the rat ******* has been re-purposed
(conscripted in a somewhat fodder task)
brandishing irons
and quarter lines
coiled and unwavering
insidious and cunning
pent up and fired
in  his dripping shoes
and peel back skin

wheel bug and hookworm
are stolid in his wake
(all bursting grossly at the buckle!)
the heel on task;
slithering and rogue
merciless and coy
resolute and contemptuous
with his cotton mat
and quick ready quill

pungi and clapper
raise the clever snake
(croker sacks and wicker backs
dot the gasoline rainbow)
carnival barkers and kraken
(lewd in the distance)
taunting and vile
with their red beakers
and deep purple hearts

cicada and louse
high on alert
(ready to wreak havoc in the hog wallows)
the perverse cornered rat
snapping and soiled
foaming and inflamed
lurking and primed
inside his carefully crafted plan

easels and cover alls
suit this jackal well
(keefer’s little helper or so they'd say)
pickers running rough shod
all stirring up the stench
***** and conkeys
poised
and ready
to lime this cornered slug

The Raiders show raiders v st george at GIO Stadium

    with johnny brown and Sue Longways




johnny’   welcome dudes to GIO stadium to this match between the dragons and the raiders and this is going to be a

great match, the raiders are 11th and the dragons are at 14, and whoever wins, I can guarantee it will be a spectacle

and i have Pete from Hawker with us now with a poem for us, hoping to get the Raiders into top swing

Pete”    ok dudes let’s swing it

you see the bad and mean green machine, big and strong and fast and mean

you see you shouldn’t try and stop these men in green, cause we are 3 positions higher than the opposition

Johnny’  well, short but sweet, and have you been worried about form in some matches

Pete’   well, yes, but that makes no difference, the raiders are going to win dudes, i will sing it again

you see we are the bad and mean green machine, big and strong and fast and mean

you see you shouldn’t try and stop these men in green, cause we are 3 positions higher than the opposition

Johnny’   well thanks Pete and now here is Sue Longways with another fine poem from the crowd

Sue’   thanks Johnny and what a great atmosphere here at GIO Stadium today, a great twilight match, and everyone

is in fine voice to cheer the raiders to beat the dragons tonight, and here is John Barten from Queanbeyan and he hates

how the Raiders went to Canberra all those years ago, so he sings a dragons tune

John’   go the dragons go the dragons

go the mighty dragons team

you see it’s only early in the season

go the mighty dragons cause the raiders moved here

I know we shouldn’t hold a grudge, mate, but i am and there is nothing you can do oh no

go the mighty dragons and i will go for them till the Raiders go back to Seiffert Oval, dudes

Sue”   thanks John and now here is Harold from Lyneham

Harold’   i am the bad and mean raiders fan

we supply the best coming out of the can

you see i go to the footy with mates george and dan

you see we’ll hit ya hit ya hit ya the mighty green machine

Sue’  thanks Harold and now here is the Raiders team, bring on the team

Jordan Rapana and Sisa Waqa and Jarrod Croker and Jarrad kennedy and edrick lee and blake austin and Mitchell Cornish


and Shannon Boyd and Josh Hodgson and Dane Tilse and Josh Papali and Sia Solicia and Shaun Fensom

and the 4 interchange players  Josh McRone and Frank-Paul Nuuausala and Paul Vaughan and Luke Bateman

and now here is Ken from Symonston with his poem

Ken”   i have been coming out to the GIO stadium every time we play

you see it’s fun when we win, but when we lose, we certainly do ****** pay

and the main thing about it is, we beat the easy teams and beat the hard teams but never at the best time

come on Raiders, it’s surely the time to win, oh ****** yeah


sue”   thanks Ken and now here is Rob with his jingle

Rob”     Run Raiders run

as we charge onto the GIO stadium yeah

run raiders run you see we have the team, we’ll win oh yeah

yeah we will come a running, and score a hundred tries

yeah that will be so cool,

run raiders run, oh yeah the Raiders are the team to beat i hope

run raiders run

they are the team that will thrash the opposition yeah

you see we won one and lost one

run raiders run

yeah the mighty raiders, will be our son of a gun

Sue”    thanks Rob for that and now here is the dragons team


first is Peter Mata’utia and Etonia Nabuli and Dan Nielson and Dylan Farrell and Jason Nightingale

and gareth Widdop and Benji Marshall and Leeson Ah Mau and Mitch Rein and George Rose

and Tyson Frizell and Joel Thompson and Jack de Belin

and the interchange men are trent Merrin and Heath L”Estrange and Rory O’Brien and Mike Cooper and Jake Marketo

and here is Mike from Jerrabomberra with his jingle

oh yeah those dragons yeah, they win more than the raiders yeah

they supply all the tries, in fact more tries than the locals, why don’t they win the grand

well i think i know, it’s because we lose our playing ability after thrashing the raiders here and anywhere

so go the dragons, go the mighty dragons, the right team to win the match

sue’   ok thanks Mike and now here is Keith from Latham with his song

carn the carn the carn the mighty raiders team, please dudes don’t make us say **** mate

make our raiders team win, carn the raiders carn the raiders, watch our team win well

on our home ground see, go the mighty raiders for a great victory

ya see i live in Latham and in my lounge room i have raiders cushions and raiders tables and heaps

of videos too including the great grand final victories in ’89 and “91 and the great ‘94

they haven’t won a grand final since in the first grade oh no

but if they win a few games where they don’t drop the ball too much

they will play so ****** hard, GO THE RAIDERS, DUDES

Sue’   ok that is it for me, and now back to Johnny

Johnny”  thanks Sue for telling us the teams and letting us hear some great home truths, let’s hope the

Raiders can win tonight, and now here is ?Bob from Cook with a jingle

Bob’   go the raiders go the raiders, do ya reckon we have the stamminer to win today

go the raiders go the raiders, should we win, should we win

twinkle twinkle raiders pack, how i wonder whether you’ll win

up above the GIO park tonight, make sure we clean this game free of fights

twinkle twinkle raiders pack, go the raiders through and through

Johnny’ thanks Bob and now here is Ernie from Higgins with his rhyme

hey ****** ****** the dragons are ready, are they going to win

all have the raiders put all their dropping the ball crap in the flaming bin

Shaun Fensom laughed at this little rhyme, as hopefully the raiders grab the 2 points

Johnny’  thanks Ernie and first my tip, well to the ladder, i say Raiders, on current form, well raiders be 6, could be more

and who do you support Sue

Sue’    well to the ladder, the Raiders, but on current form, dragons by 2, but i could change

Johnny”   ok, we’ll be back at half time, ok, here on the Raiders show

GO THE CANBERRA RAIDERS

Daniel?

A piggish snort. Crusted eyes crack open like the wings of a beetle. Ragged nails scrape against the red-worn desert of an adolescent jawbone. A fishlipped yawn.

Ugh. What?

What did you call that plant thing again?

Jesus, James. Waxwood. It's a reddish bark. Oozes this cloudy stuff if you crush it.

Oh. Yeah, of course. Sorry.

Ambient silence. Raindrops fill with rotting organic sediment and fall into the leaves around the
clapboard tollbooth. A zealous fist of ivy tightens its tattered fingers across rheumatic windowpanes.

Dan?

Mm?

Why don't you like to talk about Clifftown?

Ambient silence. Raindrops. Ivy.

I’ll tell you why I don’t like to talk about Clifftown.

Go on.

Sigh.

I was born there. Before all this happened, it was this small village where onions grew. Not many people lived there. There was... Christ. A church, a chemist, a library and a few houses. The biggest house was this tall yellow clapboard place, which was on the cliff by the sea. This kid who lived there. He wasn’t -

A thud as a gesticulating knuckle rasps against splintered pine.

-Ow, **** - didn’t look human. His head was big and soft like a berry, and his eyes were wide and wet and creepy, and he never spoke. It was like he was empty.

What’d you say his name was again?

Never did.

A dusty rubbing noise as the fluid is forced out of a cheekbone.

Leviticus Croker. He died when he fell from a low salt cliff into the sea or something. Can’t remember.

****. I’m sorry.

Don’t be. I hated him.

A lump of pressed asphalt sends a clouded multitude of motes spinning and passes screaming through the glass pane of the sunwards window. A chuckle.

That was a year ago. They had to blame somebody.

Oh. Right.

An eyelid raised in revelation traps a mote against the skin stretched taut across a young skull.

Right. ****.

The raiders show v manly April 28 2019


Hi everyone and welcome to the raiders show on a year where we have won 5 out of 6 wins with their only loss was against the Melbourne storm
And today should be a great test to see if Canberra raiders are good enough to go further this year I personally think raiders have the guts to win it, but only time will tell ok let’s start the jingles and poems and cheers here is the first from Oliver

We are the mighty raiders
We will fight for what is right
Pushing for a premiership
In 2 0 1 9
Are we good enough
Well I think we are
But today we must pass manly
Because they seem the best
As they play the green machine song
To start the match
Everyone will cheer the raiders name
Saying we will win hands down
But at the stroke of 4-00
The question of whether the raiders are good enough will be answered
Go raiders go

Thank you Oliver and now here is Andy billims with a festive footy song

It is the football season oh yeah
And the raiders team will enter the field ready to show manly who if boss
And they want manly to have a loss
At brookvale oval today
The crowd is getting ready to
Wave their flags saying go raiders
We must win but to those manly
Supporters out there
We will win this mighty match
Go raiders go for us
As the supporters and players
Are riding the bus
Yes we are going to win we will never
Give in to those manly sea eagles
It is the football season
And the green machine
Is looking fast and mean
Never lean, we are mighty keen
To best the sea eagles yeah
And at the chime of 4-00
Raiders will see the truth
Of whether they win or lose

Thank you Andy and let’s hope raiders do win this afternoon against manly and now here is our next jingle poem or cheer from Patrick

G’day dudes my name is pat
Ready to cheer the raiders on
To beat manly and that is that
You see we have strong players
Who play very well
And Ricky Stuart will push us to the limit yeah
We have beaten teams who were once pretty good
And if we lose, guess who will be in a bad mood
I will yell at friends and family
C’mon raiders for this victory
We have in the past been
Known as the faders
But this year is different
We are the mighty raiders
We will raid your park as
We raise the roof
I know the raiders can excite us
I just want proof
Go raiders go raiders go raiders go

Thank you Patrick and here’s hoping we can all get together this afternoon to cheer hard for the Canberra raiders
Here is Jarred with his poem

Go raiders we are the best
We will put the eagles to the test
Coming up to provide the best
But the manly side will never rest
You see Canberra need to work ****** hard
Burning off the extra lard
From all the times the raiders have lost
C’mon raiders beat the hosts
Go raiders go

Thank you jarred and now off to the first half go the mighty raiders beat the eagles

Welcome back to the raiders show for the half time entertainment and what a match we have with the raiders leading manly by just 2 points, 14-12
And now here is ken with a jingle

Wighton wighton
You are the best mate
Two tries for the green machine
You are the one who is bad and mean
Wighton wighton
Everybody says your awesome dude
You need to score more though
If a win against manly is on the cards
Wighton wighton
Congratulations and celebrations
As the manly side scored their second try right at the last minute through former raiders Lachlan croker
Go the raiders we can’t give up
If we drop the ball we will choke choke choke come on raiders we must win today the mighty green machine
Will hopefully make manly pay
Thank you ken and now here is joe with his input

Fighting strong the green machine
We are the pride of the ACT
We are up by just 2 points
We need to provide more pressure
Yes we do
Don’t want no red or even blue
No orange or maroon too
We will see if the green machine
Will knock manly out in this game
But the pressure is coming over Canberra yeah
We fight we rise and we conquer
All over the place
We need to win c’mon raiders to win
Send manly off the field licking their wounds go raiders go

Thank you joe and now the second half between the raiders and sea eagles
Go raiders go
We will fight and we will win
Go raiders go
We will send manly to the sin bin
Go raiders go
Will wighton score his third
C’mon raiders win this match
Right now

Welcome back to the raiders show
And what a pretty ordinary performance from the raiders with manly winning 24 points to 20 and despite all the talk of the commentators saying they won from their last try, they made a mistake which ran down the clock for manly
Here is Tom

Go manly go manly go the mighty sea eagles
Winning is the way we do it
Go the eagles yeseree
I can answer the question mate
What is wrong with the raiders now
The second half of Canberra was crap and manly made the most of it
By becoming no sap
Go manly go manly
Go the mighty eagles yeah
We win only by 4 but a win none the less

Thank you Tom and congratulations to your team and I hope the raiders can bounce back next week, well hope so anyway and now here is Lyle with his jingle

Poor raiders lost their second match
Poor raiders having problems with their performance
It isn’t that good
Manly too strong
And raiders fell into a hole
The first half was good for raiders
But the second half went down
It is a 80 minute game not 40
The raiders faded away
What was wrong what was wrong
Raiders have been beaten for the second time
If we are to make the finals mate
We have to play a 80 minute game

Thank you Lyle and now here is Keith

The raiders played such **** in
The second half
Their performance in the second half was as woeful as can be
What happened to the side that has been winning in the last few weeks
Will we see them again
Well I hope so
I ****** well hope so
They need to win again
Just when you think the raiders
Were finals bound
They play a woeful match
In the second half
And to make a good position in the finals
They need to play better than that
Well done manly
I am a great sport
I hope the raiders can bounce back
And no more fade away

Thank you Keith and now it is time to go, it is beer o’clock there is no more

And now we draw the final curtain
What happened to the raiders mate
Normally this year we sing their praises now we have to lick our wounds
Join us next week for our mcdonalds park match with Penrith the mighty mountain men
I hope we could win that
It will be a great great match
But after our woeful second half
We need to bounce right on back to
Keep on track

Manly. 24
Raiders 20

The raiders show

V parramatta April 14 2019


Hi everyone and welcome to the raiders show where the mighty Canberra raiders are playing the pride of the parramatta eels and seeing the raiders have won 3 lost 1 it is going to be a thrilling match and we start the entertainment with Joel from waramanga

We are the bad and mean green machine fearsome men from the ACT
We will trample over the eels today
And we will hit ‘em fight ‘em
Even if biff wasn’t allowed
I want no red I want no blue
No purple pink or orange too
There is just one colour and
That will do
The fighting men from the green machine
Come on Canberra
We have to win tonight
If we don’t put up a fight
The side will fade away fade away
Like an old rusty coin
We are the bad and mean green machine fighting fit
We are looking mean
As our opponents will be seeing green
When we beat ‘em beat ‘em and that will be the end

Thank you Joel a very good version of the green machine song and now here is Barry from Curtin

Go go the raiders
The mighty green machine
We will be up there fighting
We will never be lean
Come on raiders you are the best
Watch out eels we will put you
To the test
Go go the raiders
Better than the worst
Go go the raiders
I think I see an eel trying to first
That won’t happen because the
Raiders are great
Go raiders go raiders
The team of today
Go go the raiders
Let’s finish the round with a bang
Carn the mighty raiders
Watch the raiders burst up a Bang
That will be the eels when they lose today
Go the mighty raiders mate
Better than the rest

Thank you Barry and yes it will be fantastic to see the raiders win today
And now here Bradley from Dunlop

In an era of upsets
Good and bad can occur
But the mighty Canberra raiders
Will fight right till they are through
With strong players who perform at their best
Those players will put eels to the test
It is going to be great cool and totally rad
The raiders this year have been far from bad
Yes those eels will be at their best
But the raiders are going to put them to the test
You see we are the mighty green machine fast and mean and fighting fit
We ain’t scared of the eels
Not one little bit
Thank you Bradley
And I am saying to you that
Raiders are great
Raiders are strong
They play their best even if the game is long
They will fight the eels
They will never squeal
Come on raiders go go go
Come on raiders
Win on my raiders show
And after this break the start of the match go the raiders the lead we’ll catch ok here is the match between the green machine and the eels

Welcome back to the raiders show and now we have the half time entertainment with Keith from Monash

Yes it started like this, raiders pushing for the try line trying so hard and parramatta trying their best to get tries and when they got their first try they were happy and converted the try to make it 6-0 and the eels were finding it hard to get a try even a forward pass stopped them from breaking through and the raiders
Scored a penalty goal to make it 8-0
At the break go the raiders kick some *** go the raiders show some class
Go the raiders in 2019

Thank you Keith and now jimmy from O’Malley

Come on raiders come on come on
Come on raiders come on
We are the green machine
We are fighting fit in the ACT
If you stop us from finding our feet
We will hit ya hit ya hit ya
The eels will be toast
Croker kicked 2 awesome goals
And the raiders look awesome too
Anyhow
We fight out our aggression
The eels will be a suffering
But who cares we have the half time lead
Come on raiders come on come on
Come on raiders come on
Yes they will win this match and if
We play well the premiership
Which mightn’t be so much
Out of the raiders reach
To win 4 th game tonight will be awesome go raiders go
Thank you jimmy and now
Back to the match go raiders win the 4 th match of the year

Welcome back to the raiders show and what a great win by the raiders
19 to nil, the first time the raiders to nil twice in 5 rounds since 1990, what a win it had turned out to be and now here Harry from Braddon

Go the raiders go the raiders
Raiders clap clap clap
Raiders clap clap clap
It was a match that was very good
Beating parramatta to nil
It was an interesting match my friend
Go the mighty raiders oh yeah
We had an 8-0 lead at half time And then in the second we just went with it
The eels made too many mistakes
What a game it was go the mighty mighty raiders oh yeah
We have the broncos next week
And if we play like this
There will be a chance
All we need to push ourselves right
And knock the broncos around
Yes that is what we need to do
Raiders clap clap clap
Raiders clap clap clap
The raiders have played well this year so far will they keep it up

Thank you harry, and let’s hope they keep it up and now here is John from ainslie

Raiders clap clap clap
Raiders clap clap clap
What an opening this has turned out
To be
The best start the raiders have had
And holding the eels to nil too yo
What a fantastic win
Let’s pile on the pressure raiders
And knock the broncos back home
We are the green machine
Let’s hope we can show the youth of today why they called us the green machine
I remember back then it was great it was great
Ooh I need to get home at half past 8
But I can sing about the raiders all night
Let’s go to parramatta leagues club
And get in a fight
Raiders clap clap clap
Raiders clap clap clap
Raiders are the team to watch in 2019

Thank you John and now our last entertaining number of the night is Imogen from hawker

Come on raiders
Kick some ***
Come on raiders
Tonight you showed some class
The lord was looking down on you
One try and an almighty 2 and
3 and then a great field goal
Taking the heart out of your soul
I have been a raiders fan
For such a long time
So let’s cheer and cheer
Them over the line
Raiders clap clap clap
Raiders clap clap clap
Kicking *** tonight

Thank you Imogen and now we must go, see you next week against the broncos let’s hope raiders win 5 well we have to just see and now time for the final curtain see you next time on the raiders show

And now we draw the final curtain
And the raiders won their 4th
Out of 5 games it was like fucken war
And next week we face the broncos
Let’s hope we win, I hope so
We need to celebrate Easter
With a win go the Canberra raiders
Yeseree
See you next week everybody

the raiders show, the half time show, v dragons



johnny’   welcome back, and what a start we have for the raiders, you see we got to a lead

of 18 points to nil, and at half time the raiders lead 18 points to 8 with  hodgson and soliola and

blake austin, and croker scored 3 2 pointers while merrin scores a try for the dragons and widdop

scores 2 2 pointers, and the raiders have made a few mistakes, but they have a good lead

and here is sue

sue’  ok welcome, and here is tim with his jingle

tim’   oh yeah we are the bad and mean green machine

fearsome men looking keen,

don’t try and stop these men in green

cause we hit ya hit ya hit ya, and you’ll see green

run raiders run we have a 10 point lead yeah

run raiders run, will we win will we win yeah

we run up the field, and score 3 tries, oh what a team we have

run raiders run, oh yeah raiders, we are the best

sue’  thanks tim and now here is olly

olly’    in canberra town we were born come on raiders, oh we can win

in canberra town, in the north, bound for fun at GIO

come on ya mighty raiders, come on, we must win

go the mighty raiders team, beat the hapless dragons

sue’  ok thanks olly and now back to johnny

johnny’   thanks sue and now, we hope the raiders don’t fade here, no, go the raiders we are bound to have a victory

see you at full time COME ON RAIDERS