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אני יכול לזכור...I can remember

I.

in the ashes of Auschwitz
February 2018 / Shevat 5778
there exists no
kol hachavvyot,
the Infinite One bring/ing
all of reality into be-ing.

there is no 'ehyeh 'asher 'ehyeh
who formed Light,
who created Darkness.

II.

the candles of the Vanished
World are no longer
sown in the seasons of breath.

in 1920 Vilna, Yehu'dit bones
were excavated for horses
to be buried,
all by the tongue of a priest
covered in ambergris.

in 2018 Cyberia alleys,
the malefactor mime cries
as Long Island parhelia
flicker in the seasonal
ice around his little girls.

III.

the cypress of the
Kingdom of Night are
amidst natz'ri house gardens,
marking in the mouths of
opus dei children the straws
of Poland.

long after midnight we seek
solace in One-Eyed Paritus's
Meditations obliques,
where Sol Nazerman's
zoharic midrashim of
Shabtai Zisel are
narrated by Claude Lanzmann.

the quantum nonlocality
of the corpse of
ha'Kodesh Barukh hu
is the Hollerith tracking
number.

IV.

Nach uraltem, aengstlich beheutetem
Klostergeheimnis lernen selbst Greise
muehelos Kavier spielen.
-- Max Ernst

this is to the memories z"l of
Rod Steiger 14 April 1925-9 July 2002
Roman Vischniac 19 August 1897-22 January 1990
Rose Leamel Ziebell (1933-2007)
Dottie Sutton (1922-2015)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
© 3 February 2018 / 18 Shevat 5778

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
STEPHAN PICKERING / חפץ ח"ם בן אברהם
Torah אלילה Yehu'di Apikores / Philologia Kabbalistica Speculativa Researcher
לחיות זמן רב ולשגשג...לעולם לא עוד
THE KABBALAH FRACTALS PROJECT
לעולם לא אשכח
Suffocation experienced analogous
to absent echocardiogram
or electroencephalogram blip
(Derek Chauvin - he of
George Floyd infamy) iron maiden grip
linkedin with psyche subjected
to laceration courtesy cruel horse whip
mine inexcusable
(albeit clueless faux pas)
family members living social in Bend, Oregon
and Oakland, California did yip
private information across cyberspace did zip.

Apology (ex post facto)
extended regarding about
mine guilt ridden conscience
programming mental state
think sufferable infinite
jesting Möbius strip
casting dark shadow of doubt
looping along outer limits
of twilight zone
futilely shucking off
emotional tailspin (kamikaze) fallout
impossible mission
unable to muzzle or thwart lout

who poetically blurts out
simian old routine programmed
erroneously heavily incorrectly
peppers entire Hollerith
or IBM punched cards
yielding botched defenseless redoubt,
when Yankee doodles dandy
teapot short and stout
convection currents trigger
whistle Dixie when liquid piping hot
a microcosm concerning plate tectonics
across webbed wide world
yielding necessary oomph
to migrating trout.

Absent awareness
flourished amidst ignorance
sixty plus shades of gray matter
hotly doth smolder and burn
unbeknownst rancor did furiously churn
when yours truly divulged
he made aborted attempt
to couch his genuine
paternal care and concern
lack of discrimination
and judgment I did not
(honest to dog) recognize nor discern.

Understandable blameworthy
grievance against me,
not granted app parent permission
thus culpability I obediently yield
words that sparked hurt
now utilized to wield
heft to communicate authentic love
(cryptically coded)
and hermetically sealed
hopefully in due time
mine discretion well healed.

Comeuppance generated
desire to **** self awoke
resolution to make amends
bedevils this bloke
who deservedly receives just desserts
invisible hand doth choke
living daylights, hence
nightmare scenario I evoke.

Following objective forthwith
pained papa doth aim
constitutes feeble attempt made
to reach out and accept blame
reckless transgression
to spout warrants claim
if religious, thence within perdition

while still alive
mine flesh set fire to flame
analogous to burnt offering
even that sacrifice considered lame
imposed upon lovely bones,
I cannot utter nor name
one garden variety primate repurposed
thru cremation his cruelty destiny will tame.

Awfulness permeates nerve wracked soul,
because behavior concerning yours truly
hashtagged boneheaded rogue
(as easily attested to courtesy the missus),
indiscriminately sharing sensitive information
innocently celebrating their joys and sorrows
concerning welfare of deux biological chicas 
which pathetic body, mind and spirit triage
attributed to where fool rushed into
where angels fear to tread.

No ambition, exertion, inspiration... arose
these last few days melancholy grows
a brief lull occurred,
whereby lack of crafting poems or prose
insync engulfed and teed off par
for the course
stainless steel pitch forked shows
with mettlesome irony
(perhaps witnessed
by dearth of posting)
finding me figuratively pitched
upon horns of dilemma.

Far from human league,
(more'n mark twain fathoms
into deep purple troubled waters)
I flounder amidst flotsam and jetsam
mankind receding toward lost horizon adios
at sea within Lake lachrymose
moody blue foo fighting
wretched beastie boy feels morose.

Subsequent diminution to write,
nevertheless mustered
aforementioned reasonable rhyme
attempting to describe psychological plight
thru arranging words, I take flight.

— The End —