"grump" poems
Chlamydia, you grumpy cow!
You're twice as grumpy as Sarah the sow.
Half as happy as Jennifer hen,
But ten times better than all the men !
Chlamydia, Chlamydia,
we never will get rid of yer.
A fixture in the draughty barn,
giving us milk and a gossipy yarn.
Have some grass and Chrstmas cake,
have a snooze and then awake,
to a surprise picnic on your floor,
then you can be a grump once more.
Jan 2, 2011
Jan 2, 2011 at 7:12 AM UTC
The Grump put on his morning face.
Wiped away crystallised grit ,
Straight out of her teared up eyes.
My goodness this poem is shaped out of ****
A deliberate ploy,
For she is woman, and he is boy.
He had a *** change,
Normally grumpy is male, hee hee,
Today grumpy is me.
The last Sunday of a somewhat sulky year.
Look deep in my eyes and surely you'll see a tear.
I don't cry.....
Why ever should I ?
Mentally strong as a freaking ox,
Manipulative as a silver fox.
A wicked sense of humour.
Thank f**k ,
Without that I'd probably have no luck,
Not out on the pull.
That just isn't cool.
Ladies don't.
This lady can't be bothered!
(C) Livvi
Dec 28, 2014
Dec 28, 2014 at 9:11 AM UTC
Old grump not so pleased
Out to see what's at ease
In the winter cold deep freezing
Gentle words melts his heart that's a first
Oh! Quit teasing
Slow to talk yes he stutters which we find kind'er amusing
Rolled away cast aside old and frail free from using
What's the fuss all about in his eyes it looked confusing
Watch your step! Missed a step
Broke a leg not so easy
Mar 7, 2013
Mar 7, 2013 at 3:55 PM UTC
You couldn't relate to my life if you tried
Degenerate pride, in my pride, the family all died
I took a trip, slip from the front door
Walking to the house of a man with some more
Of the poison of my mother, the mater, my pater, the father
My brothers and sisters slumped against a wall, injecting
It gets harder
I'm a martyr
But I fall farther
Brown brings ardour
In the haze of detestable days, bus journey raves
To the estates, I'm in a state, I hate fate
Try and place blame, struggle to get straight
But straight to the point, you're a mate
Pass the plate, and the joint
I'll do a line, get straight
Straight to the point...
Where was I?
Back in the house, forgot how I got here
The emptiness too much to bear
I miss my family being here
My mother the seer
My father drinking beer
I close my eyes, open, hope they appear
The loneliness of the kitchen feels so queer
I pop a few pills and realise its been a year
Since I saw them here
Fading to black and I awake in a wrack
Fiending for some smack, panic attack
Light up a pipe, smoke some pale crack
Keep me going on this lonesome track
So I pack my bag, down a glass of Jack
And get back on the beaten path
To the corner where I find her, solemn in a slump
Hard night's day, I give her cash and we arrange the jump
Pump pump, I dump my junk and feeling drunk
Walk silently in a grump, she re-adjusts her skirt
and returns to her bunk
To her lifelong funk
before being packed into another John's trunk
The streetlights are cruel in the winter night's haze
What beautiful days, in a daze, feeling amazed
Clasp my hands and I pray, am I crazed
or is this mournful delay
A year ago today,
my love took my family away
Sep 1, 2013
Sep 1, 2013 at 6:01 PM UTC
Awaiting was I,
patience safely intact.
As the wind so fiercely flew,
it blew my patience, away too .
How rude.
Walking was I, now,
confused was how I felt
as a sudden overwhelming sadness
Tore it's way through my body,
thrusting through my chest spitting tears upon my breast.
I stumble as my pace starts to increase...
it's thoughts of you that surfaces to my brain..
how dare you settle amongst my mind
how dare you resurface when I had this all sorted out
How dare you pretend you know me when I no longer know myself
How dare I contradict the very essences of my being through, thoughts of you.
A way with you distraughting thoughts, for you have always had a way of fracturing my fragile mind...
The rain she came and put me to more shame.
lame is my heart as my thoughts would not depart.
You may not be the first but, my God, I hope you are the last.
for you make the sun shine through my rain you are the stillness to my day
you are the laughter that chokes my throat.
I know you are with another, but I'm not just any other.
I don't wanna be with you for that repulses my conscience brain, even though I feel for you so.
I want you to take this all away way, shove it in a bottle and chuck it out to sea
for the lovers that we will never be, to greet.
The echo of your "tomorrows" still ring in my ears,
Tis the creases upon your smiling face, I would still love to embrace.
I know i said tis the happy you i'd chose and refuse the grump that most times appears..
but i fear that it's the all of you i'd like to greet when it shows to my feet.
I heard me beat in side your heart once upon our time...
Don't tell me it's normal to feel this way.
Don't tell me this is how it was all meant to be
and that you were meant for me
For it's still her untouched body that i crave
what happen to my brave..
did you take that from me to the day i spoke to you...
-Yanehs magta
Nov 16, 2012
Nov 16, 2012 at 7:43 PM UTC
I woke up very early this morning, restless and bothered, itchy for the day to happen. As dawn broke orange, the city was revealed. I’ll never get tired of watching that. The snow was gone but a gloss over the city streets indicated ice. I scanned the landscape for movement - for life - like a predator.
Lisa and I are headed back to school today, at 11am, by air, which our parents feel is the best way to avoid our old, holiday nemesis omicron (doesn’t that make us sound like secret agents?).
Once everyone was finally up, Lisa and I got our busy-on, doing the last load of laundry and final packing. Lisa, packs a suitcase, by throwing clothes in without bothering to fold them, while I meticulously fold and roll my clothes, like a marine headed for deployment.
As Lisa and I worked, Leeza (12) was lying on Lisa’s bed, on her back with her head hanging over the edge - watching us pack upside down. Her red hair looked like a thrown plate of spaghetti.
Leeza was talk, talk, talking and gnawing on a toasted bagel at the same time. “How do you feel about going back to school?” she asked us. “OH, feelings!” I gasped, “A free therapy session!” “No, really,” she said, grown serious and rolling right side up.
Leeza is cute as a button and vulnerable - I could almost feel her anxiety. As the youngest sibling I’d been left behind too - you don’t want the holiday to end and your big sister to leave - it’s a singularly lonesome feeling. I wanted to grab her, like a puppy, wrestle her and tell her I love her and I’d miss her - like my sister used to do with me. I decided that as soon as we were done packing, I would.
“My GOD,” Lisa said to Leeza, “will you PLEASE shut up! I have to think.” Leeza blushed and shrugged “I’m just making conversation, grump-face, you’ve packed a million times before haven’t you?” “Does counting to 10 make ****** premeditated?” Lisa asked the ceiling.
Suddenly, Lisa dropped the blouse she’d been holding and pounced on Leeza, tickling her as she squealed with delight. In a second they’d become a ball of flailing arms, legs, hair and playful noise. I slunk out of the room to give them their sister’s goodbye.
Besides, I smelled bacon.
Jan 14, 2022
Jan 14, 2022 at 9:19 AM UTC
This morning brought to you by a lack of everything.
Also forgiving every customer solely on the basis that they haven't had coffee yet.
Like Oprah Winfrey is in my blood handing out second chances.
"You get a smile!"
"You get a smile"
"Go **** Y!~ ou get a smile!."
Because we've all been there. Pre-Java grump at everything.
So I guess what i'm saying is...
Rich white people who probably won't read this....
I get you.... you're welcome for the coffee and optimism.
I hope you pay it forward in some way...
May my smile and
My compliment of your expensive jewelry transmorph through your ears into your brain and out your mouth at...
A fellow employee
Or
Your children
Or
Your husband.
May they see you significantly after you drink this coffee.
Which I did not. could not. possibly tamper with. (Hehe. Tamper)
Because this is self serve.
So, "Go S*rve Yourself."
And have a nice day.
Feb 20, 2016
Feb 20, 2016 at 12:13 PM UTC
Morning
the alarm goes off
I wake up
I turn it off
I go back to sleep
My mom or dad comes in
they wake me back up
I lie in bed
for 10 more minutes
then I get up
I go to the bathroom
and stare at myself in the mirror
I sigh...
I pretend to wash my face
I go back to my room
I stare at my closet
and decide what I'm going to wear
I get dressed
I go down stairs
I eat one of the following items:
oat meal
-Chocolate chip
-Maple brown sugar
-apple cinnamon
Whole wheat bagel with almond butter, peanut butter, cinnamon, and/or jam
cereal if there are any good options
-Peanut butter bumpers
-GOOD granola
-organic chocolate *****
with coconut milk
toast with the same things as bagels
I say good morning to parents
I argue with my sister
I drink my orange juice
eat my vitamins
bring my stuff up to the sink
go up stairs
I lie on my bed
I go into the bathroom
I brush my teeth
I go downstairs
I pack my backpack
I pick out some shoes
I yawn
I go to school
School
I go to advisory
We play cake(a game)
First class
I space out
I draw pictures
unless that class is of the following:
PE
Writing lab (if it's not about grammer or spelling)
Art
Music(Because all the string instruments make it impossible)
I go to math
I get too confused to know what the hell is going on
I go to writing lab
we write and then teacher goes into some speech about commas
I go to french
I have no idea what the teachers talking about
I go to PE
If we aren't playing soccer, basketball, dodgeball, batmitten, capture the flag, or volleyball than I ****
Lunch
Yay!
I eat
I talk
I chill
More classes
Art
I tell my teacher how much I love her outfit
I read the board
and I make art
Music
UGHHHH
THE TEACHER IS SUCH A GRUMP!!!
I listen to her yell at people
I play my instrument
Study
Almost done with school
I finish a bit of homework
Going home (Or going nordic skiing)
I get a snack
I do homework
I have dinner with the family
I do more homework
I get ready for bed
I read
I go to bed
Every day is the same
the weekend is just a bunch of chores
hanging with friends some times
and stay up late watching my favorite shows:
Bones
Glee
CSI NY
CONAN
SNL
Ugh I need a change.
Jan 13, 2011
Jan 13, 2011 at 1:12 PM UTC
. Tea with the Pastor, milk and one lump
Visits get regular, leads to a ****
Soon no disguising the growing bump
He's in denial, quite the grump
Deserves a slap and accurate thump
Receives a doorstep greeting-card dump
Church congregation starting to slump
Bishop demands control your stump
Still he claims no sin with the "frump"
DNA evidence gives him a jump
Exposing a less than holy chump
Loving her child hers is the trump
Feb 25, 2013
Feb 25, 2013 at 3:53 PM UTC
You are that person everyone knows
Who ******* almost constantly
About everything that ever goes
Away from how you think it should be.
You have it worked out in your head
Who should get what and when
And how much is right or wrong
And exactly what kind of men
Should have luck and who should
Suffer a miserable fate.
And which people are no good
And which race is truly great.
Why do you take such joy
In making folks around you cry?
So much so that the best thing
They hear you say is goodbye.
Why do you choose hurtful way
To get yourself some attention?
Isn’t there something you can say,
Something nice you can mention
That will make people smile
And not run so quickly away
Then stay with you a little while;
Enjoy some of the things you say?
When did all this all nastiness start?
Is it something from your childhood
Made you take pleasure breaking hearts
Every single chance you could;
And if people are having fun
Makes you jump in and stop
The frivolity and joyousness
Like some kind of buzzkill cop.
Life might change for the better
If you returned the smiles you get.
You’re a big grump now, for sure
Be nice and people will soon forget.
Dec 11, 2015
Dec 11, 2015 at 7:35 PM UTC
Those greasy, slimy, whickered faces. The raunchy day old grubby look. Face of a torn up werewolf and body of a useless human. The filthy high stench of pickle and sour croute odor rising, the dreadful slump walks of the unloving creatures. The way they look puts chills on your bones that crawl up to the center of your brain. That one eyed loose tooth taunt that stares at you every night is a sin. The gruesome body that makes a horror in a child’s eye is evil. With the stained, tattered, grump and lump, deep dished in sewer and horrifying clothes that aged rapidly, theres no way you’ll live a week or so. Their screeching scary moan that’s deadful to any. Its mind and body yelps for the organs of a live one. Cold and empty; the once lived corpse that haunts and attacks like no other. No way in mind it can tell you’re there, but it can sense your frightful fear. It rises from its ground to seek out flesh. Be aware, awakened, cautious, wise, and high up from the ground onto your precious feet. These kinds of reckless thieves can steal any living soul without a care. It’s there to do its time. It’s a zombie.
Jan 27, 2014
Jan 27, 2014 at 6:44 PM UTC
haven't written
for
a while
tonsils
kickin'
up
my style
anger-grump-red-eyesies-ness
la la la la
stress
heads
watchin' watchin' watchin
moi
(are you?)
(tryin'tryin'tryin')
to find you
two
i
am
May 29, 2013
May 29, 2013 at 5:51 AM UTC
Too tired to sleep too stubborn to fight
eyes resist both closing and capturing pictures
leaving one (Me) to be in a state of zombified negligence and grump.
Sleepy funk, like dreaming a boring black and white
film covers retinas and lenses
brain swirls in intoxication of running on E
and not even the fun kind
just the Empty kind that needs some juice
or nap
or maybe just some lovin' from a certain someone ****
though that's a stretch
and muscles are currently too ****** to reach that far
or scratch broken ribs of progress or even to
drink much of anything
just trying to be happy
though one needent need to try
just breathe and try not to wish for the night
because today may be the last or next to last
and the uncertainty just causes more anxiety
so the cycle of strife rains on its acid and placidity
until finally I'll crash
or implode, or cry
and it'll be great
because breakdowns are necessary for life and peace and tranquilizing.
May 28, 2012
May 28, 2012 at 12:48 PM UTC
Push; Rid yourself
Shake away all that you believe
A rust colored wrench wrapped
By your stubborn breath
The fire fades away
And the warmth
Crimson falling, out of touch
Retracted limbs bring answers
Buried with an additional thought
Nov 4, 2012
Nov 4, 2012 at 10:33 PM UTC
To the USA, a travelling circus came,
They elected a brand new President,
And Donald was his name.
Over-night, and it's such a crying shame,
He's divided American Politics,
To advance his wealth and fame
Donald the President waved his hands,
And pointed up with his finger,
He said to the world 'My name is Trump,
Trump, Trump, Trump!
Donald the President's building a wall,
To keep out thousands of migrants,
The USA is becoming a dump,
Dump, Dump, Dump!
People from many nations,
Tried to intervene,
They shouted and marched,
And waved their signs,
And made an ugly scene.
But Donald the President waved his hands,
and pointed up with his finger,
He'll have his way,
He's taken the ****
**** **** ****
Oh, what a to-do,
He's surrounded himself with fools,
Firstly they blame Obama spies,
and then it's GCHQ.
His travel ban
has been thwarted in Maryland,
Then the repeal of Obama care,
Has been grounded where it stands.
But Donald the President promised the earth,
To all the American people,
'We'll make America great again',
Pump, Pump, Pump!
Donald the President hates the Press,
They're 'Fake News' creators,
They're pedlars of lies,
They're all the same,
Grump, Grump, Grump!
From Iran to NATO,
The problems start to swell,
From Syria, and Israel,
To North Korea as well.
But Donald the President's borrowing cash,
to try and save the Republic,
How will they ever pay it back?
Slump, Slump, Slump?
The president may be a Billionaire,
Who wants control of the Senate,
But some said Putin was pulling some strings?
Chump, Chump, Chump !
May 12, 2017
May 12, 2017 at 4:09 AM UTC
Mr. Miller was our neighbor,
And what a mean, grumpy old man!
At least that's what we kids thought.
Whenever we saw him, we all ran.
He seemed to have an uncanny sense
Of knowing when we were in his yard.
Some of the feisty neighborhood kids
Tried to catch the grump off guard.
At Halloween the Miller house
Was one I always tried to avoid
Until one night my friend said, "Let's visit
The Millers." I wasn't overjoyed.
Mr. Miller opened the door
And--wow!--he wasn't wearing a frown.
He and his wife were warm and friendly
And they had the BEST candy in town!
It's odd how suddenly a person can change
To a kind neighbor from a mean old ****
But amazingly the transformation
Was not in him, it was in my heart.
Soon after that Halloween he died
From a heart attack; that left us in shock.
I'll never forget kind Mr. Miller--
The "Boo Radley" on our block.
How often we judge before we know!
How often we live in fears we create!
Once our eyes are opened, how glorious!
But when that happens, it's often too late.
- by Bob B
Oct 9, 2016
Oct 9, 2016 at 8:47 AM UTC
*Words That Rhyme With Trump
Lump: as in ***** grabbing
**** as in ***** grabbing
**** as in his oversized ****
Plump: as in his oversized ****
Frump: as in his long red tie
Clump: as in his vain comb-over
Grump: as in his tweets: SAD SAD SAD
Chump: as in the electorate
Slump: as in his popularity
Stump: as in understanding Unishid Sshtashs
Dump: as in the Mid-terms
Mugwump: as in this word speaks for itself.*
Sep 18, 2018
Sep 18, 2018 at 9:14 AM UTC
Can I not just doss in scruffy jeans?
With hair not brushed.
Nails not manicured, make-up left on, never washed off.
Never rushed.
Can I not scream and shout?
Can I not be allowed to verse my P.M.T?
May I not grump at my kid?
As other mums do.
Must I keep my temper under the lid;
Stashed below.
My placid fascinator.
When I feel snappy as an alligator.
May I not cuss?
It's just not me, you know
The rest of the family are used to all this.
I do my best, but sometimes need to hiss.
I can't release my outburst, in emotions spoken.
They'd tie me up in metaphorical knots.
The press hounds would rip me and chew me to bits.
Spit me out, leaving, nothing but spiteful gravel.
I'm the Duchess of Cambridge, would you be me?
(c) Livvi
Apr 3, 2014
Apr 3, 2014 at 3:32 AM UTC
President ****
A massive old grump
Talks like a garbage dump.
Throws the country into a slump.
Has no heart to go thump.
Gave racism a big jump.
Gathered fascists into a clump.
Now we all have to ****
He should be inconsequential
As he has no credentials.
Nothing presidential.
Statesmanship? Purely residential.
He’s mostly pestilential.
No morals evidential.
Facts ruled non-essential
To mindless millennials.
Suddenly he has at hand
The highest office in the land.
Confetti and a brass band.
No ceremony is too grand.
The laws he doesn’t understand
With money ostentatiously fanned
He showed he had the winning hand
But still can’t spell words like ampersand.
Now we’ve made him king of all
Among villains he will stand tall.
We should give Ghostbusters a call.
This **** has us against a wall.
A wall to be built that will surely fall
But for now he is having a ball
With American bigots in full thrall,
Their white God has heard their call.
Jan 10, 2017
Jan 10, 2017 at 2:45 PM UTC
We should throw a party and then
Dump a Trump
Give Trump lumps
Make him jump.
Drag him over the same kind of bumps
He dragged us and laughed at us.
Dump a Trump!
Deserves a massive thump;
He’s a whiny grump!
Dump a Trump!
Anyone who has the name of Trump
Should kiss our collective ****
We should get together and just
Dump a Trump
Oust that schlump
To the city dump.
Treat him like he treated those before
And send him home on a city bus.
Dump a Trump!
Deserves a massive thump;
He’s a whiny grump!
Dump a Trump!
Anyone who has the name of Trump
Should kiss our collective ****
Let's call a convention and
Dump a Trump!
He’s a festering clump
As dim as Forest Gump.
New Yorkers call him a stupid ****
We hope all see that he is finally busted
That his former shine is obviously rusted.
Dump a Trump!
Deserves a massive thump!
He’s a whiny grump!
Dump a Trump!
Anyone who has the name of Trump
Should kiss our collective ****
Aug 16, 2017
Aug 16, 2017 at 6:59 PM UTC
Now listen to the tale of Lila LaRue
A tale that taught us
to think before you do.
A plump gal she was, weighed three hundred and three
She had a strange love for berries, you see?
She hopped down Yale Trail,
And sat on stump
Plop! Right next to Edward the grump.
Edward was old, his memory fading
and didn’t appreciate Lila’s space invading.
“Lila,” he grumbled
“what do you need?”
“I’m looking for the old Yale Berry Tree!”
He sighed and humphed and grumped and thought,
“Kids these days.”
The adventures they sought!
He pointed to the left,
and said ”follow the trail.”
How Lila couldn’t wait to fill her pail!
Lila ****** to her side,
And broke into a run;
She had to get berries
‘Fore the day was done.
But then Edward shouted
something she couldn’t make out
so she lifted her head to see what it was about.
But she tripped on a root
And fell into a tree
“Its old Yale!”
Lila thought with great glee.
She plucked off a berry,
with a strange looking skin
But what was stranger
Was what lied within.
The juice is too ****
she thought much too late.
Then the grump found her,
in her lifeless state.
“Such a fool, that Lila LaRue.
never read the sign, like I told her to do.”
“Poisonous Berries, please do not eat.”
The sign read, freshly painted and neat.
Always listen to Edward
for he is old and wise.
“Never let a careless mistake
become your demise.”
Jul 5, 2013
Jul 5, 2013 at 3:30 AM UTC
****
Chump
Garbage Dump
Grump
Frump
Sewer Pump
Plump
Stump
Malignant Lump
Thump
****
****** up our country
Nov 20, 2020
Nov 20, 2020 at 3:40 PM UTC
Every time I sit down with the intention of expunging thoughts from my jumbled up and cloudy mind
The wires get tangled
The letters mush together into pictograms that I can't decipher
My intentions and my feelings come out in a foreign way
I don't even understand what they're trying to say and
it's
so
maddening
to realize that I can't even communicate with myself
Am I declining into insanity?
Or am I just far more smitten with you than I even let myself believe?
Your presence wraps around me and nothing else matters.
When I feel you near, I am happy.
And it ****** me off.
Sometimes I want to rage
and grump
and pout
and there are so many things about you that make me want to just smile and say it's okay
even when it's a lie
So when I lash out and strike you
when I get snippy and short of tongue
I'm just trying to stay grounded in my ever overwhelming emotional state
I'm just trying to stay sane
Even though the overwhelming thought of you nearly bursts my membrane
You've turned my poems to **** and my heart to sludge
and
I love you.
Sep 2, 2013
Sep 2, 2013 at 11:37 PM UTC
you mock my pain,
cheering me on.
like —
for real.
i’m annoyed.
a bit hurt.
disappointed,
because my first attempt
didn’t work.
you tell me it’s okay —
when it’s not.
you say it’s an easy fix —
i know it is.
yet i sit in the grump,
because i wasted time,
energy,
looking forward to this.
if it’s a let-down,
you say, ten percent of it is.
i say, ninety —
so you argue,
i’m too pessimistic.
bite me.
Sep 20, 2025
Sep 20, 2025 at 6:14 PM UTC
you wanna stump for donald trump?
you’re a ******* chump
he makes me pull my hair out in clumps
you think i’m being a grump?
Do you see that picture over there of mr. trump?
watch as i sit down on it and take a giant dump
Dec 14, 2015
Dec 14, 2015 at 10:03 AM UTC