There was an old crab from the Andes
Who had claws in the place of the handies
She wasted her time
Chasing the sublime
Now she snips chickens in Nandy's


There was an old knight whose great sword
He'd swing so not to get bored
He ran through the Prince
But started to wince
When he saw the royal horribly gored


There was a dear ledger from Ryde
Who had Gods love at his side
He wrote bibles for pence
On an old picket fence
That loveable ledger from Ryde


There was an old fellow from Greece
Who always wore a golden fleece
He rode his horse far
Faster than any car
Because of the healing properties of the fleece


There was a camera man from Spain
Who always used to film in the rain
The water was wet
He'd always forget
Electrocutions caused him great pain


There was an old man whose bonnet
Was woven with pages of sonnet
For he was a poet
And didn't he know it
Pretentious old man with his bonnet


There was a young man whose cuticles
Were ornately fashioned in cubicles
He was so vain
To be pretty again
He funded big time pharmaceuticals


There was an old frigate from mars
Whose cannons sounded like guitars
This frightened the queen
Who vented her spleen
And shot the space frigate from cars


A cat and a mouse and a dog
Lived in a big giant frog
They always ate brie
For breakfast and tea
Now they all wear one sandal one clog


There was an old pear from Derry
Who was scarcely if ever so merry
He fell from a tree
Landing in a lee
Till farmer Giles turned him into perry


There was a young lady whose toliet
Was broken so plumber would oil it
The new seat would come
To comfort her ***
Until another breakage would spoil it!


There was an old dog with a dream
To build her own mighty trireme
She'd sail the sea
And be back home for tea
If only she had opposeable thumbs


There was an old butcher whose feet
Would every third sunday tread meat
He rolled in the blood
That came in a flood
From cuts in the **** so discrete


There was a young boy with three heads
Who slept in three seperate beds
Whenever he dreamt
He lost what it meant
(The downside of having three heads)


There was an old eagle who'd sing
About losing her old violin
She gave up the search
To perch in a birch
And starved herself horribly thin


There was an old priest by a tomb
Who curled up inside a stone womb
For so close to death
He cursed every breath
And waited the slow march of doom

The meaning of I am not your daddy




You see when I first became an adult, I was feeling very cool
And I just had a friend who was very loyal to me
And then I started getting very emotional and I drank a lot of beer
And when people teased me again, I felt so insecure
I went completely **** crazy, my head was in a mess
My loyal friends voice was lurking about in it
Trying to say the words, I am not your daddy
I am definately not your daddy, I can be a friend to you
And I can enjoy life with you, but please oh please, man
Don't treat me like your daddy
At first I was unfamiliar about voices like these
I didn't want know what to do
I felt my friend was teasing me, man I was very ******
I said, to him, what for why you tease ,e
I thought you were my friend, mate
I thought you liked me,,and I know now teasing is nothing
But, you should tease, oh yeah
But you should tease a more proper way
Instead of up there with the adults
You sit there talking to the adults and telling them how was your day
And you probably now have kids of your own
So you don't want to mess with me, pal
So I want you to say, I am not your daddy
Cause because it inspires me to move on
You see I have got new friends now, mate
I don't want to cramp ya fucken style
As I try to say the words, I am not your daddy
I am definately not your daddy
Now I can control these voices
With medication and a bit of tender loving care
I now see him frowning at me, thinking I am so weird
And he just wants to teaee, so I can cope with that
My friend has to realise that we aren't young anymore
But his voice ain't really real you know, it is just a fucken thought
You see he likes to play handies with me
And also he likes to talk to me too
But really I ain't scared, no fear,,I won 't worry no no
You see, I see my loyal friend as a person who is teasing me
And when in developed a mental illness, he tried to make
Himself out to be this tough person

He used to say, mate, don't be a kid mate
Still not a kid mate, because we had so much fun together
I know we ain't kids anymore, but I want to move on
From this whole being mental phase, no
I want to be normal