This apartment should have had an empty room
Not that I should complain I don’t pay the rent
You were supposed to leave your living room
She asks “how can we make it here?”
I guess I cant answer that
I guess I cant answer anything
I suggest we leave and find another way
Just drive aimlessly and with a purpose
There is no where else for us to go
The car turns into my fathers driveway and we say our goodnights
This wasn’t supposed to end like this
Think I will light a smoke before I rest my head
Make my way to the deck and think about what I should have said
Wonder why I come home
Wonder why I leave so many things left unsaid
Not ready to close my eyes but not sure if I need another beer
So I decide to crack a cold one and think about all the years
That I never said a word and never let go of my fear
I know I am too late but I want this too be true
But Monday I will fly out of sight
Just a phone call but a memory slighted by your touch
And its hard to make a story when I’m a catastrophe
While you have too many dreams
Its best for me to lay down
Best for me to hear your words
She asks “how can we make it here?”
I ask myself how I have even had a chance to keep it real

He played his Eko Ranger twelve string guitar
As he puffed away on his capstan cigars
Finger tips stained a colour of yellow
This placid man always remained mellow
Bob Dylan hits he would often play
All through the night and into the day

~~Bob Dylan Songs~~

“Don't think twice it's aright”
“I'll be your baby tonight”
“Subterranean homesick blues”
“Tonight I'll be staying here with you”

Often he would travel from Harwich to Liverpool
His mother lovingly prepared vegetarian food
Dedication to his family in so many ways
Committed forever, till his final day

But now in silence his guitar remains
No longer caressed in heaven he plays
In peace with god his songs he will choose
We didn't know it was you we would lose

It was so sudden, over all these years
We never knew we could lose someone so dear
The pain amplifies into the stars above
Our hearts will always be filled with your love

Always endearing memories will never leave
I hear your songs from within my heart I retrieve
One last goodbye sent to above and beyond
For one last time we play the goodnight song

Dedicated to my brother John who passed away 11th September 2008
Written 2009

A feeling not unlike depression
washes through me as I wait on
the platform
the five forty seven is yet again delayed
and now I am too.

There's a wind blowing in from Harwich and it cuts to the marrow
of my bones.

Why not a penalty fare when the train is not there
on time?

I question
I question
a succession of questions
a procession of questions
I fixate on the questions
while I wait for the train.

And then it arrived
they all cheered
I tried
but couldn't.

It's programming
designed to put you down
and slam you in

This country is as wasted
as the people I see who
travel in this carriage with me

they're all asleep and can't see me screaming.