I saw my old arch nemesis from middle school who bullied me at youth group at the gas station I work at.
I thought all of my rage was gone. I thought I had completely forgiven her completely in my heart.
But no the rage was still there and I hadn't forgotten at all.
I wanted to mentally destroy her as she did to me in middle school but that wouldn't change anything. I wanted to beat her up but I was on the clock so I didn't want to be fired. So I just smiled at her and told her to have a good night. She remembered my name as I remember the flashbacks of the emotional torment she put me through. That heartless, soulless human hope you never forget that Kalie chose to be my best friend instead of yours. I may be a loner and outcast but I am not alone. I never have been alone. Kalie was everything you weren't and Kalie chose me. Kalie may have died when I was 15 and broke my heart but Kalie Reign lives in my memories. I haven't said her name in 3 years it's about time I mention her. I am Brandi the Brave and Kalie Reign is my favorite angel in heaven.

I'll come to an end soon, maybe even by the time this is read.
I'm not afraid of death I just want you all to hope I go somewhere better than the world now.
I've done much wrong in my life and people will never forgive me and I'm sorry.
just please for the love of God forgive me for all I've done.
I will always love my dear bestfriend till the end of time.
Until heaven comes falling through the sky.
Until the flames of hell burn out.
Until the universe is no longer.
I was never very religious but at good time I'd look to the sky and thank someone, God, Jesus. Whoever could hear I'd thank them for you.
For what you've all done for me
I'd thank whoever heard me for great times in life.
In times of trouble I'd pray for help, for light. Sometimes it really would come. So I pray now that the universe stays infinite and growing. I hope heaven never comes crashing down.
I don't ever want to stop loving you all.
The first time I realized praying works is with Laurel Gallamore.
I prayed and sobbed for another chance.
I was blessed with more.
I've never treated you the best, and I've never actually told you but I truly love you and will always care about you.
Jordan, **** I can't remember when I met you but I'm really very thankful for you.
You're there for me when I felt different, you were there when I needed you.
I love you for taking me as a friend and for being such a great friend.
I'm still sorry for the candy bar, please forgive me.
Kalie, I remember I didn't even know you for a while and I saw you. Upstairs 500, Mowglis tee. I told you I liked your shirt and later that day you were part of the group forever. I love you a lot for being such a great friend and talking to me while I type this, you're amazing and I'm sorry for being so rude at times but you're an amazing girl and one of my bestfriends and I'll always care about you and will always love you and don't ever forget that.
Austin, you're my oldest friend. I'm 99.9% sure since third grade I've known you and you've been nothing but great. I'll never forget summer of 2013. **** we talked from dusk till dawn about girls we thought would be the end of us. You've always been a great guy and I still ain't gay but I love you man.
Maybe this isn't the end but even when time slows more and more until earth is completely still, until we fade from one another. I pray that we don't, I hope and hope earth never stands still.
All the seas in the world couldn't hold my tears if I was forced to stop loving you all.
You're all true best friends
Amazing people
Years from now I hope we all know one another and are just as close as we are now.
I hope when we are old and gone
When we're gray and forgotten.
I just really hope I can be with you all in every other life there is.
I only wish I could show how I feel but my love for you all will never fade.
Not even if
Heaven comes falling through the sky.
If the flames of hell burn out.
Not even if the universe is no longer.
You will all, always be more than anyone could ever ask for.

p.s. that last line rhymed

Oh, Allie
Every time I'm thinking about you my heart skips a beat


Every time I'm thinking about you my heart skips a beat

You are so hot
I'm always in the heat
I'm not good at math so what's 10X10?
Forgive me if I'm wrong  it had to be 100
If so that's how much I wondered
I wonder about how I can make you happy
Hopefully when you read this you have a smiley
I truly want you to be happy Allie
I want to do better than Kalie
You have faith in me
And one day I'll make you see
Just be patient
Just chill
I am only for you

They have supported my creative ambitions since I was best friends with their daughter Kalie. Her family became my family when we loss her. I didn't I would come back from that. I didn't think I would come back from losing her my best friend. The one person who understood me in this **** Christian town.
Kalie knew before I did that I am a good writer. She told her family about my stories and poems. She believed in me before I did.
She loved me before I did. She accepted me before I did.
She knew me better than anyone else in this cold, stuck up small town. And I fell in love with her with every ounce of my being.
Most people knew we were best friends because of how we looked at each other. We were so close that people could hardly tell where one personality began and which personality ended. Every time she came back for me I knew I would always remember her. No matter how hard life got without her I knew from heaven how she wanted me to live my life. I was so depressed without her in my life that barely ate anything and slept too much. At one point I attempted to **** myself.
I went to the school counselor more often that Kalie was gone. I knew each time I felt bad to go to the counselor because it was a reflex for me. I always gone into therapy from speech to reading. I grew up depending on therapists for my mental disabilities because I couldn't control myself. I was labeled a special needs kid and mentally disabled. I accepted it.

When I loss my best friend a part of me went with her.
When I loss my best friend it was 5 days before my birthday.
When I loss my best friend I cried myself to bed each night and barely ate anything.
When I loss my best friend, 6 months after I tried to **** myself but I heard her voice say, "Don't". So put the pocket knife away and went to sleep.
When I loss my best friend, 8 years ago I couldn't look myself in the mirror because I kept getting memory flashbacks of our wonderful friendship. So I had to remind myself, she wasn't there.
When I loss my best friend, at night I heard her voice say, "I forgive you." And I felt her kiss my cheek. That night I forgave myself.
When I loss my best friend, I knew no one else was going to save me so I made new friends.
Her name was Kalie. And before she died she promised me we would be best friends no matter what. Her spirit doesn't visit me as often as she used to but I still feel her love for me.