When it's not like the movies
Pour some yey in that girls nose
Hold it closed
She doesn't need an ambulance, shut up
Been doin this since I was eleven
A little *** girl, she's fine she's fine
Do you wanna get us ALL in trouble?
Haha girl, you're good
There she is!
Oh, maybe not
Get her in the tub, the tub
Cold water works best
Hold her head up
Haha fuckkk
Okay okay that's good get a towel
Get her in bed
Just wait a little bit she'll be up soon
You're so lucky you have me
Crazy *** Calli
Wild lil baby
Somebody get me a **** drink
Whew

I don’t know how to start this. Or why I did. I just know I want something. Something much more than what He gave me. I want to start over. ****. I want to stop *******. Fuckkk.

Ha if only, if only.

I love Him. I love Her. Who is this? Who is it at the door of all my transgressions. Who will be the man to carry my pain, to put it over his shoulders and tell me, “it’s okay. You aren’t insane.” Yet.

**** me.
**** me.
Tuck me into the covers of your love, despair. 50/50 chance at whatever you choose. 50/50 chance to win or lose.

Close minded individual.
I see it in your visual.

Nothing more is seen than what is near
Nothing more is seen that you can fear.

“Ignorance is bliss”
So true is that deceitful kiss.
Paradox is fine,
Its my kind.
So sweet that lie of life being pure.

Life being,

Good.
Better.
Best.

Nothing like some rest…

(December 2011)

Me: Hello,
Him: Hello ,hey
Me: Can I ask you a quick question?
Him:Sure ask anything,
Me:Can I move on now,It's been 4 months
Him:Why have you met someone else?
Me: No I havent because I keep waiting for you,
Me: You call me all sorts of pet names knowing I love you then nothing
Him: I thought I told you its nothing serious.
Me:Rembering I gave  him my virginity,Him introducing me to his family as his wife to be,Him showing me off and then the fights,his anger issues and then him finally dumping me and me seeing him all over another girl
Him:Listen I just started seeing someone else it's been two weeks
Him: I don't want things to change between us,
Him: Ash are you there?
Him: Hey ASh?
Me: Coahz I loved you so much I waited for for months for you to stop being angry,I lost my virginity to you ,spent money on you,was it not enough ,I'm I not enough never mind tho,thank you for ...
Him: Fuckkk
Him:Hangs up