i am certain that i am going to die young and no this isn't one of my cries for help or bargain-ed pleas, you all will-i-am certain- miss that years and years from now. i still have myselves in all of you, every ounce of me does not belong to me. i am in ownership of nothing but the curls of my eyelashes and the frame they allow me to recreate. this is simply my attempt at a lightly humored poem, but I am certain I am going to die young, very young almost too young to remember the day I was born and thus, first deceived and devirginized, even before my first steps on clay coated sand and became a constantly budding plant with razor bladed sides and a thirsty black vaping hole between my legs but Liberia ruined me with it's talk of this ******* thing called womanhood same as they brought me thought and thought again to salvation, i am certain i am going to die just like many thought i've never lived a single day in my life, I am certain,
I am certain, I am certain.
I am. i am. just not tonight

I immerse myself in literary marvels and self-loathed poems
Any brilliance found in my work ,
Is in the space between words and the gaps between the lines.
Silence is golden.
I survive by breaking the golden rule...

...I want to take you everywhere I've been.
To have you look through these eyes,
The filtered images through liquidized eyes
Accompanied by ghastly thoughts.
Come onto this roller coaster ride.
Battle my demons.
Try to win...

How long can i endure?
I've buried them so many times.
The zombies and ghosts travel in my shadows,
Lightly and ever so softly
Pushing nails into my brain.
Showing me picture shows of beautiful stories.
Stories of love and companionship,
And spirit crushing images of a slow dissipation of lives...

---- Welcome to my dementia ---

...The outer limits of a young boys mind
A ****** in a devirginized world.
Dancing on forbidden ideas.
Lusting for a sense of belonging and genuine companionship.
A world of electric monologues and synthetic laughter.
The well has dried up and i thirst,
I thirst for sincerity.

Pull the trigger and land the bullet
Into the mental membrane.
Punch a hole right through it.
Become the catalyst for a revolution.
Let the light in to melt the wax exterior.
To enable a freedom long since forgotten.

Let them breath...

Let them breed.

You use to want me unconditionally, purple & blue my body is now a temple of doom. Liquids flow through your veins 1,2 I'm a stranger to my own dance moves.
Unflowered you split open at the seem of my devirginized moans.
Your hands feel like soft clouds that soon turn to thunder & lighting, it's extremely frightening. I learned to live in terror everytime you spit in my face and pushed my head into mirrors. Not mad or glad I feel me forever and always kneeling to your every move.