"hospitalized" poems
Devised by Cosmic Boss
Sourced by parents
Aided by obstetrician
Nursed by pediatrician
Nurtured by nutritionist
Counseled by sexologist
Treated by orthopedist
Stressed by physiotherapist
Directed by dietician
Nudged by nephrologist
Nerved by neurologist
Contained by cardiologist
Consoled by psychologist
Interspersed by dentist,
Sighted by ophthalmist
Conditioned by physiology
Terminated by mortuary
The inexorable Lifeline Express
Of hospitalized hospitality
Feb 18, 2015
Feb 18, 2015 at 6:42 AM UTC
I was three years out of high school and finally getting
the chance to grow up. I’d been ready since before
graduation day. Everybody in the world was certain
that I would fail. I couldn’t succeed. Thanks for the vote
of confidence. I am proving them wrong. I’m succeeding,
maybe not thriving, but succeeding right before their very eyes.
Success is living on my own. Being able to do every household
chore on my own. Success is getting myself to and from where
I need to be in my broken down, beat up wheelchair. Success
is budgeting my money each month. Success is not getting killed
and ***** on my walk home from work in the dark. Success is
living up to their standards and way of life. Success is faking a smile.
I’ve learned more about life in the last eight months than ever before.
I’ve made mistakes, just like they said I would. What they didn’t count
on was me learning from those mistakes and picking up the pieces.
They told me I wouldn’t last more than a month, six weeks at the most.
I would ***** up, fail miserably, get hurt and hospitalized. Thank you
for the boost of self-esteem. It’s made me tougher than steel.
I may not be the perfect student, skinny blonde ***** award winning
page designer or most eloquent writer. I may not speak Spanish fluently,
have loads of extra cash lying around or a motorized, state of the art
wheelchair. Stop telling me what I need. I don’t need or want any of them.
Success is living how I want to live. Success is a productive day when I want
nothing but hot tea and soft music. Success is having the confidence to ask
for help when I’ve been told I shouldn’t. Success is making friends who can
read through my masquerade. Success is facing the consequences. Success is
found through red ink marks and piles of papers. Success is not letting those
who don’t believe in me get the best of me. Success is sunshine on a cloudy day
Aug 9, 2010
Aug 9, 2010 at 9:29 PM UTC
I remember an old guy he was an alcoholic hospitalized with me, he used to cut his cigarette filter so it guests stronger, I do the same sometimes, I wonder what he’s doing now. When we used to ask him he used to say “I’m already messed up there’s nothing left to ruin” I wonder if he’s okay now if he finally has something to ruin, I wonder if I do too, and then I remember you. I remember your eyes looking at me like I’m the only thing that matters in this universe, I remember, how u could know if I was asleep or pretending to avoid a conversation, you said my eyes smiled when I fell asleep, I dont know what you meant by that, but it made me smile. I remember you proposing to me with a pine cone, and promising me you will do it again one day, but for real. I remember spending two days locked in a car with you, you were worried about me, you wouldn’t leave, we slept uncomfortably, but we were still comfortable cuz I was in your arms and you were in mine.
I remember dancing with you in the er as we waited for me to be admitted, it was cringy and cheesy but I didn’t care, in your arms the only thing I care for is you. I remember your lips on mine and how they tasted, I remember how the universe exploded but disappeared at the same time when you kissed me for the first time. I remember when You pinned me me against the wall and kissed me as if I was the only running river in a drought. I remember the flowers I sent you and how you keep them, I remember how u put my birthday gift in a box filled with those same flowers that you dried, it was a necklace a ring with wings, it was a promise. A promise that one day, we’ll have everything, we’ll have a house with a garden, and cats, so many cats, one day we’ll have kids and I’ll tell them how much their dad loved their mom, that’s how they’ll learn what love really is, one day we will have something to ruin, we will have everything to ruin, but we won’t
Jun 24, 2022
Jun 24, 2022 at 12:22 PM UTC
Your brittle calcium coated voice
slides down my throat like water,
little blue gods of poetry.
Nothing to do but **** and fight.
There’s a run on sentence in my veins
whole flowers framing my bruises.
My bone quiet bruises
wait five miles from your medical voice,
english coastline of veins
covering my anatomy like large bodies of water.
**** yesterday’s fist fight
you left your apologies in poetry.
My alcoholic poetry
a blood orange coated in bruises
a history of last night’s pillow fight
catching religion in your voice.
The swallows splash in water
quiet in my dessicate veins.
Fields of goldenrod veins
make my honorary poetry
a theory of cursive water.
Leave aching vegetarian bruises
on my calloused voice
from tearing open the sun to fight.
A polaroid water fight
rolls around in my open veins
a punctuation of your raspy voice,
hospitalized my skin in poetry.
A reckless consumption of bruises
with a mint leaf in a glass water.
Soft echoes burn across the water
silver scissors in a domestic fight
running away from bruises
and mountains of veins.
My second language is poetry
giving my fingertips a muffled voice.
Empty water pleads with your broken voice,
makes me fight against pleated poetry
and pomegranate bruises tighten in my veins.
Feb 18, 2014
Feb 18, 2014 at 12:17 AM UTC
The problem does not lie within the fact that I do bad things. The issue is that nobody wants to be bad alone. If nobody is willing to be bad with you, it is no longer fun. It becomes sad, you become self loathing and empty. You realize the pain that you have the potential to cause and you understand that you are only hurting yourself. You bottle it up and store it in the back of your head forever, but every time you look at the person - or even yourself - the thought lingers… ‘they didn't want to be bad with you, you have corrupted them’. You feel pathetic and you slip back into your old depression. You are numb again. You waste your life sleeping until they send you away. Always hospitalized and treated, sent back into the world. Nothing has changed. You are still full of corruption and mistakes, still just as empty and neglected. You are damaged for the world to see. And you continue this pattern until you rot in the ground, leaving just as you came. Imperfect and alone. Meaningless and molded by Man.
kd
Nov 25, 2013
Nov 25, 2013 at 10:14 PM UTC
Cigarettes, I know you will be the death of me,
but you relieve me of my stress.
Cigarettes, I bought you for a total of 12.99,
you are my everyday investment.
Cigarettes, I smoke you 10 times a day,
aiming for a total of 15.
Cigarettes, you make my heart ache, but my loyalty for you is timeless.
Cigarettes, I think I have lung cancer, I will see you soon after chemotherapy,
Cigarettes, my blood pressure increased.
Cigarettes, sorry I was gone, I suffered a stroke.
Cigarettes, why am I being hospitalized?
Cigarettes, are you trying to harm me?
Cigarettes, will nicotine help treat my addictions I have for you?
Cigarettes, I feel sick.
Cigarettes, "hello are you there?"
ANSWER ME!!
Cigarettes ----------------------------------------------
Aug 25, 2018
Aug 25, 2018 at 2:48 AM UTC
I never had many friends
I was always late to school
Ate lunch alone
Maintained grades pretty well
Graduated
Lived at the same place
Moved schools to a 3 year middle time
Became captain on a basketball team
Maintained grades pretty well
Heart Broken
They took my dreams
They threw them down
Past my knees and below my feet
No school no school no school
Good grades and school dreams shot down
From there even after some injuries
I went downhill
Like I did when I gained a concussion
I fell and smacked the floor
Point blank like a gun at a shooting range
High school in black and white
No friends and only anxiety attacks
No more sports teams or good grades
Skipping class my attendance was doomed
Moving along as if hurdles were in my way
Hospitalized twice and almost once before
Scarred waist and black decay
Tear stains throughout the night
When I could only lay awake
Words trapped inside, my mouth a cage
Summer smoking gone by now in 10th grade
Two attempts
Sleeping day and night
No attendance period throughout the day
Grades and mind slain
Semesters slipping away like life
Passed one regents of which previously I failed
Grades go in I start trying again
I attend full fledged new meds
Passing grades like a miracle
Slowly falling behind
Broken thoughts along the night
Slipping away like the shadows in the light
Stopped going to school again
But why? I feel no pain
No grades nor attendance
No improvement no getting out of bed
The meds aren't helping
I only feel, there are no thoughts in my head
Ruining my future must repeat 10th grade
Getting worse no emotions
Going back to the way I was before
No friends no trust
Regret fills my veins people are going away
They must know that I'm not immune to all pain
May 27, 2015
May 27, 2015 at 9:31 PM UTC
I heard a story,
A story where a amputee person was trying to reach the peak of Mt. Everest.
Tried in every way but
Mid way was hospitalized.
His friend who was accompanying
Reached the peak
and later came to meet him.
Didn't bring a Garland or fruits
Rather gave him two stones.
He was stunned
And thanked him.
But he said,
I brought it for you
from the peak
It's for you to keep it
back to where it belongs!
A friend, sparking the energy
And after 3-4 attempts,
he did it
Reaching to the peak
And keeping back the two stones
To where it belonged!
Sep 3, 2018
Sep 3, 2018 at 12:20 PM UTC
⚠Trigger Warning; the following poem contains subject matter pertaining to suicide, self-harm, and eating disorders⚠
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i wish i was dead
Jan 13, 2019
Jan 13, 2019 at 1:49 PM UTC
I stole myself a keepsake for remembrance of my father,
a bracelet made by he that lasted 3 years, no longer
I picked me out a souvenir in summertime Muskogee
but now they sit so rusted and do of nothing to me
I hang old captured memories, tacked into my right wall
but they still just stand, a memory, that's all their worth in all
I will need no souvenir to remember you
I will need no keepsake hung up with a sticky glue
I will have your hand to hold, forever and again
If I need reminder, I just gaze up past your chin
Even all the words I wrote, someday will be just that
They may still hold a meaning, but I can never bring it back
The pearls pierced through my ears handed down from generation,
even they are getting old throughout this newer nation
Stories ended with their what if's and could have's
are too far passed now, just sit for some good laughs
I will need no souvenir to remember you
I will need no keepsake hung up with a sticky glue
I will have your hand to hold, forever and again
If I need reminder, I just gaze up past your chin
Why do we need bibles and these holy books to say
something once was, and I think again one day
I only can remember that one time I landed hospitalized
because the get well notes be still on my shelf advised
I used to keep a diary when I was just young,
to write down all I saw until it wasn't all fun
I will need no souvenir to remember you
I will need no keepsake hung up with a sticky glue
I will have your hand to hold, forever and again
If I need reminder, I just gaze up past your chin
For you are my souvenir
living life with both so near
Your hand is just a reminder
of the time that we have spent, in you, the meaning finder
Feb 28, 2016
Feb 28, 2016 at 10:05 PM UTC
You need to let the sand move alone
Inside the hourglass,
Instead of shaking it by the rim trying to make time pass.
Impatiently waiting, forcing love to move fast,
Then the glass ends up breaking,
Because you lose your grasp.
And as the glass shatters, and the sand spreads,
You fall to your knees
And try to gather all the shards and it shreds
Your palms and you bleed,
Until you’re almost dead.
You just give up and kick the pieces to the curb,
Lying to yourself that the pain doesn’t hurt.
Really inside your mind you’re debating what hurts most,
Your ****** palms, your broken heart,
Or the fact you let the hourglass go.
You decide on none of the above.
What really pains the soul,
Is the fact you hurt your partner
Who said you both should take it slow.
You didn’t realize the hourglass
Not only affected yourself,
That the effects of selfishness
Will reflect on one’s self,
And your ugliness will be reflected off the glass
Of the hourglass,
And shone in the face of your other half.
Now you’re forced to walk the earth,
As mere halves.
Incomplete hearts victim to the wrath
Of an impatient patient hospitalized in the past.
If you could find all the pieces on the ground,
Rebuild the hourglass and flip it around,
Rewind to the time when happiness encompassed minds,
Everything would be fine, if you could just find the time.
Time is valuable
And your soul has paid the fine.
You can define lost time,
Don’t let lost time define you.
You must defy that fine line
That divides you and your love
Because to lose love is a divine crime
Judged from the one above.
Just remember that the hourglass,
Representing the countdown
To complete, wholly, holy love,
Is not only yours but also your only love’s.
Oct 3, 2010
Oct 3, 2010 at 1:16 PM UTC
July 8th - Where am I? What is this place? Why do I remember everything & nothing all at the exact same time?
July 14th - This is a place where the dying go to; I don't understand.
July 24th - I feel this sort of pain, but it's nothing I can't handle.
August 1st - I miss my pillow the most.
August 17th - I don't know how I ended up in here. I don't know how I ended up like this.
August 20th - I was created to please, yet lived to only disappoint.
August 21st - I'm so cold. They don't have blankets in this room. Just walls.
August 22nd - Why hasn't anyone came to visit me? Why doesn't anyone care?
August 24th - I can't breathe. These walls turned into a face mask & I can feel myself slowly disintegrating.
August 28th - A cookie may be able to crumble, but I could crumble oh so much faster; & crumble I shall.
September 1st - A window appeared. But it's always raining outside of it.
September 4th - I forgot how to speak. The rain is much louder than my voice, & i'm starting to realize that's how it's always been.
September 5th - I don't remember the feeling of dry eyes. I can't tell if the moistness is actually tears or if i've just been standing by this window a little too long.
September 15th - I like to pretend that this feeling is normal.
September 16th - Everyone won't stop asking me questions about when i'm going to get released & seem to never stop wondering what's "actually wrong with me".
September 17th - Maybe I can just act like everyone else are the ones with the problems.
September 21st - I need to be alone, yet I haven't even seen anyone in what seems to be months.
September 28th - I don't know how long i've been in here, but i'm starting to feel at home.
October 2nd - I finally met my doctor. He seems like a nice man. Hopefully he can take this feeling away, whatever it is.
October 3rd - I haven't opened my eyes all day; i'm too scared to see that you're still not there.
October 5th - The doctor keeps telling me that there are no visible sign of anything being wrong, he says i'm free to go.
October 5th - I don't want to go.
Oct 5, 2014
Oct 5, 2014 at 10:06 PM UTC
You wanted love, so you found it,
And when it strayed too far from your grasp,
You threw it away.
Traded it for some skin and bones
For your fingers to linger upon under sheets of darkness,
Pounds of despair.
I've been thinking about you lately,
But I'm not so sure why.
It was a battle between fate and me,
Guess who lost.
I remember your fingers like
The sunrise
They came to meet me every day
Anytime, anyway.
I'm not so sure why words are coming for you
Tell me though, have you come to hate me, too?
I've moved so far backwards but taken so many steps, you've been too far gone to see.
I wonder sometimes, would you even recognize me?
You were my first
And I sure hoped it would last.
But you lied to her,
And ran so far, so fast.
I was hospitalized again, a few weeks back
For the same old reasons,
At the same cold season.
I didn't need you this time, to get me back on track.
I wonder how you're doing,
If your makeshift love has made you whole.
I know these words aren't quite moving,
But I hope they play a role
In seeing where you stand now,
I'm not asking for forgiveness, no
I ask for your friendship.
I've found myself drowning in loneliness,
I hope you've found companionship.
Because I almost did, but he blew me away
With words like daggers; all the things you should never say.
I hope you read this.
I hope you feel okay.
May I be so bold to say
It is the old you I miss
So terribly.
Jan 11, 2014
Jan 11, 2014 at 12:15 PM UTC
how do i tell you?
how do i put into syllables the roaring of emotions i feel within?
the loneliness that plagues me
the regrets that haunt me
the ache in my chest
& the lack of air when i choke on all the words that are waiting behind my tongue to stumble out that i push back down so that i dont ruin the moment
how do i tell you i miss you?
without it sounding so desperate for connection?
how do i tell you i need you?
without causing you to worry that i should be hospitalized again?
how do i tell you how deeply i love you?
without suffocating you or making you assume it's romantic?
how do i tell you that i cry at your photos?
feeling left behind like a photograph of a memory you no longer have
i radiate with pride for how far you have come, for how beautiful your soul is
& slowly drips in the jealousy of a forgotten feeling, happiness
i can't remember the last time i woke up to feel content & secure within myself
i can't remember the last time i felt loved & grateful for more than a few fleeting seconds
before the imposter syndrome takes over to steal the moment away from me
somewhere deep in the cobwebbed hallways of my mind, i know
i know that you would care that im in pain
that im struggling to stay alive
somehow i know
& yet that very thought is exactly what prevents me from saying a word
you cannot know how hollow i've become
you cannot see the person you once knew wither away before your eyes
how do i tell you how ashamed i am of myself
falling back on all the bad habits you were once so proud i thought i had gotten past
falling victim to the same toxic love i barely escaped before
how do i tell you how desperately i cling to anything that can alleviate the pain for a single day
the food, the shopping, the desire to self destruct constantly looming over my existance
how do i tell you without being vulnerable
what joke could i tell that would reveal it all but keep me in the safety of my aloneness that i have grown to find comfort in
how do i tell you...
Aug 15, 2022
Aug 15, 2022 at 12:30 AM UTC
Jane was given a year to live
Febricity, nausea and cancer would assist her through that year
Marching headfirst into this battle
Apropos of nothing, she packed up and left
Maybe she broke down, maybe she got up
Junction of her heart and mind, she was preparing to die whilst simultaneously starting to live
Julian Alps, Tianzi Mountains, Santorini, Petra, Machu Picchu, she saw them all
Augmented her mind
Separated her ignorance
October fell and she was hospitalized, the hospital was now her personal party with constant visitors
Novice to cancer no more, now she was the leader
Decease couldn’t stop her, she was alive
Sep 5, 2015
Sep 5, 2015 at 2:37 AM UTC
daddy was dead & i liked being used
I shoulda probly taken a shower
Rinse off the fog I drew on invisibility
& youth
& barrel gun'd eeyes
that mirrored only dice
& worlds of ice & rust
& sweet white dust
& tattooed drums
their
pumping pain
into my
sweet sweat
16 yr. old
frame
there i was
on some polar bear closed shop rug
midnight.
naked. he had taken my
clothes off.
I didn't wanna ****
i wanted to cuddle this stranger
cuddle the fluffy bear beneath my back
under the body i refused to look @
his hand on his belt buckle. caching
zip. daddies last breath. 1 blk
away. 15 min.s b4 here now i lay
prayers in the grave
men smothering my face
unshaven memory.
mind games.
Jan 4, 2010
Jan 4, 2010 at 8:28 AM UTC
You have the audacity
To stroll by my house
Thinking your tough ****
Calling out to me that I'm the *****
You already met my fist
Once, twice before
So if you want
I shall reintroduce to you
My fist
Hey *****
And **** You
Now that you're acquainted
Get the **** out of my neck of the woods
And learn your place
At the bottom of the dirt on my shoes
I wish you the best of luck
With the disfigurement of your face
But think again before
You want to have a rematch
You should of learned the first and second time
You can't and wont beat me
And please don't get your big brother
Because his 6 foot 209 lbs ***
Will be quickly hospitalized just like the last time
He made the same foolish decision you did
Plus it will just make you look just that much more
Of the pathetic **** faced ***** that you are
So please leave me alone
I really don't have the time
To play these childish games with you
Hey Bitch...Fuck You
The names of my fist that
Have left their mark on your face
May 6, 2013
May 6, 2013 at 8:42 PM UTC
My black cat
of twelve years
pretends not to know me
following my five months of hospitalized absence.
Perhaps it is the newly acquired wheelchair,
or the motorized invalid bed?
Why should he be any different than some old friends
whose calls are now noticeably less frequent
than prior to my paralyzing accident?
Or perhaps it is I,
too cinched up in my need bag
to reach out for a pet pat
or a pal chat?
Sep 13, 2012
Sep 13, 2012 at 5:25 PM UTC
I will not ever forget
How much I relentlessly could never wait to see
The numbers behind your eyes
How, when I saw 10
I knew instantly you were sad
I saw 10 when I saw
How you kissed that pretty girl
More passionately than when you kissed me
How you saw me
As a shattered piece of China
Regretful of what was
And In pain of what you couldn't fix
I saw 9 when your dog died
And I saw 9 when I left
I saw 8 when we fought
About something you didn't do
About something important
That has now been lost in the void called memories
I saw 7 when you called off our anniversary
'Cause I got hospitalized
And you were worried sick
How you couldn't live another day without me
I saw 6 when you got sick and I called off our date
I saw 5 the first time you confessed
With all the effort
And all the flowers
In stems and in words
And I without remorse
Turned you down
I saw 4 when I confessed
With none of the flowers
Nor intentions because I thought
I was being unfair
I saw 3 on our first date
How your eyes lit up
When you saw me
In that little blue dress
And every single date after
I see 2 everytime you saw me
2, everytime we held hands
2, every single time we were together
Here I am
Wanting to go back to 1
I saw 1 the first time I kissed you
And you kissed me back
1, everytime we kissed
1, The first time I spent the night
1, Everytime I spent the night
1, The first time I told you
Oh My God I think I love you
1, Everytime I told you
My God I still do
1, The first time I told you there wasn't a forever
But I promised you
Infinity exists
And everytime single time I called you
My Infinity
My Infinity,
Infinity does exist for us
My love
It lies in what has happened
And how much we remember
How much we can grab hold of
Inside our void of memories
My infinity,
How much of a fool I am
To realize your eyes
Are only reflections of mine
My Infinity,
You haunt me every nanosend
Of every second of my life
My Infinity,
Please
Never
Let
Go.
My Self,
Find the person
Who doesn't have all those sparkly numbers
Deep within their sparkly eyes
Who never speaks of math
Nor numbers
Nor anything related to Infinity
And
Forget your love for numbers
And never ending endings
Dear Self,
Please.
Aug 26, 2015
Aug 26, 2015 at 9:00 AM UTC
My cause of death won't be
A physical ailment
I won't have a heart attack
I won't get heart disease
I won't be plagued with cancer
I won't die of old age
The cause of my death will be
The fact that I give all of myself
I stop whatever it is I'm doing
To help those around me
I listen to and advise my friends
I assist my family
While no one does that for me
I am left alone 99% of the time
The cause of my death will be
The fact that I must internalize
Whatever emotions I feel
Because nobody understands
How deeply they go
They judge me and find me crazy
There is no one out there
Who is as equally emotionally strung
I am alone
The cause of my death will be
The fact that when I get sick
Or when I am hospitalized
Like I was earlier this month
No one seems to think it's a big deal
My mother doesn't pay much mind
Not even the one I'm in love with
Said one word to me
I was alone
The cause of my death will be
The fact that I don't see hope for the future
I see ignorance all around me
I see laziness and poverty
I don't see any opportunities
For me to get out of this place
I am wandering aimlessly
And alone
The cause of my death will be
The fact that I hate myself
For allowing my heart and my soul
To break as they both have
I am hypersensitive
I feel abandoned
I am weak and fragile
Even in a crowd of people
I always feel alone
No, I will not die from something physical
I will die from a broken heart
Jan 20, 2014
Jan 20, 2014 at 9:25 AM UTC
you ask me who i am,
but rather you should ask what i am not.
i am a soul who was once so lost.
i was walking a path that only brought destruction.
i blamed myself for not being good enough.
i inflicted wounds onto my skin,
i restricted my hunger,
i tried to end it all one day
and then i heard the voice.
i am not sure who it belongs to,
but it saved my life.
Do not let this fool you,
i did not want to be saved.
i did not want to breathe.
i was a girl
who had played too many games,
fought too many battles,
and lost too much hope.
I was a girl
who tried to call the grim keeper,
who was hospitalized by a friend,
who was touched by unwanted hands.
I was a girl
who was abused by her father,
abandoned by her family,
and fooled by her friends.
I AM NOT LONGER THAT GIRL.
I AM A GIRL
WHO IS FINALLY A FIGHTER
WHO IS FINALLY STRONG
who has finally found respect for herself.
I was broken,
my soul shattered into millions of pieces,
but i am healed
and more alive than ever.
i was lost
but now i am found.
Jan 20, 2017
Jan 20, 2017 at 9:38 PM UTC
I stand alone
Frozen, frightened, without power
Can I stay the course for one more day?
Perhaps one more hour?
This pain is gripping
Can I make it one more day?
The loneliness is crushing
My familiar habits could take all that away
Forty-three years I've been like this
Never jailed nor hospitalized
All this time, I've managed to get by
But for a wounded soul and tearful eyes
Too proud to ask for help
Too weak to make it without
Can I stay the course for one more day?
Will I be beaten by fear and doubt?
Maybe I can slip across the line
Maybe just for a day
I know that's a lie
Perhaps I can convince myself anyway
Every moment that goes by
I miss her warm seductive gaze
Couldn't we dance one more time
For an hour or a couple of days?
I know that won't work
This sickness she can't heal
Perhaps peace lies only
Is in the taste of the gunsmith's steel
I've been to a meeting
Actually four
There, I saw something else
Do those people have something more?
These people who meet
These people who share
How could they help me?
Why should they care?
To them … I'm a stranger
To me … I'm a shame
So why the warm embrace?
Why do they even remember my name?
They talk of a Higher Power
Can such a thing be?
But the question is moot
He would never want me
I fell wounded to my knees
A prayer slipped out
My vision a bit clearer
Less blurred by fear and doubt
If I ask for more
Will He grant it to me?
Maybe wisdom and courage
Perhaps acceptance and serenity
But if God is just
I should be punished without end
Instead ... a glimmer of hope
Instead ... a way to begin
Now, could I tell this in the rooms?
No, that's too naked - too daring
But maybe I'm wrong
Perhaps this is the stuff of sharing
Sep 29, 2013
Sep 29, 2013 at 8:10 PM UTC
The clock has stopped moving;
My skin has begun bruising.
I do not wish to live on,
but mother insists.
I have gotten used to her red eyes
and tear-stained cheeks.
Her body has begun giving out,
she is not taking care of herself.
She is far too busy watching,
far too busy waiting.
I am her priority,
although she should begin to let go.
I cannot stay this way.
Our eyes catch contact
all I can see is pain.
Her hand grazes my bare scalp
and she inhales a shaking breath,
"I love you, darling. Don't leave me just yet."
--amm
Aug 25, 2013
Aug 25, 2013 at 7:49 PM UTC
Medicinally induced
Theory of sleep
Theory of sleep
Theory of sheep
and its undeniable
counting properties
counting properties
counting prophesies
of wise men in lab coats
Medicated lies
Medicated lies
Dedicated lies
mindful rejection of drugs
convincing promise
convincing promise
convincing solace
drug induced eye-lid droop
Yet still fighting
Yet still fighting
Yet still fighting
The drugs that force
sleep, doctor recommended
non-hospitalized coma
induced sleep, deprived
Yet still fighting
Yet still fighting
the convincing promise
of medicated lies
and their counting properties
Theory of Sleep
Feb 3, 2011
Feb 3, 2011 at 9:04 PM UTC
Abused, Abandoned and Alone,
Bound, Beaten and Bruised
Captured and Categorized
****** Defeated and Damaged
Encompassed
Faded, Failing, Flinching
Gagged
Hopeless, Helpless and Hospitalized
Idealized, Impaired and Intoxicated
Judged
Kicked, Kept and Kissed
Labelled,
Marked, Molested and Misguided
Neglected
Obeying, Observed and Offended
Panicking, Pummelled and Promised
Quivering and Quaking
*****
Screaming, Scared and Starved
Throttled, Thirsty and Thinning
Unloved and Unable
Victimized
Wailing, Weakening and Wondering
an X
Yelling, Yanked and Yielding
Zeroed
May 10, 2016
May 10, 2016 at 10:07 AM UTC