"elaborated" poems
I went to church today
I don't know what I was trying to find
Hopes? Dreams? A figure to follow and some worthy morals?
I wanted advice, I wanted to feel alive
I left there with these words resonating in my head
"Homosexuality and suicide are abominable"
a short phrase that sums the fancy and elaborated speech of the preacher
Only the sinful suffer, and I guess that's why I am troubled.
I've thought of suicide jokingly and seductively
more times that I could possibly count
I have kissed girls and I am openly attracted to them
I am not afraid of saying it and with respect, showing it.
According to the bible;
Lesbians and gays was a punishment for not obeying God
Suicide is a way of controlling your faith
And the only one that has power over you is the Lord.
God gives you what he thinks you deserve
He knows you since before you where born
and because of that he is more responsible of yourself
than yourself itself.
Your brains are too small
how dare you to contradict the all powerful one with such disturbing thoughts?
He created all and everything, all and nothing
He knows what he is doing, and in no way you can try to question him
I felt more small and insignificant than ever,
How did a invisible figure matter more than my logical arguments?
Can't I decide what I want? Isn't it my body and my emotions the one in play?
There's other 8 billion people and you try to guilt trip me because I want to end it all?
Sinners will suffer only the prayer can save you, you can't save yourself, God will save you.
Isn't it better to try to put myself together? Wouldn't I be learning more with that experience?
Instead of repeating words of prayers, shouldn't It try to save myself or solve the problems?
How dare you to contradict the all powerful one with such disturbing thoughts!
If God chooses to give you what he believes is right
Then why am I the one in so much pain?
Why good things doesn't happen to good people and to the bad ones bad things?
Is it because the bad ones will always pray?
I went to church today
I tried to find support,
I wanted to confess
"Hey, I want to **** myself"
I thought that well...
If so many people could feel happy by worshiping
I didn't loose anything by trying
I instead ended up gaining: guilt, trouble, and a feeling that I will burn in hell
May 22, 2013
May 22, 2013 at 2:31 AM UTC
he always insisted
i needed something to believe in
yet he scoffed
attempted to laugh it off
when i promised that i built stonehenge
and the great pyramids
ground his teeth as i whispered
that the world found cuneiform by my hands
and he dropped me off
when i elaborated on the day
i walked away from babylon's tower
so
off he galloped forever
destined never to understand the factual weight of one's dreams
Jan 8, 2015
Jan 8, 2015 at 12:05 AM UTC
Mysterious creature, full of enigmata
You beautifully-made, holy and divine
The elaborated picture of the museum
You are a work of art!
You’re that fragile rose with thorns around
Sweet and soft and ready to attack
You’re that pretty flower people admire
Yet your power can bring everyone down!
Inside of you is the life-giving mechanism
You carry the future of the world
You’ve got the most marvelous body
That adds life to the life it’s got!
Your tears should be like diamonds
Very rare unless they’re of joy
Your being should be like a temple
Where people ask for blessings and pay respect!
You shall always be looked up
And appreciated for what you’ve got
Books and poems and movies shall be made
About you creature, you pave the way ahead!
Don’t you dare underestimate yourself!
The blaze that burns beneath your skin
The destructive power you lock inside
The fighting soul you try to hide!
Don’t you dare let them break you apart
Collect yourself the pieces, hold your head up high
You were, you are, you’ll always be
Worthy of love, respect and happiness!
Let no one define who you are
Let no one step on you as you leave your guard down
Let no one control that burning light
That shines through the darkest sites!
You’re a woman, do you hear me?
Praise that name and give it a meaning
Fight for what you believe, for those who you love
But never stop fighting for yourself above of all!
Love and respect and appreciate yourself
You’re stronger than you always seem to behave
And in the darkest times when you feel like giving up
Remember you’re a woman, capable of turning the world upside-down!
Aug 30, 2019
Aug 30, 2019 at 4:39 PM UTC
There are
7 different types
of love
elaborated by
the heart's
7 different
beats, decoding
7 different languages
that the mind
meddles with
Oct 23, 2017
Oct 23, 2017 at 4:00 AM UTC
Sunrise nearing its death,
the end of today
complementing the beauty of a pen stroke,
harsh scratching alleviating indelible ideas
showing selves in hues painting our last moments
allowing me to trace timelines
in the contoured caresses
of this silent instrument played
to blend melody with beginnings,
each progression scaling further along
the passing hours left settling
to minutes from now,
purpose elaborated in contrasting
blues and oranges and purples
composing the elegance of utility,
colors not enough to excise the excesses
of depicting days in dimensions,
of simplifying it to degrees of time.
Laying alongside this current
to shape clouds
and animate constellations,
my faux-corpse stares again into
the memory held in galaxies
only glimpsed at twilight.
Sharp cuts of consonants
and vowels' smoothed corners
try to rid me of
stream of conscious thinking loosed,
the inner struggle hoping for reprieve
from that constant combative nature
of inward disagreement
and dialectic digression
deflecting the question of
what if we'd only spoke
instead of being lost
to foreign type-faces designed by
some soul never to see
the dying day my way.
If only we'd spoke,
I would have had the chance
to stumble on a goodbye.
Rather we are left
to flourishes of unfamiliar weapons
sitting askew on these pages,
the balance shifted due to
us degrading to another's personality,
and writing out those lines
we couldn't come to say.
Nov 16, 2012
Nov 16, 2012 at 6:51 PM UTC
Let's say the world is magnificent
Elaborated, impressive, simply beautiful.
A world we dare to dream about
In which we dare to live.
So let's say it exists,
And that I live as you and me,
That the love we share in the future
We dare to share it in this world.
Let's say I'm not alone tonight,
And that I dedicate my life to them.
In this world I dared to have children
I dared to marry you.
Aug 2, 2016
Aug 2, 2016 at 4:57 PM UTC
Sometimes my mask slips.
You can catch me off guard
and shine light onto parts of my soul
that I thought only I could see.
You might expect the reaction to be groggy;
Dusty after so many years of being hidden.
But I take in that light like air - necessary,
staring straight into the possibility of a kindred spirit.
It happened once. And that tiny breathe of air,
so innocuous, sent me spinning and
started a hurricane. Part of you resonated with me.
Your truth had the exact same heat of mine.
The same forest wood feeding the flames.
Except you elaborated, and I realised that we
were entirely different wildflowers,
in the same bunch but mismatched from root to petal -
Just grown in the same decrepit soil.
It felt like you had comforted me by wrapping
a soft woolen blanket around my shoulders.
I am allergic to wool, and all it does is burn.
Darkness, again. Yet,
I remember you at times, Ky. When the world feels
so dry it seems nothing will grow,
I remember that you sprouted in the weeds, too.
Aug 2, 2017
Aug 2, 2017 at 10:32 PM UTC
I've become it......the feeling that has no feel.
No description of this feeling, the manual did not say.
The instructions aren't here, Ive checked it a million times.
Please don't let this be the moment where I wrecked it because I didn't expect this.
A word that relates to nothing that cannot be elaborated.
This does explain the jumbled mess of thoughts in my mind, thoughts filled with the death and Devine.
Everything is nothing and nothing is everything, no feeling, no reeling the mind.
Devoid of emotion from the subconscious.
Devoid of emotion, my heart does not feel you, can't stop this.
Devoid of emotion from a twisted mind that isn't thoughtless, I haven't got this.
Devoid of emotion, please God won't you just stop this?
I've forgot less that's not a mess **** it I digress into my mind deeper than lochness.
The screams that keep dreams flowing through streams like smooth cream into my coffee darkly beam.
Have I made sense to you yet of my emotion filled regret that hovers over my covers and spills from my mind?
Maybe I haven't gotten that far yet...
The eyes grow weary of a feelingless feeling, cascading how this happened through my mind, my ceiling.
The body has been here before, when a fall to my pillows is all I want in store.
Couldn't eat today though I never felt hunger, I tried but it just wouldn't stay and that's the most I've felt all day.
The day grew long but clearly I have no theory to what brought about a feel with no feeling.
Desensitized from my eyes.
Desensitized from my lies.
Desensitized in every sense of the word.
Desensitized, numb....
.......it's not what I deserve.....
Numb.
Mar 31, 2016
Mar 31, 2016 at 11:50 PM UTC
Setting his sights toward his future as each day goes by observing what's in front of him, as night fall the nostalgia of the twilight his reminiscing has become grim.
Desperately musing his heart ache elaborated thought running away, anxiety takes over heartbeat racing feeling rigid the poet mind aflutter knowing she doesn't play.
Lasting through the evening can't think straight confuse while pacing all night, his heart ache vanishes his cognitive behavior says it will be alright.
For her writting is this poets passion recollecting his once love his tears begins to form miniature lakes, attempting to penetrate her superbia her shielded heart won't break.
She's whom he gave his bleeding heart to is miserable and shrew, but the feelings aren't mutual only if she knew.
Needing her the most, the animosity flows through her veins, locating that perpetual love has gone in vain.
Purposing a toast, alcohol beverage she prognosticate his love, a constructive hoax.
Like pleasant day a cool breeze of the ocean wind, cold nor hot people going about hoping the day won't end. Struck with calamity a tsunami brings misery, not how, but when.
Chaotic, with frustration. Is it possible to lurer her back? Fishing for hours she ignores his bait, slapping it away. Even if you love someone set it free, it won't come back he was led astray.
Mistreated, highjacked of his kindness for weakness his fears are calm, no pain he simply removed it by wiping the tears with his palm.
Damage control dumping all they had in a black hole, a perplex situation a vexatious child the Hyde in her he hated her role.
A love crushed by her ferocious jealous and controlled demented mind, a poetic justice of her defined.
Apr 30, 2012
Apr 30, 2012 at 4:14 AM UTC
At the age of 10, I had a conversation with a woman.
I remember asking her what games her many children played.
Did they play as I play?
She told me they enjoyed roleplaying games, and I asked what she meant.
Dress up, she elaborated. Acting, make-believe, telling stories.
I remember telling her that I felt I had wasted my youth, my childhood, and this, as if I had forgotten I was 10.
There was a seriousness to my tone, stoic-like, and a mighty dignification must have kept that woman from chuckling.
That conversation was closer to half my life ago, and I still meet with that same unrelenting sadness every other morning and every other night.
I remember the half-dreaded birthdays that followed, the recent ones the worst.
And every year that passes merely confirms the suspicion that I’ll live with that yearn for the rest of my life regardless of what else happens.
Yearning and I. Whose to say we don’t have 10, 20, 30 more years together?
But it’s nothing to worry over in the end.
I’ve turned into a person who has high-highs and low-lows,
And I’ve found that the highs are worth going down under for every once in a while.
Feb 15, 2018
Feb 15, 2018 at 7:45 AM UTC
Perfectly Petrifying
Currently electrifying
Heightened senses
False pretenses
Muscles strained
Hopes constrained
Fears fully elaborated
All greatly exaggerated
Time slowly ticking by
Just want to die
Death's cold embrace
Pale drained face
Cold sweat streaming down my face
I've done things i can't erase
Breath heavy with regret
Things i can't forget
Dec 30, 2011
Dec 30, 2011 at 9:21 PM UTC
I stood there
In the dim lights of our den
A place once cherished
But now otherwise ignored
It had become his
Hiding place
His refuge for
When he wouldn’t speak
At those times
Like right now
I would stand there
Behind him
Delicately trailing random patterns
On his sweat-soaked tee’s back
He used to dress nicely
Plaid polos and such
But ever since she passed
He was rather shoddy in his appearance; sloppy
I could feel his body
Rise and fall
Each breath shorter and less healthy
Than the last
But I said nothing
Simply humming softly
Finally he lifted his head
His pale, pallid skull
Topped with slightly thinned
Reddish hair
It’d been so thick before
Before she passed
He turned slowly
To face me
His face was a sickly purple so unlike the warm peach
It’d been when she was alive
His lips were pale and chapped
Unlike their previous full pink
And they were shuddering violently
As he tried to speak
After another moment of silence
Eventually he did
If you’d just been
Quiet
He whispered
In a harsh, raspy voice
His now yellowed teeth that he once prided in deeply
Gleamed in the den’s faded light
If you had just
Kept your **** mouth shut
He elaborated
In a sour undertone
I felt my stomach sickening itself
But refused to show reaction to his words
If you had just been able to silence yourself for a ****** minute
She would not have died
I knew it was true
And so I did not try to stop him as he stood
He was gone within hours
To accompany her
To abandon me
The idiot that could not keep quiet
Thus now I am what you might call a
Mute
For silence is a friend
That never betrays
Jun 4, 2011
Jun 4, 2011 at 7:20 PM UTC
Even a dog can shake hands
as Warren elaborated so succinctly
not everyone is who they portend to be
just gain some wealth or notoriety
and you will very quickly see
now wealth isn't necessarily money
it could be simply your thought
stories for convincing so funny
thinking your mind can be bought
long lost mates from days gone past
who claim to be your friend
now a shadow you somewhat cast
caring souls appear and pretend
and whoa is me when it is time for your vote
good ole boy politicians doing handstands
now they have concern for everyone and their goat
remember even a dog can shake hands
Aug 31, 2011
Aug 31, 2011 at 7:54 AM UTC
...Judge me
not
by the hooded face of
hypocrisy beneath your
elaborated cross
Sinner is the soul and we
are no different
from the malice of logic
Blessed are those who see
a poor man in heaven
for they do not feel alone
in this crowded
city of gold
Stone me to death
only if
talking to the Devil is
a sin
Faith is a belief
founded not
on stagnant
waters...
Mar 5, 2013
Mar 5, 2013 at 10:40 AM UTC
...Elaborated kings
fill their bellies with gold
while their wives
dine with princes
giving the spoils to the jackals
behind the shadows of
their king's throne
They ignore the meek
nailed on the cross
crying for nothing but water
Nine inch nails
witness the blood spill
as wolves ravaged the harvest
of farmers who dine
with the blue moon
Greed
wanting more power
leaving the inferior hanging
in the gallows
of desolated
promises....
Feb 15, 2013
Feb 15, 2013 at 1:04 PM UTC
White washed wood
with a whistling rush of wind.
Where rounds of woodchuck beer
past the rustling of chips and laughter.
Empty bottles, elaborated clinks.
Even every inch of eager filled smiles
covers the thoughts of enamored hearts;
Entrusted with faults and sorry's to be accepted.
Are the ancient artifacts,
again the reason we think that trust is best?
A beer is best passed along with time.
Here's the drink, calm down please.
Resting in reverie,
is this really what we pretend it to be?
Requesting solace from a drink and company?
Ritually wrought instincts and partially rellished revelations.
You'd never understand if it wasn't for being young.
Yearning for years and solemnly sought
yells and whispers.
Please, I'm tired, hand me another beer.
Feb 5, 2013
Feb 5, 2013 at 8:41 PM UTC
Hinting the youngest rose
She wasn't that fascinating
She wasn't that spectacular
She wasn't anything special
Or so she thought
The grand flower path,
The elder roses elaborated
Where love isn't near hatred
Hope is far from disappointment
Tears verge away from pain
And sanity is distant from oppression
A place filled with whimsy
A place truly remarkable
A place where the rose and even lone stewartias can blossom eternally
Sep 21, 2018
Sep 21, 2018 at 6:44 AM UTC
Cult is not a religion that could
allow diversity of thoughts and belief.
It demands conformity and exerts control
over the thought of its subjects.
Any deviation is punished severely.
All dictatorships are harmful but religious dictatorship is the worst of all.
All political doctrines,
whether leftist or rightist,
once proven false, are abandoned,
but religious fallacies endure,
coz they're believed to be from God and therefore infallible.
" The heaven and earth can pass but the
word of God won't."
Rational people are willing to accept its
irrationality and philosophers
endevour to rationalize and legitimize them for intellectuals' consumption.
But lies are lies, no matter
how elaborated they're and how
long they have survived.
General acceptance of a lie, does not
make it truth, nor universal rejection of truth would eclipse it's
splendor....
Jul 4, 2016
Jul 4, 2016 at 4:36 AM UTC
The introduction to poetry class,
English 106
at Oregon State is alright.
I might have liked
one
or two
of the things we read,
but all in all
it was just another english class
which shyed away from anything
that broke traditional form,
and only elaborated the folly of existence:
a belief that
a subjective object
could be
an objective subject.
Oh well,
it was a good way
to waste away
for four summer weeks
in hour and 50 minute
incriments
while i waited
for my life to mean something.
So i guess that
over
all
i can't complain about it
because at least the class
and i
were both worthless
and we could share that
together.
Jul 25, 2010
Jul 25, 2010 at 8:28 PM UTC
Sun is a star, its very far..
its without a scar..
pure and fine, rocks and shines...
la lala la la llala...
Earth is a planet enchanted..
life on earth is guaranteed ...
people here r interacted..
things all go elaborated...
Hop and dine and sip the wine..
this is the time which is all mine!!!
Look at the moon up there..
people can see it from everywhere ..
up in the sky it shines so bright...
my eyes can see the light at night..
Its party time guys..swing and sing...
Skip a beat and shake your hip...
Chin high up, let the body spin..
Oh my pal .. let the fun begin...
Dance whole night..just don't decide...
hip and hop and do that twice...
Chill on the hill and feel the thrill..
there u r girl..show your skill...
Oh my god..its dawn again..
a fresh new morning is all we gain..
Sun is back..our shining star..
night was sweet like a chocolate bar..
Jun 18, 2014
Jun 18, 2014 at 5:21 AM UTC
*i’ll tell you all the blasphemies about jesus christ, having ****** out a prostitute’s **** and **** for ten quid extra on top of ten quid entry fee into the brothel and one hundred and ten’s worth for an hour - you can start by posing on or off the cross with the celebrities: idolatry in the flesh.*
my face isn’t that much of an **** ******** out a ****
so when i have a dream...
and dream of an egg cheese and ham sandwich
having fasted the previous day,
waking up on a salivated on pillow,
having posted a picture of my face
on an internet site where a few maidens read me
i get the impressionism in freudian theory:
my dreams can’t have that solipsistic dimension
of self-projection,
so i get up, drink two glasses of half water half milk,
have coffee, smoke a cigarette and think **** out,
all because, as we’re standing we’re all fruit flies
on a rotting apple, or just ***** flies in a web,
and the spider / rotting apple is centralised
by artificial intelligence, i.e. the intelligence that was
once a part of alan turning... so this crossover
connectivity of conscious thought and false self-projection
of the unconscious is simply elaborated
that the freudian interpretation of dreams has an
element of solipsism in it, which would ensure i could
project anything i wanted in my unconscious (which i have
no control over) and thus... upon wake... be unable
to imagine anything i wanted... which is not true...
since upon waking i can imagine anything i want,
but in the unconscious i can’t dream anything up...
which makes sense why paul mcCartney dreamt up
the song yesterday on the sly, without any conscious effort
other than the mechanical effort of having to note it down & record it.
Oct 14, 2015
Oct 14, 2015 at 6:32 AM UTC
BRUISED SPIRIT
In the darkness of a winters night
Dark Angel gives so much fright,
The pains and the shame and the calling of names,
I started to feel numb,
While my body is turning cold,
while I was left to die upon snow
the emptiness came over me,
but he calls bless,
Sadness filled my head, hold so much regrets,
I Wished he and I never had meet,
my life seems so dead,
I looked at him in so much pain
I could see so many things he brings in darken dreams,
How souls turn cold that bruised my spirit,
Oh, how this darken life,
has painted a pictured in my mind.
that elaborated deep emotions of sighing,
the ancient moon reflection stayed on my eyes,
while my body finally felt its physical pains
Dark Angel brings my way,
The ache, Oh, the repeated aches and pains
While my body was left upon snow,
While my mind shudders in so much grief of he,
Who haunts me in darken dreams,
Oh, how he cuts me deep,
My stomach is very knotted up,
While I feel so faintly,
I can no longer move my body,
I started getting flash backs of my attack,
Oh, how the pains broth me back to my painful past,
his voice I will never forget, his words
of cruelness cycles, around in my head.
while he made traps for me to fall hard in,
I see the moon reflections upon the sea,
Shining on high right into my eyes,
I must wonder, how long will I keep dreaming
and seeing the lubricated moon hang around in gloom.
Poetic Judy Emery © 2017
The Queen of Darken Dreams Poetic Lilly Emery
Feb 25, 2017
Feb 25, 2017 at 1:37 PM UTC
My palms
I'm inebriated
Infatuated
There is weight on my chest
I'm inundated
nauseated
someone please
tell me it's wrong
that we procreated this idea
that
elaborated emotions aren't okay
it's okay.
Nov 11, 2021
Nov 11, 2021 at 4:36 PM UTC
Side to side
His eyes were wandering.
"Are you fine?"
Came in my worried voice.
With piercing eyes,
Eyes I didn't understand
Of either hatred or wondering love
With eyes that pricked me, scotched me
Eyes that set my heart on the burning fire without smoke
With eyes that sent the burning heat in my tummy
He looked at me
Little did I know....
Diannie, look at me
At last he said.
It is over now.
With anger I blushed my eyes
To the other side.
Diannie! Look at me.
"Ooh! What a hell is this?"
Something ran into my mind.
I can't imagine losing him
Tears watered down my cheeks
At a speed more than
The running waters of river Nile
Take it leave it, look at him
What if you miss on it
Something elaborated in my heart
Gaining my skeletal courage,
And grabbing tears off my cheeks
I turned
Only to see... Hmmm?
Little did I know... .
Diannie, my love
Shall you marry me?
Numbness swept me off the earth.
I can't believe it though I couldn't wait it anymore
My heart exploded with love,
Joy, happiness and excitement
Do you really mean it?
I asked just because
Little did I know
That the communication in his eyes
Was not of sad news,breakup, desperation,disappointment, dismay
But rather...
Little did I know
That the eyes were communicating great news of
Joy, happiness, love and trust
Knowing that delay means denial
And denial might mean a breakup
My heart couldn't wait any longer
It applauded
In a shy soft and tender voice
"Yes my darling
Yes with all my everything
I trust in you."
Little did I know....
That bitterness can turn into sweetness
Little did I know
That such a bitter quarrel
Between us
Last evening
Would turn into
A sweet marriage proposal,
And now
Our hearts sing rhymes and rhythms of joy and happiness
Than never before.
Oct 30, 2018
Oct 30, 2018 at 7:22 PM UTC
i told you today that
that i love you but
i always tell you that
so i elaborated and
told you i love you
i mean i really love you
and you ask do you mean
more than a crush you want
a future? and i thought i had
******* up majorly so i said
like i see a future with you
like you aren't just a crush
and then you said you feel
the same way and that made
me smile and i felt my face
turn so red and it made
my day so amazing and
i couldn't get the smile
off my face all day and
well it's still on my face
and am excited to see
where life will take us
and hopefully it will be together
Apr 12, 2016
Apr 12, 2016 at 7:37 PM UTC