i am free like the stars and the heavens that make me be..
i am free like the blackness of night that make me see.. i am free..
i am free like the words that swim to become poems..
i am free like those people who learn to love and live in homes.. i am free..
i am free to feel and to think like those mentals who enjoi seeing shrinks..
i am free to be in pain with nothing much to gain.. i am free..
i am free to live and love again..
like the burdens that i carry knows no end.. i am free just to be.. just to be.. i am free..
i am free like when winds touch the seas to create waves..
i am free to live inside crumbling walls and live inside caves.. i am free..
i am free to write and to spit on pens and papers..
used to create isolates spaces and lie on craters.. i am free..
i am free just to be who i am.. and who i am is not as free as i want to be..

pauldeeeeee
5march2011

Scraping by on pennies added to dimes with 25 cent pieces in the           laundry mat- sure to make fine dining at a cost of some old sailor who’s early retirement was all but his own

Killed in the heart but @ the mercy of men and fielded in newspapers swept under the cold damp dank swell of emotion- and (I) enjoi the cafe immensely

Candles burned and tuna can saliva made for glossed over window sills

Your still and always  losing . Paint them with their own blood. You mean nothing

I could write you a song,
but that wont do.
I could write you a poem,
about things you already knew.
I could try to persuade you,
but the heart ignores that to.
I could buy you a necklace,
but you would refuse.
I could wait,
my life would end.
Or, I could forget,
long time to forget.
You’re killing me,
I slightly enjoi it.
You’re perfect for me,
but we will never be.
I showed you my heart,
you left it open,
empty,
alone.

the wind water and fish bites
swings cherry trees and stringy things
me @ a little past midnight

whispering weeping and waiting for you

canoe paddles,  Sunday strolls and a knife attack
I do enjoi candy corn stolen from the church vestibule
as the priest takes hold of my arm.
THIEF!

whispering weeping and waiting for you  

As he beats me and strangles my every life's pleasure
away from me and tells me that God only cares for people
who can obey

so I look in the distance for something to cling to and reasons to go on singing but what I do find is already gone
and the vegetables are spoiling there right in the sink rotting away just like my soul has and I have nothing left to drink,

well anyways... its fine-   well anyways- well any ways-   any ways....

whispering weeping and waiting for you

Your still and always 📉 losing . Paint them with their own blood. You mean nothing

I wonder where I’ll be when you come down...

Could you even think to speak?
To explain the actions behind such a disastrous act
With the words that I speak
They are held on my tongue
            
                                             ­   I should have ripped his head off

Watch the blood from my eyes slide down inside
and fill you up with the irony ironic blood that you chose
                                                           ­               So when the door is closed and you can’t go back
                                                       Smile loud and sing out somehow to somewhere out of town
                                                            ­                      to the distant lands of my youth and re birth

This is your brain without me
                                                  Rotten to the stem
                                                  The core is empty

Tattoo your ******* face and lose your job that was never there
Turn around click undo but don’t forget them there
they held you up once

She did find me in the wicked night
Sinning about the city
Living in and around the city
                                                     I should have killed him when you had no chance

This may come as a shock to you all
But I’m done here or there
                                            Or anywhere

I’m done with the light that once shined so bright in my eyes
It is now a vacant home for the demons to return
Enjoi my dreams and fears, demon ******
Take all of my sleep and drink it down with your pills
Split my back open and let me forget how to fall perfectly still


                                                                          Give up Andy
                                                                        You will not win





                                                                           I will rise up
                                                                       But only in the end

I crept in late that night and was mesmerized by you. I kissed your brain through your hips that always lead to ur lips and make it springtimes forward to winter for long whiles to maybes with salt skin and ocean reefs breath. I don't wanna go but I’ve been drawn back to some anatomical physical trend that I will live my rest (ofs) with. I don't need a bankroll any longer because in this moment u can fill that void with architecture of a minds daily picture. It’s a violation I so enjoi.

Enjoi.
Love,
Nor fear.
For now
Is Here.