As I lay here I wonder about my choices
In my head. Stop silence all the voices
I wonder if I'm stupid when I care
Sometimes livings more then I can bare
The years pass me by and I settle
My heart turns to solid metal
I cant describe how it feels to sit back and see
The love between two people the lack of it for me
And when I try to speak my voice is not heard
All my thoughts are silly every bit abursb.
Yet as I lay here dying a little every night
A burning plight of passion a simple dimming light
I do what I can to survive with what little that I get
I feel as if I was doomed the minute that we met.
But if the things were exapressed I become another stress
And everytime I begin to feel more less and less.
My feelings are a side effect of a deeper mental thing
This isnt true often it intensifys every emotion that it brings
I feel a suffication I don't feel I can be me.
I try to say these things yet the price of commication isn't free.
So I keep my feelings hidden cuz no one wants to hear
I bottle it up inside till alone my eyes begin to tear.
I don't know how to get the things that I really want
I watch all the couple's and their love they seem to flaunt
The happiness they feel enjoying all their time
All of it tarnished with my  jellousys grime.
I want so much more a love so intense and great
With one or two it doesn't matter awaiting a true soul mate.