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THE PROLOGUE.

THE Cook of London, while the Reeve thus spake,
For joy he laugh'd and clapp'd him on the back:
"Aha!" quoth he, "for Christes passion,
This Miller had a sharp conclusion,
Upon this argument of herbergage.                              lodging
Well saide Solomon in his language,
Bring thou not every man into thine house,
For harbouring by night is perilous.
Well ought a man avised for to be        a man should take good heed
Whom that he brought into his privity.
I pray to God to give me sorrow and care
If ever, since I highte* Hodge of Ware,                      was called
Heard I a miller better *set a-work
;                           handled
He had a jape
of malice in the derk.                             trick
But God forbid that we should stinte
here,                        stop
And therefore if ye will vouchsafe to hear
A tale of me, that am a poore man,
I will you tell as well as e'er I can
A little jape that fell in our city."

Our Host answer'd and said; "I grant it thee.
Roger, tell on; and look that it be good,
For many a pasty hast thou letten blood,
And many a Jack of Dover hast thou sold,
That had been twice hot and twice cold.
Of many a pilgrim hast thou Christe's curse,
For of thy parsley yet fare they the worse.
That they have eaten in thy stubble goose:
For in thy shop doth many a fly go loose.
Now tell on, gentle Roger, by thy name,
But yet I pray thee be not *wroth for game
;     angry with my jesting
A man may say full sooth in game and play."
"Thou sayst full sooth," quoth Roger, "by my fay;
But sooth play quad play, as the Fleming saith,
And therefore, Harry Bailly, by thy faith,
Be thou not wroth, else we departe* here,                  part company
Though that my tale be of an hostelere.
                      innkeeper
But natheless, I will not tell it yet,
But ere we part, y-wis
thou shalt be quit."               assuredly
And therewithal he laugh'd and made cheer,
And told his tale, as ye shall after hear.

Notes to the Prologue to the Cook's Tale

1. Jack of Dover:  an article of cookery. (Transcriber's note:
suggested by some commentators to be a kind of pie, and by
others to be a fish)

2. Sooth play quad play: true jest is no jest.

3. It may be remembered that each pilgrim was bound to tell
two stories; one on the way to Canterbury, the other returning.

4. Made cheer: French, "fit bonne mine;" put on a pleasant
countenance.


THE TALE.

A prentice whilom dwelt in our city,
And of a craft of victuallers was he:
Galliard
he was, as goldfinch in the shaw*,            lively *grove
Brown as a berry, a proper short fellaw:
With lockes black, combed full fetisly.
                       daintily
And dance he could so well and jollily,
That he was called Perkin Revellour.
He was as full of love and paramour,
As is the honeycomb of honey sweet;
Well was the wenche that with him might meet.
At every bridal would he sing and hop;
He better lov'd the tavern than the shop.
For when there any riding was in Cheap,
Out of the shoppe thither would he leap,
And, till that he had all the sight y-seen,
And danced well, he would not come again;
And gather'd him a meinie
of his sort,              company of fellows
To hop and sing, and make such disport:
And there they *sette steven
for to meet             made appointment
To playen at the dice in such a street.
For in the towne was there no prentice
That fairer coulde cast a pair of dice
Than Perkin could; and thereto he was free    he spent money liberally
Of his dispence, in place of privity.       where he would not be seen
That found his master well in his chaffare,                merchandise
For oftentime he found his box full bare.
For, soothely, a prentice revellour,
That haunteth dice, riot, and paramour,
His master shall it in his shop abie,                       *suffer for
All
have he no part of the minstrelsy.                        although
For theft and riot they be convertible,
All can they play on *gitern or ribible.
             guitar or rebeck
Revel and truth, as in a low degree,
They be full wroth* all day, as men may see.                at variance

This jolly prentice with his master bode,
Till he was nigh out of his prenticehood,
All were he snubbed
both early and late,                       rebuked
And sometimes led with revel to Newgate.
But at the last his master him bethought,
Upon a day when he his paper sought,
Of a proverb, that saith this same word;
Better is rotten apple out of hoard,
Than that it should rot all the remenant:
So fares it by a riotous servant;
It is well lesse harm to let him pace
,                        pass, go
Than he shend
all the servants in the place.                   corrupt
Therefore his master gave him a quittance,
And bade him go, with sorrow and mischance.
And thus this jolly prentice had his leve
:                      desire
Now let him riot all the night, or leave
.                      refrain
And, for there is no thief without a louke,
That helpeth him to wasten and to souk
                           spend
Of that he bribe
can, or borrow may,                             steal
Anon he sent his bed and his array
Unto a compere
of his owen sort,                               comrade
That loved dice, and riot, and disport;
And had a wife, that held *for countenance
            for appearances
A shop, and swived* for her sustenance.             *prostituted herself
       .       .       .       .       .       .       .

Notes to the Cook's Tale

1. Cheapside, where jousts were sometimes held, and which
was the great scene of city revels and processions.

2. His paper: his certificate of completion of his apprenticeship.

3. Louke:  The precise meaning of the word is unknown, but it
is doubtless included in the cant term "pal".

4. The Cook's Tale is unfinished in all the manuscripts; but in
some, of minor authority, the Cook is made to break off his
tale, because "it is so foul," and to tell the story of Gamelyn, on
which Shakespeare's "As You Like It" is founded. The story is
not Chaucer's, and is different in metre, and inferior in
composition to the Tales. It is supposed that Chaucer expunged
the Cook's Tale for the same reason that made him on his death-
bed lament that he had written so much "ribaldry."
these lilttle pretty boy's with there ugly *** hearts
talkin this crap not even one clapp, taahaha :P and there thinkin there slick ,. pshhh
ther'e not even fit nd there lookin like ****, rude ******* madee sick
there words arn't right nd they sound oh so white I'm so down to fight nd show emm whats right like seriously dude I'm a girl nd I'm suren i'd kick assss all they'ed have left is a little ***** classs.
like seriously who tha **** likes an ******* that's stuck the fukk up
excuse me every one my mom just got me these tite *** aeropostale ******* cause i aint got no man junk .
Yeaaa
it's a pain jammed in my *** so Ill just cover it up with bein a big O'l prickk nd sayin I'm better. nd Thinkin i'm bigger .
you're in way but I'm seein yuhr play
that diss you just made just made chu look gay! ;P
like i just said snitch,
Get out nd go figgurrr,
take that crap with ya we don't want yur linger
if ya look backk ***** i'll show you my finger
these lilttle pretty boy's with there ugly *** hearts
talkin this crap not even one clapp, taahaha :P and there thinkin there slick ,. pshhh
ther'e not even fit nd there lookin like ****, rude ******* madee sick
there words arn't right nd they sound oh so white I'm so down to fight nd show emm whats right like seriously dude I'm a girl nd I'm suren i'd kick assss all they'ed have left is a little ***** classs.
like seriously who tha **** likes an ******* that's stuck the fukk up
excuse me every one my mom just got me these tite *** aeropostale ******* cause i aint got no man junk .
Yeaaa
it's a pain jammed in my *** so Ill just cover it up with bein a big O'l prickk nd sayin I'm better. nd Thinkin i'm bigger .
you're in way but I'm seein yuhr play
that diss you just made just made chu look gay! ;P
like i just said snitch,
Get out nd go figgurrr,
take that crap with ya we don't want yur linger
if ya look backk ***** i'll show you my finger
Matthew Sokolov Mar 2019
Do you wanna catch a macro?
Then observe them after that?

But no one does…
And make them all just go extinct…

They used to be just buggies…
But now they’re not…
They are a bigger deal!

Do you wanna catch a macro?
And make a google sheets?

It’ll become a viral tweet,
And end up dying by a week!!!

Then somebody named Michel Clapp liked it all…
He used them to torcher us all!

Now we’re watching the weeks go by,
Really Really Slowly…

“GO AWAY MACROS!!!”
Tushar Singh Aug 2017
Its been a long time,
since we recited together
the same rhyme !!!

The rhyme, that was not a ****,
nor a tale to repeat.
It never was a crapp,
meant for the people's clapp !!!

Though sometimes, u held on high
nd I...on low.
And no matter how slow...,
our frequency of recitation
was always the same !!!

The blissfull days...i still remember
when joy showered.....
yeah.....like the rain of, November.
:P   :P

But you know , the rhyme isn't complete
and it needs you again
for the retweet  ^_^

— The End —