im not in any hurry to remarry and
i didnt mind being his wife
but i bet if she's half as insecure
possessive and
jealous as i have heard
it has got to burn her up inside.
in the beginning i was so hurt and
i would tell how my husband left me
for his step sister and
everyone would say eeew sick
but i know its not like they were raised together.  
he left me on mar 19 2012 and
i will never forget it
i got on my knees and
losing any pride and
dignity i had
i  BEGGED him to stay
but he brought his mommy with him
so i wouldnt make a scene
i asked him to at least smoke a cig with me and
he did and
i offered to give him a break
i told him the house would be spotless and
i would be whatever kind of wife he needed
but when he looked at me with sad eyes and
said please Lynda let me go,
i knew he had done enough time locked up and
i couldnt be another person to take away his freedom.  
then for 18 1/2 days i went to bed and
cried and
did not get out of bed to eat or *** or anything.
my world was turned upside down by him
FOR THE SECOND TIME
fool me once shame on you, fool me twice....lol
but the one thing i have known after the hurt left is that i truly want him to be happy.  
He gave me some of my all time best memories
but also gave me the worst times i had ever experienced.  
my whole family disowned me for taking him back
for almost 3 yrs,
they just now have taken me back into the family and
will speak to me.  
i will always love him,
he was the soulmate i literally spent my whole life looking for,
but it cost me a lot of heartache to be with him.  
i am not the same person as that girl he met in the bar
wearing daisy duke short shorts
pain changes people...and
i guess life is too short,
mom's die,
children go missing and
vanish with out a trace and
husbands come home in the middle of the day and
move out and
with out tell ya why and
you never see them again

Sammy wants to brush my
hair, but it's an excuse to eat
it. Hands surprisingly large for
his age, he leans fully into me, puts
his entire face into my hair, breathes deeply and takes it into his mouth. "Eeew," the other children squeal. "He's eating your hair! He's leaving slobbers!" I remind him not to eat
my hair.  "But it tastes so good!" he says as he takes in another mouthful. He eats only peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, cookies, Cheerios, and drinks milk or apple juice. His new friend, who goes to the same school
in the morning but is brought on a different bus to my house at noon, is more limited in his food choices. Brian only eats dry Cheerios and plain flour tortillas. I remind myself to buy a family size box of Cheerios the next time I go to the store. Brian always holds two rocks in his hands, doesn't speak, but does scream loud frequently. When I wash his hands, I wash the rocks lovingly before I give them back to him. Sammy stops running through the yard, tapping everything with the yellow Little Tykes hammer I've been meaning to throw away daily, long enough to put his
arm around Brian, says, "What's wrong, little buddy?" before he begins tapping wildly again with the hammer. He taps the 14 year old Persian cat, who looks more than irritated as he moves quickly through the yard. He taps my arm, heads in the direction of my car, I steer him in a different direction. His father arrives to pick him up, asks, "Did he have a good day?" I lie, say, "Yes!" Brian screams more loudly when he sees Sammy is leaving. I remind him he still has his rocks in his hands. I pick up the Little Tykes hammer, make my way around the yard tapping on everything, listening to the different sounds it makes, so new to my ears.