Like an image, the memory reminds me of every curve hes lips forms, like a 3d movie, definining a feeling afraid to be forgotten. with every constant flash  i lose myself from reality. completely hopeless my  heart beats at normal pace hinting "it's going to be okay". while every breathe reminds me the sparkle look of hes eyes caught in mine with total awareness. and every touch that carried a series of goosebumps my skin still feels.
Avoiding the present, i lie in bed absolutely innocent gathering all the pieces to form an untouchable memory of unrepeated words that reached my heart in he's presence. while the unimaginable touch of he's palm flickers my hair from the wind blocking my face, grabbing my neck and with it our last goodbye! Completely breathless the feeling make my heart mad, accepting a life without he's presence and good-charm. 'If it's meant to be it shouldnt be so so hard'. I repeat to myself gathering courage to enjoy every moment. Reminding me of a night spent admiring the flickering lights that caught our eyes , while coconut palms sang loudly reminding us of their presence. the wind through the leaves creating a relaxing melody of shushing sounds of rattling words of an unspeakable feeling brushed through siblings of the same branch.

i don't play video games to format
escapism...
   you should know, if you smoke
cigarettes,
you play video games to "escape"
into a world of:
smoking under 20 a day,
   and prevent yourself from
looking blankly at a brick wall
"thinking" it's a chess board...
                  that's about it...
and to be honest? that's enough...
i'm bored with the western quest
for definining consciousness & reality,
i'm, bored, of, listening, to these quack-doctors
redefining the base for an easily
accessed noun...
  i'm bored, i'm turning my tonsils
into testicles as a result...
  i'm bored of these people trying,
simply trying, not doing, but trying
to approach the "problem" from this angle...
pigeons are one thing,
    quack-doctors are another...
                   i'd prefer the sky-dive echo
of a falcon swooping down to catch its prey...
i'd prefer that, like i prefer watching
the best example of capitalism:
                copetitive sports...
            no point heading into space,
if humanity is a cocktail of interests that's
both discouraging unity,
             and uniting for a dis-unity...
capitalism doesn't exist in outer-space...
the **** are these people on?
  i want a nibble: i want to be the kite,
   not the kite-runner!
                  nonetheless,
gaming is a great way to fit into a 20...
i don't game for the "pleasure",
i game because it's the most satisfying
procrastination...
            better than chewing on carrots;
keeps the fingers nimble,
      keeps the hands itchy...
       and guess what...
a break from thinking: modus automaton,
operandi per se.