Lying there lifeless
pretending...
Pretending to be asleep
the gray ceiling drips onto my face
with each passing second the
room gets smaller and
hotter
Smothered by restlessness
suffocated by longing
I sigh a heavy sigh
expelling another moment from my muddled life
debating on whether I should get up or not:
The effort of pulling off the iron covers
the indecision, the fear
afraid of being caught
Sneaking out to do naughty things?
I think not.
Something I shouldn't be doing?
Hardly.
Taking slow strides across the room
my eyes adjust
just enough
to bring forth indistinguishable shapes
I rely only on the silent energy
that the darkness emits
my ears pivot to pick up the blackness' ululating drone
I tune into its mystic frequency
abandoning all mixed signals that came about today
The slits of oceanic blue light
slather the window's opposing wall
an illuminescence too scarce to peg the door's frame
I twist the cold brass **** until I hear the click of metal
Tip - toe - ing . . .
through the never-ending runway-hallway that seems to
S T R E C H o n f o r M I L E S
strafing crucified
agaist the wall
still hitting every
creak I had been aiming to miss
Descending down
the steps
I reach the
Flat
one more step down and my excitement rises
I glide across wooden floors
stirring up invisible dust...
I am the lazy particles that float in the air
minus the fanned out beams of sunlight
shining through cracked blinds
to scream out my presence
and fuel my pestiness
Finally I am close
close enough to breathe steam on the storm door
remove the stick
push up the lock
pull. slide. open.
Ahhhh
The cold air knocks the wind into me
My first barefoot step is into a pool of icewater
turning to close the door I enter hypothermia
my body crystalizes, cracks, shatters, and re-crystalizes again
sitting down on the step I become inorganic
I tilt my empty heavy head up to the heavanly sky,
howling my thoughts to our silver satellite
I try to find comfort from afar - comfort my bed alone could not supply
my insides evaporate from my
frozen skin and
disperse into the air
my particles grow incandescent wings
the kind that effortlessly ***** and flutters
My molecules are ****** up towards the sky
they leave me behind to join the stars
I welcome their departure and wave goodbye
I hope when they return they bring back good tidings
Now that my insides are gone, my particles adrift,
My frozen-solid body is hollow
and so, a weight is lifted
(even if only temporarily,
the numbness is temporary)
Still gazing at the infinite clusters of stars like
woven celestial patchwork
littered across infinite black plains
I feel content admiring the lone stars
adventurous and brave as they come
Feeling like those lone stars,
trying to find my place
I snuck out to my backyard
All I needed was some space
