Diseased mind

Whatever happened to what was supposed to be that wonderful life of mine?.. From the failed relationships of hurting everyone around me,  to popping another bottle cap to **** my feelings in drowning. If I could explain that first sip it's like fire in my veins, but all the way to the never ending last is like venom to my brain. When I pick up that first drink I am no longer me rather just an altered perception of who I try to be . Volatile and violent with that S on my chest I wish they would try me . Out of this world out of this galaxy out of my mind such a preventable tragedy. That crazy act of picking up that first drink can be defined as simply only one thing... insanity. They say jails, institutions and death , well for me there is only one left. I have to make that admission along with the  decision to believe in and trust a power greater than me. For only he with my co operation can build a new foundation to ensure that my mother and kids don't bury me and to change towards my destiny so I could see what was meant for me. This is the confessions of a diseased mind literally fighting for my life as I write through these very lines. The decision is made the choice is mine, i choose life and I'm coming for what's mine. D.P.