"deserting" poems
Leaving this city of lights,
O you, who went away,
to a distant dream, a distant land,
deserting our world,
what a trend you have set!
Flowers still bloom here, you see,
and hues still settle at sunset,
but the heat of dread
burns the buds on every branch,
and shades of separation,
replace our sunset.
Abandoning our world, O you who left,
what a trend you have set!
Little lamps are lit here,
and the bazaars too buzz with life,
but in the emptiness of the heart,
exists a single thorn,
and with that a desire for your glimpse.
You lit a lamp of longing in us, O you who left,
what a trend you have set!
It's true, we have nothing to give,
no buds in bloom, no dreams,
and who has ever returned
from a garden to a wasteland?
Indifference is the need of this time, you see.
It's true that our world,
is nothing but an empty desert,
slowly each candle burns out,
and life is nothing but a favour on this body.
but still, this wish of loyalty,
awakens and misses you sometimes,
and whenever Autumn comes in this sorrow,
it kills this restless soul.
Oct 5, 2012
Oct 5, 2012 at 8:54 AM UTC
My happiness is only in distractions.
It's when I'm alone
that I realize the full extent of what that means.
Another's smile makes my own spring in unexpectedness,
pleasantly surprised that it wasn't practiced.
I should be on Broadway,
with how consistently I play this role.
Of someone who gets by, whose only worry
is when to sleep and wake to work.
But this isn't me at all.
I close my nights with eyes that see a life unfold
a span of sorrow in disappointing my world.
Family that will cry at what I've failed to do
in the name of doing what I'm afraid I'll fail to live.
I'm so scared to leave this world
with nothing more than the dates I stayed.
The thought of having nothing to offer
mocks me into deserting instead of believing.
I wish for the strength to go beyond my own doubts,
the force to believe with every bit of flesh
that I can give my soul to the world.
Nov 3, 2011
Nov 3, 2011 at 12:46 AM UTC
Comets or meteors?
Perhaps they're like rooks and crows
“Where there's a rook there's a crow
“Where there's crows there's rooks”
To be one amongst a shower, a storm of meteors
Hurtling through the emptiness of infinity
Protected by the confidence of knowing
That we and our equally frenzied fellow travellers
However far we hurl ourselves
Flashing by through all the vastness
Looking tiny and bright like a fireside's sparks
Consumed in a stampede, burning up and soon to be lost
Are in fact racing along a familiar orbit
That could last as long as a million years
Which all too soon will pull us back to where we've been
A familiar sight, overlooking what we've already seen
Or to be a lonely meteor
Deserting the pack, distracted by some new attraction
Sampling a novel atmosphere, hardly aware
Of the flames gathering round
Till the grip that was a comfort
That was such a pleasure to be caught by
Loses its interest or changes its intent
Returning the wanderer to the emptiness
Or turning a journey of exploration
Into a pitiful conflagration
With a final pathetic fall
Messy and destructive to all
That witness the meaningless call
Of that misguided journey's concluding bump
Well, I don't know if this is good science
And hope not to be subject to such violence
Shooting stars may enjoy applause from those below
But I'll see it all from here, and adore the moon's glow.
Aug 22, 2013
Aug 22, 2013 at 3:38 PM UTC
Running away from her feelings
Don't want no hurt
Don't want inspiration
They only subvert
Her poor fragile heart
She gives her all
Gets smithereens in return
Don't want no broken dreams
Don't want empty hopes
Don't want those sleepless nights
It's a periscope
Couldn't see it before
Now she knows
She's a shell of the old her
No signs of reverting
Built walls around her heart so high,
The heavens are confronting
It's comforting
This deserting
Feeling of the heart
No one's gonna break me
She says asserting
No one's gonna hurt me
Her lips reverberating
Eyes full of misery
Her loneliness shines through
Captivating silver eyes
Moist with morning dew
Or are those tears?
Taking a hue
Of molten silver
Or the dark stormy nights
They've witnessed all along
When they all eschewed
When they all ran away
Well, adieu
They don't deserve her anyway
Don't deserve her beautiful soul
Don't deserve her unconditional love
Or the compassion she holds
Her blinding bright smile
Or the twinkle of her eyes
The softness of her lips
She exists to mesmerize
So, adieu
Because she's a fighter
An igniter
Of the passion he holds
Adieu
He says thankyou
Because she's a queen
And all his to love
Oh if you only knew.
~S.L.
Jan 23, 2017
Jan 23, 2017 at 6:14 AM UTC
Poet of Nature, thou hast wept to know
That things depart which never may return:
Childhood and youth, friendship and love’s first glow,
Have fled like sweet dreams, leaving thee to mourn.
These common woes I feel. One loss is mine
Which thou too feel’st, yet I alone deplore.
Thou wert as a lone star, whose light did shine
On some frail bark in winter’s midnight roar:
Thou hast like to a rock-built refuge stood
Above the blind and battling multitude:
In honored poverty thy voice did weave
Songs consecrate to truth and liberty,—
Deserting these, thou leavest me to grieve,
Thus having been, that thou shouldst cease to be.
1.9k
Now that it’s over, or so you say,
I feel compelled to wait another day,
For you to cry, for you to miss me.
I have visions that you kiss me
And forget about how I hurt you
But even that aches; I still desert you,
On every single day.
You said you want me gone,
That all is lost and you’re alone.
Yet somewhere deep behind my shame,
I hear you whispering my name.
I tell you in absentia: “I never meant to hurt you.”
That I was deserting my old self and not you.
And yet I come back and you’re still gone.
Would it help if I said it was never about you?
Or does that hurt because it really was?
Would you understand that I didn’t yet deserve you?
Or does it feel too much like a stumbling pause
Between the beauty thing that was you and me
And the pull of a deserted house, a dangerous key?
I was sick and lost for so many years,
Drying my own sorrow with another’s tears.
The emptiness I felt inside was hidden,
Behind another’s hell.
I looked in the mirror to find myself
And saw a backward road on a path I knew too well.
Trying to escape—it was not love but addiction
That pulled me back to a tragic fiction.
And now I live in a no-man’s land.
I reach out in the night to grasp your hand,
Expecting to feel you there,
Imagining climbing up the stair
To reach you in the light,
As I used to do when things were right.
But now it’s over,
We’re nowhere now.
I’m sorry, so sorry my love!
I still will find you somehow.
Aug 7, 2018
Aug 7, 2018 at 2:06 PM UTC
I dip my toes in the tide
adjacent to the edge of my all-consuming paracosm.
The water is cold
alluring
unsteady
absolute.
Within it lies the demise
of one thousand dreams
999 unfulfilled wishes
And just over 13 ‘what if’s.
Right outside my humble fantasy
I spy a silhouette,
my potential self.
Warily I take a closer peek.
The girlish apparition reveals nothing
She seems to hold her breath while I lean farther in
And at long last, deserting all juvenile fancies,
reality greets me as I timidly wade
Into the waves.
Jun 11, 2013
Jun 11, 2013 at 6:42 PM UTC
So lost, do I feel...
That what I once knew, will no longer appear.
Terror racks me deep inside,
Forever yearning what once stayed close by my side.
Desperation has bloomed beside my feet...
Screaming...
Pleading...
For what I most need.
With pen and paper taut by my side,
Shall my will continue to thrive,
Afore the ink in my pen dares to dry.
This mere extension of myself,
Paints the colors of my soul.
Of what one will never know,
'Till the new becomes the old.
Too long have these words gone unsaid,
Tainting the many pure thoughts, that have swam through my head.
Trapped deep within my heart so dear,
All of my passions, now contorted with fear.
Curiosity forever sealed within its cage,
Fighting,
Crying,
Desperately wishing to be saved.
A key-less lock hangs loosely,
Taunting those it may.
Holding the door of my prism open, yet preventing any escape
As my lifelong dreams bitterly scream my name.
I cringe,
Shying away from the guilt.
For locking away my desires
And abandoning my will.
Will you ever forgive me?
For leaving you so alone
To gather up dust and grime,
And wander without a home.
Will I ever forgive me,
For deserting my only hope.
Locking it deep within my soul,
Till my hand moved once more.
Spreading my blood across the parchment,
Forever earning my own name.
Holding tight onto reality,
Unwilling to look fantasy in the face.
Creating the key to my own prism,
Will I protect this sacred place.
Sword and shield,
'Til infinity fades,
Do I vow.
© 2013 SparksLC
Oct 16, 2013
Oct 16, 2013 at 6:43 PM UTC
I never thought my mentality could be torn to such an extent.
Worse than the slaps
The shoves
the kicks
the punches
I went in for Joy
I had hope
never thought I could live a life so exhausted
Stress is the word of the day. Every day
But its so overdone
It goes beyond anxiety.
Fear
helplessness
Every cent I earn goes to the family we were supposed to be
creating
Now its all going to the family I wish I could be
deserting
How can I love her when I come home and
“You're a piece of ****
“Where were you all day?”
“You're a piece of ****
I'm a piece of **** I'm a ************* piece of ****
I'm gone to often, I don't dress nice, always on my phone
have to many **** friends
don't care enough
never clean
smell horrible
can't perform
don't love her enough
Tell me a way to show my love
Tell me
I want to know
because maybe it will get her to stop
maybe it will get her to
be who I told “I do”
It was all mental for a while
I thought when you broke it was like
in half
I didn't know there were
shatters
tears
splits
explosions
My identity was numb by the time she started physically
my friends and family believe the rumors
*********** has addicted another husband
I don't have what it takes be a
“real man”
No hope, no reason, no soul
her life
her punching bag
her creativity
Don't tell me women can't physically abuse
they're not dumb
You get punched, slapped, kicked
so you grab her
see you in a year when you get out
she called in and there was marks on
her arms from your hands
now you're the guy who has no pride
I haven't had one for a while
If I did I would have been locked up
two years ago
But I also don't have a me
so its easier
It hurts yes
but I'm in more pain when I think about not being
able to see my boy
Sep 12, 2015
Sep 12, 2015 at 7:49 PM UTC
Our Dog Howling at Sunset
At sunset, the dog howls at sirens in town.
If he were snowbound in Talkeetna,
A hundred miles from nowhere,
What would he howl at instead?
I saw my husband trudging through the frost,
His blue jacket half-tinted orange and red,
“I don’t like the way you sound,” he said
As he left, deserting one who was already lost.
If I were a thousand miles from him now,
Listening to the wolves’ mournful cries,
And my beloved shunning me as he does now,
Would I pretend to believe my lover’s lies?
Or, instead, would it be enough to exist
Where the short summer dies on winter’s grist,
And true love’s a dream born on a dreamer’s mist,
And the one to stay with is the one you’ve just kissed?
If I lived in a land so cruel and hard,
Would I be bargaining with my soul?
If love’s short date were but a moon’s silver shard,
Would he be a passing thought, and my son the whole
Of any future we had scattered out on the snow,
Or caught in the rime-bound trees?
Would I see then what I already know—
That his future lies with himself and not me?
As our wolf howls a timeless wail to the air
I can listen and guess at its season.
I can comfort myself it will always be there,
Beyond human hopes, beyond reason.
Far wiser, the black-furred hound, than I,
To sing out his ancient song.
Waiting, watching, as we struggle and die,
Only to pass his wisdom along.
Waiting, hoping as he does for a touch,
He is made to think that he asks too much--
Waiting for a kind word or loving hand--
Wild and alone, in humanity’s bleak land.
A southern writer once lamented the lack
Of courage in humankind,
And suggested we borrow the strength we see
In the branches of an olive tree.
Yet there’s more courage in the dog-wolf’s cry,
Penned out on our city-cropped lawn,
As if he knows the grief of my son and I
When the man we both love is gone.
“Could we not as well” take a lesson from him,
Our wild and loyal friend?
To howl out our sorrow and loneliness,
Though the pain might never end?
Now, in the twilight I hear my lover return,
With no greeting to me, and I burn
For the summer’s newborn passion I recall.
The twilight wolf’s mourning tells it all:
That we never will have what we had before
That love can die just as well as it’s born,
That a child is the only one who restores
What is lost to the lonesome, the wolves, the forlorn.
July 6, 2001
Aug 19, 2018
Aug 19, 2018 at 11:45 PM UTC
1.
Sweet love
Oh, such sweet love.
2.
Stick into the pincushion of hope
Gentle pins of far-off dreams,
Holding wispy threads of desire
For which time (as a heading) is never enough.
Push down and drown all thought
Which beckon expectation -
And trust to want less.... or nothing;
Thus reduced, we get no fails.
3.
All up to the sky
We cry,
Agonising -
That waiting of footfall.
Then.....
Lovely flow.
Yes, let's dare to increase
Irregular patterns of abdicated pain.
To fulfill what is so held back.
4.
Because of you
Three days can last a lifetime
Full of affection and delicious warmth
Within the bearings of your arms.
5.
Dreams in the coffee whorls
Willing spindles now
Turn as they eddy...like happy tidings
All around my head.
Dreamscapes thrive
In dulcet whirls inside our core.
6.
No shipwrecks here,
No abandoning of esperance.
No deserting,
No dereliction of love.
No grief,
No castaways on hopeless coast.
These proffered crumbs on palm
Become sought-after......and precious gifts.
7.
Sweet love garnered over time
Poured slowly.....into sacred cup.
Where phantoms run to hide away
No abode for wicked despair.
Oh, for lovelorn hearts and broken dreams
To find such gladness in a cup
We hold hope, ever bold....so deep in heart
And sink away in woven bliss.
Capsule of infinity.....
8.
Come, let us drink
From our coffee-cup.....
Of love.
Oh, come......
9.
Time to kneel and give thanks
Place forgiving wafer on tongue.
Take none in haste
Accept only when ready.
To....
Drink sweetness of sky's nectar.
10.
Of pastures plain
And meadow green
Swift do echoes fall
As moments slip away....like clouds.
11.
Oh, and....
One sugar....
(No analogy needed, surely :)
Hot.....
(Nor here!)
And BLACK, please.
S T, 11 April 2013
Apr 11, 2013
Apr 11, 2013 at 3:44 PM UTC
she said she was born on the edges
of paintings someone had always forgotten to finish
she said she lived on the banks of rivers that never reach the sea
her voice trailed off at every juncture
giving the afternoon a song
that only the heart could hear
“and do you feel this as I do?”
gazing softly into nowhere
She paused
and let a sigh that vaulted a chorus to her presence
it heralded above all the things we could never see
it wrapped it’s arms around the world
and gave birth
to what she had always yearned to say
but language had always failed
from the fragrance of the river
she shed her outer most layer of mistrust
“we are”, she said “incapable of deserting ourselves here"
“it is this naked hollow that
bestows the paths
from which we will approach"
“by looking
into you I have already been laid bare,
let us reach under this skin,
touch the untouchable
and finish the edges of a painting
long forgotten
and stained with the graffiti
of your past”
Oct 20, 2021
Oct 20, 2021 at 9:55 AM UTC
Awaken, pyre
From my soul
Cease your sleep
Set my spirit ablaze
Poetess inside
You’ve reaped my emotions
Stolen my Muse
Return! Return my heart!
I will not endure once more
Your years of poetic midnight!
Lost in the darkness you left for me
Encircled my false shame
While you slept
Did you have a nice nap,
O, Princess Inspiration?
How could you dare
Leave my spirit
In such dank cellars of misery
Living on phony clones of yours?
Shame, shame
For deserting all that was once ours
Together
Awaken, pyre!
Accept that I have
Woken from your poetic sleep
Only to see with eyes filled with fury
You had left me with
Only horrid simulations of yourself!
Awaken, pyre!
Dormancy of your spark,
No longer!
I was fooled-
Betrayed by your tricks
Of utter betrayal
I must hold you as my own
Once again I will embrace whatever
Design I find within you
Oh
Evil
Inspiration
Awaken!
Jun 26, 2011
Jun 26, 2011 at 11:55 AM UTC
My mind breaks down, screaming
The pain increases, always hurting
Wish it wasn't real, only dreaming
All my thoughts seem to be deserting
Hands held to my head, no escape
It's pounding, just building inside
Hear me shout out across the landscape
I can never escape even if I tried
Knocking at the door, knocking more
Thumping, taking me to the floor
Knocking at the door, head so sore
Save me from this migraine, I implore
copyright Chris Smith 16th December 2010
For all those who suffer the curse of a migraine.
Dec 15, 2010
Dec 15, 2010 at 7:09 PM UTC
swirling
living
in a world
filled
with vicarious
vicious doubt
spreading
a cancer throughout
lingering
for moments
hours
days
weeks
months
then dissipating
softly through
the indigo midnight bloom
filling crevasses
exploding voluptuously
in a brilliant crimson
clouds of dust
ending day
while beginning night
coaxing death
aching
for tranquility
in quiet hours
fearless at dawn
shivering
in the absence of warmth
taking
soft, lonely steps
towards unknown pleasures
yearning
begging
for the sun’s eager rays
to cast long, winter shadows
to awaken us
and to bring
an end
to slumber
in the young hours
restless shifting
and beating fingers
grazing lips
across frozen air
capturing breath
and slowing recovery
spring
blooms tulips
and she
is there
only she
lingers
taking my eyes
and sealing
my quivering mouth shut
with subtle words
robbing me
of my senses
driving
me to the bring of madness
and deserting me
in azure fields
tinged
with velvet gold
she takes
my thoughts
wrapping them
in delicate papyrus
savors them
like i savor
her presence
her silver
her waves
of silken tones
her musical strings
her tulips
in blooming spring
driving away
madness
only her
May 7, 2014
May 7, 2014 at 2:02 AM UTC
embodied in the flesh of ghosts
it's an unknown atmosphere
look deep into the eyes of the host
you'll see the devil's here
he lives in me
we talk amongst ourselves in vain
laughing at those around us
too caught up in religion to see the pain
though the world's on fire
it's my soul's desire
to be free again
raging waters beneath the core
from the tears of broken hearted rain
singing a song freedom
engulfed in ash and flames
deep in the pits of this self centered hell
you may hear the sound of my name
it is but the voice of my own throat
screaming to be claimed
in a blackness so dark and deep
this body is just the frame
i gauge out the eyes of the host
so he can take the blame
i curse the heavens for deserting me
for making me insane
it's an unknown atmosphere
being trapped in here
Oct 25, 2015
Oct 25, 2015 at 12:45 PM UTC
A ritual, I shape an acacia from your flesh and blood –
the fluff rather concealed. So are we, though your insides decorate
a globe just shy of blonde cornfields.
Tomorrow, you can be the columbine’s milk,
split drops deserting her center: now a park of petals on the edge.
But I examine every exposed hipbone, your clavicles rosy by me –
there is something around a jonquil about this image
you spread so I can embrace you, answer coils like a telephone
and want as much far away as I would close up to flaxen.
Hand me a celandine capsule or periwinkle bow –
all of this tied in a knot, originated from a bend of your hair.
I have recollections and joy from imminent meadows, girl and boy.
Apr 14, 2013
Apr 14, 2013 at 4:29 PM UTC
Sat on a leatherette sofa waiting for my order.
The kitchen looks to be in some disorder.
The staff are flirting,
The customers deserting.
Leaving me still sat on a leatherette sofa wondering,
Where in the hell is my order?!
Sep 7, 2018
Sep 7, 2018 at 3:21 PM UTC
A wolf in shepherd's clothing
You lead your sheep astray
Tossing aside those posing
a threat to your crooked way
You strip them of their fleece
Making them to lie in the snow
As you wrap yourself in wool sheets
Laughing, because the sheep don't know
You feast on golden cakes
While casting your sheep a single scrap
You ignore the coyotes and snakes
Deserting the wounded and trapped
Oh, how your words tickle
The ears of those you mislead
Thirsty, they lap the trickle
When a gush of water is what they need
So, what will you say
As you receive your judgment due?
Will you weep and give thanks
Realizing The Savior's blood covers even you?
Mar 23, 2012
Mar 23, 2012 at 12:04 PM UTC
Please excuse me.
How could I write something so contradicting?
To write something so encouraging, upbeat, and blithe
Amidst my unsteady thoughts, my weary heart, my muddled mind.
Maybe that's what we all need;
For someone to smile in this world so dreary,
Even as a storm rages inside.
But I don't feel it,
These poems backed up in my mind,
The care and love for humanity I had weeks ago.
Now my spirits are downcast,
For a reason I don't even know.
I doubt how I can tell you that I care,
When right now, all I want to do is be alone.
How can I preach it when I don't live it?
I walk, blurryfaced, down these halls,
Avoiding your eyes, deserting your fight.
And I'm sorry.
But I fear I'll put on a mask again
By telling you one more hopeful thing,
Because right now, doubt's my only friend.
My mind may scare you but please don't run.
Not sure exactly where these thoughts come from.
I think too much.
I'm falling asleep.
Stay with me.
Aug 31, 2018
Aug 31, 2018 at 5:49 PM UTC
The woes of life
we pass them on,
'cause if we can't see them
then the problem is gone.
We shudder when
we hear transgression
but we all watch on
and then take our confession.
Now that we're forgiven
we can carry on
cause if we can't see it
then the problem is gone.
The world we know
could be much better run,
removing the barrier,
deserting the gun.
Renounce all the greed
and announce it out loud.
That up until now
we cannot be proud.
Or we can stand still,
and not move on.
Cause if we pretend
then the problem is gone.
Could we stand together
and perhaps all refuse
to join in with hate
and reject racist views.
This is maybe the only
way that we can move on.
Cause if we all join together
then the problem is gone.
Mar 14, 2015
Mar 14, 2015 at 3:36 PM UTC
Silver smoke blurring your vision
Noisy TV distracting your mind
Shallow books keeping you busy
Detached, isolated, standing apart
Unable to forgive or forget the past
Bitterness poisoning your feelings
Incapable of showing love
Absent from life, inaccessible
Unaware of your greatness
Master of pain and resent
Forever a victim you remain
Weeping past events
Detesting life all the way
For what you will never repent
Master of disguise
Never showing feelings
Always wearing your iron mask
Books and TV help you forget the life you hate
Smoking keeps your monsters away
Always longing for your deserting mum
For you always felt “not good enough”
Constantly grieving the only man you ever loved
For he was killed on your wedding day
Forever resenting the unwanted child
For whom you married the wrong guy
Master of revenge
An eye for an eye
Always haunted by the past
The world has to endure your pain
No matter what
Motherhood couldn’t mend your shattered heart
For you stayed loyal to your acrimony
Eternal victim of your bitterness
Afraid of abandonment, deserting everybody
Oct 27, 2010
Oct 27, 2010 at 2:46 AM UTC
Sadness is *****
I'm bathin' in my blues.
My heart is a hurtin'
The tears are burnin'
You never had a clue.
I shower in my sorrows
Let my pain cascade around me.
Still my friends surround me.
Sickness is deserting.
Whining pain keeps churning.
A sickness in my heart,
A sickness in my soul.
With every passing day,
There comes a deadly cold.
Happiness is cleansing.
The feeling of joy,
I'm not pretending.
With a smile on my face,
Just one last grand embrace.
With that look in your eyes,
The sadness is gone,
Without a trace.
Jul 6, 2015
Jul 6, 2015 at 9:09 PM UTC