sad and filled with pain... Use this as a guide and Write Your Own Book... Picture your future as you hope it to be ... Now take small steps everyday to shape it... Your future is waiting for you... Go live it...
... Kelcee All
Apr 24, 2017
Apr 24, 2017 at 10:35 PM UTC
Phoenix Rising...
the scenery has changed...
left in the ashes...
my past remains...
letting go of familiar scenes... exaggerated in nightmares.. awakened by screams...
colors fading...
clinging to life...
canvas screaming...
to be painted bright...
blurred visions...
of a haunting silhouette... unwanted feelings...
of loss and regret...
...Kelcee All
Dec 3, 2016
Dec 3, 2016 at 5:50 PM UTC
What we are is much the same... Carnival hearts alone and at play...
young and naive... never Play for Keeps... testing the waters... makes you leave... Never Back Down... Don't second guess... put your mind at ease... leave if you please...
selfish yes... waiting for war... looking round corners... Listening through doors... walls so high... exhaustive Pride...never hiding... Endless fighting... to the death... feel safe... Alwayzzz the end... Do not allow... pride to Bend...
... Kelcee All
Jan 17, 2018
Jan 17, 2018 at 1:42 AM UTC
trying to write
trying to get through
trying to smile
hes the one i miss
love soo strong
gave in to it all
pain full on
blinded by the fall
yet i sit here crying
remembering good times
missing the laughs
wondering whats next
i lie to myself
i lie to my heart
i need to get through this
its tearing me apart
... Kelcee All
Sep 21, 2018
Sep 21, 2018 at 5:10 PM UTC
Purple Shades...
sliding of blades...
light slowly fades...
clearly man-made...
... Kelcee All
Jan 20, 2019
Jan 20, 2019 at 6:48 PM UTC
Where did he go... how can I find him.. what can I do... who can he turn to... who can he talk to... I wish I had the answers... I wish I could take away his pain... his suffering... his worry... his anxiety... he is a beautiful person... he has so much to give... so much to offer this world... even Beyond this world... after his death... he will shine even brighter than any star in the galaxy... why does he look so sad... why does he feel so bad... how can he not see all of the beautiful things he gives to everyone around him... when he walks into a room it lights up... he strikes up a conversation... you cannot help but listen.... you want more... you don't want it to end... you want him to be a forever friend... he'll be by your side...no matter what... he has tremendous honesty... he has no problem saying "hey what's up" and call you on your b*******... he will teach you how to be a true friend... he's honorable... he has integrity... he's incredibly honest... even if he says you're not fat in a dress... even if you know it... he makes you feel beautiful no matter what... if you're not up to your full potential at the gym... he will say "you're looking good guy"... meanwhile thinking of a way for this person to accomplish his goals without him even knowing how he truly feels... he will make you feel special even when you don't even know it... he will defend you and you won't even know it... he is humble and you will never know it... he is beautiful you should KNOW IT...
... Kelcee All
Feb 1, 2017
Feb 1, 2017 at 11:27 PM UTC
Conflicting variations of a familiar scene provoke emotions similar to that of deja vu and dreams... the illusion of clarity often eludes a fixed Vantage Point... a calculated encounter is brought forth by dominating influences of past experiences... the validity of patterns limits the justifications that are inevitably silenced... consequently forcing a breakdown of familiar comfortable suggestive behaviors...
... Kelcee All
Jan 22, 2017
Jan 22, 2017 at 3:45 PM UTC
Paintings removed...
the frame still remains...
years gone by...
but I remember the day...
once dependent without a choice...
now seeks guidance with their newfound voice...
decisions to make...
at every turn...
hard lessons ahead...
won't go unlearned...
hold on tight...
to friendships made...
not all will last...
some will fade...
you can't prepare...
for when your heart breaks...
we all have flaws...
we make mistakes...
we look ahead...
and try to prepare...
there are no signs...
that say stop, beware...
we stand in line...
waiting our turn...
pay attention, stay focused...
so much to be learned...
what looks like progress...
of an attainable goal...
can disappear in an instant... with nothing to show...
... Kelcee All
Dec 4, 2016
Dec 4, 2016 at 12:31 PM UTC
Many years have passed us by... so many questions without any answers... a mystery one day... Enlightenment the next... oh how we've grown... how beautiful we become.. if only they could see what shines in you and me... but sometimes it only takes one... maybe we're on another plane... I'll speak for myself I love the insane...it TRUELY is a part of me... my thoughts are dark... yet my soul is pure... if ever Unleashed what Ide do i truly don't know...i hold it all inside...yet I smile with pride... do not look down on me... don't shed a tear...i am strong and show no fear... i am not alone... you know who u are...be proud of who u are... and hold your head high... embrace both sides... good and bad... I'll Stand By Your Side... and hold your hand... but don't be fooled... beware of my wrath... what you see is not always what you get... so pay attention stay clear and Focus.... for one day you might find yourself drifting... becoming angry and unkind... I have one enemy I fight each day... I see her silhouette in the shadows at play... eventually the darkness puts the Shadows at Bay... I am not like the others... I'm in touch with My Soul... when one brings me hope the other takes its toll... it's still a fight i have everyday... I look in the mirror and have one thing to say... yes you are good and yes you are bad... look into your eyes just for a moment... why are you always looking away... self vs self I fight everyday... never give up trying to find my way... if my words make you think and you Ponder this too... I'd love to get the chance to know both of you... if I am u and u are me... who is this number... the one we call three...
...Kelcee All
Jan 22, 2017
Jan 22, 2017 at 3:35 PM UTC