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"emailed" poems
This is a tribute. A goodbye letter, whatever you wanna call it. A thank you, I guess. Thankyou for saving me. Thank you for keeping me. Thank you for watching over me and teaching me and preaching to me and thankyou, thankyou, thankyou for making me see that I was gifted with a life. This is for you. Everything I do, everything I write, everything I say, is for you. One month ago tomorrow, you died. One month ago tomorrow, I checked my email expecting to find some spam mail and a few notifications about something I didn't really care about, maybe even a reply from that person I emailed a while ago. One month ago tomorrow, I checked my email and found an email from your mom saying that you were so sorry, so so sorry, but that you had passed. One month ago tomorrow, I collapsed on the floor and mourned for the loss of my best friend, my soul mate. One month ago the day after tomorrow, I walked into school and I kept my cool but I saw you there in front of me. I could put you there and I could see you and I could hear you and you haunted me and my friends all said "You're different." That day, I had an anxiety attack and went home because I COULDN'T handle it. Tomorrow, I will walk into school and I will keep my cool but inside I will be dying and sobbing and weeping and mourning for the loss of you. Tomorrow, I will sit in the same place I did one month ago the day after tomorrow and stare into nothing and see you and hear you and smell you and my friends will say "you're different". Tomorrow, I might have an anxiety attack. I might go home but I will try not to. I CAN handle it. When we first met, you told me your worst fear was that you were afraid to die. 3 months ago, you slit your wrists and by the time you realised what you were doing and sane enough to stop you tried to save yourself. You succeeded. You got better. 1 month ago tomorrow, you died of natural causes. We were supposed to become psychologists together and go to New York and study at the same university and open a private practice, where did that end up at? Goodbye, and thank you, and I'm sorry I didn't say I love you enough, and I'm sorry I didn't take more pictures, and I'm sorry I didn't say what I wanted to say, and I'm sorry we fought, and I'm sorry we wasted so much time planning for a tomorrow we were never going to have.
0
Mar 23, 2013
Mar 23, 2013 at 3:32 AM UTC
One Month Ago Tomorrow
This is a tribute. A goodbye letter, whatever you wanna call it. A thank you, I guess. Thankyou for saving me. Thank you for keeping me. Thank you for watching over me and teaching me and preaching to me and thankyou, thankyou, thankyou for making me see that I was gifted with a life. This is for you. Everything I do, everything I write, everything I say, is for you. One month ago tomorrow, you died. One month ago tomorrow, I checked my email expecting to find some spam mail and a few notifications about something I didn't really care about, maybe even a reply from that person I emailed a while ago. One month ago tomorrow, I checked my email and found an email from your mom saying that you were so sorry, so so sorry, but that you had passed. One month ago tomorrow, I collapsed on the floor and mourned for the loss of my best friend, my soul mate. One month ago the day after tomorrow, I walked into school and I kept my cool but I saw you there in front of me. I could put you there and I could see you and I could hear you and you haunted me and my friends all said "You're different." That day, I had an anxiety attack and went home because I COULDN'T handle it. Tomorrow, I will walk into school and I will keep my cool but inside I will be dying and sobbing and weeping and mourning for the loss of you. Tomorrow, I will sit in the same place I did one month ago the day after tomorrow and stare into nothing and see you and hear you and smell you and my friends will say "you're different". Tomorrow, I might have an anxiety attack. I might go home but I will try not to. I CAN handle it. When we first met, you told me your worst fear was that you were afraid to die. 3 months ago, you slit your wrists and by the time you realised what you were doing and sane enough to stop you tried to save yourself. You succeeded. You got better. 1 month ago tomorrow, you died of natural causes. We were supposed to become psychologists together and go to New York and study at the same university and open a private practice, where did that end up at? Goodbye, and thank you, and I'm sorry I didn't say I love you enough, and I'm sorry I didn't take more pictures, and I'm sorry I didn't say what I wanted to say, and I'm sorry we fought, and I'm sorry we wasted so much time planning for a tomorrow we were never going to have.
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17
When you turn a blind eye I know you still see it just means its ok what he's doing to me You think of yourself and what you have to lose every time he comes home stinking of ***** Turning your back gives the ok to do whatever to me so he don't do it to you I hope that its worth it all the **** that you'd lose to you let me your son become bruised and abused You dont hear the screams or the cries in the night or the slaps and the punches when I put up a fight But don't worry about me cos I died long ago just forgot to lie down so that no one would know There's nowhere I can run and nowhere I can hide When folks tried to help you just stood there and lied Well lie about this when this poem gets read the truth will come out they'll know why I'm dead They'll know that you knew and you turned a blind eye right up to the day I decided to die For the longest time now I've been dead inside well enough of this **** I got nothing to hide I was only a kid that was destined to lose so his ***** of a mom got her smokes and her ***** And her **** of a boyfriend that twisted old **** got his pleasure from kids or as he called me her "runt" You should know when you read this fore the razor bit down that I emailed this poem to the papers in town I hope that you find me and it fills you with pride try and turn a blind eye now you've nowhere to hide
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Sep 27, 2010
Sep 27, 2010 at 4:03 PM UTC
Turn a blind eye
Sitting in my trailer Sleeveless shirt and cut off jeans Chasing each tall ***** With some Jack and shots of Beam Struggling with my issues In the past and from today Sitting in my trailer Drinking my tomorrows all away Another day of heartbreak I got dumped, what the hell There was not even a phone call It was by electronic mail Bits and bytes of rejection flying through electronic space Just to tell me "I don't love you" I got emailed in the face Sitting in my trailer Sleeveless shirt and cut off jeans Chasing each tall ***** With some Jack and shots of Beam Struggling with my issues In the past and from today Sitting in my trailer Drinking my tomorrows all away A week ago I was fired Went to work like every day found the door locked and all boarded He ******* off with all my pay No notice, and no phone call Just a sign upon the door A cardboard notice of rejection Saying "you don't work here no more" Sitting in my trailer Sleeveless shirt and cut off jeans Chasing each tall ***** With some Jack and shots of Beam Struggling with my issues In the past and from today Sitting in my trailer Drinking my tomorrows all away My dog ran off last weekend Left the house and ain't come back He ran off with that pack of dogs And he ain't coming back I bought him as a puppy Now he's left and he's long gone But he left a pile of rejection On the corner of my lawn Sitting in my trailer Sleeveless shirt and cut off jeans Chasing each tall ***** With some Jack and shots of Beam Struggling with my issues In the past and from today Sitting in my trailer Drinking my tomorrows all away My tomorrow's may be better But then again, I'm not so sure I've got the blues from this rejection And I don't think there's a cure so I sit here in my trailer Drinking the same thing every day Sitting in my ripped t-shirt Drinking all my tomorrows away
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Sep 28, 2012
Sep 28, 2012 at 8:22 PM UTC
Drinking my Tomorrows away
Sitting in my trailer Sleeveless shirt and cut off jeans Chasing each tall ***** With some Jack and shots of Beam Struggling with my issues In the past and from today Sitting in my trailer Drinking my tomorrows all away Another day of heartbreak I got dumped, what the hell There was not even a phone call It was by electronic mail Bits and bytes of rejection flying through electronic space Just to tell me "I don't love you" I got emailed in the face Sitting in my trailer Sleeveless shirt and cut off jeans Chasing each tall ***** With some Jack and shots of Beam Struggling with my issues In the past and from today Sitting in my trailer Drinking my tomorrows all away A week ago I was fired Went to work like every day found the door locked and all boarded He ******* off with all my pay No notice, and no phone call Just a sign upon the door A cardboard notice of rejection Saying "you don't work here no more" Sitting in my trailer Sleeveless shirt and cut off jeans Chasing each tall ***** With some Jack and shots of Beam Struggling with my issues In the past and from today Sitting in my trailer Drinking my tomorrows all away My dog ran off last weekend Left the house and ain't come back He ran off with that pack of dogs And he ain't coming back I bought him as a puppy Now he's left and he's long gone But he left a pile of rejection On the corner of my lawn Sitting in my trailer Sleeveless shirt and cut off jeans Chasing each tall ***** With some Jack and shots of Beam Struggling with my issues In the past and from today Sitting in my trailer Drinking my tomorrows all away My tomorrow's may be better But then again, I'm not so sure I've got the blues from this rejection And I don't think there's a cure so I sit here in my trailer Drinking the same thing every day Sitting in my ripped t-shirt Drinking all my tomorrows away
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64
The old fishing boat shiny, worn yet proud Had many an old fish bone scraped across its deck Heard stories that would make your hair curl and had seen weather at its worst but what the heck. Had seen all the fish available from all the seas nothing would surprise this old girl anymore. Had the strength to carry on whatever the gale Grin and bear it or go as you have gone before. Its engine, had seen some time in its old life struggling through seas as high as waves could get Through ice as thick as an island so as to speak and the new fishing boats wince if they get wet. They would not last five seconds in conditions like my fishermen have served thought the boat Well if it could think that is what it would think They look delicate and I dare say they would float. But now the old fishing boat was being admired stroked lovingly by tourists with cameras and tales. Ice cream accidentally smeared on the deck With its worn polished look and ragged sails. But it was proud, and so it should be For the fish it has fed folk, fishermen it had sailed But now it had a place in tourist's heart, the town It was admired, photographed and now emailed. A buyer with plenty of money and hope in his heart had bargained and won his bid. It was now his dream to sail the boat with children on board and parents sightseeing on board complete with a holiday team Dressed in navy and white striped with straw hat No fishing lines, nets, poles just an orange float. With a sign that indicated the price of the trip A retirement, a nice little trip for the fishing boat.
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May 9, 2015
May 9, 2015 at 12:42 AM UTC
The Old Fishing Boat
The old fishing boat shiny, worn yet proud Had many an old fish bone scraped across its deck Heard stories that would make your hair curl and had seen weather at its worst but what the heck. Had seen all the fish available from all the seas nothing would surprise this old girl anymore. Had the strength to carry on whatever the gale Grin and bear it or go as you have gone before. Its engine, had seen some time in its old life struggling through seas as high as waves could get Through ice as thick as an island so as to speak and the new fishing boats wince if they get wet. They would not last five seconds in conditions like my fishermen have served thought the boat Well if it could think that is what it would think They look delicate and I dare say they would float. But now the old fishing boat was being admired stroked lovingly by tourists with cameras and tales. Ice cream accidentally smeared on the deck With its worn polished look and ragged sails. But it was proud, and so it should be For the fish it has fed folk, fishermen it had sailed But now it had a place in tourist's heart, the town It was admired, photographed and now emailed. A buyer with plenty of money and hope in his heart had bargained and won his bid. It was now his dream to sail the boat with children on board and parents sightseeing on board complete with a holiday team Dressed in navy and white striped with straw hat No fishing lines, nets, poles just an orange float. With a sign that indicated the price of the trip A retirement, a nice little trip for the fishing boat.
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32
The essential inconsequential Texted, tweeted and emailed Tumblred and Facebooked Of each embarrassing moment. Hollywood star marital atonements, Selfie in the bathroom, Selfie in the bar, Selfie in the shower, Selfie in the car, The intrinsic need, To document each Major or minor event, Led many to the public noose For what they had let loose. They are tried in the press And and found wanting. Wanting more! and wanting more! Only to satisfy ourselves, that we are Hash Tag Selfie Me Truly the center of the universe ....................................JMF 10/5/14
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Oct 5, 2014
Oct 5, 2014 at 2:09 AM UTC
The Essential Inconsequential...a.k.a.Selfie
It feels so wrong to think of you But even after all these years We're still dancing in my dreams I dont think I ever told you But from that time I emailed you I still thought we were meant to be Writing usually feels easy But with this I am terrified I'm afraid you'll think I'm crazy I don't want to bring you pain I don't want to be so selfish But these memories can drive me mad I read something you wrote before From that last time we hungout When you thought I didn't care I was distant because I was scared It'd been years and I still loved you I hurt you, and I loved you I never told you it back then Because I felt I'd hurt you more I'd done enough, without making it worse I know it's a silly thing Since we don't know each other now But I want to Back then I thought our story wasn't over That we'd connect again once we were older But now I live across the country And I'm too afraid to say hello
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Aug 26, 2022
Aug 26, 2022 at 9:59 PM UTC
Bittersweet Anxiety Dreams
I called you in search of a lightbulb. After three months of no contact, and my feelings remaining unchanged, I expected the worst. But, it actually was for the best. You never called me back. No, instead you emailed me: a cold, impersonal note giving me only the required information, giving me only a hint of what was. Not particularly romantic but quite realistic. You’ve moved on. Maybe I should, too.
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Feb 20, 2012
Feb 20, 2012 at 12:05 AM UTC
Lightbulb
I’ve got a lock and key, what you got? You got a door, a shrapnel embedded cupboard Curiously covered up that there is, do you want go out? No I got a boyfriend, but I do have a few contraceptives Or I could show you my funny parts and we could plateau on the platonic Abstinence is on par with networking Oh shipwrecks of relationships, your waters never looked safe, your shoreline so rocky, but your sail, if you see what I’m saying. ******* that wind a high-inducing pitch of a stank You took me to the foreign lands and never brought me back, a souvenir got emailed. Which I have just picked up, it’s actually rather beautiful, especially if we picked it out together It is a bullet and that is rather cliché in the expectable in this sense of the world, but the copper lining is exquisite, insert random bit about consumerism Then spin a bit around voyeurism, then mention the outcome of the movies, the moving bits. The back & forth where it all starts But like I said, you want a contraceptive? Or maybe just a sock? How about a **** addiction? This really isn’t a discussion we should be having, I don’t like arguing about these things and I’m a transvestite and rather think they don’t apply See the bit you said was babies and the bit I said was from the bible Jesus and Black Moses, walking down the street Preaching for the freaks Then the bit you said was more like, I don’t know what I’m saying, I mumble and moan And think about *** and college and loans and the bit that really stuck out was “Babies, they really just freak me out.”
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Nov 20, 2011
Nov 20, 2011 at 11:11 PM UTC
Child
I’ve got a lock and key, what you got? You got a door, a shrapnel embedded cupboard Curiously covered up that there is, do you want go out? No I got a boyfriend, but I do have a few contraceptives Or I could show you my funny parts and we could plateau on the platonic Abstinence is on par with networking Oh shipwrecks of relationships, your waters never looked safe, your shoreline so rocky, but your sail, if you see what I’m saying. ******* that wind a high-inducing pitch of a stank You took me to the foreign lands and never brought me back, a souvenir got emailed. Which I have just picked up, it’s actually rather beautiful, especially if we picked it out together It is a bullet and that is rather cliché in the expectable in this sense of the world, but the copper lining is exquisite, insert random bit about consumerism Then spin a bit around voyeurism, then mention the outcome of the movies, the moving bits. The back & forth where it all starts But like I said, you want a contraceptive? Or maybe just a sock? How about a **** addiction? This really isn’t a discussion we should be having, I don’t like arguing about these things and I’m a transvestite and rather think they don’t apply See the bit you said was babies and the bit I said was from the bible Jesus and Black Moses, walking down the street Preaching for the freaks Then the bit you said was more like, I don’t know what I’m saying, I mumble and moan And think about *** and college and loans and the bit that really stuck out was “Babies, they really just freak me out.”
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25
The Pill Called up big Pharma, Sad and depressed, I told them straight out: Dudes, I need a new karma. *NO problem they cheerfully replied, (later I wondered, which pill they were on) We custom make, haute couture, drug-design, Mood enhancers, in little canisters, You need only supply the cash and the system vascular! Your soul's desire? To be a better wilder, rambler, Or a life calmer, better anchored?* I know what I want, exactly, A pill that removes Specific words From the frontal lobe temple Verbal storage center. *NO problem! (so cheery it was kinda scary) Which words would you like to have Exorcised, annihilated, irradiated, confiscated?* I list from below, from side to side, Let not one be denied, Bury them all in nether-lands, Swamp them under mountains of Granite and sand, Banish them from my lexicon. How much do you charge? But one dollar per word. The list I emailed complete, Herein I reprint. Scars Pain Wound Strain Torture Anguish Disfigure Damage Mar Mutilate Maim Blemish Deface Damage Ruin Distress Afflict Trouble Wound Torment Agonize Sad Suffer Sting Throb Torture Torment Despair Suffer Distress Hurt Vex Trouble Ache Hurt Misery Woe Bitterness Misery Agony Bitter Heartache Afflict Hurt Cut Loathing Shatter Broken Alone Bleed Struggle Self-destruct Monster Nightmare Cornered Darkness Horror Loner Confused Goodbye Suicide Slash Cut Desolate Submerge Dissipate Dead Stinking Enough. Awaiting my concoction sweet, When an answer they begat, A response forthcoming, indeed was snubbing! **Dear Sir/Madam, We regret to inform you that we are unable to manufacture Said item.  Removal of these words would be a violation of Federal Poetry Laws. Sadly yours, Big Pharma P.S. Are you the author of "Yo! Yo! Warning: the government is reading your poetry! (Metadata Mining This Site) on HP?"** P.P.S.  Please do not contact us anymore.
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Jul 16, 2013
Jul 16, 2013 at 1:53 PM UTC
The Pill
The Pill Called up big Pharma, Sad and depressed, I told them straight out: Dudes, I need a new karma. *NO problem they cheerfully replied, (later I wondered, which pill they were on) We custom make, haute couture, drug-design, Mood enhancers, in little canisters, You need only supply the cash and the system vascular! Your soul's desire? To be a better wilder, rambler, Or a life calmer, better anchored?* I know what I want, exactly, A pill that removes Specific words From the frontal lobe temple Verbal storage center. *NO problem! (so cheery it was kinda scary) Which words would you like to have Exorcised, annihilated, irradiated, confiscated?* I list from below, from side to side, Let not one be denied, Bury them all in nether-lands, Swamp them under mountains of Granite and sand, Banish them from my lexicon. How much do you charge? But one dollar per word. The list I emailed complete, Herein I reprint. Scars Pain Wound Strain Torture Anguish Disfigure Damage Mar Mutilate Maim Blemish Deface Damage Ruin Distress Afflict Trouble Wound Torment Agonize Sad Suffer Sting Throb Torture Torment Despair Suffer Distress Hurt Vex Trouble Ache Hurt Misery Woe Bitterness Misery Agony Bitter Heartache Afflict Hurt Cut Loathing Shatter Broken Alone Bleed Struggle Self-destruct Monster Nightmare Cornered Darkness Horror Loner Confused Goodbye Suicide Slash Cut Desolate Submerge Dissipate Dead Stinking Enough. Awaiting my concoction sweet, When an answer they begat, A response forthcoming, indeed was snubbing! **Dear Sir/Madam, We regret to inform you that we are unable to manufacture Said item.  Removal of these words would be a violation of Federal Poetry Laws. Sadly yours, Big Pharma P.S. Are you the author of "Yo! Yo! Warning: the government is reading your poetry! (Metadata Mining This Site) on HP?"** P.P.S.  Please do not contact us anymore.
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54
My creative writing teacher from last semester just emailed me. I am the 2013 recipient of the James Haba Award for Excellence in Poetry. And 6 of my poems are going to be published in the Mid Rivers Review! I am so excited!! Thank you all so much for your support and your constructive criticism.
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Jul 10, 2013
Jul 10, 2013 at 12:16 PM UTC
Exciting News!!
Thank you for the wish-you-were-here photo that you emailed today, so soft, beautiful, and peaceful, your fairyland winter, a reminder to entreat you "please, please keep it there!"
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Feb 6, 2011
Feb 6, 2011 at 8:30 PM UTC
Fairyland winter
what do you say in a traditional wedding toast? I’m not a traditionalist I’m a poet I’m not too good at structured, sentimental texts i speak in chopped verses so here’s my non-traditional, non-structured, sentimental wedding toast in verse my memories flash and fade quickly like lights flicker on and off i'm toddling around the house right behind you where are you going? can i come too? i'm barefoot in the driveway washing your car you took pictures, no doubt laughing at the streaks we left on the windows because, shortness i'm sitting on the bus rifling through your purse like the nosy little kid I am you're chaperoning one of my school field trips one of the aids asks if you're my mother you chuckle and say "nope, i'm her sister" i roll my eyes because isn't it obvious we're sisters? okay, it wasn't obvious we're sisters i'm bouncing down the hallway to your room stopping suddenly at the sight of packing boxes college you're leaving me "we'll be okay" you said i believed you even though i could have sworn i was losing my sister to the big city for good we wrote letters we skyped we emailed and i called you so many times we were okay fifth grade, you bring a guy home but not just any guy i think we all knew this one was different i saw it in your eyes i was only 11 but i knew what love looked like b, you always told me i was the wind beneath your wings you can't break the bond of sisterhood you just can't but maybe the bonds will loosen i thank you for the memories they were fantastic and i'm looking forward to seeing what the future has in store for us i'm thinking babies would be nice In time... so my dear sister, tell me how married life is i hope this night was everything you always dreamed of nick, you've got to be the happiest guy in the world right now i'm only 16 but i know what love looks like it looks like his gaze on her glowing beauty it looks like a promise of forevers proclaimed in front of loved ones it looks like my sister finding her other half and my brother in law finding his. -rgp
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Sep 20, 2014
Sep 20, 2014 at 7:26 PM UTC
an unorthadox wedding toast
what do you say in a traditional wedding toast? I’m not a traditionalist I’m a poet I’m not too good at structured, sentimental texts i speak in chopped verses so here’s my non-traditional, non-structured, sentimental wedding toast in verse my memories flash and fade quickly like lights flicker on and off i'm toddling around the house right behind you where are you going? can i come too? i'm barefoot in the driveway washing your car you took pictures, no doubt laughing at the streaks we left on the windows because, shortness i'm sitting on the bus rifling through your purse like the nosy little kid I am you're chaperoning one of my school field trips one of the aids asks if you're my mother you chuckle and say "nope, i'm her sister" i roll my eyes because isn't it obvious we're sisters? okay, it wasn't obvious we're sisters i'm bouncing down the hallway to your room stopping suddenly at the sight of packing boxes college you're leaving me "we'll be okay" you said i believed you even though i could have sworn i was losing my sister to the big city for good we wrote letters we skyped we emailed and i called you so many times we were okay fifth grade, you bring a guy home but not just any guy i think we all knew this one was different i saw it in your eyes i was only 11 but i knew what love looked like b, you always told me i was the wind beneath your wings you can't break the bond of sisterhood you just can't but maybe the bonds will loosen i thank you for the memories they were fantastic and i'm looking forward to seeing what the future has in store for us i'm thinking babies would be nice In time... so my dear sister, tell me how married life is i hope this night was everything you always dreamed of nick, you've got to be the happiest guy in the world right now i'm only 16 but i know what love looks like it looks like his gaze on her glowing beauty it looks like a promise of forevers proclaimed in front of loved ones it looks like my sister finding her other half and my brother in law finding his. -rgp
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60
Really Rick (r, top hat, woody, james)...? I just love how you blocked me but you keep coming to comment on my poems... The thing about it is you think I can't see the comment that you write, but you thought wrong. **Hint hint: I can login out & see the comments and I get emailed anytime someone comments on my poems** .............. **R said, '' Woof, don't send your teenage minions to fight your battles if they can't handle a blunt response to their contact with me. It is kind of weird that a 65 year old delusional man has a 16 year old girl doing his ***** work''** ..... First off wolf aint my daddy, but if you would like to meet my daddy then I would be more than happy to introduce y'all.  ;D I'm not doing wolfs ***** work. I suggested something to you regarding wolf... You came back and attacked me. I guess you thought I was playing when I said ''come at me again & we gonna have some problems'' Ranger Rick you live where... in North Carolina right? ......
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Jan 6, 2016
Jan 6, 2016 at 9:54 PM UTC
Really...?!! part 2
When I left, we promised to stay in touch. I remember for months we’d send emails every day, keeping as close as possible. On our birthdays we’d post photos of us smiling for all the world to see. “One of my closest friends” the caption would say. “I miss you so much” my comment would be. I seem to have skipped years between then and now, because I  lay awake wondering how we’ve grown so distant. The last time I emailed you was two years ago, for Christmas. I told you I would call later. I never did. I think your birthday was last week. I wouldn’t have known if not for my phone showing me a photo of us at a pool, “seven years ago”, holding plates of cake. At some point I stopped wishing you a happy birthday, but I can’t remember when. At some point you stopped telling me your plans for the holidays. At some point I stopped thinking about you every day. Sometimes I can go months without missing you. I hate it.
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Mar 17, 2021
Mar 17, 2021 at 3:08 AM UTC
Half-Forgotten Childhood Friends
Fidelity vows were broken, Stolen moments kept disclosed thinking no one would get hurt, No one would ever know, calling out to her as you lay sleeping in my bed-Day dreaming of her in my home! Words said to a would be Mistress's. "I Love You more than You'll ever know" Whats left for me then huh? these scars this un-mended pain? how can this broken heart mend? You didn't or wasn't really willing to try to identify or understand me or this pain you caused inside. Your insecurity from you misdeed got you trying to turn it all around, Pointing fingers & blaming me when you know & knew I did nothing wrong. Check out your own history & your present behavior, You had me thinking I was insane. You & I been betrayed in the past But I believed you, When you said this we shared was different, you never hurt me like that way. I'm more than qualified to help you through anything Been all that you wanted,needed, But not this, not when you lied then tried to hide, Covered up like national security. I admit we had unresolved issues, nothing we couldn't have worked through, You could of been honest, confronted me. Talked & worked on us. You tried so hard to justify your lies, try to make excuse, Reasoning your deceit dictate & make it my fault... Chemistry between us was beyond anything I've had before, You let your greed destroy us. It's like you spiritual dumped hydrochloric acid on me, my love for you & my feelings. I never once controlled you, never tried to use or ever tired to manipulate you, As you emailed text talked & wrote, You insulted our relationship, my trust and love for you. Broke your vows, Your promises went astray. my love for you was almost equivalent of the love I had for my children, my daddy & grandparents. There wasn't nothing I wouldn't of done for you. It's to late to apologize, to late for forgiveness, I told you Begged you to come clean, over & over I said baby let's talk, YOU had your chances- You refused and now I refuse to ever be with you after all this. Never Ever Again! Always Me Ayeshah
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Feb 6, 2010
Feb 6, 2010 at 3:33 PM UTC
Never Ever Again!
Fidelity vows were broken, Stolen moments kept disclosed thinking no one would get hurt, No one would ever know, calling out to her as you lay sleeping in my bed-Day dreaming of her in my home! Words said to a would be Mistress's. "I Love You more than You'll ever know" Whats left for me then huh? these scars this un-mended pain? how can this broken heart mend? You didn't or wasn't really willing to try to identify or understand me or this pain you caused inside. Your insecurity from you misdeed got you trying to turn it all around, Pointing fingers & blaming me when you know & knew I did nothing wrong. Check out your own history & your present behavior, You had me thinking I was insane. You & I been betrayed in the past But I believed you, When you said this we shared was different, you never hurt me like that way. I'm more than qualified to help you through anything Been all that you wanted,needed, But not this, not when you lied then tried to hide, Covered up like national security. I admit we had unresolved issues, nothing we couldn't have worked through, You could of been honest, confronted me. Talked & worked on us. You tried so hard to justify your lies, try to make excuse, Reasoning your deceit dictate & make it my fault... Chemistry between us was beyond anything I've had before, You let your greed destroy us. It's like you spiritual dumped hydrochloric acid on me, my love for you & my feelings. I never once controlled you, never tried to use or ever tired to manipulate you, As you emailed text talked & wrote, You insulted our relationship, my trust and love for you. Broke your vows, Your promises went astray. my love for you was almost equivalent of the love I had for my children, my daddy & grandparents. There wasn't nothing I wouldn't of done for you. It's to late to apologize, to late for forgiveness, I told you Begged you to come clean, over & over I said baby let's talk, YOU had your chances- You refused and now I refuse to ever be with you after all this. Never Ever Again! Always Me Ayeshah
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74
So, the world is laughing at me. again. It really likes to do that. Most of the jokes are about you, by the way. They are also emailed to me, by you. I think that you need me, you said you did. Then I realize the truth: I am a dumping ground. Sitting and waiting for you to come see me. Your words carry me, only to put me down. Why do you do that? It’s not nice. Yet I am still waiting, sitting. So the joke’s on me, Your dumping ground.
0
Mar 28, 2011
Mar 28, 2011 at 5:44 PM UTC
Dumping Jokes
Yes I hurt you Yes I broke your heart But I've been here since the end I let you call me breaking down Even though I was with my girlfriend Simply because no one else would listen And I ******* care about you Yes I emailed you first You chose to listen to others instead And told me to move on Two weeks pass And you reach out to me You want me back But I had my closure and started exploring new options Yes I'm polyamorous And it's been the best realization of my life But to you I'm just selfish I can't commit Just because I can't be your property anymore You even said you'd try it with me Then turned around and called it debauchery Yes I've made mistakes I'm only human And I'm growing every day I am becoming a better person But how can I keep moving forward With you constantly tearing apart my soul? Yes I say your words don't hurt But I ******* love you So they brand pain into my entire existence And keep hurting both myself And my beautiful new relationship Because I'm putting all my energy into you And yes I let it keep happening But not anymore I told your dad you tried to OD I may have saved your ******* life But all I did was ruin you right? I tore you down and broke your hopes and dreams? Tell me how, when I've been here the whole time I have been supporting you in Whatever you want to do with your life I've been validating your feelings and Trying to be there for you to talk Because no one else was listening But I'm just a piece of trash right? No I won't let you lead my life anymore No You don't get to steal my happiness No I will not let you hurt my relationship No I may have made mistakes but I'm not entirely bad No You do NOT get to take your anger out on me Not anymore I'm done I'm out Enjoy your life now Because I'm done being the reason you hate it You made your own choices And you don't get to take that out on me Not anymore I'm done.
0
Dec 20, 2017
Dec 20, 2017 at 3:39 AM UTC
I'm Out
Yes I hurt you Yes I broke your heart But I've been here since the end I let you call me breaking down Even though I was with my girlfriend Simply because no one else would listen And I ******* care about you Yes I emailed you first You chose to listen to others instead And told me to move on Two weeks pass And you reach out to me You want me back But I had my closure and started exploring new options Yes I'm polyamorous And it's been the best realization of my life But to you I'm just selfish I can't commit Just because I can't be your property anymore You even said you'd try it with me Then turned around and called it debauchery Yes I've made mistakes I'm only human And I'm growing every day I am becoming a better person But how can I keep moving forward With you constantly tearing apart my soul? Yes I say your words don't hurt But I ******* love you So they brand pain into my entire existence And keep hurting both myself And my beautiful new relationship Because I'm putting all my energy into you And yes I let it keep happening But not anymore I told your dad you tried to OD I may have saved your ******* life But all I did was ruin you right? I tore you down and broke your hopes and dreams? Tell me how, when I've been here the whole time I have been supporting you in Whatever you want to do with your life I've been validating your feelings and Trying to be there for you to talk Because no one else was listening But I'm just a piece of trash right? No I won't let you lead my life anymore No You don't get to steal my happiness No I will not let you hurt my relationship No I may have made mistakes but I'm not entirely bad No You do NOT get to take your anger out on me Not anymore I'm done I'm out Enjoy your life now Because I'm done being the reason you hate it You made your own choices And you don't get to take that out on me Not anymore I'm done.
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66
I was alone in the dead of night, my legs swinging over the side of my bed. I longed for love, the kind you write poems about. blink I was pushed down in the school corridor, and some boy I had never seen before helped me up. I didn't learn his name until later that day when I realised I had three classes with him. blink We held hands painfully tight, scared that if a sliver of air were to get in between us, we'd crumble into the sea. Scared that if anything interfered, our love wouldn't be so special anymore. Scared that if one of us stopped caring as much as the other, there'd be no use in saying sorry, because we're already done for; we're already specks in the dust. blink You haven't been around for a while, and I'm scared you've found somebody new. You wouldn't tell me if you did, would you? You never did trust me. blink I was emailed last night. You know what it was, don't you? An invitation to your wedding on the other side of town. I shook my head, and pressed the Delete button, just like you did to us.
0
Feb 12, 2015
Feb 12, 2015 at 7:01 PM UTC
In the Blink of an Eye
We took some time off work, to meet for lunch. A flight of stairs down from the sidewalk.  A basement coffee/book shop with ubiquitous old-Seattle esprit.  Our easy conversation passed hours like minutes. No, we met on the sidewalk. I thought it was you because you were standing, waiting, looking at your phone, wearing a (why are they all?) oversized firefighter's jacket.  A man in uniform. Actually, we met online.  I was curious, checking out the site.  Only one guy caught my interest and you emailed me first. But we've met before.  When I first saw your eyes, I recognized you from when we were infinite.  I saw the deepest, clearest water and peace, a glimpse of life in love and summer sun.
0
Dec 14, 2012
Dec 14, 2012 at 3:29 AM UTC
we've met before
It's a big sized classroom And I'm out of place I think a camera's like a microscope Once it's in my way I emailed my teacher 'Said I don't like my face I don't like my mind I just don't like myself these days I like to write in bed, It gets this anxiety off my chest Its only 11 in the morning And i'm tired and stressed I'm balancing, All my hopes and doubts And all my friends have worries too But they speak theirs out loud I'm not a baker, But a.. Decorator I like to decorate messy thoughts with fairy lights, rhymes and paper I'm not a counsellor But a.. Listener Oh could you listen to my new song whenever it'll suit ya... Well tell me something, what do you like to do? Where's your favourite spot, In this world where I favourite you In this lonely town, where i only want to be next to you Oh did this just turn into a love poem as i turned down 5th avenue.. I like train rides too, I'm overcoming my fear of that I used to worry i'd get lost But I always seem to get back on track. Follow my heart, follow the paths.. Follow the stars, as they spell your name in CAP'S.. Is this really a heartbreak, Or just a sharp paper cut? Sometimes the only way to get through to me is by ripping the bandaid right off You did nothing to hurt me I'm just a writer so paper cuts.. They happen often, But its not the blood that's the loss.. Are you in love?.. Wait, Should I really know? Well all I can do is go on Obliviously so.. Um, are you okay? I think that's the better question.. It's such a big sized classroom, Filled with such important lessons, Now.
0
Nov 21, 2015
Nov 21, 2015 at 3:51 AM UTC
Paper-cut
It's a big sized classroom And I'm out of place I think a camera's like a microscope Once it's in my way I emailed my teacher 'Said I don't like my face I don't like my mind I just don't like myself these days I like to write in bed, It gets this anxiety off my chest Its only 11 in the morning And i'm tired and stressed I'm balancing, All my hopes and doubts And all my friends have worries too But they speak theirs out loud I'm not a baker, But a.. Decorator I like to decorate messy thoughts with fairy lights, rhymes and paper I'm not a counsellor But a.. Listener Oh could you listen to my new song whenever it'll suit ya... Well tell me something, what do you like to do? Where's your favourite spot, In this world where I favourite you In this lonely town, where i only want to be next to you Oh did this just turn into a love poem as i turned down 5th avenue.. I like train rides too, I'm overcoming my fear of that I used to worry i'd get lost But I always seem to get back on track. Follow my heart, follow the paths.. Follow the stars, as they spell your name in CAP'S.. Is this really a heartbreak, Or just a sharp paper cut? Sometimes the only way to get through to me is by ripping the bandaid right off You did nothing to hurt me I'm just a writer so paper cuts.. They happen often, But its not the blood that's the loss.. Are you in love?.. Wait, Should I really know? Well all I can do is go on Obliviously so.. Um, are you okay? I think that's the better question.. It's such a big sized classroom, Filled with such important lessons, Now.
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49
it was almost two months ago my new job was going terribly i had two managers one was either a compulsive liar or losing her memory to dementia or early alzheimers the other one was a typical single, white, overweight woman who enjoyed flying into fits of rage and preaching about white privilege when she wasn’t giving angry lectures about how howard schulz’s wife had nannies to help her raise her children she didn’t like me so i just quit, with no notice other than an email saying i was resigning effective the time stamp of that email two weeks before i quit, i had the saddest dream about some guy i had a mental breakdown over ten years ago i haven’t talked to him since some sad emails in 2010, he never responded to my last email i’de been looking him up online lately but retrieving no matches because his name is so common and it’s been so long in my dream he texted me or emailed me magically, he had gotten my phone number or one of the email addresses i use now he wrote that he would be in my town and asked if we could meet i was really looking forward to it in the dream i was getting ready, hair, make-up, clothes i realized my dress had a ketchup stain on it towards the end of that part of the dream i don’t think my hair or makeup or face or body looked good i looked like i look ten years older and haven’t kept up or maintained anything not that i looked good ten years ago, but i look a lot worse now i sort of realized that when i saw the ketchup stain then it occured to me that he never responded when i either emailed or texted him back: “yes, yes, let’s meet again” there i was, excited, getting ready, vacuuming a car I haven’t driven in years i just wanted everything i wanted back i thought we were going to meet that weekend but then he emailed me saying no, he wouldn’t be in town until the 22nd march 22nd was on a wednesday this year so i would have just been working late and getting a bad review for anything i did i quit my job on tuesday, march 21st, after a hard day of doing nothing since then, i’ve drank a lot of wine, gotten ****** and smoked cigarettes. i also found his mom’s facebook page and his. his is set to mostly private, but his mom had posted some recent pictures of him and his girlfriend he looked weak and unhappy in the eyes.
0
May 8, 2017
May 8, 2017 at 7:27 AM UTC
his mom's facebook page
it was almost two months ago my new job was going terribly i had two managers one was either a compulsive liar or losing her memory to dementia or early alzheimers the other one was a typical single, white, overweight woman who enjoyed flying into fits of rage and preaching about white privilege when she wasn’t giving angry lectures about how howard schulz’s wife had nannies to help her raise her children she didn’t like me so i just quit, with no notice other than an email saying i was resigning effective the time stamp of that email two weeks before i quit, i had the saddest dream about some guy i had a mental breakdown over ten years ago i haven’t talked to him since some sad emails in 2010, he never responded to my last email i’de been looking him up online lately but retrieving no matches because his name is so common and it’s been so long in my dream he texted me or emailed me magically, he had gotten my phone number or one of the email addresses i use now he wrote that he would be in my town and asked if we could meet i was really looking forward to it in the dream i was getting ready, hair, make-up, clothes i realized my dress had a ketchup stain on it towards the end of that part of the dream i don’t think my hair or makeup or face or body looked good i looked like i look ten years older and haven’t kept up or maintained anything not that i looked good ten years ago, but i look a lot worse now i sort of realized that when i saw the ketchup stain then it occured to me that he never responded when i either emailed or texted him back: “yes, yes, let’s meet again” there i was, excited, getting ready, vacuuming a car I haven’t driven in years i just wanted everything i wanted back i thought we were going to meet that weekend but then he emailed me saying no, he wouldn’t be in town until the 22nd march 22nd was on a wednesday this year so i would have just been working late and getting a bad review for anything i did i quit my job on tuesday, march 21st, after a hard day of doing nothing since then, i’ve drank a lot of wine, gotten ****** and smoked cigarettes. i also found his mom’s facebook page and his. his is set to mostly private, but his mom had posted some recent pictures of him and his girlfriend he looked weak and unhappy in the eyes.
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51
On the train Trevor couldn’t help but notice Miriam’s eyes, the perfect shade of green He didn’t have much time to make his move So he wrote on his card That she was the prettiest he’d ever seen After she got off, she looked him up He was a happening guy So she emailed him that he wasn’t the first To give her a card on the train But he was the one who made her smile the most So she explained They dated of course then came the day They had to take the train In the car, as they moved along, an a cappella group began to to sing “I Can’t Help Falling in Love with You,” the refrain Trevor then dropped to one knee Now she carries his name
0
Aug 10, 2019
Aug 10, 2019 at 1:50 PM UTC
On the Train
In a clearing, amongst the scran 'n frame of winter's naked trees that bow this way 'n that to the capricious wind, sits the screen house all closed in with its seasonal wrap, plastic sheeting translucent like an iced lake, but vertical and wavy when the breeze blows through here, but inside the sun gathers to collect itself in its own pleasure and asks the question, "Why is it so cold out there?" === * My best friend from Maine emailed me a photo of his screen house in winter that he built on his fifty acre property with a view of the coast 8 miles away.
0
Jan 30, 2011
Jan 30, 2011 at 6:35 AM UTC
The Screen House in Winter