I was wearing that dumb sweatshirt
you bought me last Februray,
it smells like the Newports you smoke
and feels brand new,
even though I stuffed in my closet for a year

I played your favorite song on repeat
pretending you're here
laughing, smiling,
and kissing me on my neck to make me groan
like you do

It felt like ice cubes coming from my eyes
and I couldn't stop shaking
and I couldn't stop crying
and I kept praying
(even though I don't believe in God)
that you would wake up
in that stupid hospital bed