Everyday
You remind me
Of why I choose to live tonight
And not die today

You take a breath
And I do too
You take a breath
Exhale, and I taste you

We hold on to things we can’t help and we hate
We hurt at the sight of shame while losing our way
We bury our heads, we bury our dead day after day
But do we ever wonder if there’s another way?

Someday
You’ll find me
At the edge of all my hope
And in my throat not a word to say

For now let’s play
Chase me away
For now we’ll stay
Just one more day

Tomorrow I will still have so much to say to you
and when I die you’ll still try to give your love to me, too

I once laid in a bed similar to this
I had on me then a face of eagerness
A glint of some happy hope
I once went out into an open yard and swam through the sunshine as if it was the first time
I had my first smoke
For the first time I knew a dead person
And  I smelled the scent of despair
I grew up, I had doubts, and I never before had felt scared
And I’ve never been more scared than I am now
Because there are rows and rows of things that I can’t find out
That I will never know
That I will never feel or do or see or be
I live a half life soon to expire

how could there ever have been a moment between us
a vast moment of perfect eternity
when you won't even look me in the eyes?

how could i have ever lied to you
and yet still act surprised when
our pathetic excuses for conversations liquify
into pools of chewed up curiosities?

i guess i wonder sometimes maybe we...i don't know, never mind
but sometimes i just hope, you know?

Sand fills ‘tween wet toes
Laughter fills the open air
Resting on the beach

The crisp autumn air
Exhales winds of pumpkin spice
Inside I am warm

Winter’s frigid chill
Reduces us to remain
Curled up by the fire


Salty ocean waves
Ebb and flow and swirl around
My heart’s distant shores

Gazing at the waves
Into the sea’s sand-strewn edge
Time starts to crumble


Sick of skipping stones
Dreamers toss rocks in glass rooms
Closer to the stars

The moon never wished
Harder on a shooting star
“Let me shine alone”

You said "stay there,
I will come for you"

"You lied", I said
I would never leave

You died, and came
To me at long last

I tried, my best
But I couldn’t keep the tears back

When you love someone so much
it hurts to ******* breathe
Your bodies coincide
inside, it's the same bad blood you bleed
We sink and then we crumble
we tremble and we tumble
And behind our blurry eyes
we wonder why it took so long to find where we belonged

If you’re missing somebody and
Tonight you have nobody’s hand
If you feel like all that’s left of you is skin, no bones
I will be your body and, I will carry you home

I felt the fear of an incoming hurricane
Fleeing from an old home
I saw nothing but trust me
I felt it all
There’s a tormented heart
Inside all of us

The waves that battered my naked body
Told me of a cold world on the other side
So I buried my feet in the sand
And I braced myself to stand
To listen to all the horrors
That we’ve become

Until my body grew numb
For the longest time I knew only shame
But shame emerged into pain
And spilled into the crevices of regret and longing

It would take a lot to change that course for
The ground we stand on sinks and trembles
It will not last and
I still have not the courage to say I’m sorry

She waited for him for hours
she lost moments of her life for him
and where was he?
he wouldn't say

She hated him for days
she lost sleep out of disgust for him
and how did he sleep?
she'd never know

She wasted away for months
she never regained her taste for cigarette smoke
or the sun beneath her skin
and what was he doing?
he couldn't even remember

But she could never forget...

She remembered her name for years
  it came to her in nightmares
She remembered exactly how many tears fell
  on her bruised knees from her blue betrayed eyes

She knew he didn't know the hurt
  he couldn't imagine what it felt like to die
She knew that he would never know
  since "he has no heart... he's not a girl"

And yet, she still found the strength inside herself
the kind of strength that's an endless blue -- a blinding white
the kind that pulsates as it expands and doesn't crackle when it hardens

She found the strength to forgive him because

She was cosmic for a minute
she was held between his arms
and where was he?
exactly where she was

She was small for a second
she was jumping from her lips to his
and what was he doing?
building a paper house inside her chest