If she's still reading the poems i told her not to
I wouldn't mind anymore
because my mind is filled with too much paranoia to give a **** now
i have my episodes where I can't forget things
well lets just stay
i am on a loop
well you made things too explicit
took away the one thing you knew i clinged onto
can't act as free as i was back then
well thanks for cutting down the wings which now i grew one again
am still in contact with you
just being the way i was
and will be
and I would like to hear it from you this time that you made it till here reading not accepting these things into your brain
I don't know why I can't let loose on this ****
and i write this after a long time
because i am on one of those episodes right now
thinking of your maybe deceit
If you are reading this , you prove out to be filled with back stabbing treachery .
a gift to you my beloved .
you are gonna regret if you are already here
By reading this you just failed yourself a little more .....
hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

1: Ah, I'm not ready yet.
2. I'm still just trying to get situated, you know?
3. Also, I ******* hate dating
4. I'm totally comfortable with being alone at the moment.
5. Maybe too comfortable! (Hahahahahahahaha)
6. I'm probably more of a loner-type, you know?
7. I've never been very good at relationships, and they almost always don't end well.
8. Oh god, I can't even tell you the last time I was in a serious relationship.
9. It's been a long time since I've been with someone.
10. (Maybe too long! (Hahahahahahahahahahaha))
11. Ah, just the headache and heartache and having to answer to someone else all of the time. I prefer to just only have to look out for myself.
12. And I have enough trouble just doing that, most days . . .  
13. In a relationship, it's almost like you have to split yourself in two.
14. And in my not-so-humble opinion, when you add the two parts together, they still don't exactly equal a whole, you know?
15. I don't know. I'm just too selfish I guess.
16. Are you kidding? Yea but no, totally. She's beautiful, and seems really nice.
17. But beauty and kindness kinda freaks me out, you know?
18. It's been too long since beauty's been nice to me. (Maybe too long! (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA))
19. I'm ******* mental, really.
20. Anyone who tries to get close to me realizes that before too long.
21. No, not the interesting kind of mental; more like the annoying/intolerable kind.
22. I don't think I could handle it, honestly.
23. And honestly, it's been so long that just the idea of becoming emotionally involved with someone else scares the ever-living **** out of me.
24. Alright, **** it. Sure, why not? What's her name again?